Last Seen Contemporary Movie [Archive] - Page 53 - Horror.com Forums

Tommy Jarvis

12-10-2022, 01:07 PM

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) ★★★

This was a fun little slasher.*

The killers were somewhere between Victor Crowley and The Toxic Avenger, we had a likable final girl,... And the kills? Well, the opening kill with the mailman - aka Polish Pete Postlethwaite - is a good example. You know what's coming, but it still grabs you. The following ones are a lot more gory and in a same way*satisfactory.

It also offers social commentary. Instead of fat camp, the kids go on "phone camp" and the first kid - after the obligatory sex scene - gets offed after his digibesity gets the better of him. And of course there is the gay character. I imagine this is not a theme you bring up easily in current day Poland, so kudos to the makers for going there. Especially because the character comes to a sad ending, not unlike the original Night Of The Living*Dead.

Which brings me to the stylistic side of this film and it's knowledge of horror history. Apart from the fat kid souting oneliners and reciting classic scripts, the film had/seemed to have nods to
- Wrong Turn 2 (the kill was a direct copy)
- Tucker and Dale vs evil (the woodchipper bit)
- Aliens
- a nice variation on "come with me if you want to live"
- Night of the living dead
- Freddy vs*Jason

And I could swear I heard a variation on "When I need you" by Leo Sayer. Not unlike what Jordan Peele does in*Us.

Maybe not a classic, but very enjoyable*nonetheless.

Tommy Jarvis

12-10-2022, 01:08 PM

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) ★½

Da fuq?

Tommy Jarvis

12-10-2022, 01:11 PM

Jason X (2001) ★★½

Once you are in space, all bets are off. And at least this time we have the real Jason*again.

At least, the makers go all out silly with the kills and the puns. Brodski is one of the biggest badasses in the franchise and a relief compared to some of the other names. I'm sorry, but if you have the same name as Gargamel's cat, you deserve everything you*get.

Sadly, this film is also a bit of a potboiler, keeping the fire burning until Ffreddy vs Jason gets out of development hell. Or the fact that Jason's biggest killing spree is in large part*unintentional.

More fun than Goes to hell or A new beginning,*though.

Tommy Jarvis

12-10-2022, 01:16 PM

Freddy vs. Jason 2003 ★★½

Come on, tons of fun! Let's go waste that c*cksmoker Dante in his sleep. Make him dream about working on his day off.*Nooch.

There. That's the obligatory Freddy vs Jason Mewes-joke out the*way.

I remember hating this one the first time I saw it. I'll admit that i'm a bit less negative now. It's not as bad as I thought back then, though I still can not rate it as highly as the better ones in the original*series.

Some of the Jason kills keep the charm of the original Friday-series. Some of the dream sequences can go with the original Freddy-series. Granted, they're closer to the Super Freddy-like bits, but still. I kind of like*those.

Dude. Doobie lizard.*Boo-oongg!

Okay, one more for the*road.

I think I can now put my finger on what was wrong with this one in my eyes. It tried too hard to be cool with a crowd that was not really mine. Too bro-ey for my*liking.

The characters were not as douchy as the ones in the reboot. And nobody says you have to be find Teddy Bear likable. But somehow, I'm more likely to hang out with stoner David or with Shelley and Andy than with these*snarks.

A good metal song in a movie? I'm in. Bombtrack in Natural Born Killers is the first example that comes to mind and there are plenty of others. Throw in some generic metal guitars to make it look cool? That does not work for*me.

The acting is a mixed bag. The original series was not renowned for it's acting and most of the cast do what they can with the material they're given. On the other hand, Kelly Rowland was REALLY bad. Shelly's dead-level bad. She and Lady Chong can have a Wiseau-off. Typical of the era where famous people were cast in horror*films.

But why?
Because they're famous.
That*works.

This may have been the biggest commercial success for Friday the 13th, but in my opinion, it would be a pity to end the series here. So part of me still hopes someone gets Vincente DiSanti in touch with Lebron James. So that they can together make a great Jason-movie. End on a high*note.

DeadbeatAtDawn

12-10-2022, 04:58 PM

Christmas Bloody Christmas, 2022. 7/10

Director Joe Begos

https://bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/santaa.png

The Gray Man, 2022. 7/10

Directors: Anthony Russo & Joe Russo

https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/The-Grey-Man.jpg?w=1000

Emily The Criminal, 2022. 7/10

Director: John Patton Ford

https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Aubrey-Plaza-in-Emily-the-Criminal-1.jpg

A Wounded Fawn, 2022. 6.5/10

Director: Travis Stevens

https://reelreviews.com/images/stories/2022/wounded-fawn-lg.jpg

FryeDwight

12-11-2022, 01:51 AM

THE FREEWAY KILLER (2010). Very good and creepy film regarding the exploits of William Bonin, who along with a few accomplices, killed several young men in the Los Angeles area and dumped their bodies on the side of the road hence the name. Scott Anthony Leet plays Bonin and is incredibly loathsome, especially as He begins to close in on his victims. One of the better Serial Killer films I've seen (alongside 2001's ED GEIN and HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER), there is a slightly amusing turn by Michael Rooker as the Law Enforcement Officer who tracks and busts Bonin. Considering how repellant He was in HENRY, here He is on the other side. I had never heard of this, but well worth checking out. ***1/2

Amaltheaunicorn2023

12-11-2022, 05:32 AM

[IMG]https://images-wixmMG]

Tommy Jarvis

12-11-2022, 11:47 AM

Godforsaken (2020) ★★★½

Godforsaken shows both the strength and the weakness of the style.

Granted, I was not into the whole demon possession thing, so religious found footage has a way of keeping me at an arm's length. The healing scene was a frown moment. They were trying to present some sort of happiness, but you could tell this was not going to end well. Also, the gimmick of people running and screaming whilst holding a camera is something you can only keep up for so long.

That said... when done right, found footage can be creepy as hell. And this film certainly has it's share of those moments. Wether it was the collective suicide, or the possession of Chad's mom.

Good stuff nonetheless.

uCEfLyEzE7k

Benny Loves You (2019) ★★★½

Benny Loves You is a lovely horror comedy in the vein of Critters and Leprechaun. It has the upper hand on most of them since it's more*entertaining.

It would be easy to go for a scary looking bear, but Benny has an adorable Elmo-like look, with an equally cute voice. I also love how the killer bear is actually scared of horror films.*

The first kill is pretty sweet and the humor is the type of stupid , silly fun that comes with the*territory.

Recmommend for people who like Gremlins and Critters. Maybe a double bill with*Ted?

Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) ★★½

An artsy comedy about the simple joys of life. Nothing memorable, like most day to day conversations, but it has a few funny moments. Among others transitioning Bill Murray and the awkward bit between Alfred Molina and Steve*Coogan.

And it does end on one of the coolest versions of Louie Louie*ever.

Shaun of the Dead 2004 ★★★★★

One of those rare gems that survives and even improves on every*rewatch.

So many injokes, easter eggs, foreshadowing, callbacks,... just impossible to go over the jokes. And all of this hilarity ensues in a zed word movie that shies away from neither full on gore or touching*moments.

And the front door is open!*Again!!

Cloverfield (2008) ★★★

Cloverfield, the answer to the question: What would it be like to live through a Godzilla-like Roland Emmerich*film?

Technically speaking, this counts as found footage, even though its budget is over 400 times that of The Blair Witch Project. Which is well used in order to let even the mass carnage and big explosions in the found footage*format.

It does work well in realising what it sets out to do, it does keep you on the edge of your seat at times and it realises that the biggest mistake a found footage can make is overstaying its welcome. So the running time is not so much short, but not too*long.

That said, the mix of not all that likable characters and the idea of the film does not keep not work as well as we (may have) thought back then keep it from being a genuine four star movie. It's "just" three stars*now.

classic_horror_fan

12-12-2022, 02:44 AM

This is more of a made for TV horror film than a major motion picture, but they did overall well with what they had to make this one viewable and to keep interest all the way through. It starts with a female writer first getting her book published after she caught her boyfriend cheating on her at the beginning of the Christmas holiday season, then having her aunt insisting that she come spend the holidays with her. Her aunt also has her cousin and boyfriend visit as well, only the cousin is super jealous with hatred over her book getting published, and has nothing but the wrong intents and desires for her. They also have a six foot tall wood sculpture of the nutcracker that becomes possessed by the spirit of the soldier that the original nutcracker sculpture was based on. It says that the original soldier eventually went crazy and killed two sisters before getting assassinated. They have to figure out a way to stop the curse before the spirit possessing the six foot tall wood sculpture kills everybody. It is not the greatest, but still overall well done and worth a look. There is a lot of good drama, dialogue, and well developed characters. Patrick Bergin does a good job playing the shop keeper. There is also plenty of eye opening artsy and gory scenes throughout the film. It should appeal to a good amount of those into the Christmas slasher sub-genre. ::devil::

classic_horror_fan

12-12-2022, 02:45 AM

This one is actually surprisingly good. It has a decent plot, along with great picture quality, editing, drama, dialogue, and the like. It is about a man's more updated weather tracking system detecting an oncoming tornado that the local weather forecast is unable to pick up with their system equipment, then tries to get his wife, who works for the local weather forecast team, to safetly, as well as his kids out of school to safety, only to find out his daughter was out skipping school that day. The local weather forecast is also in disbelief about the tornado he detected with his system. When the tornado does hit, a lot of people are taken by surprise... This is actually in the same format and picture quality as "Twister" from the 1990s. Those into that film should find this one enjoyable as well. ::danger::

Amaltheaunicorn2023

12-12-2022, 09:21 AM

aaaaaa

DeadbeatAtDawn

02-24-2023, 08:23 AM

Spoonful of Sugar, 2022. 7/10

Director: Mercedes Bryce Morgan

https://www.upcominghorrormovies.com/sites/default/files/spoonfulofsugar_5.jpeg

DeadbeatAtDawn

02-24-2023, 08:32 AM

Infinity Pool, 2023. 7/10

https://64.media.tumblr.com/31b737b441613a11ec811ad78f387dfb/f089d09a5d3230c5-b5/s500x750/09bf4f42fa606f3bbffb38aabdd4023e14c7b75c.gif

DeadbeatAtDawn

02-24-2023, 08:33 AM

Knock at the Cabin, 2023. 6/10

Director:

M. Night Shyamalan

https://media.tenor.com/DJPA9EsomrgAAAAd/knock-at-the-cabin-dave-bautista.gif

FryeDwight

02-27-2023, 12:45 AM

THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT (1994). Kind of odd, but funny in parts. Two Drag Queens (Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce) and a Transgender woman (Terence Stamp)travel across the Australian Outback to perform in various towns, facing setbacks, discrimination, squabbles and Human goodness to balance things out. **1/2

Tommy Jarvis

02-27-2023, 12:11 PM

Benny Loves You 2019 ★★★½

Benny Loves You is a lovely horror comedy in the vein of Critters and Leprechaun. It has the upper hand on most of them since it's more entertaining.

It would be easy to go for a scary looking bear, but Benny has an adorable Elmo-like look, with an equally cute voice. I also love how the killer bear is actually scared of horror films.

The first kill is pretty sweet and the humor is the type of stupid , silly fun that comes with the territory.

Recmommend for people who like Gremlins and Critters. Maybe a double bill with Ted?

Tommy Jarvis

02-27-2023, 12:14 PM

Coffee and Cigarettes 2003 ★★½

An artsy comedy about the simple joys of life. Nothing memorable, like most day to day conversations, but it has a few funny moments. Among others transitioning Bill Murray and the awkward bit between Alfred Molina and Steve Coogan.

And it does end on one of the coolest versions of Louie Louie ever.

Shaun of the Dead 2004 ★★★★★

One of those rare gems that survives and even improves on every rewatch.

So many injokes, easter eggs, foreshadowing, callbacks,... just impossible to go over the jokes. And all of this hilarity ensues in a zed word movie that shies away from neither full on gore or touching moments.

And the front door is open! Again!!

Cloverfield 2008 ★★★

Cloverfield, the answer to the question: What would it be like to live through a Godzilla-like Roland Emmerich film?

Technically speaking, this counts as found footage, even though its budget is over 400 times that of The Blair Witch Project. Which is well used in order to let even the mass carnage and big explosions in the found footage format.

It does work well in realising what it sets out to do, it does keep you on the edge of your seat at times and it realises that the biggest mistake a found footage can make is overstaying its welcome. So the running time is not so much short, but not too long.

That said, the mix of not all that likable characters and the idea of the film does not keep not work as well as we (may have) thought back then keep it from being a genuine four star movie. It's "just" three stars now.

Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature 2001 ★★

A pretty unmemorable creature feature. One of the producers was the late Stan Winston, so that at least explained why the transformation scene and some of the special effects were decent.

The story, the characters and the acting, however, were pretty bland.

Earth vs. the Spider 2001 ★★½

A bit of an exadurated title for this creature feature about a boy whose attempt at becoming a superhero turns sour. He takes more like the neighbourhood instead of the world.

Nothing much memorable, but still enjoyable for what it's worth. Dan Ackroyd was kind of okay as the suffering cop. And the special effects were somewhere between amateurish and a charm similar to the creature features of the forties and fifties.

Choose or Die 2022 ★★★★

Using the retro game as a basis, Choose or Die manages to create an intense supernatural atmosphere where you are in a dreamworld. In that dreamworld, everything can kill you. Everyone is a part and the game is everywhere.

I enjoyed this a lot. It's good stuff. The viewer is sucked into an intensity reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby and - maybe on the nose as reference, but still - The Game.

One of the better recent productions. Check it out.

Tommy Jarvis

02-27-2023, 12:17 PM

Crimes of the Future 2022 ★★★★★

Cronenberg is back, and how.

How can a movie at the same time be both gracefully beautiful and utterly repulsive?

Both mistifying and and fascinating?

The detached and sometimes callous feel has hints of Von Trier and at times even Blade Runner - the scene where Mortensen kisses Kristen Stewart - but again, it also is typical Cronenberg.

And of course, there is the exquisite beauty of the gore.

Brilliant stuff.

Diary of the Dead 2007 ★★½

In itself, the idea of a found footage zombie flick makes sense.

The idea is overall worked out not too bad and it has good, original kills.

Sadly, it gets too silly at times and the social commentary is too on the nose. The subtlety from Dawn is far away.

Overall entertaining(ish), but it could have been a lot better.

Wake up and Die 2011 ★★★½

When I started watching this, I was expecting something torture porn-like. To my surprise, it never really veered into that territory. At best just a tad.

This is more about the relation and the tension between the two main/only characters. After a one night stand, a man and a woman end up in a story that reminds me of Source Code, where the main character only has a short time span in order to avoid a horrible fate.

A risky move and maybe it did not work out perfectly well 100 percent of the time. But there is a lot to like about this one. For one, it takes guts to go down this risky road. And the film does a few things very well.

The story does a very good job as it unveils, drip feeding us bits of info that later become relevant. The two characters thus become like onions, with each reiteration of the same scene peeling off another layer.

The actress does a great job at conveying the terror she is overwhelmed with at the start and you can clearly tell and appreciate the arc her character goes through. While the male character has a few nice nods to Psycho weaved in, the male character is not all that memorable. It's easy to imagine actors who did better psychopaths (Bale, Hauer, Hopkins,...), but this is solid for what it is. No more, no less.

A fun ride, though. Three and three quarter stars. Check it out.

How to Make a Monster 2001 ★★

We follow a group of nerds trying to get a computer game together. There's the manager, the cool black guy and the scrawny nerd.

And hardcore (yes, that's a real name here)? Meh... still like him better than Triple H. I mean Steinbrenner. I mean shave those sideburns!

It's a noughties horror with lame kills and hardly any real gore. The build is up is dull and the reveal is lame. Clea DuVall as a good final girl earns the second star. But barely.

Villains 2019 ★★★½

I really liked Villains as a whole, so I want to give it four stars. But I cannot for the life of me make up my mind on what this movie wants to be. And that falling between two chairs (instead of making a clear choice) keeps me from doing so.

Does it want to be horror? Well, it certainly has bits of that. A bit of that vibe of how seemingly perfect people can be completely messed up underneath. And you do care for Mickey and Jules. Which is mostly due to Maika Monroe delivering a great performance as the lively, resourceful Jules. The most memorable thing about Bill Skarsgaard's performance is him rocking a Buscemi stache and mister Pink-ish look. The passage with the police officer has you at the edge of your seat and the dinner scene and the bit with the doll are too dark to be "just" a comedy.

Does it want to be a comedy? That certainly works. From the gawky, clumsy robbery scene over the weird bit with the tongue stud (which for some reason reminded me of the goofy action in films like Romancing The Stone) to the bit channeling Di Caprio on qualudes.

The couple fall somewhere in between. Jeffrey Donovan is funny with his ascott, his posh demeanor and his Southern-ish accent. And Kyra Sedgwick does a good job being both scary and sad at the same time. Both are damaged and dangerous at the same time.

For people who like their films a bit on the oddball side.

DeadbeatAtDawn

02-28-2023, 02:50 PM

Swallowed, 2022. 7/10

Director: Carter Smith

https://www.scifinow.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Swallowed-1-616x370.jpg

Huesera: The Bone Woman, 2022. 7/10

Director: Michelle Garza Cervera.

https://horrorbrains.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Huesera-The-Bone-Woman-2022-Poster-2..jpg

DeadbeatAtDawn

03-02-2023, 05:36 PM

Unwelcome, 2022. 6,5/10

Director: Jon Wright

https://www.allhorror.com/public/uploads/2021/11/unwelcome-2022-3.jpg

FryeDwight

03-03-2023, 12:40 AM

SMOKE AND MIRRORS: THE STORY OF TOM SAVINI (2015) . A pretty good biography on Tom Savini, the famed Make-Up Artist (as well as an Actor, Stuntman, Director, author), focusing on his early years up to the present.

I became a fan after FRIDAY, THE 13th and especially DAWN OF THE DEAD. And reading interviews with him (mostly in FANGORIA), He seemed like such a fun upbeat cool kind of guy. So a little disappointed when I met him at some cons . Certainly polite, but seemed almost as if He didn't want to be there. I got an understanding of what may have caused his behavior after watching this. This is worth seeing and can be found on SHUDDER>. ***1/2

DeadbeatAtDawn

03-08-2023, 07:01 AM

Nocebo, 2022. 7/10

Directed by Lorcan Finnegan

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ3Nj37Y-j8ZXwnocGPXgCJcrCafsZ__UoGlVEYtZUJztD2OHFqsYjC3R_O GPxWCyoUe0w&usqp=CAU

The Winter Witch, 2022. 5/10

Directed by Richard John Taylor

https://www.dreadcentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Winter-Witch-The-Curse-Of-Frau-Perchta-still-imagesScreenshot-2022-06-07-at-06.40.49-568x319.jpg

FryeDwight

03-10-2023, 01:47 AM

COCKNEYS VS ZOMBIES (2012). Two bumbling Brothers, a Cousin, an inept friend and a seriously anti-social acquaintance plan a bank robbery to help save their Grandfathers Rest Home, which is in danger of being demolished. Naturally, things go FUBAR and it doesn't help that a zombie epidemic has broken out in London.

Although this has a SHAUN OF THE DEAD vibe, it's not bad and I found most of the humor comes from the Seniors defending themselves, especially Honor Blackman (Pussy Galore herself in her last film) and Alan Ford, who was probably born snarling and contentious. ***

DeadbeatAtDawn

03-11-2023, 03:59 PM

FryeDwight

03-18-2023, 01:25 AM

IF I LEAVE HERE TOMORROW: A FILM ABOUT LYNYRD SKYNYRD (2018). Very good documentary of what I feel to be the definitive Southern Rock band. A lot of history, old interviews and performance footage (including the 1976 Knebworth Festival when they went on the Vanity ramp that was meant solely for The Rolling Stones) and of course (and sadly) the site of the October 1977 plane crash that truly ended it all. Obviously more for fans, but a good history, although I wish they had more focus on the aftermath (such as Rossington-Collins Band) other than the endless tour with replacement members. ****

Amaltheaunicorn2023

03-18-2023, 03:53 AM

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Sculpt

03-19-2023, 04:41 PM

Luther: The Fallen Sun {2023} 7.5/10

Directed by Jamie Payne

So what now?

https://www.bt.com/content/dam/bt/portal/images/articles/tv/tv-film-luther-fallen-sun-netflix-2.jpg/jcr:content/renditions/landscape-desktop.764.430.jpg

I just saw this with a buddy of mine. He was a big fan of Luther's first season largely because of the role of the serial killing anti-hero. I was impressed with it too.

This Luther film, I thought was ok. Has some fine scene sequences. Overall, I found the story and ending a bit conventional, run-of-the-mill. Also had one or more, mostly inconsequential, plot holes... like who does/doesn't survive in icy water.

Also, it's development of Luther, or lack thereof, really crippled the film. What he does defines him, no doubt, but it's very much an 'looking from the outside' affair. There's no hint he's changed in any way as a result of his experiences in the film.

The writer's of Luther would have done well to bring-back the red-headed helper; and introduced Luther deeply working through the controversial oversteps in his police-work.

I'd give Luther a 6.5, or perhaps a 7 for being competent.

DeadbeatAtDawn

03-21-2023, 05:52 PM

Freeze, 2022. 6/10

Directed by Charlie Steeds

https://i0.wp.com/scariesthings.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Freeeze-Deep-One.webp?fit=980%2C400&ssl=1

Children of the Corn, 2023. 5/10

Directed by Kurt Wimmer

https://horrorobsessive.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/children-of-the-corn-trailer.jpg

Consecration, 2023. 8/10

Directed by Christopher Smith

https://screenanarchy.com/assets_c/2023/02/Consecration%20IFC-thumb-860x860-88563.png

FryeDwight

03-24-2023, 12:16 AM

VALENTINE (2002). This reminds Me a lot of early 80's fare and about as good as most of them were; ie not very. If there were any messages in these films, one of them would be to be careful of Your past , as it may return to bite You! **

Amaltheaunicorn2023

03-25-2023, 04:28 AM

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tommy Jarvis

03-25-2023, 11:58 PM

1408 2007 ★★★★

I loved every minute of it. Thanks toJordi Ostir for giving me the idea to go in for a rewatch. Because this is a great film, a great film and certainly one of the best King-adaptations out there.

The build up alone is amazing. The tension between the cheeky, smarmy writer and the maître d' is palpatable and makes you wonder if anyone does exasperation better than Samuel L Jackson.

But when he gets to the room... holy moly. Everything is done to perfection. The radio that starts playing by itself, giving a great callback to Poltergeist. Or the references to the people who died and/or killed themselves in there. Or how the room seems capable of reading your mind and then turning your biggest fears and your deepest traumas on you and using them to drive you crazy.

Or even the jump scares. Normally a tired trope which only serves to annoy people and get an eyeroll when done by less imaginative filmmakers.

1408 sucks you in, wether you want to or not and a lot of the credit goes to John Cusack. Carrying a movie on your own is a most difficult task for any actor, but Cusack pulls it off wonderfully. Making you completely buy his descent into madness.

The only point of criticism I could imagine was that you could see the end of the hallucination coming. But the whammy with the tape player makes up for that.

Mama 2013 ★★★

A Guillermo Del Toro production and it shows. It does have a certain terrifying supernatural atmosphere. And director Andy Muschetti does a good job bringing it to the screen.

It has a lot of qualities. The moment in the opening bit with the father intending to kill his daughter is touching, as is the separation between the two sisters.

Once the girls move in with the main characters, the story gets going. It certainly has scary moments, especually with Jessica Chastain's character. A few moments and a bit of an underwhelming ending kept from four stars.

Maybe it will win the fourth star on a rewatch. Who knows?

Tommy Jarvis

03-26-2023, 12:06 AM

Teenage Caveman 2002 ★

Dull as hell and annoying. I turned if off after about 35-40 minutes.

Final Destination 3 2006 ★★½

A rewatch because... because I have a Netflix-subscription and I have to make it count. Plus, it has Mary Elizabeth Winstead and that's also a plus.

Nothing memorable, but a decent entry in the series. The premonition is worked out well with cool practical effects and the kills all have a good dose of over the top of whoa! ho ho hooooo gross out feel to it.

1922 2017 ★★★

Let's get the negative out of the way first. This is no Green Mile or Carrie.

But it's entertaining and it shows a different side to the great writer. While it does have the typical King-ghosties, it also shows his aptitude at writing a tragedy. And tragedy it is, indeed. With Thomas Jane making a decent narrator.

Good stuff for King-fans.

Godzilla 2014 ★★

I'm no Godzilla-connaisseur, but it does seem to take an awful long time for us to see any actual Godzilla.

It's not as if the human characters were all that captivating. Aaron Taylor-Johnson goes from Kick-Ass to Blando McBlandia, and the others humans follow suit. Leading to a truck load of military types doing shouty stuff in bursty bits. And we could have done without the Bryan Cranston-storyline all together.

The clash between Godzilla and the Muto's is spectacular, but the movie cuts away too quickly before it becomes interesting.

Crimi Clowns: De Movie 2013 ★★★★

Crimi clowns started off as a dark sitcom. The protagonists? A family that performs as clowns by day. By night, they work as burglars and robbers.And here, they made their big screen debut.

With its dark humor and found footage style, it goes perfectly in the same bin as Man Bites Dog (which is even referenced at one point in its original French title) or the similar styled series called Matrioshki.

For fans of Goodfellas or some of the gangster stuff Guy Ritchie did like Lock, stock and two smoking barrels. Grittier? Maybe. But entertaining as hell. That's for sure.

Final Destination 2000 ★★★

FD gave me the idea to go for a rewatch of the series.

This turned out to be more enjoyable than the first time in the theatres. The premonition was set up nicely and the kills were cool. Maybe not as gory as in the sequels, but pretty good. And of course, there was the "Carter, you dick" running gag is good for a smirk or a giggle.

Devon Sawa and Ali Larter were doing well with the material they were given. But Sean William Scott was just rehashing a Stifler-vibe and the rest was forgettable. Apart from of course Tony Todd being a total badass as usual.

And this X-Files fan feels a bit guilty for not recognising Modell. How did I miss that?

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 2003 ★★★★½

In terms of food, this movie can be both an epic seven course meal or a bag of Dick's. And both are equally delicious.

Just what I needed for tonight's viewing.

Ghost Ship 2002 ★★★

This movie is mostly known for its gruesome opening scene. Funny thing is: it immediately drew me in, but not because of the reason that's shown in all the Youtube-videos and lists mentioning it. It was because it opened with a sensuous rendition of Senza Fine, an Italian song that I up until now only heard in a version by - of all people - Mike Patton. Hearing a woman sing it and the inevitableness of what was coming got me hooked.

Don't get me wrong. This film has it's qualities, no doubt about that. The opening scene topped with the steel chord bit was set up well. Some of the bits with Julianna Margulies and the little girl were fittingly creepy, especially the pool bit. The comraderie between the crew was more credible than, say, Alien vs Predator.

The overall atmosphere was spooky enough to keep you intrigued and going. And the ending had a bit of a beauty to it as well. Ah, the lost souls are finally free. Can you consider this cheesy? Yes. But I'm leaning towards the positive here.

Then why no four stars? Because there are enough silly bits to keep from going that high. For one, there's Karl Urban and Ron Eldard in pretty much the worst Jackass skit ever.

Or Isaiah Washington's character. I cannot be the only one cynical enough to see a character talking non stop about his fiancé at home and immediately think "you are so dead". Him getting killed by following his little Isaiah rather than his brain? It can both add to your experience and take away from it.

The exposition at the end and the whammy after the all's well on a stretcher bit. Bit on the fence about that, as I am about more things in this movie. I get why they did it, but ....

Then last but not least, there's Gabriel Byrne. A man ingrained in cinephiles' memory as Dean Keaton. A man with the classy voice and ditto looks to play in the same league as Colin Firth. Starring in films that compete for the high prizes in Cannes, Berlin, Hollywood,... Someone who does these films the same way Alan Rickman did Dogma.

I'm sure the man is perfectly happy with his career as is - and many would kill for it - but even here, he has a few moments that make you wonder "what if...?"

Oh, and somehow, I thought it was kind of fun to hear a bit of Mudvayne in a movie like this. Good band, that.

Recommended for ghosty people looking for a popcorn evening.

A Quiet Place 2018 ★★★★

It was a beautiful movie.

It's horror for family people. About doing everything within your power to help and protect your family, even if they do not notice most of the time. Even sacrificing yourself when the occasion calls for it. And what parent cannot relate to the terror of having to give birth in silence?

Also: Can we mark this as one of the last times in cinema history that fireworks were useful?

Tommy Jarvis

03-26-2023, 12:11 AM

Villa Captive 2011 ★★★

As a straight up thriller, it has its merits.

The story comes along at a fairly good pace. It keeps you intrigued and manages to make you care at least a bit about the main protagonists.

A torture porn would have gone more explicit on the gore and made the revenge kills more elaborate.

Tommy Jarvis

03-26-2023, 12:14 AM

Incantation 2022 ★★★★★

I thoroughly loved this one.

It's spooky and creepy and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

I loved the flipping back and forth between the current day and the past, delving deeper into what happened in the "place where you can not come" and how it still affects Li Ronan to this day.

The death scenes, the gore, the jump scares, the fear,... Not making any predictions on how it will age, but right now... They all work magnificently.

Well recommended.

Transformers 2007 ★

At least this proves the genius of Ryan George. If you can make something funny out of this dreck, you have some kind of brilliance at your disposal.

Wow wow wow wow... wow.

Tommy Jarvis

03-26-2023, 12:30 AM

2012 2009 ★★★

Make no mistake about it, this is hella dumb. And overly sentimental. And stereotypical as hell. And a few other things. And as far as Oliver Platt's character goes... Why are we supposed to hate him again?

That said, together with Independance Day and The Day After Tomorrow, this proves one thing: Emmerich does dumb well. Or at least better than Bay does.

Pair this with Cusack and Peet pulling off credible action leads. Or Woody Harrelson. You can drop Woody anywhere and he does a solid job.

That combination makes it at least enjoyable. Enjoyable popcorn trash.

The Wasteland 2021 ★★

El Paramo did not do much for me.

Too many jumpscares - granted, the I spy bit paid off - and too much run of the mill ghostiness.

For fans of supernatural films, but not much more than that.

Maniac 2012 ★★★★

Because it's completely filmed in pov, pretty much all of this movie relies on the performance by Elijah Wood. Apart from a few bloody moments where director Franck Khalfoun and writer Alexandre Aja (High Tension) get to live out their inner gorehound.

Weirdly, it was made more impressive by seeing and hearing the childlike enthusiasm with which Elijah talks about his craft and his love for his job.

While his performance relies heavily on his voice, arm movements and things like heavy breathing, it's not really completely like the voice acting in cartoons (or at least it does not seem that way).

His performance and the story also offer an insight into his character's torment and how his soul is torn apart by both the past and later the present. But right before you start sympathizing with him, let alone feel sorry for him, you are reminded every time that, by the end of the day, he is a psychopathic killer.

I liked the Anna subplot for several reasons. On first sight, it keeps the movie from becoming repetitive. Together with the dating scene, it also shows how Frank has the opportunity to connect with women. But at the key moment, the demons in his head keep him from further connecting.

Finally, this might be odd, but in a way, this movie can perhaps create more goodwill for something like #metoo than some of the more "aware" films that came later. It shows how Frank is capable of a (somewhat) normal conversation. Even more, it shows how you, as a woman, can have a pleasant evening with a man, or even build up a relationship based on trust. But at every moment, there is that possible fear on how this "nice guy" can turn on you at any given moment and become a threat.

Final conclusion: it's definetily as good as the original by William Lustig, if not better. Well recommended.

DeadHeads 2011 ★★

It was good for a few chuckles and at least they switched the generic metal for generic indie rock. That's... something.

Other than that, the characters are too generic and cartoony to be funny. The only enjoyable ones are Emily - Annie Potts meets Hooks from Police Academy - and tonight's Ken Foree, who is the closest thing to playing it straight. And zombies can kiss girls now, because... reasons.

Shrek 2001 ★★★½

Believe it or not, but tonight brought two doses of John Lithgow. (The day after being the other one)

Some of the lines and references have perhaps not aged that well. I mean, how many kids still know the Macarena?

But as a modern day fairytale, it still holds up. It's has enough good jokes and cool action pieces to keep you involved in the story. Very entertaining.

Mike Myers shines as Shrek and, in my opinion, Eddie Murphy has his best role since Coming To America.

Amaltheaunicorn2023

03-26-2023, 08:18 AM

[IMG]https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/70834e96-067e-42b9-8c26-8fe104d3fbaa/ddjnrnl-8a0fb566-9744-4de6-b4ee-0379c3cfffdc.gif?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJ IUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQz NzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZT BkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6 W1t7InBhdGgiOIMG]

hammerfan

03-27-2023, 04:28 AM

Boston Strangler (2023)

On Hulu, regarding the case of the Boston Strangler in the 60s. I thought it was very well done. Stars Keira Knightley and Carrie Coon as the investigative journalists who broke the story.

Amaltheaunicorn2023

03-27-2023, 12:40 PM

[IMG]ht

FryeDwight

03-31-2023, 02:16 AM

BATTLEDOGS (2013).>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>SPOILERS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SYFY offering that isn't perfect, but miles beyond what they normally offer. A young journalist (Ariana Richards from JURASSIC PARK) is bitten by a wolf in Canada and while in NYC airport transforms into a werewolf causing mucho destruction. While he and others are held in protective custody, a Army General (Dennis Haysbert is great here) gets the notion that aggressive powerful werewolves would be a great addition to our fighting forces. Things only get more dicey as the werewolves escape and plunge downtown Manhattan into chaos.
Script is silly and the werewolves could be better, but I can honestly say BD was enjoyable and worth a watch. ***

Tommy Jarvis

04-02-2023, 12:25 PM

Lurking 2022 ★★½

A slow burner that picks up towards the end.

The first part focuses on the razzle dazzle filmmaker Kurt Duplass (apparently a nod to Creep) and his reluctant partner John.

It's only when they find a walkie talkie and get in touch with "Travis" that things get intense. The bit in the tunnel is intense and the part with the "finder" is well done.

Have I seen better in the genre? Sure. But it's still a nice addition to your collection.

Critters 3 1991 ★★★

DiCaprio (to his father): I hate you! I wish you were dead!
Crites: Well... THAT can be arranged.

The perfect dose of cornball fun you could expect from a horror comedy sequel. Not as out there and gory as the first two and the cover pulls a bit of a Jason Takes Manhattan. But overall, it's still fun, with all the silliness they have going on.

The Critters look a bit more sneaky than in the first two installments. But they still get in the same food related shenanigans. And we get a West Ham United-Critter, who's forever blowing bubbles.

The characters are as silly as you can expect, but still enjoyable. I like how Marcia is portrayed like a take charge kind of character, even though she gets into her share of silliness. And DiCaprio only gets the "annoying kid coming around"-arc.

Patient Seven 2016 ★★★

I went in with low expectations, but Patient Seven turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

Doctor Michael Ironside going through mental patients supplies us with the background for the separate stories. My personal favorites are British Dexter and Icelandic zombies. The twist at the end of the haunting story was pretty sweet too.

Near the end, it pulls an Identity-like switcheroo on us, except that this one is more predictable. Which keeps it from going beyond entertaining. But entertaining nonetheless. And available on YT.

Hostel 2005 ★★★★

I fed my inner gorehound today.

Eli Roth deserves credit for bringing gore back to the horror mainstream after a slew of PG 13 horror films. Sure, Paxton may not be very likable, but then again, that's not really the point either.

But the pay off worked and that's the point more than anything else.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later 1998 ★★★½

The opening kills are both entertaining and insightful. Where Jason-fans appreciate the creativity with gardening tools, Michael usually tends to stick to traditional stabbing. Which is why the ice skate skill is a nice switch from the usual.

You would think this would be bland and forgettable, but it's actually pretty entertaining. Steve Miner brought his experience from Friday to the table. The characters are okay. While the kids have bits of sarcasm here and there - the seed for the 2000s snark is perhaps already present - but for me, the balance tends a bit more towards the positive side of the line. And the funniest moment is the scene with Janet Leigh and Jamie Lee Curtis, where the prior talks about getting "maternal".

Quite a bunch of talent in this one, mind you: Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, LL Cool J,... How you rate them individually is a matter of taste, but they all went to do big projects. Hartnett shows his potential as a heart throb and LL kind of goes back and forth between comic relief and black Ben Tramer.

The atmosphere is definetily present. Best example being the shot on all the box covers of Laurie Strode and Michael Myers with just a door between them. The kills are okay too, though some are offscreen. The final confrontation between Laurie and Michael makes for a worthy ending to the franchise.

The Redwood Massacre 2014 ★

The most fun about this one was trying to pinpoint the accent(s).

Are these Scots? Or Englishmen trying to sound Scottish? Or was there perhaps a Manchester accent in there as well? Or somewhere else up north? Or Irish?

As far as the rest is concerned, the keyword is bland. Bland plot, bland kills and bland gore. Bland across the board.

Though I will give credit for the mask. Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow meets The Punisher. That looked kind of cool.

The Purge 2013 ★★★

People reviewing have been pretty harsh on this one, claiming it was nothing more than just a home invasion movie. So is is that or does it offer relevant social commentary?

I on my end would be somewhere in between. I would like to point out that it does hint at the consequences. Think of the man describing his loss in the end credits. Or the fact that the homeless man that the kids are chasing is a black man. Hinting at an excuse for racists to "do their thing".

I also liked the idea of looking at things like the guy wanting to kill his boss, or the envious neighbours. In my opinion, this sort of petty motives for killing are probably a lot closer to what a real life purge would be like. Callous businessfolk and ditto politicians would be safe, but that one guy who cuts me off in traffic? Oh, he's getting it. Or the dad standing in the way between me and my girlfriend.

Or of course the conflict the Sandinds find themselves in. Do we take in the homeless man? Do we hand him over to the killers?

This is often done not too subtly, but then again, subtlety is not really Platinum Dunes' strong suit.

Are things to be said about The Purge? Certainly. Pretty much everybody agrees on the intriguing starting point AND that more could have been done with it.

The story focuses too much on the Sandins alone. In order to really do social commentary, you could have focused on more families, or more parts of the Sandins. Aunts, cousins, grandparents,... A few live in Canada, a few live in poverty,... The runtime would be a bit longer, but with only 85 minutes, that should not be a problem. You can even keep the subplots about the jealous neighbours and flesh them out more.

The characters are a set of clichés: the self made man, the trust fund brats going out to do some killing, the weird son (who turns out to be the soft one),... So yeah, they could have used more nuance and subtlety, but like I said before...

That said,I would like to end on a positive note. This one may not have fully lived up to its potential, but it did open the door for the sequels to do so.

Tommy Jarvis

04-02-2023, 12:29 PM

Cub 2014 ★★★½

Cub (or Welp in Dutch) is a Belgian horror flick on a group of boy scouts who are with a monster best described as Mowgli going off the tracks. And then escalating quickly.

The film gives a lot of attention to the boy scout culture: the group feel, the peer pressure, the discipline, the bullying,... I myself have never been a boy scout, so I cannot really relate to the group dynamics. Is that what keeps me from giving it four stars? Maybe.

Props to the actors for their performances, though. Titus De Voogdt and Stef Aerts are believable in their respective roles as the "decent" scouts leader and the total douchebag with the dog as an extension for his dick. Though I cannot see Stef Aerts without thinking of Wesley "uhnts uhnts uhnts" Biets.

The ingenious nature of the kills makes up for the relatively small death toll. With nice bits of gore like the stab in the eye. And at least Balou gets it good and proper. Best kill in the film in my opinion.

The reveal at the end is not that big of a shock, despite the fact that the character does it to pretty much the only the one who was somewhat nice to him. And the final shot of Jasmijn is excellently done.

Tommy Jarvis

04-02-2023, 12:33 PM

Destination: Infestation 2007 ★★

Between Ants on a plane (suitable, since it's clearly a Snakes on a plane-rip-off), Swarm (lame) and Destination: Infestation (lame), this sure has a few different titles floating around.

It's not great, but not as terrible as I expected beforehand.

It ticks off some of the beats in SOAP like the main character getting with the single mom. Bratty/cheeky child included here. A few douchy characters who get their come uppance in the end, the pilot who is two days away from retirement, the scientist quarterbacking from the ground,... Having recently seen a report on the plane ride from hell, I wonder how the David Arquette-lookalike got so bombed during a 3 hour flight to be denied service (an annoying red thread throughout the movie), but these movies are not really about plot consistency.

The cast is pretty much what you expect from this type of movie. Jessalyn Gilsig is solid as the entymologist Dr. Ross, but Antonio Sabato Jr. is miles away from the charisma that Samuel L Jackson has.

Greta 2018 ★★★★

Watching this one reminded of a joke Bill Maher did on Anthony Hopkins: "I'm not afraid of any danger I can avoid by taking the stairs two steps at a time."

I was first intrigued by the trailer, then it kind of went off my radar and resurfaced after having it recommended somewhere recently. I must say, it did not disappoint.

It starts with a good idea about how a random object and a random act of kindness can get you to meet a new person. But then, there is more to this person than you have bargained for. The chills particularly come towards the end when all the foreshadowing pieces fall together. It's all perfectly set in New York, a city where a lot of people are lonely and where the wheels of justice can grind very slowly.

The ending itself is a tad predictable. Once the scene starts, you pretty much immediately catch on as to what the reveal will be and I wonder how the ever alert Greta did not catch on.

That said, I must add that the reveal was done in style. Don't get me wrong, you are caught up in the action and on the edge of your seat, rooting for the characters.

Credit for that certainly goes to the actors. Isabelle Huppert delivers a strong performances as the titular Greta. At first, a sweet, gentle woman looking for company. Huppert does a very good job portraying the madness and sadism underneath. Wonder where she got her inspiration. Cathy Bates in Misery? Real life cases?

When it comes to Chloe Grace Moretz... Not sure what to make of her performance. She has very good moments (she can certainly do frightened and you completely buy Frances and Erika being friends), but I was somehow never completely convinced. I understand from other film fans that her performances are a bit hit or miss. Where do you stand? Maika Monroe on the other hand was amazing as Erika. Her character was set up perfectly fine and she aced it.

Four stars. Check it out.

Tommy Jarvis

04-02-2023, 12:35 PM

Lilith 2018 ★★

Bit of a revenge-story today.

Felissa Rose stars as the avenging angel/demon Lilith, catching up with and torturing all sorts of scummy men in a collection of separate stories.

The score and the gore are okay. The coherence, however, leaves a bit to be desired. The combination of different actresses playing Lilith and the constant switching between stories makes the experience a bit confusing.

It also does not help that the delivery in the demon-bits (in the overarching) is often a bit less Exorcist and a bit more Ten inch mutant ninja turtles.

For fans of Felissa Rose or if you like torture porn.

Braindead 1992 ★★★★★

Peter Jackson delivers a splatstick masterpiece, building on the last 30 minutes of Bad Taste. Nearly every scene is brilliant in its glorious silliness. Between I kick ass for the lord and Party's over, it's a veritable feast of hilarious dialogue and quotable oneliners.

Some of the top scenes have an over the topness and cruelty that remind me of Roald Dahl, with buckets of blood added, of course. Speaking of blood, seeing Lionel slipping over the blood also has hints of the Keystone Cops in it. So is Braindead Roald Dahl meets Eli Roth? Or would that be silly?

The opening scene already makes it pretty clear that the story is of lesser importance here. Yes, Lionel starts off as a wimp and has some sort of character arc. (Then again, when you see the greasers who call him a freak... I(!) am boozing in a graveyard and pissing on a grave, what are YOU doing?) And at the end he stands up to his controlling mother and eliminates all the remaining zombies. Credit where credit is due, uncle Douchwig McRaperface gets in his fair share of zombiekills too.

That's all secondary to the priest doing martial arts, the ear in the pudding, the zombie with the lightbulb head, the mohawk zombie baby,... It's a horror comedy and all you need to do is soak up the gore and cackle your ass off at the silliness. And I loved every second of it.

Braindead 1992 ★★★★★

Peter Jackson delivers a splatstick masterpiece, building on the last 30 minutes of Bad Taste. Nearly every scene is brilliant in its glorious silliness. Between I kick ass for the lord and Party's over, it's a veritable feast of hilarious dialogue and quotable oneliners.

Some of the top scenes have an over the topness and cruelty that remind me of Roald Dahl, with buckets of blood added, of course. Speaking of blood, seeing Lionel slipping over the blood also has hints of the Keystone Cops in it. So is Braindead Roald Dahl meets Eli Roth? Or would that be silly?

The opening scene already makes it pretty clear that the story is of lesser importance here. Yes, Lionel starts off as a wimp and has some sort of character arc. (Then again, when you see the greasers who call him a freak... I(!) am boozing in a graveyard and pissing on a grave, what are YOU doing?) And at the end he stands up to his controlling mother and eliminates all the remaining zombies. Credit where credit is due, uncle Douchwig McRaperface gets in his fair share of zombiekills too.

That's all secondary to the priest doing martial arts, the ear in the pudding, the zombie with the lightbulb head, the mohawk zombie baby,... It's a horror comedy and all you need to do is soak up the gore and cackle your ass off at the silliness. And I loved every second of it.

Primal Fear 1996 ★★★½

This movie is mostly carried by the actors. Or rather, one actor. Edward Norton's excells as Aaron/Roy in a performance that earned him a well deserved Oscar nomination. And there is of course the ever present charm of Richard Gere, which is not to be ignored.

The story is a solid courtroom drama. You can denounce the clichés like the crooked poltician/real estate developer and the diddler priest, but it flowed along quite nicely and some of the beats were brought to the table well, like the backs to the wall moment after the first session and the eureka moment before the deciding testimony. And of course the twist. The look on Gere's face when he pieces it together out is fantastic.

Recommended for fans of courtoom drama, people who can handle the truth.

Tommy Jarvis

04-02-2023, 12:38 PM

Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 2022 ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers.

Netflix documentaries sometimes get a bad rep. This one has its flaws too, but it's certainly worth watching.

Over the course of three episodes, you get a detailed image of what went wrong in the months leading up to Woodstock and the climax at the festival itself.

The seeds were planted in the aftermath of Woodstock 94 and the days leading up to Woodstock 99. 94 did not make enough money, so they wanted 99 to compensate for that by cutting costs and maximizing profits. To subcontractors who inevitably did not deliver. Who woulda thunk it?

This leads to the type of price gouging and bad service that only served to (further) infuriate the crowd.

A crowd that over the course of the festival became
- drugged up
- dehydrated
- undershadowed - is that a word?/sunburnt
- taken for a ride (and not in a good way)

Agression released by Limp Bizkit, escalating in a night of debauchery, a lot of consensual sex, and a lot of non consensual sex. The security was a joke (because of course, cost cutting), so nobody had the authority to stop it.

And then the third day. Between an in hindsight infuriating press conference (everything is well Madame Marquis), the infected water, a surprise super headliner who was not there,... And the candles... Oh my goodness, the candles,... As well intentioned as it may have been... if the organisation had any idea of what was going on in the field, they would have realized the boneheaded nature of this idea. The saddest part is that, at first, it seems to go well. But then of course all hell breaks loose. And then a celebration of peace and love ends with the organisation barricading their own offices and having to call in the goddamn national guard.

The musicians only get a short bit of speaking time and only Fatboy Slim does a bit of introspection. Jonathan Davis is right about security, but how much has he reflected on his own part in all of this? And where was Fred Durst? Why did this tough guy nu metal rapper did not have the time or courage to answer a few tough questions?

Sadly, the people in the organisation rarely show any intropsection themselves or admit much guilt to what happened.

The only silver lining is that some of the women in the documentary credited the events for planting the seed of ideas and thoughts what would later become the metoo-movement. Other than that, it's just a very sad story.

Death Dive 2015 ★★★½

Death Dive – or Le Scaphandrier, as it is known in its native Quebec – is a bit of an odd offering in that in it starts with your standard slasher to then throw in elements from monster films/creature features and a bit of zombies towards the end.

The story revoves around retrieving a boat named Princess of the north. (Just for the way the characters say this name, I recommend watching it in the original French version. And for those hating subtitles: suck it up.) A monster appears from the ship, killing everyone out to retrieve/steal its contents and/or the possessions of the original passengers. Wearing what is quite possibly the least comfortable killer outfit ever: a diving costume.

The kills are done nicely gory. The second one has a shade of the original My Bloody Valentine over it and the researcher/vintage horror fan gets a kill not unlike Axel in The Final Chapter. On the upside: we do see the consequences. On the downside: the big moment is more than once offscreen.

That said, this movie has other things going for it too like he two diving suits in the researcher kill (you'll see when you see) or a shot that has to be a nod to Quint from Jaws. The ghosts haunt the car engine, putting a bit of a spin on the “car won't start”-trope. And I won't psoil it, but the ending has a touching moment that gives the killer the sort of extra touch that sets this movie apart from the standard.

Check it out.

Evidence 2011 ★½

Evidence is a pretty uneventfull found footage that does not bring many new things to the table. The first forty minutes are the typical stuff about friends going on a trip. One of them needs to record everything for some vague reason about a "documentary". The group falls apart and bicker amongst each other.

Then it makes a sharp turn in the second half, but it does not add anything apart from a few jump scares. Just a lot of shaky cam, sceraming and running around.

The rest? Bla bla conspiracy bla bla secret government project gone awry. Bla bla shouty bits bla bla bursty bursts. Something vague about zombies... who cares... something something another jump scare... At times, it just feels like a dull level of Doom.

FryeDwight

04-08-2023, 03:16 AM

[QUOTE=Tommy Jarvis;1051282]Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 2022 ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers.

Netflix documentaries sometimes get a bad rep. This one has its flaws too, but it's certainly worth watching.

Over the course of three episodes, you get a detailed image of what went wrong in the months leading up to Woodstock and the climax at the festival itself.

The seeds were planted in the aftermath of Woodstock 94 and the days leading up to Woodstock 99. 94 did not make enough money, so they wanted 99 to compensate for that by cutting costs and maximizing profits. To subcontractors who inevitably did not deliver. Who woulda thunk it?

This leads to the type of price gouging and bad service that only served to (further) infuriate the crowd.

A crowd that over the course of the festival became
- drugged up
- dehydrated
- under-shadowed - is that a word?/sunburnt
- taken for a ride (and not in a good way)

Agression released by Limp Bizkit, escalating in a night of debauchery, a lot of consensual sex, and a lot of non consensual sex. The security was a joke (because of course, cost cutting), so nobody had the authority to stop it.

And then the third day. Between an in hindsight infuriating press conference (everything is well Madame Marquis), the infected water, a surprise super headliner who was not there,... And the candles... Oh my goodness, the candles,... As well intentioned as it may have been... if the organisation had any idea of what was going on in the field, they would have realized the boneheaded nature of this idea. The saddest part is that, at first, it seems to go well. But then of course all hell breaks loose. And then a celebration of peace and love ends with the organisation barricading their own offices and having to call in the goddamn national guard.

The musicians only get a short bit of speaking time and only Fatboy Slim does a bit of introspection. Jonathan Davis is right about security, but how much has he reflected on his own part in all of this? And where was Fred Durst? Why did this tough guy nu metal rapper did not have the time or courage to answer a few tough questions?

Sadly, the people in the organisation rarely show any intropsection themselves or admit much guilt to what happened.

The only silver lining is that some of the women in the documentary credited the events for planting the seed of ideas and thoughts what would later become the metoo-movement. Other than that, it's just a very sad story.

TJ...once again, You review stuff right before I see it::shocked::!

This was VERY good, although CLUSTERFUCK might have been a good subtitle as well. Such POOR planning by the organizers, such greed (taking away the attendees food/water and charging such high amounts-$4 for a bottle of water?!?), having the event on tarmac in the middle of summer with the heat index so high and no shade, way too much stimulation (all the Nu-Metal bands plus the various tents throughout), a lot of drunken Frat boy types with no worries about answering for their behavior and lastly, very destructive Mob mentality.
I realize and understand that the promotors wanted to make a profit, but there is also disgust how they didn't seem to admit to any problems or take blame. By the way, I don't think Fred Durst could walk and chew gum at the same time. A good performer knows how to keep the excitement level up, but if necessary, tone things down. He was beyond foolish to exhort the crowd to "Break stuff", and not realizing what would happen.
Watching things like this make Me feel more than ever that there should be a limit on alcohol at events, especially large ones like this. I can't even begin to imagine how wasted they were, especially during the Port-A-Potty snafu::EEK!::.

I would give this **** also

Amaltheaunicorn2023

04-08-2023, 05:36 AM

https:96&ssl=1

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 10:40 PM

TJ...once again, You review stuff right before I see it::shocked::!

Is it any comfort if I say that the original review dates back to august of last year?

Glad you enjoyed it.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 10:52 PM

Final Destination 2 2003 ★★★

I went in needing to clear my head, not needing tothink about anything all that much. And this one delivered.

Decent popcorn fun with some hilariously gory kills. Also, death working backwards this time was a nice touch. My personal facvourites were the window kill and the barbecued arm.

The Dark Knight 2008 ★★★★★

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan?

I don't, I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me.

Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
Yeah.

You can tell a classic from it's number of quotable lines. And this one sure has a few of them. Not in the least because of the delivery.

And I can never get enough of the scenes between Bale and Caine and Freeman.

Lost Lake 2012 ★

It helped my vocabulary. In a sense that I started looking up synonyms for boring to enjoy this annoyingly unscary flick. So I ended up with

a boring ghost story
bland characters
humdrum jump scares
platitudinous dialogue
drab delivery
an insipid finish
plastic acting (these days, plastic somehow sounds worse than wooden)

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:00 PM

I See You 2019 ★★

A pretty unmemorable flick. At least, for me it was.

We follow a family in a town where a child abductor/pedophile/serial killer is supposed to be active, but apart from some bits near the end, we don't really see that much of him.

The storyline about the family strife and the infidelity feels shoehorned in and the squatter-like figures – or whatever it is they call themselves, I already forgot the name – are not all that captivating or likable.

It's all just a little too messy to really be captivating.

Machete Kills 2013 ★★★★

The sequel to the cult grindhouse flick Machete. It hints at a finishing part to this trilogy, but that one is still in development hell, nine years after the realease of this one.

You know perfectly what you're getting when you go in. This is cheesy, awesome B-movie fun at its best, with all the bells and whistles. And an ensemble cast a ot of other movies would envy. As an illustration: remember the reactions to Scream when Drew Barrymore gets killed two minutes in? There are so many people in this one that you quickly forget.

Oh yeah, and president Charlie Sheen. I'm sure some people saw this in 2013 and thought to themselves: yeah, right. How stupid do they think we are? And then you rewatch it in 2022 and go: oh... ouch.

You Might Be the Killer 2018 ★★★½

Wow. Is Fran Krantz making a career out of these Scream-like meta horror comedies? Would be kind of fun, actually. Any other anyone could recommend? Because I am digging these.

A good two thirds of this film takes place over the phone in a smart-ass/knowledgeable conversation with his best friend and the passing customers inclined to voice their opinion. And people call Jessica Fletcher a busybody.

It was funny, it got a few laughs out of me and it honored and respected the tropes of the slasher genre. And the Serena Williams-lookalike playing the love interest was kind of cool too.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:06 PM

Nope 2022 ★★★★★

From the very first shot – with what we later learn is Gordy – this film has you intrigued and hooked. A monkey covered in blood, crouching over the body of a woman and a single shoe of a child. What is going on? What happened to the child?

Jordan Peele chooses to focus on atmosphere, showing not that much of the monster until later in the story. And even then, you're left to guess. The “second monster” at the end... Is that an evolved version? An alien queen like the one we saw in Aliens?

This way, he leaves much up to the actors. And they deliver. Especially Daniel Kaluya shines here, showing his range. Between the smart, artistic Chris in Get Out and the somewhat gruff, quiet OJ, the difference is pretty big. I'm also a fan of Steven Yeun and based on his suit in the trailer, I was for some reason expecting an OTT character that borrowed from Nicholson's character in Mars Attacks. Thus providing the comic relief.

Here, however, he plays it straight, with sometimes a hint of insecurity in his body language and inflection. Leaving him looking like someone suffering from what we now call imposter syndrome. Although, as I am typing this, I also realize that it can symbolize fears of a minority person that I as a Caucasian cannot and probably will never fully comprehend.

Because we cannot discuss a Jordan Peele-movie without talking about symbolism and metaphors. Some look a bit on the nose, like “Run OJ run” or the fistbump between a bloody Gordy and young Jupe. I also wonder wether what happens next is a nod to Night of the living dead, but maybe I am looking too far. Because there is so much more. The story about their ancestor. The shot of Keke Palmer covered in those yellow crime scene lines. And the idea of the monster being “in the cloud”, which I consider a stroke of genius in times where a lot of people have a large chunk of, if not all of their lives in such a cloud.

I could knock out a few more paragraphs, but I will leave the rest of the images and metaphors for a rewatch.

Five stars across the board. Deserves to be in all top-5 lists for 2022.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:07 PM

Deep Blue Sea 1999 ★★

Between the action and the plot, pretty much everything in this film was dumb. Even the comic relief. LL Cool J and a bird that says "fat butt". It only works the first time. Not to mention that LL has a bad case of important characteritis. On the other hand, the Christophe Lambert lookalike is suitable for this stuff.

That said... if there is a God, then Samuel L Jackson should become immortal as a thank you for making the best of this.

Fun fact: this one and Final Destination both have a character named Carter. But one is not a dick.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:10 PM

The Found Footage Phenomenon 2021 ★★★★

What I appreciated most about this movie, was the completeness of it. Personally, I only missed the Dowdle brothers and Paco Plaza. But in the who's who in the genre portrayed, this really feels like nitpicking.

This serves both as a good introduction and as a continuation. The newbies get a detailed history of the genre, while more experienced viewers are still likely to pick up titles they had not seen before.

I also liked how, in spite of the (lack of) technology, it always comes down to the same things: good characters, a good story, pushing the envelope,...

Does this mean it was perfect? No.

For one, I did not really completely agree with the stance it took on budget and recognizable actors. Thus dismissing/disrespecting Joe Keery's performance in Spree.

Also, it seemed very focused on the directors' point of view. I would also like to have seen some of the actors, like Manuela Velasco or Joe Keery for that matter, talk about how they compare this style to some of their other work.

In closing, I would like to play Devils advocate for a second and throw one more stone in the puddle. Since a lot of found footage scripts are improvised, well... Imagine Robin Williams in a FF? We know he was a master at improvising and movies like One hour photo and Insomnia proved he could be scary. Put those things together and...

How's that for a what if? :-)

Limbo 2021 ★★★★

The good people at the Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival always seem to have a keen eye for good Asian films. This one is a Hong Kong cop movie about an investigation into a serial killer, who has the trademark of chopping off his victims' left hand.

The whole movie is filmed in black and white, adding to a bleak and somber atmosphere, not unlike Seven. Some shots literally reminded me of Mills and Somerset. Without getting into ripoff territory, though. The way Cham Lau got the Japanese migrant documents was reminiscent of Somerset's dealings with the library cards, but it never became on the nose or super obvious.

The actors do a very good job. I completely buy Ka-Tung Lam as the rough around the edges rogue cop with the troubled past. Especially since I saw a picture of him later that night that reminded me of Johnny Depp. Mason Lee sports a pair of glasses that give him a Clark Kent-like vibe. Which somehow fit the more by the book cop he portrays. More of a character in its own right. While Cham Lau has some small hints of David Mills here and there, the difference between Will Ren and Somerset could not be much bigger. And Yase Liu acted her ass off. There are only few scenes where she is not crying or running or being scared. Or taking punishment. Holy moly. In only two hours, she got beat up more than Alex Krycek in a whole season.

The movie has you immediately in, with good storytelling and keeps you there until the very end. I don't want to spoil it, so I will not get into it, but based on the comparisons you can imagine it will not be very joyous.

Four stars well deserved.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula 1992 ★★★

An overall enjoyable adaptation of Bram Stoker's classic novel. Which is not to say that it does have not flaws.

For one, I was not caught in the tone which somehow did not fit for me. One thing pulling me out was Keanu Reeves' attempts at a British accent. They are both adorable and hilarious at the same time. Gary Oldman shows his range as the classic count Dracula. Though sometimes a bit over the top for my liking. That said, his scenes with Winona Ryder are filled to the brim with sexual tension.

Studio 666 2022 ★★★½

Watching this with a rowdy crowd definitely helped. It got you in the right mood to enjoy this.

It is no masterpiece for the ages. Sometimes the pace sags a bit and you can tell that the band members are no natural born actors.

But it succeeds in being cartoonish fun and the kills more than deliver. And that's enough for me.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:24 PM

Prisoners 2013 ★★★★

Prisoners is a solid thriller about the kidnapping of two little girls.

It stars Hugh Jackman, but to be clear: the tough, heroic Wolverine is miles away. Here, he is a desperate father, willing to go all I spit on your grave on a mentally challenged fellow who is suspected of the crime. The other lead is Jake Gyllenhaal, in a good role as the empathic, obsessed cop. Remarkable and funny: Even in a dark(ish) thriller like this one, he manages to sneak in a little bit of boyish charm in his first scene.

Also, on a side note: the fact that a mentally challenged character is called Alex Jones... Is that funny or does that make me the victim of a government conspiracy? Maybe something in the tap water, lol.

The story is set up well and moves along at a good pace. Dropping little snippets of information every now and then to keep you invested, with among others a nice parallel between Jingle Bells and Camptown Races from The Stepfather. And whenever Alex says more than just yes or no, you better keep your ears open. Maybe they should have gone a bit more into the moral dilemma between the two fathers, but then it might have gotten cheesy.

The final reveal is good and the subsequent shooting are well done and Gyllenhaal rushing to the hospital is suspense orthy of Hitchcock. That said, the final scene with Anna's mother and the moment with the flute seem a bit force and perhaps even unnecessary. As a viewer, you already know that things will not end well for this character in some way shape or form. So why add these two scenes? Because the alternative would too bleak? Perhaps.

All in all a solid thriller/crime film. Worth a watch.

Ps: Completely unrelated, but if Hollywood does a Ravi Coltrane-biopic, Terrence Howard would be a good lead.

Creaturealm: Demons Wake 1998 ★

The lads over at OSW review would/could/should have fun with this, because it goes in the same bin as The Room, Fatal Deviation, Samurai Cop and other so bad they're good movies.

I lasted about 20-25 minutes before turning it off. The dialogue, the sets, the acting, the delivery,... everything looks like and is on the level of a poor porn parody. Even Wood Rocket pays more attention to detail.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:26 PM

Unfriended: Dark Web 2018 ★★★★

Now that it's on Netflix, I decided to squeeze in a rewatch. It was worth the time.

In all aspects, Unfriended: dark web is a step up from Unfriended.

It starts with a good idea and a good story. I not only like how they cast an actually deaf actress for the part of Amaya, but also how the characters use ASL to their advantage later in the film.

The villains are also better fleshed out than in part 1. With all due respect, but the whole Laura Barnes-thing is just rehashing a lot of the slashers from the eighties with a FF coat. Granted, the whole idea of this secret Spectre/Illuminati like organisation is perhaps not very original either, but at least it's more appealing.

One of the main things in these movies are the characters. In part 1, it's a group of total douchebags that - certainly on a rewatch - have you thinking "how are these people friends?". Here, they may not be supergreat either, but at least they are (more) believable as friends.

The kills look good, with the villains using all sorts of technology and hacking skills to their advantage. To this films credit: they managed to make the techno babble not sound all that much like techno babble and the exposition does not sound all that much like exposition. But if you're not into the story, I can also totally see how this stuff looks silly.

The climax is better than the one part 1 too, but fair is fair, the studio producing the first Unfriended also had a hand in that. Here, we get several possible endings with one being bleaker than the other. That said, it rounds the story off in a good way.

So in short: a very enjoyable horror movie centered around a nice concept. Not sure where they would go next without repeating themselves, but if Unfriended 3 ever comes up, I will be in for it.

Freaks Out 2021 ★★★½

Freaks out, a Belgian-Italian coproduction, is a lovely story about friendship, about overcoming hardship and about being there for your friends. Because that's what you do for the people you hold dear.

It plays during world war 2, which paves for the sort of nazi killing that would have Indiana Jones and Aldo Raynes nodding in agreement.

The four main characters have gifts that can serve as superpowers. But this movie has a lot more heart than the average superhero movie. Not to mention the fact this one has the amount of gore that will never get you close to a PG 13.

And if that does not convince you, it also features a unique version of Radioheads Creep.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:34 PM

Resident Evil 2002 ★★½

I went in with low expectations and the first twenty, thirty minutes were actually pretty good, with a nice zombie atmos and decent kills.

Then the main character gets the type of memory that's convenient for the screenwriter and it disintegrates into generic action territory with hot people doing badass stuff and a dull bad guy reveal. But the action bits are okay(ish) and badass Michelle Rodriguez is the best Michelle Rodriguez.

Speak No Evil 2022 ★★★★

A Danish and a Dutch couple meet while on holiday. They hit it off and the Dutch invite the Danes over for a visit, only for them to find out that their hosts are not all they are cracked up to be.

For me, this film delivered. I like how it builds up the atmosphere with the foreboding score inversely proportional to the amicality of the atmosphere between the couples. As the story progresses, it peels away layer after layer with Patrick and Karin becoming less and less friendly, slowly revealing their true nature and intentions. In that aspect, it's possible to see the dinner scene as a form of grooming with the mother's eye on the near future.

This is all about manipulation and social control by alpha people over beta people. About wolves in sheeps clothing. Slowly, but surely, the Dutch parents assert their dominance over the Danes, with the scene at he restaurant and everything after as a key element. That's where the Dutchies really gain the upper hand. Where they know, we can do pretty much anything to these saps and they will be too scared/polite/... to put up a fight, let alone present themselves as a worthy adversary.

Social media are filling up with people annoyed by the beta nature of the Danish parents – in large part to it being available on Shudder, thus reaching a bigger audience then the type of art house film theatre(s) where I saw it. Not only was it not entirely correct – the mother did want to run away quite quickly – it could also be counted as a testament to the Dutch couple and their cunningness. As one scene shows, they are experienced in this “game” and so they know by now how and where to pick their next victims. In my opinion, the only thing breaking that mold was actually the sex scene. Given their history, this couple would be more likely to drop everything passion related on a dime and attend to their daughter calling for them, especially knowing the situation they are in.

The gory scene that everybody talks about, delivers on the intensity and eeriness. I went into the film a bit sceptical – what with all the “the scariest movie you will see this year” yadda yadda I have seen in the past on Netflix, social media,... Birdbox being the main culprit that comes to mind, but there are others as well. Only to end up thinking: wow, they really went there.

To me, this is the point where whatever is left of the spirit in the Danes breaks, allowing for a rather cruel closing sequence and ditto final shot of Bjorn and Louise. With an exchange reminiscent of an infamous dialogue in The Strangers: Why are you doing this? Be cause you were home/because you let us. Same scariness, same cruel, lackadaisacal delivery. Visually, the shot looks good, but it does make Patrick and Karin look a bit sloppy, which does not fit with their seemingly meticulous MO.

Well recommended, especially for fans of slow burns.

To be avoided by people going in a with a state of mind that says “I want it to make sense (ie (seemlessly) fit in my personal logic)”

The Purge: Anarchy 2014 ★★★

The second part of The Purge series is a step up from part 1 in that it delves more into the actual phenomenon of the purge, rather than focus on just one family.

We are slowly introduced to a variety of characters who somehow end up together towards the end of the first act. A struggling woman who not only has to take care of her daughter, but also of her ailing father. Thus allowing for a slight bit of Medicare commentary. There's a couple breaking up, but not really. And badass Frank Grillo on a revenge plot to avenge the death of his son. I understand how it needs this time to set things up and introduce everyone, but it somehow looks a tad bit messy, even on a rewatch.

Like I said, this one goes into the various aspects of The Purge a bit more, with quite a bit of social commentary. About how the poor dread this night and do all they can to survive and how the rich breeze through it and use their wealth to both stay safe and still purge. Best exemplified in the subplot where the father “sells” himself so that rich people can kill him 100.000 dollars in the safety of their home. Or the bit towards with a bit of a Running Man/Hunger Games-ish spectacle. It also allows for more elaborate kills and awesome shots like the Gatlin gun in the back of the truck.

Which, now that I think about it, raises an interesting question: Would the purge inadvertantly create a new market there? For example, for upper middle class people to buy/rent a condo in non purging countries like Canada or Mexico. Might make for a subplot with a lower middle class character saving for such a condo.

I also like how this one takes us outside more, showing how the danger can come from literally everywhere and at any time, even in the wee hours before the commencement.

As mentioned, Frank Grillo wants to kill the man who killed his son. An understandable state of mind and the type of quest you would probably see more often if the purge were to be an actual annual tradition. At least, there is more to it than to the type of petty killing a lot of people would stupe to during a purge. Like the colleague who got the promotion you were vying for, or the woman taking your favorite parking spot the day before the purge. And people with relationship issues? You might want to put off breaking up for a few days or even weeks.

And of course, there is the anti purge movement which, compared to The Purge: Election Year, is still pretty much in the background. Only to really pop up towards the end. Allowing (albeit unintentionally) for Election Year to improve on that.

Nothing all too mindblowing, but it makes for a decent sequel.

Tommy Jarvis

04-08-2023, 11:37 PM

Halloween: A Cut Above the Rest 2003 ★★★½

A pretty comprehensive documentary in which all parties involved discuss all aspects of the classic Halloween.

Not just the making of, but also the history behind and where they got the inspiration for certain ideas. It's entertaining and it looks like even the big Halloween die hards will pick up one or two tiny tidbits they did not know before.

And it's available on Youtube. Check it out.

The Tunnel 2011 ★★★½

The Tunnel is a pretty decent Australian found footage/mockumentary about a newsteam researching a story on homeless people who supposedly live in a vast network of tunnels under the Sidney trainstations. Vast in this case even sounding a tad euphemistic at times.

One thing that the movie definetily had going for itself were the characters. They looked credible as good colleagues/friends, without resorting to bickering or the trope of the group falling apart. The banter between Pete, Steve, Nat and Tangles makes them (a lot) more likable than the average FF character. Making you care for them more when things go awry.

The scares were built up well, the jump scares benefited from good execution and timing. Not overdone, well timed. Good stuff. And the ending is also a nice break from the mould.

To me, it's not up there with VHS 2 or such, but if you are a fan of the genre, it's well worth a watch.

Amaltheaunicorn2023

04-10-2023, 05:50 AM

https://m0vie.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/paranormalactivity2.jpg?w=584

FryeDwight

04-12-2023, 12:58 AM

LET'S KILL WARD'S WIFE (2014). Out of a group of long time friends, one of them has an extremely hateful and abusive wife. The rest of the group conspire to do something about it .

This black comedy is kind of out there, but isn't bad at all with some outlandish moments. I found it kind of cool that the vast majority of the cast are related, either through blood or marriage. ***

DeadbeatAtDawn

04-13-2023, 07:15 AM

Mister Creep, 2022. 7/10

Directed by Isaac Rodriguez

https://reelreviews.com/images/stories/2022/mister-creep-lg.jpg

FryeDwight

04-14-2023, 03:40 AM

THE DARK HALF (1993). George Romero adaptation of Stephen King's novel is way too long and extremely dull- I like much of Romero's work, but TDH could really have been made by anyone; it certainly lacks the oomph of earlier films. Some nasty moments and a pretty neat ending, but it's an awful long wait and not worth the wait. **

Amaltheaunicorn2023

04-14-2023, 07:09 AM

[IMG]NDk2My1iMGM4LWM0M2Ibn0.g

Tommy Jarvis

04-15-2023, 11:23 AM

[REC] 2007 ★★★★

[rec] stands tall as one of the classics of the found footage subgenre. Easily makes the all time top-five as far as I am concerned.

We follow a local tv crew – that's your excuse to keep filming out the way – on a routine assignment following the Barcelona fire department. At first, they seem shit out of luck as nothing much happens, the firefighters do not particularly have much to say and the few women in the firehouse run away at the mere sight of a camera. Needless to say, the report is not going very well.

Angela (enthusiasticly) So guys, you must have a lot of spectacular nights?
Firefighter (dryly): Nope. It's mostly pretty boring. And we hope it stays that way.

Which brings us to the first quality of this movie: the characters. Pablo and Angela come across as genuine reporters, trying to make the best of the situation. Making them instantly relatable. Angela is adorable in her attempts to put up a brave face. As is actress Manuela Velasco. This Angela is not a boy, that's for sure.

Relief comes when they get a call about a disturbance in an appartment complex. Something about an old lady screaming. They go over and get into their first (of many) “stop filming” quarrels with the police. With Angela urging Pablo to keep filming everthing... no matter what. After all, the public has a right to know.

It quickly turns out to be far from routine when the old lady does not really seem capable of conversation and then proceeds to bite one of the police officers on site. But it's only when a dead firefighter falls down the stairs that things really go south. From then on, you as a viewer are permanently on the edge of your seat. Completely immersed in the action. Meanwhile, Paco Plaza shows why is a genius of the Spanish horror by slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together, showing the origin of the infestation.

He also shows how he masterfully builds up suspense. On a rewatch, you know what's coming (like the little girl biting her mother or the final shot of Angela), but when it actually happens, it still gets you. Scary stuff and a must watch for every horror fan.

Tommy Jarvis

04-15-2023, 11:32 AM

Red Eye 2005 ★★★

In Red Eye, the dearly missed Wes Craven ventures into a thriller with the interesting twist that it mostly plays inside an airplane.

The opening minutes introduce us to Lisa, a hotel manager of the never panic type who has everything under control at all times. After the funeral of her grandmother, she is on her way and at the airport, she meets Jack, a charming, galant man. You, the viewer, are thus dooped into thinking that maybe there is a bit of romance in the air and that the danger will come from elsewhere.

And then in the plane, they sit next to each other. What are the odds?
Michael Scott: That's what *the screenwriter* said!

That, however, could not be less true. In only a few minutes time, the mask sinks and in no unclear terms, Jack tells Lisa what his plans are and what he wants her to do. These are the moments when Cillian Murphy shines and shows how thrillers and horror can be an actor's medium. Granted, he was pretty self confident that nobody would be eavesdropping, and towards the end, it gets a bit silly when the way he sounds reminded of a Denis Leary bit about a family of cancer patients who all have voice boxes. Then again, he can headbutt someone (bah gawd!) without anyone noticing, soo... that evens it out, I guess?

This might not be his best work, but I can tell you that Uncle Wes delivers a very entertaining thriller. The tension and the games between Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy keep you invested. Wonder why she did not venture into thrillers more often. Oh, well. The direction puts a nice spin on the “no reach” cliché and, yes, Uncle Wes can make a goofy looking pen look scary. So it's understandable that this movie made Bravo's list of 30 Even Scarier Movie Moments, even though The People Under The Stairs of The Hills Have Eyes are in my opinion scarier Craven-films.

Recommended for fans of a solid thriller and people who discovered one of Craven's classics and want to explore his work.

Baby Driver 2017 ★★★

From what I understand, Baby Driver is Edgar Wright's biggest commercial success. And the opening with Jon Spencer is pretty damn impressive.

That said, this did not make the same impression on me as his other gems. To be honest, it did not do all that much for me.

There were good things. Jamie Fox was good as the curmudgeon nutter in the group and I liked Spacey as Lord Boss Crime. And the bits between Baby and the deaf character were sometimes touching.

But the actor playing Baby was not all that charismatic and – at least for me – the chemistry between Baby and Deborah was not all that convincing. The visual stylings were there, but by Edgar Wright's standards, I was expecting more. The action just felt too slick and generic action like.

Yummy 2019 ★★½

Yummy mostly falls into the category “it's cool that we can do this in this country rather than always yadda yadda yadda”. A Belgian zombie film? A Belgian zombie comedy? I'm in.

The opening scene immediately has you covered. A shady doctor burning a body and... holy shit, it's Goldberg!

And he gets killed by a burning zombie?! Bah gawd, that man had a family!! (Yes, my JR still sucks)

We follow a couple on their way to a plastic surgeon in order for the woman to get breast reduction. The first thing that strikes me: the actor playing the boyfriend... I have seen him in only one role so far and there he played a softie. Here, his character is... a bit of a softie. Oh, and he ticks off the trope of the med school student who can not stand the sight of blood. How many of those have we had since Dead Snow?

Maaike Cafmeyer – as far as I know – had her first venture into the horror genre and she seems to be having fun with the girlfriend part. And there's the mother in law who – in the words of her daughter – spends her whole life trying to look like a teenage whore. She's (dyed) blonde and kind of douchy. What a surprise.

They end up in the kind of hospital that fits better in the universe of Hostel than that of ER or Scrubs, with sleazy staff and Clara Cleymans doing the type of charicature like Russian accent that could strike a chord with Ukranians.

Then a zombie escapes and all goes to hell. Resulting in a mix of gore, splatter and adolescent screwball humor that does not really rise above the crop. Been there, done that. Even what's supposed to be the big tearful goodbye did not really do all that much for me.

So it's not that original, but it does not have to be. It's definetily not as funny as Shaun of the dead, but it will get a few (ironic) chuckles out of you.

Recommended for people looking for some silly popcorn fun.

Trip 2022 ★★★

For the people with tldr-syndrome: Worst. Smoothie. Ever.

All jokes aside, Trip is a surprisingly solid ghost story that deals with topics like mental health and suicide. A lot more than one would expect from a movie that is available for free on Youtube.

I am not going to spoil anything, but suffice it to say that it goes into how difficult it is for the patients to express the state they are in and what they are going through, not to mention how difficult it is for their loved ones to know how to approach them. Or the faith that we put in doctors, psychiatrists and such and such.

Here is the link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk06Gb9Z0Kk

Check it out.

Be My Cat: A Film for Anne 2015 ★★★★

It's hard for me to say that I “liked” it since I have rarely been this uncomfortable watching a movie. That said, that is in essence the goal of this film. So that's a rather large feather in mister Tofei's cap.

From the first minute, Movie Adrian's presence puts you off balance with his incoherent rambling and his forced laughter. Over the course of the film, the kills become more gruesome and Movie Adrian becomes more and more unhinged. Especially in the moments when he lets his guard down. It's at these moments that we gets a glimpse of how warped his psyche really is.

Yes, this is a hurt soul. But this is also the type of warped mind who takes the stories about Stanley Kubrick and Shelly Duvall and then thinks that's how all directors should treat their cast.

Is there cinematographic merit to it? Yes.

First of all, props to the actors for making it look and sound convincing. Not easy in a genre known for small budgets.

Tofei also does a good job using the what you don't see is more scary than what you do see-trope. Especially in the torture scene with Flori.

He even manages to sneak in a few cinema nods. Some of the moments with Flori were reminiscent of the scene with Robert De Niro and Illeana Douglas in the Cape Fear remake. And it seemed like Tofei was sometimes purposely licking his lips in an attempt to channel Ledger in The Dark Knight.

A must see for every horror fan. Just don't expect anything cosy.

Amaltheaunicorn2023

04-16-2023, 11:06 AM

[IMG]https://dMG]

Tommy Jarvis

04-16-2023, 11:09 AM

His Name Was Jason: A Friday the 13th Fan Film 2021 ★★½

This fan film was dedicated to the memory of Steve Dash. I guess that explains why they decided to go with the Burlap Sack-look from part 2 for Jason.

The story, however, seems to be set in the universe of part 3, since that's where most of the callbacks are going: the barn from Higgins Haven, a character that looks like eyeball guy, the crime scene markers of Chucks kill, echoes from the 3D score (without the disco theme though),... Also, the waittress in the dinner kind of looked like an older version of Maddie from The New Blood. Need a little touch up work, my ass.

We follow three guys in a decaying town where all the good jobs are going away. So you get three over the hill with no prospects. Not sure if the movie wants to be social/political, but hearing these three talk, I could not help but see a picture of the type of small town folk that are likely to be convinced/suckered in (delete as appropriate) by someone like Donald Trump. Which kind of makes sense in my opinion.

They head into Camp Crystal Lake and stumble across Jason. Which brings me to my first point of criticism. I understand that other fan films have set a high bar, but this Jason just is not scary. Together with the images of him holding his head in anguish. Or the struggle with Mick. When you grew up watching Jason steamroll the competition, that just feels off.

The general idea is okay, but the dialogues are a bit too much of the same. Cutting a few minutes does not harm this film. Also, after the climax, we get a long final scene with no real pay off. The main good thing about it is that it promises a sequel with a higher death toll.

That said, the kills are okay and get more gruesome as the story progresses. I especially like the barb wire kill and the moment with the gun to Jason's head. You know what will happen, but it's still enjoyable. I also liked the use of the score, giving a nice vibe.

Decent overall. Not perfect, but not terrible either.

Tommy Jarvis

04-16-2023, 11:19 AM

Hostel: Part III 2011 ★★★

So the opening sets you up with an innocent looking American boy and a hot, Ukranian couple. So predictable, right? And then... swerve! For full disclosure, there is also a swerve at the very end, but you can that one coming a mile away. The delivery is much better on the first one.

In this one, the action moves to Vegas with a bachelor party.
Bride to be: Should I worry?
Groom: No, of course not.
Womp womp.

In their race for adventure and their hunger for sex and infidelity, they of course end up with a US branch of the elite torture club. In spite of the main character heeding the words of Chris Rock: Can't wait for GI... I'm sorry, I meant No sex in the champagne room.

This time, they have set up shop somewhere near Fremont. Even for experienced movie viewers, doing that on the strip would require too much suspension of disbelief. The actual torture scenes are as gruesome as you would expect. Especially the first one stands out with the audience betting on what the torturer will do next.

The acting is no great shakes, though Chris Coy delivers a solid villain/main henchman. Lord boss crime is a lot more forgettable this time around.

Oh, and... *Sean William Scott-voice* Carter, you dick!

Red Eye 2017 ★

A pretty forgettable slasher with no link to the Wes Craven helmed namesake.

The Headless-tee was pretty sweet, though.

The Final Destination 2009 ★★½

Final Destination, the franchise that's like a trusty knife. Always ready to deliver when you are in the mood for some gore.

In this fourth installment, we follow Nick and his friends Lori and Janet. And there's a guy called Hunt, though, throughout the movie, I get the impression that they spelled the c wrong.

They are attending a Nascar-race where they come across a mechanic, a cowboy and a racist called Carter. Thus keeping in tune with the Carter, you dick!-theme. Also... a racist at a Nascar-race? Who woulda thunk it?

Of course, Nick gets a premonition and they escape impending doom. After that, they go through the same song and dance as in the previous installments: the elaborate kills, figuring out the scheme, trying to “cheat death”,... yadda yadda yadda. No Tony Todd this time. Sadly.

The kills are good, though. Spectacular, bloody, gory with the characteristic build-up. And that's what I came here for.

Triangle of Sadness 2022 ★★★

Funny thing: even when you watch a comedy in an arthouse-ish theatre with a supposedly edumacated crowd, it's still the shit- and the barf-jokes that get the biggest laughs.

It's certainly relevant for these times as it pokes fun at current themes like influencers (though a movie like The Joneses in my opinion perhaps did it better) and income inequality. And granted, it got a few laughs from me as well. So it's definetily worth seeing. Is it the masterpiece the blurb promises? Not... really. The back and forths between Woody Harrelson and the Russian are kind of funny, but other than that, it does not get much further than a lot of “boy, rich people sure are weird”-jokes. And models and influencers are shallow and self centered. What else is new?

The story was well told and the running time rolled by swiftly. A sign of a well told story. Woody Harrelson is good as the reluctant captain. Zlatko Buric reprises a more tongue in cheek version of his character in 2012. The other characters are well placed, though none of them really stood out all that much.

classic_horror_fan

04-17-2023, 09:10 AM

The Ghastlies is a B comedy horror that is meant to be stupid and campy looking but funny, and it is funny and entertaining in that sort of over the top way. It parodies the classic Ghoulies, Critters, Munchies, and Hobgoblins films from the 1980s. It begins with a silly satanic ritual gone wrong due to an unexpected disruption from a flying saucer from outer space with little space aliens who are, of course, the ghastlies. The story continues five years later, with a group of girls spending the weekend together on a camping trip out in that same area, who then have one of their boyfriends and a friend of his suddenly pop up to join them. They then, of course, get unexpected visits from the ghastlies. The plot and storyline are predictable, like they are meant to be, but there is plenty of good humorous drama and dialogue to keep it funny and entertaining, along with keeping interest. The actions and kill scenes are funny and entertaining when remembering it is parodying the other movies mentioned above from the 1980s. It is definitely not great, but fun and worth a look for those into parodies and movies like the ones mentioned above. ::danger::

Angra

04-18-2023, 12:32 AM

Hunger (2023) 8/10

Reminded me of Whiplash.

Angra

04-18-2023, 12:41 AM

Renfield 6-7/10

Too much action, too little Nicolas Cage.

Had the story only focused on Cage and Hoult’s relationship it would have been a much better (and probably also cheaper) movie. Because their chemistry was great.

FryeDwight

04-19-2023, 02:00 AM

DOCTOR MORDRID (1992). A cheesy Full Moon flick involving two battling sorcerers, one (Brian Thompson) out to destroy the earth; the other, our titular character, played by Jeffrey Coombs , is there to thwart his plans and save the Earth.

Not really great, by any stretch, but decent enough way to kill an hour and a half. The whole thing, for Me, has a Dr Strange sort of vibe to it. **1/2

Amaltheaunicorn2023

04-22-2023, 05:33 AM

https:g

hammerfan

04-23-2023, 09:57 AM

Dog Soldiers
It Chapters 1 and 2

classic_horror_fan

04-24-2023, 06:16 AM

The Shallows is another shark themed horror film about a young lady in med school taking a vacation in Mexico to a secret beach with a lot of great waves for surfing. Her friend meets a guy at a bar the night before, and decides to run off with him and not go to the beach, but she doesn't let that stop her. She ends up surfing alone, and does real well at it, but after she is the only one on the beach, a large great white shark appears, and attacks her. She gets away, and makes it to the top of a dead killer whale, floating on top of the water, but she can only stay on top of that dead whale for so long before that shark can either knock it over or eat its way through. She then spots other things in the ocean, like a giant rock, and a chained station, and calculates distance and time it take to swim to each place, while scoping for where the shark is currently swimming. There is a lot of great artsy scenery, along with a lot of great suspense throughout the film. It also gets very psychological while she tries waiting out the time for a lower tide that might push the shark back, along with scoping the sea for the shark's current location. It also gets nice and touching when an injured seagull keeps her company on a rock in the ocean, and when she finds a way to fix its injury. This one is unique and surprisingly good, and different from most shark themed horror films.

DeadbeatAtDawn

04-24-2023, 07:47 AM

Bury the Bride, 2023. 4/10

Directed by Spider One

https://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/all-women-5-e1680545117530.png?fit=2000%2C1125&ssl=1

Just so bad.

Mindcage, 2022. 4/10

Directed by Mauro Borrelli

https://media-prod.fangoria.com/images/mindcage_2022.original.jpg

Terrible.

Angra

04-26-2023, 07:47 AM

Evil Dead Rise 7/10

I hear lots of people praise this one and the former movie for having the spirit of the original Evil Dead. I disagree. I think they both lack the creativity of Raimi and most of all charismatic characters. The only people you remember in the new movies are the possessed characters.

Beau is Afraid 8/10

A 3 hour non-stop mindfuck on a level with David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive" and "Eraserhead". Definitely not for everyone, but I liked it.

DeadbeatAtDawn

04-26-2023, 07:59 AM

Scream VI 2023. 6/10

Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2023-01/19/15/asset/399f1d578339/anigif_sub-buzz-4256-1674143131-4.gif

Evil Dead Rise, 2023. 6/10

Directed by Lee Cronin

https://64.media.tumblr.com/c4908d38c283792dc261807b3b55dc65/1dea35bc5bc2d88b-0b/s540x810/5c9dd7310b050d01ab176a1bae05c7a4ca009d25.gif

Amaltheaunicorn2023

04-28-2023, 06:48 AM

aaaaaaaaaaaaa

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-03-2023, 07:09 PM

Martyrs, 2008. 8/10

Directed by Pascal Laugier

https://64.media.tumblr.com/1b30abab8a57a2e6ab1ac4c77c98cd8c/1de99fab630981a5-2f/s540x810/455d76fbcb33602470cc694e9b7ecdd673ddee46.gif

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-04-2023, 06:33 AM

Clock, 2023. 7/10

Directed by Alexis Jacknow

https://cdn.allhorror.com/uploads/2023/05/6450161e8c9136450161e8c916.jpg

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-05-2023, 04:14 AM

The Pope's Exorcist, 2023. 7.5/10

Directed by Julius Avery

https://imgix.bustle.com/uploads/image/2023/4/14/7a7ce310-07b7-445d-9e35-0aa69af8ea68-the-popes-exorcist-2.jpeg?w=374&h=210&fit=crop&crop=faces&auto=format%2Ccompress

Amaltheaunicorn2023

05-07-2023, 05:22 AM

https://gardenavalleynews.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Book-Thief-photo.jpg

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-10-2023, 04:45 AM

The Third Saturday in October Part V and Part I, 2022, 2023. 7/10

Directed by Jay Burleson

https://cdn.allhorror.com/uploads/2022/07/62c44af6b362a62c44af6b362b.jpg

https://cdn.allhorror.com/uploads/2022/06/62bb48c386c3a62bb48c386c3b.jpg

hammerfan

05-10-2023, 05:03 AM

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Amaltheaunicorn2023

05-13-2023, 03:58 AM

[IMG]htt

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-20-2023, 01:06 PM

Sisu, 2023. 7/10

https://s3.amazonaws.com/nightjarprod/content/uploads/sites/130/2023/04/04120007/sisu-still5.jpeg

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-24-2023, 04:44 AM

Inside,2007 . 9/10

Directed by Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury

https://66.media.tumblr.com/312254c7a1aed3d8fb78e0bab1233b0c/tumblr_ohtoh50qzw1rp0vkjo1_500.gif
https://66.media.tumblr.com/1aed45f83c50ae7b3d74a5460a2f4116/tumblr_o4x4u6p36F1rp0vkjo1_500.gif

FryeDwight

05-27-2023, 02:44 AM

EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE (1995). A vampire (Martin Kemp from the band Spandau Ballet) seeking the reincarnation of his true love finds her at a local college. He needs to persuade her to join him of her own free will before his fading into eternal sleep.

While the story is OK, the main reason people check this out is to see Alyssa Milano, the cute little girl from COMMANDO and TV's WHO'S THE BOSS in nude scenes (nice ones they are as well::love::), but she isn't bad as a confused virginal (this is emphasized) college student. It's tough enough being pursued by a creature of the night, but the poor girl just can't catch a break;;bitchy classmates, troubles with studies and an extremely annoying/clingy boyfriend. ***

DeadbeatAtDawn

05-27-2023, 12:55 PM

Malum, 2023. 7/10

Director: Anthony DiBlasi

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/K7Qvdu22tx8/maxresdefault.jpg

Tin and Tina, 2023. 7/10.

Director: Rubin Stein

https://lagranilusion.cinesrenoir.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Tin-y-Tina-1.jpg

Angra

05-29-2023, 10:27 AM

Malum 7-8/10

Wtf

The director has remade his own movie. Donï¿½t really remember a whole lot from the first one as itï¿½s been 9 years since I saw Last Shift. But Iï¿½m pretty sure I will remember a few scenes from this one. So I guess Mamu wins by 0.5 stars.

I hope those shiny creepy eyes will be used in the new Salemï¿½s Lot.

Angra

06-03-2023, 11:31 PM

The Boogeyman (2023) 4/10

Bloof

06-06-2023, 07:28 AM

DeadbeatAtDawn

06-07-2023, 12:36 PM

Last Shift > Malum.

Influencer, 2023. 6/10

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/05/26/multimedia/25influencer-review-fwvb/25influencer-review-fwvb-superJumbo.jpg

Nefarious, 2023. 6/10

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ0uIO_dpng1nOOp0iDk0bFtAwvN9q84 73dDZfXnEamMUwRibdJo5a55JYv6Wxt4hpQj8hCDIXepl8&usqp=CAU&ec=48665698

Sean Patrick Flanery was amazing in this part!

hammerfan

06-11-2023, 01:56 PM

Jeepers Creepers 3

Bloof

06-15-2023, 04:54 AM

REPORTAGE NOVEMBRE 2022

Found footage. A young mother and her baby disappear on a walk in the woods. A team of journalists try to retrace her steps.

FryeDwight

06-15-2023, 11:52 PM

LAKE PLACID (1999). Decent enough flick although the location for a cold blooded reptile is suspect...the water is freezing. Mysterious happenings involve local agencies (most who come off as ignorant yahoos) and eccentric scientific types teaming up to either capture or kill the menace. It takes some patience to get involved in the story-Bridget Fonda's character expends lot of energy complaining, but the FX are better than You would expect and Betty White is a hoot as a foulmouthed widow who may be involved in more that is suspect. ***

DeadbeatAtDawn

06-16-2023, 07:13 AM

Beau Is Afraid, 2023. 7/10

Director: Ari Aster

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIcMm1s1Qiduo5bHP_N1cwSE95F3LpJWb0DgQXHuKl7D d1YJvzX4ZEJCvnc80tj8R0FhZnsFQotKN6KtEE_qTfhswpa63S 1mkpD2yheXPcnEMMkywWht5fBOZxaPIKMXLrJ21FKkvFq4sbyK 14ZoofQEgyWWZQEmyvXEN4pK5kwEUxWf87Sw/s608/JOAQUIN%20BATH.gif

The Danish Girl, 2015. 7/10

Director: Tom Hooper

https://64.media.tumblr.com/34d1108f05c237afb4ed9a079f488af2/53efe1eaa96e521f-e1/s540x810/e8eefaec11777d36f85cfcee248da60e28913fbd.gif

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 02:45 AM

Idyll 2015 ★★★

One of the pleasant surprises that can ever so often pop up on the specialised YT-channels. Luckily with English subtitles available.

Killbillies (or Idyll as it is called in its native Slovenia) is a slasher that from time to time (ever so) slightly veers into the territory of I spit on your grave. With, amongst others, a rape attempt at the start of the movie that gets spectacularly Van Dammed.

Our main characters are aspiring models, going out on a fotoshoot. Zina is the badass heroin who does not take shit from anyone with a new wave/goth/Zoey Deschanel-ish look to go. And then there's Mia. Or, as I called her at the start, Ehmagerd. She embodies all the stereotypes about fashion models and all the things that make models annoying. A self absorbed superficial chatterbox with nothing to say.

They leave the city with their friend/photographer Blidtz for a photoshoot out in the country. With Mia throwing a tantrum about cream and ticks and what not. Is this supposed to be the comic relief? Because it only made her more annoying.

From the start, the omens do not bode well. Case in point: the encounter with the locals selling moonshine by the side of the road. Or the shot of the hillbillies on the side of the road smashing stuff. Sadly, no Homer Simpson smiling politely.

Then the main baddies introduce themselves. Two deformed rednecks who claim the models are trespassing on their territory. They quickly take them prisoner – dare I say after a Blidtz-krieg? - and get to torturing and raping (or at least trying to). Meanwhile, Mia's ineptitude and incessant sceraming and crying only make her more annoying. And we only reinforce Zina as the badass who saves herself out of every sticky situation.

The movie is entertaining and Zina is a (somewhat) likable heroin. The villains do look scary and the kills are well executed. And we get a pretty decent final battle between Zina en Frantzl. With the latter giving away slight echoes from Freddy Krueger in the original ANOES.

That said...

There's not that much of a character arc and the foreshadowing (for example the knife) is pretty on the nose. The twists are pretty predictable, apart from maybe the dark ending. Which I will not spoil.

Three stars overall. A nice addition to your slasher-collection.

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare 1991 ★★½

I have to (partially) agree with the critics on this one. It's better than The Dream Child, but by this point, the series has gone into full on goof mode, with far fetched stories and Freddy's oneliners getting pretty bad at certain points.

Out of nostalgia, the part of me that somewhere still hosts a 15-year-old does however still have a soft spot for the series in general and this movie in particular. I kind of like the silly jokes and, contrary to the others, enjoy the Spencer kill. Or the irony of Ricky Dean Logan going from bully to victim in about a year or two.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 02:53 AM

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End 2007 ★★★

Out of what I have seen from this franchise (How is this even a franchise in the first place? I don't know!), this one is the most fun. It was aware of the silly nature of the concept and had some fun with it. Joe Lynch? He gets it.

Recommended for people who want good, wholesome, gory fun. And for fans of Henry Rollins.

You Should Have Left 2020 ★★★★

I really enjoyed this one.

The haunted house idea was worked out well, with the appearing and disappearing rooms reminiscent of the novel House of leaves.

It gets gradually more and more scary and I like how the effects leave both you and the characters wondering about the fine line between dream/hallucination and reality.

I found Amanda Seyfried convincing as Susanna and I love Kevin Bacon, so he can't do much wrong anyway.

Candyman 2021 ★★½

The much maligned Candyman 2021. From my point of view, it's more of a sequel than a remake, but it gets mistaken as such. By the end, it should however be pretty clear that this is not the case.

It may not be great, but it's certainly not as terrible as some people say it is. The story harbours some good ideas: the main character's back story and his metamorphosis, the idea of there being several candymen over the course of history. The elevator bit is scary and the white people dying first was an obvious twist on a trope, yet well executed. And that's the main thing.

Bringing back Vanessa Williams was a good idea and I also liked Colman Domingo's performance. Granted, it helped that he gave off this “he looks familiar, let's imdb him afterwards”-vibe. In my opinion, he delivered one of the better performances on FTWD.

That said... Overall, it just did not do all that much for me. Apart from the elevator bit, there was not really anything scary. In spite of its qualities, as a horror movie, there was just too much meh for it to stand out.

Lot 36 2022 ★★★½

Lot 36 is the opener for a series of shorts created and introduced by Guillermo Del Toro. In this case, it's even based on a short story written by the man himself.

Lot 36 makes for a good opening.

The story of the army veteran with shady dealings is a good idea. Tim Blake Nelson finds the right balance between bitter, cold and harsh. Embodying the type of person that feels deeply hurt and finds nothing better than to just lash out at the world.

As one can expect from a Del Toro production, the monster delivers. It looks awesome and still manages to be not quite what you expect. And the pay-off to the old lady subplot is sound too.

45 minutes of solid entertainment. Thumbs ub, Gene. Thumbs up, Roger.

Licorice Pizza 2021 ★★½

At its core, it was a rather sweet love story. The story was nice and some of the meet cute glances worked. I mainly liked the dynamics of their friendship. How true friends end up together, no matter what their differences are.

The (Oscar) buzz? Nah.

I understand why, though. It's the type of period piece that the Academy eats up the same way millennials wolf down sriracha.

For me as a viewer, though, it just did not live up to the hype.

Graveyard Rats 2022 ★★½

Graveyard rats is kind of a mash up between Friday the 13th the TV series - the one about the antique shop - and the funnier X-Files episodes.

Not really scary, but overall entertaining. Though one of the final shots does deliver.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 03:04 AM

Donnie Darko 2001 ★★★★½

I love Donnie Darko.

I love the ultra-stoned look Gyllenhaal has over the course of the first half. I want some of the weed he's been smoking.

I love the banter between the Gyllenhaal siblings. And yes, how DOES one s**k a f**k?

I love the baby mice joke. Made me laugh harder than the average comedy from the past twenty years.

I love how pretty much every character in this movie is either a nutcase or an outcast. Making you laugh at them or feel sorry for them, all dependant on your mood at the time. Proving how much in life depends on timing.

I love how Drew Barrymore only gets a small part as the quirky teacher. (“You can sit next to the cutest boy.” I'm from Florida, that way I'll know who to bang.)

I love seeing Katharine Ross as the therapist. A gentle hommage to one of the horror greats.

I love Swayze's skeevy motivational speaker. He just sweats sleaze. Guess what? Kiddie porn. Who woulda thunk it?

And Seth Rogen is in this one? What the hell?

Most of all, I love not understanding this movie. Being mesmerized by the imagery and the film's surreal and sombre mood. In spite of it having strangely sweet moments. Knowing that there is a metaphorical layer in there, yet not getting close to seeing (through) it. Making it all the more intriguing for a rewatch. The uncertainty on wether or not all of this was a dream.

Donnie Darko weirds me out. And I love him for it.

V/H/S: Viral 2014 ★★

V/H/S Viral or how quickly can a franchise nosedive? Part 2 was one of the best found footages ever. This is a non compelling mess with both the surrounding story and the individual stories having little rhyme or reason, if any.

The worst was the parallel dimensions with a lot of inane chatter and the next door neighbours apparently having noisy sex, though for no apparant reason whatsoever. Except maybe for a lame joke.

Speaking of which, somewhere in this movie you also hear a bit of Ode to joy, because... because... because why the fuck not?

The segment about the skaters earned the second star. Predictable, but kind of fun. The only one of these stories deserving of a place in the previous installments.

Dual 2022 ★★★★

The concept intrigued me, but I did not make it when they showed it at the Bifff this year. So it became one of those movies that lurked somewhere in the back of my mind until it hit streaming platforms. And yesterday, a good moment came up to watch it.

Granted, this is more in the realm of science fiction in that it portrays the things are scientifically not yet possible.

The concept is interesting and I can imagine there being a public for it. though the vast majority of people would now waiver it as being “not the same as the real thing”.

I was firstly struck by the emotion in this movie and more the lack thereof. How thin the line can get between calm and cold/callous. At first, I did not think that much of it. Sarah throws up blood and goes to the hospital, but she will not say it's an emergency. As I am typing this review, I am reminded of testimonies on the Paris attacks in November 2015. How severely wounded people on the terraces told the emergency people all sorts of variations on “I'm fine. Go help those people, they need it more”. Then when she hearsshe is terminal, the doctors has “Normally, people cry when they they are dying” The only thing missing is the casually surprised “huh”.

That's pretty much the tone of this movie. The characters do talk about their emotions, but the way say it has a distinct “what of it”-sense to it. Only broken by the moment when Sarah/Sarah double breaks down in tears in the middle of the roundabout.

How much is a matter of the characters not being able of expressing their emotions, putting them under words? How much is social conditioning, the fear of making others uncomfortable?

It's a movie that gets you thinking. And that alone is a merit that deserves praise.

Scary Movie 2000 ★★★

Time for a rewatch of the horror parody franchise. It delivered what one would expect.

While Scream stayed a bit tongue in cheek, Scary Movie goes all out on the adolescent humor. Fart, sex and dick jokes galore. Some of them have become groanworthy, some of them are good for a chuckle.

Some of the parodies are well done and Anna Faris is perfectly cast for this type of goofy fun.

It was dumb, but it did dumb well. Certainly compared to what followed.

The Autopsy 2022 ★★½

Slow starter, but some nice gore towards the end.

Cult of Chucky 2017 ★★★

Up until now the latest entry in the Child's Play-series. That is if you don't count the 2019 reboot. But that's been 3 years as well.

It's an enjoyable entry in the series. For this one, Don Mancini left most of the cheesiness and the onelinerama behind him and focused more on the gritty, scary side of the movie. Proving once again that Chucky is a nasty little fucker. That said, there are still funny moments in there. I guess Chucky-movies will always have a bit of a crack.

I also like how they inserted Andy Barclay back into the movies. He gets a believable position in the story, with his past still haunting his (romantic) present and with Chucky still being a bully, even with the risk of a violent response. Because that's how nasty he is.

The focus, however, is mostly on Fiona Douriff. Returning here as the wheelchair bound Nita. Though that does not stop her from getting it on. What... why... how? Oh, just roll with it (no pun intended).

She is terrified of Chucky and yet, ready to take him on when he arrives. And when he does, the carnage breaks lose. Resulting in a few nicely gory kills. The chuck is back and he does not mess about.

All in all a well made movie with a lot to enjoy. Wether it's the kills, the ending with Jennifer Tilly, the multiple Chucky's or thelaugh off between father and daughter Dourif. It's different, it's a fun new twist and maybe it helped in keeping Brad on board for the future. Making it a win win. Because I don't mind seeing more of these characters. Heck, why not bring back Da Silva from part 3? Or bring back John Waters? The more, the merrier.

Werewolves of the Third Reich 2017 ★

What's not to love about this poor man's Inglorious Basterds?

- the astmatic Hitler?

- the godawful recreation of IB's bar scene

- the Aldo Raynes level accents, especially in German

- Joe Kane channeling Robert Patrick's character from FDTD2

- the hamfisted Dirty Harry hommage. While they leave other low fruit hanging ("sprechen sie talk?")

- the Wrong Turn sequel level make up effects

- the attempt at the all time f bomb record

- the inexplicable mushy soundtrack

- your Hans Landa du jour with occasional Bill Nighy vibes

It's 90 minutes of cornball fun at its worst. And I could not be happier.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 03:05 AM

Orphan 2009 ★★★★

I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

The main reason is this movie's villain. Isabelle Fuhrman delivers a career making performance as Esther. Starting off all sweet and innocent. As the psychologist later says: charming on the surface.

But then the story starts scratching said surface and Esther becomes more and more devious and caniving. Manipulating her impressionable brother and sister into a role as unwilling accomplices. And colder. In that aspect, I wonder if it was a deliberate choice to give her a Russian accent. It makes it easier for Isabelle Fuhrman to take on this calculated attitude that says: “Go on. I don't care. What are you going to prove? Nobody will believe you.” Not to say anything about her appearance. With her clothes and her coal black eyes, she gives off the same scary vibe as Damien or some of the others characters in The Omen.

The other cast members are no slouches either. Vera Farmiga is very convincing as the mother with the troubled past, struggling with both her inner demons and this complicated danger she finds herself confornted with. Peter Sarsgaard is good as the onblivious dad and I can not go without mentioning Aryana Engineer, who did a great job as the vulnerable Max.

Side note: I'm a huge X-Files fan and it's uncanny how I have the tendency to relate people back to that show. Example: whenever I see CCH Pounder, my mind always goes back to the Duane Berry-episode and sees her as the sceptical cop who eventually warms up (a bit) to Mulder.

The build up is great, with the accidents and the threats becoming ever more dangerous and deadly. Throughout all this, Esther manages to increase her grip on Danny and Max, turn the society against her adoptive mother and creep out the viewer. The big reveal is well done along with the scene where Esther/Leena hits on her father. Creepy stuff. The ending keeps you on the edge of your seat, with a satisfyingly tension conclusion. Especially the shot with Vera Farmiga caught under the ice. Knowing how people have actually died this way, it's enough to give you the willies.

If you want to do a creepy kid evening, this and The Omen should make for excellent viewing. And I am already curious about the other horrors that miss Fuhrman is in.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 03:14 AM

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2 2021 ★

Remember what Dreyfus initially said about Jaws? How he’d "rather watch it than shoot it as it was going to be a ‘bitch’ to shoot"?

I would rather shoot this than watch it. It was probably a blast to shoot and it's a bitch to watch.

90 minutes of what the fuckery (with the last 30 minutes going over 9000) in an attempt at... at what exactly?

I presume some self aware goofiness in the vein of Army of darkness, Dead snow, Mortal Kombat,... except with cardboard characters and a plot that makes no sense whatsoever.

For me, killing Wanessa was the final straw. Only to be enjoyed with a group of friends and plenty of booze and snark.

The Museum Project 2016 ★★★

A solid Australian found footage, albeit a bit slow and run of the mill.

The (film school) students doing a project by now is for FF what teens hanging out, doing drugs and partying are for slashers.

Once the scares come in, the movie delivers. The scares are done okay and the ending is perfectly fine. Just the one image, anything that character could say at that moment would be redundant and silly. *chef's kiss*

Two points of criticism, though:
1) Adding more characters (and throwing suspicion on them) would make it more of a mystery. Making the final reveal more of a surprise than it is now.
2) You could also use the first act to flesh out the main characters a bit more: add things to make them more likable, add some intrigue, a few red herings maybe,... just a bit more spice to make us care more for the characters and thus more invested in the scares.

That said, it's entertaining and a nice addition to your FF collection.

And it's on YT. Check it out.

Safer at Home 2021 ★½

Worst. Bad trip. Ever.

A bland thriller about a group of friends who get together during a ²version of the Covid-pandemic. They trip on Molly, an accident happens and everything goes south. Ehmagerd, what is ai gonna do?

Except that it is neither captivating, nor exciting. Boring characters, zero or no tension. And the one present is 90 percent who cares?

First world probblems, the movie. And the crowd goes mild.

Monsterland 2 2019 ★

While writing this two days after seeing it, all I remember is the Mom-from-Sleepaway-camp delivery in the opening scenes.

I think that says something too.

Dirty Mind 2009 ★★★

A story about a shy nerd stuntman who turns into a perverted womanizer after an accident.

Comedian Wim Helsen is solid as Diego/Tony. I liked Franck Focketyn as the diva actor and Peter Van Den Begin is one of those reliable actors who always deliver a good performance.

Also fun to see a lot of Belgian tv/movie regulars come by, like Maaike Neuville, Manou Kersting and Sien Eggers. And Marc Didden had a cameo. That's nice.

I can't say that it stood out all that much, but it was entertaining overall.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 03:16 AM

Spell 2020 ★★★★

Looking at the cast and some of the themes in this movie, one cannot help thinking that the success of Get Out helped in getting this project green lit. Having studio execs see that this kind of story gets bums in seats certainly does no harm.

Does this contribute to your viewing experience? Is this in any way relevant? Depends on how you look at it, I guess. On the one hand, the story is told from a certain perspective that adds a different context with its own metaphors. That said, one quality Spell shares with Jordan Peele-films is that you can both enjoy it on a deeper level as well as on a surface level as some sort of bouillabaisse of Misery, Deliverance, The Wicker Man,... even though, granted, this is less subtle than the average Jordan Peele-film. You don't really have to read between the lines in this one.

On a surface level, we see a businessman named Marquis and his family fly to the Appalachians for the funeral of his father. During a storm, their plane crashes and Marquis wakes up with what at first looks like a sweet old lady and her husband. However, it becomes apparent quite quickly that there is a lot more under the surface. With the couple and their friends/neighbours dabbling in voodoo, magic and impromptu surgery.

The horror comes at several levels. The physicial horror, ie the gore, is used sparsely, but very effectively. The one bit with the long nail will haunt you after the screening.

More prevalent is the psychological horror. First of all, Marquis has to worry about his family, which leads to a red hering which touches on the theme of cannibalism.

Or how he has to deal with the demons from his past. In short term like his abusive father, who turns out to be no stranger to voodoo himself. Or in long term with his father using images related to racism and slavery.

And last but not least, there is more than one spot with traces of hope being crushed, before we get to the ending.

You could argue on which ending would fit the narrative. Would it benefit more from the current one, which does not leave the family unscathed, or from a bleaker ending which would be more in the line of the before mantioned Wicker Man or, say, Eden Lake? Hard for me to say.

What I can is that a) both popcornhounds and cinephiles will find things to enjoy here and that b) this gem does not deserve to go under the radar.

The Outside 2022 ★★★

The fourth episode of Guillermo Del Toro's Cabinet of curiosities follows Stacey, a young woman trying desperately to better herself and find acceptance from her colleagues.

Kate Miccucci shines as Stacey. You can really sense the insecurity, the sense of not belonging and the determination to do so. Even after her husband delivers a passionate speech about everything that makes his wonderful, she still sticks to her goals. And honestly, after seeing a few scenes with this group of desperate housewives... Why anyone would yearn for the respect and friendship of these people is beyond me.

The atmosphere swings back and forth between eerie, awkward and funny. Like Stacey literally standing outside the circle of friends she wants to be a part of. Or her exchanges with the tv commercial guy who for some reason kind of reminded me of papa from Stranger Things. Or the fact that Micucci at times seems to be chanelling Jordy Verrill. Probably partly due to the way she is made up, both making her look more tired and beaten down and her eyes bigger and, for lack of a better word, more bulgey.

In closing, I like the vagueness of the ending. Is this real? Is this a dream? Will she wake up with everything going to hell?

Doctor Sleep 2019 ★★

In retrospect, I consider myself lucky to have found this DVD in the bargain bin.

An attempt at a sequel to one of the most iconic horror films ever is at worst doomed to fail from the start and at best be a good film that's perceived as underwhelming.

On the upside, there is the interview scene with the priest, turning around the dynamics from The Shining. Rebecca Ferguson does a very good job as Rose the Hat.

Then again, there are the things that leave to be desired.

First of all, there is the opening act. The idea of bringing back iconic characters is a nonstarter here, because it is bound to look like a cheap knockoff. The people replacing Shelly Duval and Scatman Carruthers tried their best, but it just did not work.

Ewan Mcgregor is an accomplished actor with some iconic roles to his credit, but I just did not buy him as adult Danny Torrence.

The special effects were neither impressive nor scary for the most part. And for all the Shang Tsung-ing that's going on in this movie, the main confrontation is just a gun fight.

But the biggest disappointment comes at the end, when they go back to the Overlook hotel. With a lot of moments where we are supposed to lose our shit, because oh-my-god-he-did-the-thing and ehmagerd, I remember that from the other movie. And me? I just did not feel much at all.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 03:25 AM

Pickman’s Model 2022 ★★★★

The artist who gets enchanted by a piece of art. Right up until the point where he starts having hallucinations who end up endangering and even hurting his family.

Nothing shocking, but well done. Solid execution and good gore. And Crispin Glover is always good as a creepy weirdo.

Sometimes They Come Back 1991 ★★½

The crew behind the King-adaptation looks promising with the director of Jason Lives, one of the leads from the seventies version of the Body Snatchers and... holy shit, it's Grady!

Is it entertaining? Yes. Is it well acted? Yeah. Is it scary? Hmmz.

There seems to be somthing odd about King-adaptations. While I will never question the genius of Stephen King's books, the movie adaptations of his books always seem to be all or nothing. Either they work and the movies become iconic (Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, The Shining, Carrie,...) or they don't… live up to their full potential. This one falls into the second category (together with, say, Tommyknockers).

For some reason, King-adaptations are either briljant or veer towards the silly. The moment you are not fully invested, it's easy to consider the movie as silly and goofy. McLoughlin does not moment to make the scary atmopshere and the acting is too over the top to be scary, though the three greasers, and especially Robert Rusler, show that they are capable of being scary.

Kiss the Girls 1997 ★★½

A decent serial killer flick, albeit a bit too by the numbers to stick out and the final reveal was a bit too predictable to earn the third star.

Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman were solid leads. And Cary Elwes had an easier task keeping up the accent than in Saw.

Good as a popcorn churner.

Anna and the Apocalypse 2017 ★★★

Title and trailer are solid gold.

The acting is solid. Ella Hunt makes you care for Anna and Paul Kaye is a great heel.

The idea is good for a chuckle and the execution is pretty good. The zombie kills were well done and the makers had some of the tropes of the zombie genre down, like the self sacrifice and the emotional farewell. Heck, some of the songs even had a good hook or a decent groove...

But, at the end of the day, it's still a solid zombie film wrapped inside a musical. And musicals and me... To me, musicals is still that one scene – I can't remember the movie: one character is telling the other to be quiet and then, two minutes later, the both of them are lustily and boisterously singing.

This is about as close as I can come to enjoying a musical, and that's an accomplisment in itself as well. So kudos to them for that.

Djinn 2013 ★★★★½

What a pleasant surprise.

It immediately started with the opening credits. Tobe Hooper? Has to be one of his last directorial efforts, right? Let's imdb. It's his last? Right on.

It focusses on a family who recently lost their child due to unclear efforts. As a reaction, they decide to leave the US and move back a place called Al Hamra on the outskirts of Dubai. Well, decide,... the therapist and her husband pretty much coerce the main character Salama into doing so.

Immediately, everything about their new home is off. Resulting in an eerie, offputting atmosphere with nods to both The Omen and The Shining. From the ever present fog to dogs keeping Salama from leavng the hotel. Or the other people in the hotel. Sammy and his eerie politeness seems to channel Lloyd the bartender while Sarah the neighbor has bits of the seduction scene in The Shining. The only comic relief being Salam's father. A walking dad joke with a matching belt size. Expecially when he “threatens” the ghosts in the desert. Man, you ain't even shooting Urkel, let alone these mofos.

Having read the other reviews, the final reveal was pretty clear from the get go. And I guess the perspective worked (too) well on me. But I will not apologise for enjoying it and being suck(er)ed in by mister Hooper.

Dolores Claiborne 1995 ★★★★

An emotionally intense drama in which two women deal with troubles, demons and traumas.

Selena, who is repressing them, running away from and at first lashing out at people who bring it up.

Dolores, who knows what she did and why she did it and does not feel the need to justify her actions to people who in her eyes don't know anything.

Two broken women come together and find each other in a beautiful story. The hearing scene went a bit too far in the melodrama, but that is pretty much the only piece of criticism I can come up with.

Jennifer Jason Leigh is solid as Selena and Kathy Bates really excels as Dolores. The sort of great performance one can expect from the woman who won an Oscar for Misery.

Is this a good King expectation? I can't say since I have not read the book yet.

Is this a good movie? That I can certainly confirm.

Tommy Jarvis

06-17-2023, 03:26 AM

The Orphanage 2013 ★★

Kid ends up in an orphanage where the HR department seems to be run by either Nurse Ratchett or Miss Trunchbull. I mean, the supposed lead doctor – what's his face – goes from calm to losing his shit at speeds you only see in car commercials. What the hell?! Even the staff at the halfway house in Friday the 13th: A new beginning would look at this guy and be like: shame on you.

The result is that you end up caring for the main character, at least a little.

Overall, not all that impressive. Too much relying on ominous music and too little actual scares.

American Psycho 2000 ★★★★

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing. - Patrick Bateman

One of my all time favorite movies.

Christian Bale delivers perhaps the first career defining performance. He perfectly encapsulates Patrick Bateman in all hs cynicism, disdain, brattiness, vanity, shallowness,... The moments when he looks at himself in the mirror while having sex with two prostitutes.now that's hilarious.

It's sometimes hammy as hell, with the card scene as the prize winner. And the best thing is: you never know if it's real or not. Is this really happening? Are these people really as self absorbed and vein? Are they really this hollow? These bollocks running windbags with the money to live this lifestyle? Or is it all happening in the warped fantasy of Patrick Bateman?

From the other cast members, the only one that really comes close is Willem Dafoe. Not sure if true, but apparently, they did alternate takes of the interrogations was either clueless or completely on to Bateman and sees through him. Which makes his character extra odd, yet in a suitable way.

We all remember the chainsaw bit, but on the gore level, this movie is quite tame. Most of it is shown through suggestion, like the bit with the hanger and even the axe scene was not all that explicit.

A great piece of satire and dark comedy.

FryeDwight

06-18-2023, 01:11 AM

Dolores Claiborne 1995 ★★★★

An emotionally intense drama in which two women deal with troubles, demons and traumas.

Selena, who is repressing them, running away from and at first lashing out at people who bring it up.

Dolores, who knows what she did and why she did it and does not feel the need to justify her actions to people who in her eyes don't know anything.

Two broken women come together and find each other in a beautiful story. The hearing scene went a bit too far in the melodrama, but that is pretty much the only piece of criticism I can come up with.

Jennifer Jason Leigh is solid as Selena and Kathy Bates really excels as Dolores. The sort of great performance one can expect from the woman who won an Oscar for Misery.

Is this a good King expectation? I can't say since I have not read the book yet.

Is this a good movie? That I can certainly confirm.[/QUOTE]

FryeDwight

06-18-2023, 01:14 AM

FryeDwight

06-18-2023, 01:21 AM

CLAWED (2008). Lovely Washington state scenery sort of helps lame script and acting. A group of College students investigate the possible existence of a Bigfoot like creature with the usual mayhem occurring. Tellingly, these people are so obnoxious You don't really mind. **

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:23 AM

You are dead on in this review...such a great film and Judy Parfitt stands out as the demanding bitch employer who may have more insight into Dolore's world than first thought.

The book is good, but it's Dolores telling her story and written in the vernacular of a hardscrabble not very well educated Mainer

Thanks for the compliment. Would you recommend the book?

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:27 AM

The Amityville Horror 2005 ★

Seeing a certain logo already made me weary, and sure enough, it's as classy and subtle as you expect from Platinum Dunes. Bland jump scares, bland wife/girlfriend,... a snoozefest not interested in scaring the audience.

Heck, they even managed to make Ryan Reynolds look douchy. Ryan Reynolds. He could play Ted Bundy and part of you would still want to root for him.

The only positive thing I can say is that part of me wants to see Ryan Reynolds and Jason Lee in an odd couple style sitcom.

School of Rock 2003 ★★★

Why only three stars? Because that is as good as these archetype feel good movies get. The structure is way too predictable and by the numbers for me to be surprised and the big finale is too much nonsense for a fortysomething to still buy into. Also, his roommate is dating Sarah Silverman and somehow, Jack Black is the one who gets to bragg about a hot date. Oh, movies.

Does that mean that it's bad? Far from it.

It executed the idea well, hearing the classic songs sent the required shiver down my spine and it had a number of good jokes. It got a few laughs from me and did not overstay its welcome, which is all a comedy has to do.

Jack Black is tailor made for this role. He lives the character and you cannot help but see and hear mannerisms and the musical influences of Tenacious D in the songs he and the kids write and play together. Joan Cusack shows off her comedic chops as the headmaster. Would not mind seeing her in more comedies. Any suggestions?

Fall 2022 ★★★★½

Fall was a fun ride. Pity I missed the theatre screening, because you can trust me on this one: I'm sure this should be a theatre experience. Also, it would easily have been a contender for a top five spot.

The story mainly focusses on two ladies climbing a very high tv broadcast tower in the middle of nowhere. There is a bit of Jeffrey Dean Morgan in here, but by his standards, he is very restrained. No Neganing or smartallicky stuff. Just a sad father reaching out to his daughter. Frustrated whe she tells him to go away. The daughter in question, Becky, is still grieving over the death of her husband, nearly a year after he fell to his death during a tragic rock climbing accident.

So what pulls her out of this slump? Her vlogger friend Hunter dares her to go on another and after some cajoling, she is convinced. And that's where everything goes wrong.

Is it predictable? Kind of. You can see the disaster coming a mile away. But at that moment, it's not about the climax and more about the set up and that is done extremely well. You can fell the tension mounting. Same thing goes with the things they use later on.

Once they are up there, things start happening. Because there is not much to do as such on top of a tower with no way down. So the two friends start using their wits to find a way to escape, as well as the objects at their disposal: their phones (duh), the drone Hunter brought, the backpack, a flare,...The script makes good use of the props available, thus reminding me of this Thai movie called The Pool I saw a few years ago. For various reasons, the attempts fail at first. Too low battery levels on the drone or just people being, well... people.

Also, tensions from the past come up, creating tension between Hunter and Becky. Critics can argue that they gloss over that pretty easily, fans would argue that is a testament to the strength of their friendship. I can easily see both sides as well as my personal opinion piggybacking back and forth between the two depending on my mood at said moment.

That said, that is still nothing to the big reveal. Set up perfectly, this brings a genuine “whoa”-moment. I especially loved it because it's been a while since I have seen one of these. I guess it goes back to Seoul Station.

Another major quality is that the movie understands the principle of “show, don't tell”. The prime examples being the scene where Becky and Hunter retrieve the backpack, Becky's fight with the eagle or the catch they make in order to save the drone,...

For some reason, imdb puts this in the thriller category, but I am sure horror fans in particular as well as cinema fans in general will love this. Well recommended.

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:30 AM

Dreams in the Witch House 2022 ★★

Rupert Grint plays a guy who is only a child when he loses his sister Samantha. I'm sorry, I meant Epperley.

He becomes so obsessed with seeing her again that he drops some acid before getting sucked into this lower budget version of the Upsidedown. And needless to say, it all ends up going terribly wrong.

The effects in the other world look good and I am certain the Lovecraft story it was based on is solid. But the director did not use the tension well and Grint is simply not that convincing in this role.

The second star is for the effects and the rat crawling out chestburster style.

And then back in.
Mister Takei?
Oh my.

Lake Mungo 2008 ★★★½

Lake Mungo was a solid effort in the faux documentary/found footage genre. An entertaining bit of horror about the disappearance of a girl.

While it did not live up to the reputation garnered on the internet, it did manage to instill an overall eerie atmosphere with characters likable enough to empathize with them. Which is something you should not take for granted in this subgenre.

Also... The Tunnel, The Museum Project, Lake Mungo,... What is the deal with Australia and found footage?

Dominion: Prequel to The Exorcist 2005 ★★

A prequel to one of the all time classics can be nothing but underwhelming. And this one was underwhelming.

I can understand bringing in Nazis to give the main character a cross to bear.

But offscreen kills? 30 years after the groundbreaking effects in The Exorcist? Or The Omen? No sir, that will not do.

One of the better things was the recycled captain Rhodes-character, who now is a major. Otherwise, there is nothing much memorable about this flick.

13 Fanboy 2021 ★★★★

For fans of the series, this indie spin off is the bee's knees.

In short, 13 fanboy is Friday's answer to A new nightmare, where the monster crosses over to real life. In this case in the person of an obsessive fan stalking (and kidnapping and killing) the actors from the movies.

A few of the logistics don't completely make sense and this movie has no art house pretensions. But all that does not matter.

What matters is seeing all the old lovies back in a Friday-film: Tracie Savage, Lar Park Lincoln, Debbie Voorhees, Kane Hodder, CJ Graham, Judie Aronson,... Or the nods to the series.

The fun of seeing Corey Feldman as a sleazebag producer. Or seeing that Vincente Disanti seems to be drawing from the same casting style as Brad Jones. And look, it's James A. Janisse.

Or the fun of seeing your name on the screen as a one of the Kickstarter sponsors.

Casual moviegoers can easily give this a skip. This is for the fans.

And now I want to see that found footage "Snuffed Out".

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:38 AM

The Pale Blue Eye 2022 ★★★

A pretty much by the numbers detective flick in the same style as a few good men. Entertaining, but nothing really great. Bale is solid as usual, but Gillian Anderson overdoes her posh British accent. Other actors were not too memorable.

The final reveal was kind of well done and I did like the inside joke about Poe writing a poem about Landor. Which, in fact, is true.

In cinema terms, it is the definition of a matinee. A perfect fit for a subscription, but don't pay extra to rent this one.

Halloween Kills 2021 ★★½

This may not have been overwhelmingly great, but it's certainly not as bad as some other reviews claim it to be.

It's one of the okay-ish Halloween-sequels. It moves along at a good pace. The tension is solid and Michael coming out of the burning house does make for an impressive shot. The subplot of Tommy Doyle and Lonnie wanting to kill Michael added some good characters as well. Also a shoutout to the writers for adding Big John and Little John.

And the kills? Well, I used to associate Michael with the typical Scream-like stabby fun time. So seeing him pierce eyeballs was cool and the fluorescent lamp kill was a nice change from the norm.

So is it all positive? Far from it. The overly dramatic dialogue felt forced and the harping on the evil dies tonight even downright laughable. I get the idea that a Halloween-movie needs trick or treaters, but the subplot with the annoying kids could be skipped or given a more satisfying conclusion where they all get what's coming to them. The lynchmob subplot could serve a purpose, if it had not been for its ridiculous conclusion. Not to mention the bar scene with Tommy the buzzkill.

Because after all, we are (supposed to be) in a trilogy and how do we set up part 3 without any kind of bollocks? Come on screenwriter, bring an idea. That cocaine is not going to snort itself. Let's not and say we did. Great idea, man.

Velvet Buzzsaw 2019 ★★★

It's always fun to see Jake Gyllenhaal in a movie. He's one of those actors who deliver a solid performance in pretty much everything they're in. And most of the stuff he's been in is pretty good too.

This one? Hmm, on a lot of levels somewhere in betweenish.

As a horror, it's somewhere in betweenish. It's not really all that scary, but it has a few good moments. Specifically towards the end, with the paint crawling up on Antonia or when Gyllenhaal's character snuffs it.

The story where the art kills anyone making money from it? In betweenish. I like the idea. Not saying it's overly original. I remember at least one X-Files episode that ventured into this territory. And now that I think of it, there are probably episodes of the Friday the 13th tv series (you know, the one with the antique shop with the cursed objects) that did so too. As a premise to poke fun at the pretentious, shallow art (dealers) world? Where it's sometimes just as much dog eat dog as in most other sectors? Meh, why not? Triangle of sadness tried something similar and at least here the satire worked better on me. In betweenish.

Is it because of the cast? Maybe. As mentioned before, Gyllenhaal is good in all his roles and here, he's great as the snooty art critic Morf. In my opinion, he had the most interesting character arc, going from snooty and confident to hurt and desperate. Other good performances from the girl playing the art dealer Morf falls for and the young man as the up and coming artist Damrish.

It was good seeing Rene Russo again too (it's been a while since I've seen her in anything) and she fits the part as the tough as nails art house owner with the punk rock past. She can be charming when she wants to be, but the claws can come out just as easily and efficiently. Also, can I say that Toni Colette is underrated? She already was great in Hereditary, but she also makes the most out of the character she has her. Good stuff. And what's left to about Malkovic? The role of the seasoned artist with creative struggles fits him like a glove. No surprise there, we know what he can do with this material.

Pret à porter for Netflix, Tubi and other streaming portals. Maybe a tad too pedestrian for people who expect more genuine scares from their horror.

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:39 AM

Malevolent 2018 ★★★½

Malevolent is a well told haunted house story. With a good dose of comeuppance thrown in the mix.

Three friends run a scam where one of them, Angela, can supposedly communicate with the dead. At the start of the movie, we see her flex her “talent” at the house of a well meaning family, convinced by their performance.

We then get a few Hollywood tropes: Angela wants to quit because she saw stuff, her brother wants to keep on going because he is in trouble with sleazy types and needs money and then one more job comes along.

This old lady, however, sees right through them. And there turns out to be a lot more to this house than they could imagine.

The build up works well, though it might feel like a slow burn to some. Especially the second half picks up with a good cat and mouse game, revealing over time who is really in control. And some nice torture scenes for those that are into that.

The acting is overall solid. Especially Florence Pugh as Angela shows that she can carry a movie, but the overall acting is solid, with a specific mention for Scott Chambers as the lovelorn Elliott. Funny sidenote: Celia Imrie is your standard scary antagonist, but she does manage to make posh English sound scary.

Saw 2004 ★★★½

I have a strange relationship with Saw. The first time I saw it, I did not think that much of it. but on a second or third rewatch, I start to notice that it's growing on me.

I can perfectly see how the opening scene intrigued audiences on its release. The story is set up well and the flashbacks are not as confusing as some of the Youtube videos I saw on this film would have you believe.

Though they were on point about the music video style editing. Sheesh, why not have Marilyn Manson play the killer? And you could cast Josh Saviano as Tapp.

Is the acting great? Well, some of it is. Danny Glover is very good as the obsessed cop and Tobin Bell is excellent as Jigsaw. Career making performance.

If I could time travel, some of my destinations would include premiers of horror classics. See how people responded to, say, seeing the chestburster for the very first time. And you know what? After last night, Saw might just be one of them.

Don’t Come Knocking 2005 ★★★★

Wim Wenders produced a beautiful movie about reconciliation and making amends.

Sam Shepard plays a washed up actor named Howard Spence who turns out to have not just one, but two children he did not know about.

One is the country singer Earl, played by Gabriel Mann, who is confrontational in more than one way. In the process also confronting Howard with his past by being eerily/sadly like him. A case of the apple and the tree becoming awkward.

The other is Sky, played by the delightful Sarah Polley. Showing the softer, more contemplative side Howard seems to want to reach/show. I'm glad she chose these indie roles because she really excels at them.

It's a beautiful story about love and warmth and overwinning obstacles and regrets. Being well dosed at the same time. It does look into Howard's excesses without going into gratuitous detail. You see all that you need to see and you can piece together the rest. And the conclusion in my opinion more hopeful than it looks at first sight.

All of this is well performed by a great cast with amongst others Jessica Lange, Fairuza Balk and a small role for George Kennedy as a director who is both disgruntled and trying to patch things up. And Tim Roth is funny as the relentless insurance agent Sutter.

Worth checking out. Definetily.

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:42 AM

The Viewing 2022 ★★★★

The viewing was a quite enjoyable trip. A rich old man invites four media personalities for a “viewing” of an object. Four characters who don't have much to set them apart. Charlotte is an Asian scientist with a Velma-like haircut. Randall is a music producer with an afro. Guy is a guy with a bit of a seen it all arrogance and Targ is a British sounding fella who dabbles in the psychic.

Together, they are invited by Lionel Lassiter. Performed by Peter Weller, giving off a bit of David Carradine and some Christopher Lambert at times as well. After they get together under the watchful eye of Lassiter's vague henchmen and some obvious foreshadowing, they do a variety of drugs.

It takes it's time to set up for a finale that pays off. With solid special effects and nods to Scanners, Raiders of the last ark and The blob.

In short: more style and pretty visuals than a coherent, original story. But I was totally on board for it.

JFK 1991 ★★★★½

Sure glad this one popped up on Netflix. Talk about an ensemble cast: Costner, Matthau, Rooker, Bacon, Sutherland senior, Spacey, Pesci, TLJ, Metcalfe, Newman from Seinfeld,... did I recognize HalHolbrook at one point? The list goes on and on.

This epic masterpiece fills your entire evening. Only at the start, Oliver Stone floods you with names and traces and it's hard to keep track. But once it's warmed up, it really sucks you into the intense ride that is the Kennedy investigation.

Even while knowing the historical background and what came of it... Halfway through the movie, you will find yourself rooting for Garrison.

You want him to catch the killers.

You want Pesci's character to live long enough to tell his tale.

You want Clay Shaw to be convicted.

You empathize with the gang (when Rooker's hothead character snaps and leaves) and Garrison's family (please let them make it through this).

All the actors are great, but two scenes stand out, even above these. Of course, there is Costner in the court, particularly his ending speech. And the scenes where Donald Sutherland makes Costner realise just how far this thing really went. This type of monologue puts the cherry on top of epic.

A movie made for those people who still get a lump in their throat on november 22nd or when thinking of the figure JFK and what he stood for.

And for cinephiles in general, it's worth going out of your way in order to see it. Just keep in mind that the running time is 3.5 hours.

Don’t Look Down 1998 ★★

My DVD blocked somewhere in the middle and I was no too motivated to go on.

Billy Burke delivers a decent performance, so he gets the movie its second star. And I'm sure the director did what he could on this budget.

But the green screen during the death scene was a bit too obvious and the flashbacks/hallucinations were the same levels of silly as the truck in the Nicolas Cage version of The Wicker Man.

Maybe I'll pick up later to see if it picks up. Hopes are not all that high.

Tommy Jarvis

06-18-2023, 07:44 AM

Chasing Sleep 2000 ★★★

A movie for those people who complained that Seven was too cheerful and sunny. I mean, goodness gracious.

On the plus side, it is entertaining and well done with the small budget it probably had. And I got to see a completely different side of Jeff Daniels. That's nice too.

Room 731 2015 ★★★½

An interesting short about a Japanese doctor Mengele type figure and his experiments, which are shown in a surreal, nightmarish atmosphere.

At first, he seems to get away with it. Before then getting a supernatural comeuppance.

Short enough so that the waste of time simply does not apply here. Hence worth checking out.

M3GAN 2022 ★★★½

My first recent release of the year in cinema. And it was certainly enjoyable.

This movie achieved a lot of the goals set by the Child's Play remake with Mark Hamill and did better. The whole technology thing is fleshed out better and looks more believable. M3gan and her grasp of technology look more believable than remake Chucky.

I also liked the performances. Allison Williams shows her versatility as the awkward aunt Gemma. And can you blame her? All of a sudden, she goes from a life with nerds, work and Tinder to taking responsability for a child. No mean feat.

So, the same way my generation's parents plopped us in front of the tv, she goes the extra mile and invents a perfect friend for Cady. With a solid "what have I done"-moment and an end with a saviour not unlike the ED209.

Sadly, the flaws are the same as with the average PG13-horror. Afraid to go further in the creepiness and kills that could have been great if they were more explicit. Maybe a place for the sequel to pick up?

FryeDwight

06-19-2023, 12:07 AM

Thanks for the compliment. Would you recommend the book?
It's at least worth one read.

HIRED GUN (2016). Very enjoyable doc about the musicians who play on sessions or form the touring personnel for an established performer. They are expected to be on the "A" game every time, not much recognition, pay can be dicey and not much in the way of job security.

Many interviews with established "Guns" like Rudy Sarzo (Quiet Riot, Ozzy Osbourne-very soulful interview with him), Kenny Aronoff (John Mellencamp, John Fogarty), Ray Parker Jr, Steve Lukather, Liberty DeVito (Billy Joel), Derek St Holmes (Ted Nugent), Eric Singer (Black Sabbath, Badlands, Alice Coper and currently KISS), Jason Hook (Hillary Duff, Five Finger Death Punch)and Nita Strauss (Alice Cooper, Demi Lovato).

From watching this, it seems that working for Alice Cooper and Pink would be the ideal gig to land, both artists have had the same lineup for years. But if You are a Billy Joel fan, don't watch this-He does not come off well AT ALL.

Similar to STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN, 20 FEET FROM STARDOM and THE WRECKING CREW, all three which I recommend. ****

Tommy Jarvis

06-23-2023, 11:30 PM

It's at least worth one read.

HIRED GUN (2016). Very enjoyable doc about the musicians who play on sessions or form the touring personnel for an established performer. They are expected to be on the "A" game every time, not much recognition, pay can be dicey and not much in the way of job security.

Many interviews with established "Guns" like Rudy Sarzo (Quiet Riot, Ozzy Osbourne-very soulful interview with him), Kenny Aronoff (John Mellencamp, John Fogarty), Ray Parker Jr, Steve Lukather, Liberty DeVito (Billy Joel), Derek St Holmes (Ted Nugent), Eric Singer (Black Sabbath, Badlands, Alice Coper and currently KISS), Jason Hook (Hillary Duff, Five Finger Death Punch)and Nita Strauss (Alice Cooper, Demi Lovato).

From watching this, it seems that working for Alice Cooper and Pink would be the ideal gig to land, both artists have had the same lineup for years. But if You are a Billy Joel fan, don't watch this-He does not come off well AT ALL.

Similar to STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN, 20 FEET FROM STARDOM and THE WRECKING CREW, all three which I recommend. ****

First thought: this has to be on Tubi. And... son of a bitch, it is.::big grin::

Tommy Jarvis

06-23-2023, 11:33 PM

Trick 2019 ★★½

An overall decent slasher with some good kills here and there. With one particular kill reaching Final Destination-levels of convolutedness, but okay. The killer had a nice looking mask, which is always a plus too. And his facepaint made him look like the guy on the box cover of The Purge: Anarchy.

His motivations are never really clear. At one point, I sensed a bit of a Columbine-like vibe in his motives (the outsider with no sense of belonging), but it turns out it's just evil. Omar Epps was pretty good as the obsessed cop.

The ludicrous reveal at the end and the too obvious sequel bait keep it from its third star.

Only for slasher fans looking for a bit more gore than the average PG13 tripe.

The Andy Baker Tape 2021 ★★★

This is an enjoyable FF. Like a lot of entries in the genre, it takes its good time to set up and get going.

Personally, I don't feel the creepiness right away. On the contrary. Until the “towel scene”, Andy does not come across as creepy. And are we supposed to feel sorry for Jeff? Because he comes across as smug and arrogant and aggressive. Andy perhaps looks inept in front of a camera and a tad klutzy at times, but that's also because Jeff placed him in a position where a lot of people would look bad.

Therefor, I cannot really follow the comparisons with Creep that I see here. The cameraman in Creep never really “asked for it”, whereas here, you can make a case for the theory that Jeff pushed/helped push Andy over the edge. However close Andy may have already been at the start of the movie. Also, the performance Mark Duplass delivered in Creep is head and shoulders above these two. Which is more of a compliment to him than a detriment to these two guys.

Once it gets going, it does pick up enough steam to keep you involved. Especially the scene with the injection needle and the ending are adequately creepy. And that's what you watch a found footage for. Would have been cool if they had been able to raise a bit of extra budget to hire a make up artist and add some gore. Bit of torture porn. With Andy taking a page from 24.

No top-5 material for me, but certainly not the worst in the genre. For fans of slow burns and found footage. And I'm guessing those two are (kind of) the same, lol.

Penance Lane 2020 ★½

Scout Taylor-Compton reunites with Tyler Mane, over 10 years after the Rob Zombie Halloween. Except that now, instead of trying to kill her, he somehow is fond of her and protects her.

A by the numbers monster movie about a gang with a stronghold on a small town. And their hills have eyes-ish henchmen. And the sheriff is corrupt and his son is a douchebag. Tyler Mane is not terrible and there are small parts for Booker T and DDP.

Tommy Jarvis

06-23-2023, 11:41 PM

Dual 2018 ★★★★

This short by Justin Staggs was a lot of fun.

It wasted no time whatsoever and used its 10 minute runtime very well. The monsters were well designed (especially the bear looked amazing), their origin is not overly explained and the ending was pretty funny.

Look out for it on Youtube.

Train 2008 ★★★

Thora Birch stars in this torture porn flick that prides itself as being similar to Hostel and Saw. Hostel is clear because of the torture scenes involving the surgery and the gore. The similarities to the latter are a bit foggy to me, as the villains are not really John Kramer-smart.

We follow a team of American wrestlers on their way to a tournament in Odessa, Ukraine. On the way there, they have to take the train through places with vague Slavic accents that are ten to one not realistic. They themselves do the Greek-Roman type of wrestling, but they still manage to have heel intelligence and Roman Reigns level likability. The scene with the guy running down the hall “naked” was predictable and I wonder why they did not think of having “what's my age again” on the soundtrack. Nice swerve, though, with the guy who looked like a relative of Denis Leary. Throw a bit of shade on him in the beginning and then make him one of the least douchy characters. Nice job.

I enjoyed seeing a genuine gorefest, though. Apart from torture porn and a few other exceptions, that has become pretty rare in the age of ghosties, haunted dolls and ditto houses. Contrary to lesser entries in this style, the script at least tries to give the villains a type of motivation (helping sick people and what not) and gives the final girl a “don't you feel like a total dick right now”-moment.

The gore and the effects were well executed and had one or two good fight scenes. I also liked how the “responsable coach” is the first one to die. More than a few bits (like the scene with the hook and the corrupt soldiers) are however pretty predictable and the foreshadowing on the wrestling are pretty on the nose too. And the ending scene with the wrestling match? Either you cut it all together or you show her really going her all out on her opponent. Now you end up with half assed stuff that does not help anyone.

Overall enjoyable, though. For those who feel like their inner gorehound has not been fed for a while.

Backstroke 2017 ★★★½

I have to admit that I am getting more and more into these horror shorts. Straight to the point, no messing about.

We follow two young runaway lovers who flee to Florida. As a voicemail message at the start of the film suggests, following some sort of family altercation between a rebellious daughter named Amber and a meddling/overbearing mother. Maybe after she shit the bed. Who knows?

Now skinny dipping has never been the best idea in the world when you are in a horror film, but I do like how they use it here.

It creates a nice dynamic between the girl in the water and the creepy guy on the shore. Right from the start, you can tell that he is up to no good. Props to the actress for the way her character tries to hide her insecurity and unease. Not to mention the fear surrounding the fate of her boyfriend. You can sense the tension throughout the scene, especially as her attempts to gain the upper hand fail.

A nice short film with a solid payoff. You get what you expect.

Tommy Jarvis

06-23-2023, 11:43 PM

The Last Matinee 2020 ★★★★

Latino Giallo
Ah-ha-ha-ho
Scooping out eyeballs
Ah-ha-ha-ho
Girlie so groovie
Ah-ha-ha-ho
Don't know about you
But I am un chien Montevideo

Thanks Pixies.

Dracula 2000 2000 ★★

Bland, forgettable vampire film that does not really add anything.

But it was nice to see Jonny Lee Miller. As a character called Simon. Again.

How about that?

Room 441 2020 ★½

Found footage at its most dull.

Something is not creepy just because you say it is.

There is no real build up and the scared screaming at the end does not make up for that.

Tommy Jarvis

06-23-2023, 11:48 PM

Reservoir Dogs 1992 ★★★★★

30 years after its first release, Tarantino's debut still stands as a genuine masterpiece. From the opening Madonna-banter to the final shootout.

It wastes no time in setting up the tension between the main characters. Who's the rat? Who set us up? The genius in the robbery - they don't know each other, so they can't tell on each other - now works against them. They don't know each other, so they can't trust each other. With one poignant dialogue between mister Pink and mister White as an example of Tarantino's infamous writing. In that aspect, I like the fact that they used the opening scene to set up mister Pink as a bit of a dick. As a viewer, you unconsciously take that baggage with you and side with mister White, even though mister Pink, from a a rational point of view, is right.

And of course, there is the infamous torture scene showing off both Quentin's love for excessive violence and the amazing soundtracks that would continue to dominate his movies. The opening shot with George Baker... yeah baby. Or Madsen into the cut off ear: was it as good for you as it was for me? I thought that was kind of funny. Also, who would not want to drive to and from work with K-Billy's sounds of the seventies?

Another thing I noticed was the smart casting. I know the guy playing mister Blue was a real life criminal, but no seasoned actor. So he does not get much lines and just looks the part. And he does give himself a part, but keeps his part to the thing he is good at: spouting pop culture banter. The people who have to ensure the tension and the credibility (Keitel, Buscemi, Madsen) are all seasoned pros delivering a great performance. Also, this seems like one of the better Tim Roth performances, but that might just be me. Though it did not really make sense to me why he outed himself as a cop at the end. What are your thoughts on these questions?

Two random thoughts:
1) Michael Madsen plays Vic Vega, the supposed brother of Travolta's character in Pulp Fiction. I recall Tarantino had plans for a movie about the two of them, but I'm not sure if that ever really became more than pie in the sky.
2) Between this one and Con Air, Steve Buscemi already had two roles as the sleazebag who somehow weasels through the mazes and gets away and he's pretty good at it.

Five star classic.

Terrifier 2016 ★★★★

After seeing articles about the commotion on the sequel (handing out barf bags, whooptidoo), I got around to watching the first one. One of those let's find out what all the hoopla is about- nights.

Honestly, this turned out to be a very pleasant surprise. What stops me from giving five stars is the lack of plot, resulting in too many characters that in other franchises would be described as randos. Let's drop in a few more characters so that Art has somebody more to kill. That sort of thing.

That said... I loved it. The main asset to this movie is the amazing looking killer. That Art is one scary dude. Masterfully shown in his staredown with Tara at the start. Or the lackadaisical, Jasonesque walk, showing off how much he feels in control. For me, this is also the reason why the jump scares are done so well in this movie. More than once, Art popping up out of nowhere really gives a fright.

And the kills are awesome. Just the type of bloodiness I was looking for, with Jason levels of variation and beyond. Art never repeats himself, so I'll give the gun kill a pass.

I get the criticism on how the movie is mean spirited, but this did not bother me all that much. The snark never became annoying and the dialogue never veered into Rob Zombie-territory. Just kids being kids and getting into all sorts of shenanigans.

Good stuff for the people who don't expect more than a decent hamburger.

Red Letter Day 2019 ★★

Not sure why or how, but I just got a bland collection of graduation day songs, with often easy and lazy sarcasm, going over the highschool stereotypes.

The second star is for the one or two chuckles this got from me.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 12:06 AM

Terror Train 2022 ★★★

A pretty faithfull remake of the late seventies slasher with Jamie Lee Curtis, with a few updates for this generation. Even the kills follow a rather similar pattern. The mask the killer wore was a bit too Pennywise-obvious scary clown for my liking, but this comes from someone who is a big fan of the Groucho Marx-mask in the original.

The actors were okay. Not that they were bad at all, but to say that anyone stood out would be exadurated either. Robyn Alomar could make for a good scream queen. From what I remember, they made Doc's douchiness more explicit than in the original and Matias Garrido portrayed that well.

The makers add a bit of a twist to the end, but one shot at the start of that scene lets the cat out the bag and spoils the surprise. Besides, you mostly watch slashers for the kills and those are well done. Bloody, while remaining faithfull to the original. And Doc gets the spectacular kill the viewer roots for. Also cool to name the killer Kenny. If I had a dollar for every screening where someone in the theater screamed out the South Park-line(s) … Also, in this time with movies filled to the rim with references, a character named Mo should be killed on screen with the killer going “whee-ee!”

A fun flick for a weekend evening. I've seen (a lot) worse.

Butterfly Kisses 2018 ★★★★

Buterfly Kisses is one of the best found footages I have recently seen and one of the better entries in the subgenre overall.

Its biggest qualiy is how it shows Gavins growing frustration at the disbelief and scepticism he encounters.

The jump scares were well executed, the makers manage to build up the fear surrounding the Peeping Tom and the scene where Sophia takes a desperate measure was pretty intense.

The Stepfather 2009 ★

The type of unnecessary remake that's still released, because... money. And that fans like me watch, because... it's on Netflix and I have a subscription.

It does not really add anything to the original and only delivers a watered down version of the opening scene and the Who am I here-moment. I'm sure Dylan Walsh is a good actor, but his performance has nothing on Terry O'Quinn.

Oh yeah, and Amber Heard was in this one.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 12:08 AM

The Murmuring 2022 ★★★★

A worthy conclusion to Guillermo Del Toro's Cabinet of curiosities. With an entry proving that horror can very much be an actor's medium. The two actors share a very good chemistry as a loving couple immersed in their work. Both the meet cute glances and the understanding are well portrayed, as well as their growing frustration once they move into the house on the island. Not all that surprising when you find out who the two leads are and where they earned their chops.

The haunted house story was ok, but you could tell it was a bit more in the background in favor of the couple mourning the loss of their child. I'm also sure the birds have some sort of metaphorical value, but I cannot think of what just now.

And there you have it. Guillermo Del Toro's Cabinet of curiosities. Not saying they're all zingers, but the hits certainly outweigh the misses enough to check it out. Looking forward to a possible season 2.

Slut 2014 ★★★

Not really sure what the slut in the title is getting at. The best thing I can think of is that it serves as an eyecatcher or that the girls are sluts in the eyes of the killer. Other than that …

Maddie – need a little touch up work, my ass – is the type of movie ugly girl who stays at home taking care of her sick grandma. She then ventures out into the world and blossoms, both personally and sexually.

Meanwhile, our killer and his methods are introduced. Not very explicit, but sure as shit brutal. The confrontation between Maddie and the killer is action packed, with a predictable reveal and a nice case of premature celebration.

Good stuff. Available on the Alter channel on YT.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 01:59 AM

At this point, there's about four months of catching up left to do. ::shocked::

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 11:00 PM

The Black Phone 2021 ★★

Overhyped and overrated.

Ethan Hawke's mask looked good, though.

Fight for Your Right Revisited 2011 ★★★★

A pretty funny sequel to the classic music video for "Fight for your right". The "Beastie Boys" keep up the shenanigans in a comedy short featuring an impressive cameorama. See how many celebs you recognize.

Must watch for Beastie Boys fans. And it's available on Youtube.

She Walks the Woods 2019 ★★½

The trailer intrigued me and the opening looks promising. I mean, how can it not with a group of paintballers/soldiers/generic men in kaki clothing either chasing or being chased by something. A quite Aliens-like scene come to think of it. except that there is no Ripley monitoring and by the end, everyone is dead.

The downside: afterwards, it's followed by a by the numbers found footage flick about a group of survivalists creating a web series (your excuse to keep filming). They go filming with a former classmate of one of them, a guy named Dennis. Turns out she is more interested in Dennis than in the series. Fair enough.

But this might be useful in the tension. Now the most use they get out of this subplot is that Mike and Brad seem less eager to save Dennis and rebound on Hope. The movie also never shows how they find the footage of the opening scene. While that could well serve as (one of) the first wtf-moment(s).

Does that make it all bad? Of course not. For the little we see of it, they get a good looking monster. With a limited budget, they also managed to squeeze in one or two solid gore effects. That's notable in a genre like found footage.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 11:02 PM

The Dollmaker 2017 ★★★

I've noticed this one has been getting positive reviews here. Not saying that it's bad, but I do have more of a case of mixed feelings about it.

It has a good pitch – with a (slight) parallel to Pet Semetary: a character can not let go of a loved one and finds a replacement in a doll. Near the end, there is a totally unexpected twist that really throws you off balance.

Sadly, having this story confined to the duration of short film perhaps puts a strain on it. Now the one dialogue about letting go comes across as forced. As if they want to cram a lot of wisdom in a ten minute short. It seems to me that you can make a feature film out of this. With a lot more space for the build up, for character development, the isolation that are living in or get into,...

Good stuff, though. Thumbs up.

Chris Rock: Selective Outrage 2023 ★★★★

I would like to start off by looking for a word. What do you call that? You are wondering what to do, what to watch. You have playlists and watchlists to last you for more than a year. Hell, at the time of writing, one YT-playlist can pretty much suffice there. But then something catches your eye. Something everyone is talking about and you are drawn in, wether you want to or not. It happened to me with Leaving Neverland and it did with this one. And my lizard brain is too weak to resist the urge to watch it as much as it is to come up with a term for this shit.

Do I like Chris Rock? Yeah, I do. Certainly as a comedian. It's easy to recall bits of his that I liked verymuch: the bullet control bit, the rap bit,... And he is enough of a showman to know what everyone wants to hear about. So he keeps it until the end. And at the same time, he drips in little lines to keep you invested. Oh, it's coming, folks. It's coming, alright.

Throughout all that, he goes through a whole series of topics. The Kardashians, woke, his relationship with his daughters, children, his dating life,... To quote his colleague Jerry Seinfeld: the laughs don't lie. And Chris Rock gets a lot of laughs. From me as well. Sometimes a chuckle and sometimes a hearty laugh. And that's what it's all about. Getting laughs.

Wether you agree with him philosophically or politically, is secondary. And I wonder if there's any point in trying to go into the essence of the incident. Bill Maher already used his “explaining jokes to idiots” segment to brilliantly explain what was going on. That the GI Jane joke was much about alopecia as the chicken crossing the road jokes are about bird flu. Some people did not get that back then. Some people still don't. And some people never will.

And I think Chris Rock understood that. He's not there to get applause or make friends, he's there to get laughs. And he gets those, so... mission accomplished.

Natural Born Killers 1994 ★★★★

In the final stretch towards its thirtieth anniversary, Natural Born Killers still stands as a visually stunning masterpiece and a document of its time. Its message about glorifying people who should not be also still stands, certainly in the age of 4chan and what not. Also, the mental image of Mickey and Mallory asking you to “like and subscribe” should be enough to keep this one from getting a reboot.

The actors all do an amazing job. Woody Harrelson starts venturing away from the happy go lucky role in Cheers by delivering a career defining performance. RDJ is simply great as Wayne Gale. Juliette Lewis shines as Mallory. A bit of a glance of innocence on her face, a bit traumatized, a bit weird, a bit funny, a bit undefinable,... Fun fact: it was only when going thorugh imdb that I noticed that the actress playing Mallory's mom also was the school secretary in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Also: Is this the creepiest Rodney Dangerfield ever?

A genuine rollercoaster ride of a movie, enhanced by the great editing and the amazing soundtrack. Hard to name a scene that stands out, but Woody Harrelson shooting up a prison with Rage against the machine blasting away in the background certainly makes for a good candidate. One of those great symbioses of image and sound. Also: between this one and Shaun of the dead, there are at least two great films to have L7 on the soundtrack. How about that?

Great cinema and well worth a (re)watch.

Ps: RIP Tom Sizemore.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 11:06 PM

Frozen 2010 ★★★★

One of those horrors that shows how you can make a lot from what like seems like very little. Sadly, also forever doomed to live in the shadow of its animated counterpart.

Three friends gets stuck on a skilift and have to find a way off before the cold and frostbite kill them. That's it. That's all there is to it. The set up is not really noteworthy, so it all has to come from this.

That said, it worked out well. What keeps me from going in and giving the full five stars? The story could not help but lag a bit sometimes and the heart to hearts between Parker and Joe were not all that captivating. You could tell they needed something to bridge the time until another action set piece. And the script did not really seize the opportunity to use props on hand to the extent that movies like Fall and The Pool did.

Does that mean it was poorly acted? I certainly would not go that far. The leads make the friction and unspoken tension between them believable. It's enough to make you care for them and what happens to them. And it has a Kane Hodder-cameo, which always adds to the fun.

What matters though, are the action bits and they certainly work. The gore is used sparsely, but effectively. Although I have never suffered from frostbite, the effects looked credible and the bit with Parker and her hand looked pretty damn painful.

The action bits, however... they keep you on the edge of your seat, biting your nails. Like when Joe tries to crawl over to the next pole. I sat on the edge of my seat, rooting for him to make it. Or them debating wether or not to let Dan jump off. Stupid decision, sure. But hey, every horror film is entitled to one, I guess. Or the bit when Parker finally reaches the ground. It's been a while a movie managed to do that and for that alone, I already recommend seeing it. Mostly for horror afficionados. But judging from the box office returns, this gem already found an audience. Deservedly.

And I cannot finish this without a quick mention for the production company. A bigger boat. With the yellow Jaws-barrel and everything. Ah yeah. Great stuff. Mark out moment.

Raw 2016 ★★★★

I went in for a rewatch and boy, did it not disappoint.

Would it be an understatement to place Raw in the pantheon of Euro horror classics? I think not. If [Rec] has its place there – and why the f*** not, really? – then this one has too.

From the very first shot, you are in this surreal, dreamlike state. Julia Ducournau immediately shows why she has the potential to become the new David Cronenberg.

I love how she uses the cannibalism as a metaphor for discovering yourself: who you are, your sexuality, your nature, your character,... As an example, there is the contrast between the mousy outfit in which Justine arrives in college and the dance in front of a bathroom mirror to a rap song I can only describe as French Peaches.

I wonder how much the hazing ritual was chosen on purpose. Knowing that the French language does not (really) distinguish between a hazing and a baptism, the metaphor for coming of age, rebirth and discovery are not difficult to see. But Julia Ducournau also manages to create an isolated atmosphere where Justine and Alexia live in a world completely different from the sheltered family life they are used to. And yes, this has to be the worst campus in the world, but okay. Fine.

Justine's discovery starts after being force fed a raw kidney. With her sister turning against her – wonder what Freud or other psychologists think of that. As someone who enjoys meat – and LOVES a good rack of spare ribs – I do find it striking how quickly her track goes. From shoarma to raw chicken and then... Well, what else is left but human meat? I mean, once you had the stuff that all other things taste like, where else is there to go? Lol.

Short answer: from chicken legs to human fingers. In a scene that genuinely made me squirm when I first saw it in a theater and still makes me unconfortable as hell. Great job, love.

Throughout all of this, she finds an odd kind of mentorship in both her sister Alexia and her roommate Adrien. Who is introduced with the kind of dialogue that would have a lot of other directors burned at the stake. Adrien is the closest thing to a friend Justine has at this campus. Both outcasts in their own particular way who somehow find solace in each other's company.

Justine quickly becomes isolated from the other students. Not that her own actions (the make green scene) or those of her sister are helpful either, but okay. And the one professor we see over the course of the film is the one who hates brilliant students. Gee, thanks. Tah muchly, professor.

The reveal at the end is a tad predictable. Once the father starts talking, you pretty much know what's coming. But it is well executed and the resultuing imagery is both beautiful and bewildering. Making for probably the most Cronenberg-esque shot of this movie, an image reminiscent of Crimes of the future.

Did I mention that this movie is awesome? And that you should really see it?

The Lonely Host 2020 ★★★½

An interesting short that uses modern day technology and possibilities to its advantage.

A woman rents an airbnb on her way to visit a friend. We never see said friend and all their conversations occur via text (with seemingly accurate spelling, mind you). She uses her phone as a light. Long story short: if you are annoyed by that kind of stuff, it's probably best to skip this one.

But before you do, consider this: if you manage to look past all ofthe technology, the story at the core and the dynamic between the two main characters is as timeless as any horror story. Olivia, torn between awkwardness and wanting to be nice. And her host, who for some reason reminded me of AOC. Well, the Cathy Bates Misery-version of AOC. So lonely and desperate to reach out to other people that it can very easily look threatening.

Fun stuff and it only takes up roughly 15 minutes of your time. Check it out.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 11:10 PM

Room for Rent 2019 ★★½

I seem to be a bit more mild/less though than my fellow critics. Mostly because I like how Lin Shaye portrayed the sadness and the loneliness of the main character. At first, you really feel for her. Good idea to add the selfish boyfriend in an early scene. Good move.

That said, it does have the flaws of a low budget production. The story had a few flaws here and there. Not everything makes sense. And the acting is what you pay for. But I kind of enjoyed the transition from sad to mad, even leaving open wether or not her late husband died of natural circumstances.

Not great and no list material. But enjoyable nonetheless.

The Haunted Hotel 2021 ★★

Haunted house anthology with a case of too much.

Too many stories, too speedy follow-up and no time to catch your breath.

Trim down the number of stories (keep the writer and the chamber maid and 2, maybe 3 others), flesh out the stories that you keep and make work of a decent wrap around story.

M.O.M. Mothers of Monsters 2020 ★½

This is a dollar store version of We need to talk about Kevin where the found footage style adds nothing whatsoever.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 11:12 PM

The 50 Best Horror Movies You’ve Never Seen 2014 ★★★

A fun little overview of good (and less good) horror movies. A lot of talking heads, but you can tell that they love the genre.

A fun game is ticking off a check to see how many of these you saw (at the time I am only around 12).

Enjoyable for what it is and bound to provide you with some viewing material.

Ps: I was sick at the time and needed something I could fall asleep to.

The Belko Experiment 2016 ★★½

A fun little romp about a fictitious company named Belko that locks in all of its employees on a blue whatever day. And then makes clear that their mission is killing each other.

Oh, first, it's only two. Sure. But the more fast witted people in the ranks immediately figure out the long game.

The characters reach across the spectre from the main baddie who kills to survive to all rood good guy Mike. But the main heel is Wendell. A grade-a a-hole who you cannot trust under any circumstances. Lacks the courage to take responsability but will kill his friend to save his own hide.

No fancy dinner but okay for what it is.

Hatchet 2006 ★★★★

Hatchet is a solid slasher that delivers on all the levels. Wether it's on the kills or the gore, it never fails to deliver. I have to say that that's a nice pace of change after a slew of PG 13 slashers where some of the kills were hardly more than a paper cut.

The star, of course, is Kane Hodder. He makes Victor Crowley look properly menacing and scary and even gets to expand a tad on his acting in the few scenes as Victors's father.

This is no Shakespeare, nor does it want to be. Hatchet knows what it wants to be and the people behind it know how that's done. Good job, mates.

Tommy Jarvis

06-24-2023, 11:18 PM

Elvira’s Haunted Hills 2001 ★★★

The missing link between Young Frankenstein and Scary Movie sees a crossover between Morticia Adams and The Nanny get into all sorts of shenanigans in a haunted castle.

No brilliant comedy, but good for a few laughs.

The Den 2013 ★★★

You immediately buy into the premise of the happy go lucky college girl who just seems to roll her way through life and into new adventures. So she talks/charms her way into this project about on line culture and you're happy for her when she gets the grant. Throughout all of this, the fact that Melanie Papalia is not hard on the eye does not hurt the credibility either, but it's more a case of good casting rather than just good looks.

This is one of the undeniable qualities this movie has. You sympathize with the main character, it has a number of creepy moments and the ending does manage to surprise you a time or two. Right at the moment when you think “this extra scene is redundant, we can just stop right here, right now”, the story goes a different route. Specific mention: at one point, I expected a Megan is missing-like torture scene to ensue but it somehow turned into an action movie henchmen scene without being laughable. So yes, The Den does a lot of things well.

It's not a FF classic, though. For one, you simply need too much suspension of disbelief to be immersed on that level. Not to mention the practical objections (“why didn't she just...”). And it also does not help that I spent a good chunk of this movie thinking that this could have been perfectly filmed in the “regular” or “traditional” style and that it could have been a solid low budget horror as well.

Knowing 2009 ★★

The Cagemeister and the end of the world? Sign me up.

It was well done and the disaster scenes looked pretty explicit and cool. The type of fire stunts you don't see that often in this type of blockbuster. Compare to the average Emmerich production and you'll see what I mean. And Cage does a good job, keeping the Cage spazzing and screaming to a minimum.

That said, it had a lot of the topical blockbuster tripel, a wuuuh?-finale and a sappy farewell scene.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:12 PM

World War Z 2013 ★★½

On a rewatch, my impressions remain largely the same.

I don't know if it was meant to be a faithfull rendition of the book and I am not sure if it matters. This is meant to be a blockbuster with Brad Pitt as the badass hero who saves the world. And on that level, it kind of works. With only small tidbits of information being dripfed in the beginning, they quickly make it clear how serious the situation is. The attacks are well done and the action scenes – like the one on the plane to Cardiff – are pretty spectacular.

Needless to say, the plotholes are pretty obvious. And convenient stuff is convenient. And Brad escapes from a lot of stuff in ways that require a lot of suspension of disbelief. Example? The zombie wall against the wall is one thing. But a country alert enough to build a wall in record time that's not noticing this shit soon enough to pull the plug on that mic and tell these people to stfu? That's a bit too much.

That said, Brad Pitt can be an action hero and he does have the charisma to deliver the cheesy pancake lines. Most of the other characters are pretty forgettable in the bigger scheme of things, but they should get their proper due. Mireille Enos – who I for some reason always mix up with Julianne Moore – does a solid job as the wife. I also liked the performance by the actor playing Thierry. Also worth mentioning are small parts for Peter Capaldi and Moritz Bleibtrau.

Recommended? Only with enough beer and a nacho hat... and if you sing Nacho Man.

Nacho nacho man! I want to be! A nacho man!

Vengeance 2: Bloodlines 2022 ★★★★

For an average movie fan with little to no prior knowledge of the Friday-series, this might not be all that great. But as a piece of fan fiction, it's a ball of fun. For a Friday-fan, this is awesome.

The makers get to go all out on the gore and they really go to the levels of Dead Snow and Hatchet. Special mentions? Too many to mention. The stop sign kill, the pick axe kill,... Just the sheer number of times people are literally torn apart. Zombie Jason at it. And I am all here for it.

Needless to say, there are plenty of nods for the fans of the original series. Like the logo imitating part 2, or the cold opening with the origin of Burlap sack Jason. Or Nikki from part 6 driving in an RV because she's on her way to a bachelor party and... Who am I kidding? Because it's awesome, simple as that.

The characters are mostly forgettable and often times just help raise the body count. With a special mention for the Dollyrots-ish garage band. They looked cool. And Jason kills someone with a guitar because of course he does. Wow, talk about a blunt instrument.

A point of criticism? Having heard CJ Graham's voice, I don't really see the need to modulate it for the voice of Elias or what it added to the scene.

But that's all nitpicking. The fun is lapping up the gory kills and scanning the scenes for subtle (or less subtle) references to the original movies. And this one has plenty of that.

So head on over to YT and check it out.

The Good People of Orphan Ridge 2023 ★★

Indie band with big dreams ends up in a haunted house where they want to record their “last hurrah”. Please make your own parallel with a similar bigger recent release.

The key word here is discount.

The band has a bit of a discount Tenacious D vibe. Especially Day has the Jack Black vibe going on.

The coffee bar scenes are discount Scott Pilgrim. A fight scene with Molly is even a bit more on the nose. Also, the girls in this movie look and sound like they were based on a hybrid on Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza.

Does that make it bad? Not... really. It has a few good and sometimes even sweet moments.

So there are things to enjoy. Just don't go in expecting too much.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:14 PM

Lucy’s Tale 2018 ★★★½

I love how the first half makes it look like a low budget version, only to then pull a (gradual) swerve on you.

And there's a lovely pun in ... oh, I don't want to spoil anything. Just head over to youtube and check it out. The blinder, the better.

Grace 2009 ★★½

While the idea is indeed promising, the execution leaves things to be desired.

The ending shows where things could have gone. However, it takes its sweet time to get really going and the meddling mother in law subplot was milked (no pun intended) a bit too much.

The teething line opens up possibilities for a subplot, but to use that line as a showstopper? Nah.

He’s Watching 2022 ★½

Can you make a found footage(ish) film with an artsy feel to it? Yes.

Does it work? Not really.

On the upside: They have the brother sister banter down and a few creepy moments throughout the film. In fact, one or two of the better moments look like they could go on the home videos in Sinister. And we get a good looking villain (that we hardly see, but okay).

Those just drown in scenes that go nowhere and filmschool student what-the-fuckery.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:18 PM

Feast 2005 ★★½

A stand off in a dive with Tremors-ish creatures out for blood. A premise that reeks of no budget until you find who's behind it. That also helps explain why they can afford people like Henry Rollins and Judah Friendlander. Heck, even Mewes gets a small part. Best of all, they're not even mentioned on the box cover.

It's exactly the type of campy, self aware romp you would expect. No character depth, but nobody's asking. A lot of kick ass action and bits of gore here and there. And the funny gimmick of introducing the characters with stats and their respective life expectancy. A movie that begs for popcorn, weed and stoner Beavis and Butthead style giggling.

Anything notworthy? We get to see Judah Friendlander without his trademark cap and Rollins is his usual intense self, going all in as an annoying and (slightly) skeevy motivational coach.

Kalley’s Last Review 2020 ★★½

A desperate beauty vlogger jumps at every opportunity. This one, in hindsight, being fatal.

And instead of going to see a real doctor when things awry, she goes through with the peeling and mucking about coconut oil. Guess those oils are essential then? Or more essential than trained medical care?

Oh well.

The Mare 2020 ★★★½

The opening of this Norwegian film probably decides how you feel about it. Either you feel that the dream in a dream in a dream-sequence is Freddy's Dead-levels of silly and decide that this is not for you. Or you stick with it and let it get to you. I did the latter.

The most commendable thing about The Mare is the eerie atmosphere that the makers managed to create in an otherwise peaceful little town. And the unreal mood inside the house. Where you don't even have to sleep to find nightmare fodder.

Which best reflects in the characters. Sure, the dad is your typical absent father. And leaving your son in a house where his (dead by suicide) mother lived, where her diary is,... That's not the best decision making either. But the grandmother is worked out well in a sense that you never really know what to think of her. Is she out to help Liam or to torture him? Is one half of this in his hallucinations and if so, which one? Or what about the grandpa? Dementia out the fucking wazoo, but keeps coming up with this line about not losing yourself.

Not to mention Liam himself. His descent into madness coincides with the movie's tone becoming more and more surreal. I don't want to spoil the ending, but suffice it to say that it's not all that roses.

A pleasant surprise, but it will not make you cheerful.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:22 PM

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds 2008 ★★

Sloppy seconds. Well, sloppy is an apt term here.

Second star is for the last 30 minutes. At times, it seemed like the monsters were an aftertought in their own frikking movie.

Evil Dead Rise 2023 ★★★★½

The stars aligned.

When you get a premiere so big and fat that the organizers do the whole pouches thing that's normally reserved for the Chris Rocks of this world. The multiplexes have the big posters out – coming soon! – but we're getting a headstart.

Not to mention the fact that it's the type of splatstick-ish gorefest best consumed with this type of rowdy crowd.

I'm not sure what speaks more in this movie's favor:

The opening sequence being a real close shave. Or the bridge at the end. But how are they going to... Oo-ooh...

The fact that the change in setting does not distract or annoy at no point whatsoever

The fact that the producers live up to their word and move to a genuine highrise apartment building (looking at you, Critters 3)

The fact that a DJ is to blame for everything – boomer rockers with Rush-shirts be like: Thank you! That's what I've been saying! – and that the Necronomicon moved to vinyl. Also, worst... Coachella... ever.

The fact that one scene manages to at the same time deliver a message against both running with scissors and picking your nose.

The fact that it deserves a place between the first two entries.

…

A super rollercaster ride. Top-5 contender to be sure.

Jobs 2013 ★★½

Do I know enough to judge the factual aspects of this movie? No.

Do I know enough to say Ashton Kutcher has the mannerisms down? No.

You: So you don't know much then?
Me: Well, there are a few essential things that the makers don't seem to know eiher. Judging from all those close ups on Jobs while the wheels are clearly turning... shots asking you, no pushing you as a viewer to think: what IS going on inside of that big brain?

Then what do I know?

That Kutcher has the smile down.

That he succeeded in conveying a certain view on Jobs. In this movie, Jobs comes across (at least to me) as a punk with a big mouth, a short temper and just enough of everything. Just enough technical skill to do stuff. Just enough swag and bluff to talk himself in. Just enough modesty to realise when he has to bring in other people. And a bit of dumb luck at times.

Yes, they did not shy away from his douchy side. His ruthless side. But when it comes to biopics, that's usually just a way for the viewer to tell wether or not the subject was involved in the production.

As far ar as the story itself is concerned? It did three things. One: it hit all the biopic tropes with the big music at the dramatic moments. Two: It proved that it'ss difficult to keep stories on businessmen from sagging. And lastly: It kept reminding me of what Bill Burr once said on Conan: But did he? Did he... really?

Jobs. I didn't buy it.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:27 PM

Feast III: The Happy Finish 2009 ★★

A worthy conclusion to one of the ultimate beer, buddies and but franchises.

Sprinkled with buckets of blood and guts, a whole lot of f-bombs and other vulgarities and a few over the top wtf-moments, like a, for lack of a better word, prison rape or the death of Mini Rey Misterio.

To be watched with a lot of beer and/or other stimulants that are legal in your neck of the woods.

The Elderly 2022 ★★★★

This Spanish movie is about a lot of things. It's about body horror and who feels this fear of physical decay more than old people? It's also very vocal about other fears. One of the characters literally says: being old is frightening. Nobody listens, nobody cares. Or about family dynamics. I can imagine a few people will recognise themselves in other things, like the fear of not being accepted. Or the heatwaves. With Spain feeling a lot of the grunt of climate change, the rising temperatures are not just a storytelling metaphore, but also in my opinion mirrors a fear of dying from heat. Not enough hydration for a bit and you're a goner.

The plot centers around an old (very recent) widower moving in with his son and the wicked witch. Which is what she calls herself at one point, and seeing the applause that her death got when I saw this, you can safely assume that moniker is correct. Not that the grandfather is much better though. The spiteful remarks about “your wife doing everything better” are not exactly helping either.

The makers may claim that this is a slow burn, but it sure has plenty of moodful images and effective jump scares to tide you over. And the last twenty minutes do indeed deliver, with an unlikely rampage and an image that for some reason reminded of Village of the damned. Except that the danger here is not in the eyes, but in the hearts. Leading to a Gozerian like final with shots of dark clouds and lightning. And that last shot, dios mio. Trying not to spoil, but suffice it to say that I did not expect that. At all.

Four stars well deserved. And, needless to say, well recommended.

American Manhunt: The Boston Marathon Bombing 2023 ★★★

A three episode miniseries captures the Boston marathon bombing and the subsequent investigation and manhunt.

While it manages to convey the tragedy behind the event, the victims and their families, it's not as captivating as, say, Trainwreck.

However, it does succeed at properly showing a few other aspects, like the ensuing media circus and how certain figures claim the events for their own purposes.

For those who either want to knew more or refresh their memory. A neutral viewer has better true crime content at his disposal.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:29 PM

The Joneses 2009 ★★★½

Went in for a rewatch. It was pretty much what I remembered.

Stealth marketing, aka influencers before that was a thing. People using peer pressure to hock shit, taking advantage of the people who desperately want to belong with the in crowd. Even if it kills them.

The main quality is the cast. David Duchovny and Demi Moore share good chemistry, especially when they do (semi-)ironic banter. I like Duchovny and this movie reinforces my belief that he is an underrated actor.

Ben Wellington's Mick is not the deepest character, but Wellington does do a good job displaying the cynicism of the young salesman. Oh yeah, and Amber Heard is in this one, but she does not get anything real to do, except when she gets dumped by her rich boyfriend.

As a comedy, it worked for me. I got a few laughs from the back and forths between Duchovny and Moore and Jenn's sex scene where she hocks perfume is pretty funny too. Or the neighbour – a more ditsy version of Annette Benning's character in American Beauty – who desperately wants to sell stuff. It's funny to see how she gets overwhelmed by the professionals and in a way ends up riding their curtails, and even succeeding. Before she gets a very rude awakening.

Which brings us to Duchovny's Steve who then has a “solyent green is people” moment. In all fairness, I can see why they did this (probably to keep the audience from seeing it as “too dark”) and what it sets up. That said, there is a whiff of morality to it. Like we need to get the movie's lesson thrown in our face. That keeps the fourth star at bay.

Demi Moore and Kate's change of heart are perhaps a bit too Hollywood, but it does get pretty close to what reality would probably be like. Even if two important people quit and leave, it keeps rolling and the system keeps going. Even with the son saying he “does not have to lie anymore”.

She Knows 2020 ★★★

Only five minutes. No time for fucking about.

Straight to the point, good atmosphere and solid ending.

Good stuff.

Infinity Pool 2023 ★★★★

This was my first Brandon Cronenberg flick and that saying about the apple and the tree, well...

for those watching this on a tv or home cinema, computer,... There is nothing wrong with your device, the movie has indeed started. You just don't see a damn thing. Causing one patron to scream out during my viewing: “There's a cap on the projector”. And hilarity ensued.

We get a few minutes of ease before the weirdness kicks in. But when it does... Good lord. Between a ritual fed by a tomato sauce-ish goo, an oddly timed handjob by Mia Goth, a hold up scene with a hint of A clockwork orange, a drug fueled orgy,... It's not difficult to lose your grasp on relity. What's real? What's not? Who's real? Who's pretending?

A surreal experience that leaves you questioning reality when you leave the theater. And I am all here for it.

And fans can rest assured. The Cronenberg legacy is very much alive.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:30 PM

Renfield 2023 ★★★★½

The premise already looked promising – the Cage as Dracula – and al I can say is that it more than lived up to the expectations.

A veritable splatter fest with plenty of action and compelling fight scenes. It's all over the top, with gore that is simply amazing. All of this accompanied by a good number of laugh out loud moments.

All of this fitting like a glove for Nicolas Cage suitably hamming it up. Awkwafina is great as Rebecca and Nicolas Hoult (and his Cosby sweater) adds a bit of a Hugh Grant-stammer to his action hero.

Great entertainment. Anyone who can handle their splatter.

The Dead Ones 2020 ★

Something something about a school shooting and some kids in an abandoned school, haunted by ghosties or a gang or whatever.

Bland characters and a non captivating plot.

Carnosaur 1993 ★★★★

Carnosaur is just what you are looking for if you want some campy b-movie fun.

Between the chickens hatching killer dinosaurs or a woman giving birth to said dinosaur, this movie has the ludicrousness you want.

The kills are plenty gory (thanks to the late John Carl Buechler) and the characters are just hammy and cartoony enough to blend in perfectly. And the ending is silly and awesome at the same time. Carnosaur vs excavator, hell yeah. Rainforest schmainforest, indeed.

Special mention for Clint Howard (and his voice) and Harrison Page (forever Captain Trunk) as the sheriff. Shame they killed his character, though.

No streaming available at this point, so enjoy it on Youtube while you can.

Tommy Jarvis

06-26-2023, 01:32 PM

Death and the Winemaker 2021 ★★½

An animated film with clear elements of horror. In my opinion, the fantasy elements can be reduced to the parabel/cautionary tale like nature of the story.

This is not the slick drawing style of the Pixars of this world, so I can see how to some, this might feel as an acquired taste. I had the impression it fitted the storytelling style.

The story loyally followed the parabel style. Which means: if you have heard your share of these, the trick with death and the bottle was pretty predictable, as was the late ensuing chaos and misery. I did, however, enjoy the timing and the presentation of the curse and the cross the main character has to bear. They brought that very well.

As far as I am concerned, it's not so memorable as to give it four stars or so. But it has enough demonstrable qualities to make your seventeen minutes well spent.

Terror Train 2 2022 ★

Fans: Wow, an actually solid remake to Terror Train. Good job.

Absolutely nobody: You know what? You should do a sequel to that.

Coked up studio exec: Yeah, and you should make it totes wink wink nudge nudge and self aware, with all douchebag characters who do everything except literally wink to the camera.

Makers: And every streamer is a self obsessed asshole, right?

Coked up studio exec: Totes. Self obsessed asshole streamers are tight!

Makers: Cool, let's do that. But Copperfield and the main character can be still be somewhat nice, right?

Coked up studio exec racking up: Wut? Sure. Fine. Whatever.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:28 PM

Forest of Death 2007 ★★½

A solid Asian horror about ghosts in nature, misterious disappearances and suicide.

It was decent and the achting was okay, but the splitting trees kent the third star away.

The Changing Room 2022 ★★★

The Changing Room aka Samara for H&M.

Short run time, so no time to waste. Of course the requisite dumb decisions (really, the boot was no clue?), but it's not too long before it goes wrong. And the climax is okay(ish), with the budget constraints we have with short films.

Snake Dick 2020 ★★★½

In essence, this is the opening to an X-Files episode stretched out to a good 7 minutes.

It's lesson: a trouser snake is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:29 PM

Soft & Quiet 2022 ★★

The real time principle may work for shows like 24, where there's always something going on. Here, however, it inevitably makes the movie lag. If you want to show how quickly this type of situation can escalate, time stamps do the trick just as well.

Right from the beginning, you get a sense that this mom group does not consist of nice people and once the meeting starts, you really get hit over the head with where these “ladies” stand with their views on society. The only silver lining being that they have to hide in this type of secret, little groups and that a softie priest suffices to send them packing.

The break in scene, the escalation and everything that came after was pretty predictable, albeit pretty bleak. Until the last shot, that is (Or will they?). The only “surprise” being the at first mousy, shy type taking charge and being very agressive about it. For some reason, I expected a Mister Orange-like twist, but no delivery there either.

The Roundup 2022 ★★½

Ma Deong-Seok (the zombie punching badass from Train To Busan) stars in an action that emulates the eighties flicks with Stallone and Schwarzenegger and basically everything leading up to The Expendables.

The story flows nicely, the action works and Ma Deong-Seok proves he is a decent lead. Only downside is that the dub took away from the delivery. I hope I can later (re)watch a non dubbed version.

Whiplash 2014 ★★★★½

Calling it a coming of age would be a bit cheap, as the character already gained some maturity. Though at the start of the story, he still has a bit of the shyness of a kid.

This was essentially a 2 hour duo performance, with a few background characters sprinkled in solely for the development of the main character(s). And I could not keep my eyes off of them.

Completely gorged up by the intense dynamic that they develop over the runtime. Floating back and forth between mutual respect for the respective pros (and their determination to be the best they can at what they do) and on the other hand disdain and downright hatred for the other when, in his eyes, he lets him down.

JK Simmons deserves all the praise he gets for an awesome performance as the charismatic Terence Fletcher. But Miles Teller is great as well in how he portrays the growth Andrew goes through: from a somwhat shy kid (think of the scene where he asks out Nicole) to a determined and sometimes even arrogant and/or pretentious artist, even evolving into a kind of a copy of his master.

People complain on the sadistic, abusive nature of Terence Fletcher, but, interestingly, the dinner scene and the breakup scene with Nicole also show that Andrew might have more in common with Fletcher than you, as a viewer, might (want to) see.

Four and a half stars well deserved. If you have not sene this one, do.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:32 PM

Cabin Fever 2002 ★★

I can't say I was all that impressed by Cabin Fever. Douchy characters go on vacation and then get infected with, for lack of a better description, bad water.

The main thing then is that you, as a viewer, have an incentive to go: oh no, not him! Fuck no, not her! But you don't. Because you have no attachment to them whatsoever. Ryder Strong has the only somewhat likable character and then he blows his credit (along with his load) while his “crush” is being terminally ill in the next room. Real classy.

I am sure Eli Roth is a very good director and from hearing him talk, I am also (fairly) sure that he's a great crack to be around and that you will be hard pressed to find people whose love for the genre is as genuine as his.

You: Ok, ok, ok, but when is the but coming? Well, here it is.

The same way Elton John needed Bernie Taupin, Eli Roth could be so much better off by getting someone to write solid characters for him, allowing him to focus more on technical things like editing, cinematography, pace, build up,... In my opinion, that could make for a geat combination.

Half star added for the story about Eli spraying Ryder Strong with fake blood and the devilish, childlike glee with which he apparently did that. Now there's somebody I can relate to.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein 1994 ★★★

At the Hollywood production company...

Producer Guy: So, you have a movie for me?

Screenwriter Guy: Yes, sir, I do. I was thinking we could do an adaptation of Frankenstein.

Producer Guy: Amazing! So who would direct this thing?

Screenwriter Guy: Well, this is a classic horror story, so who better than Ken Branagh?

Producer Guy: A director who never has done horror?

Screenwriter Guy: That's what we're going for.

Producer Guy: Works for me. So tell me, will he turn it into a Shakespearean drama and cast himself as the lead?

Screenwriter Guy: He sure will, sir.

Producer Guy: Great. And do we get a backstory where they show how he gets to creating life?

Screenwriter Guy: Oh yeah, and we also get this subplot where his girlfriend/fiancé/wife is kind of, sort of his sister.

Producer Guy: Kind of, sort of his sister?

Screenwriter Guy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's adopted, so it all works out.

Producer Guy: Won't that still give an incesty vibe?

Screenwriter Guy: Oh, whoops!

Producer Guy: Whoopsie!

Screenwriter Guy: We also get this subplot where he gets his inspiration from John Cleese.

Producer Guy: Yeah, we need to get a big cast with a lot of famous people in there.

Screenwriter Guy: We sure do, sir.

Producer Guy: Excellent. So what about the monster then?

Screenwriter Guy: The what now?

Producer Guy: The monster. Isn't he like an essential character?

Screenwriter Guy: Oooh! Oh no no no no no no no no... no.

Producer Guy: Oh.

Screenwriter Guy: Yeah, he'll be more an afterthought here for a big part of the movie.

Producer Guy: Oh, really?

Screenwriter Guy: Yeah yeah yeah, and he'll look like a victim of superbad plastic surgery.

Producer Guy: Ah, superbad plastic surgery is tight.

Screenwriter Guy: Gross. So Frankenstein abandons the monster and the monster goes to Geneva to get revenge.

Producer Guy: Why Geneva?

Screenwriter Guy: Because.

Producer Guy: Works for me. Does he kill anyone in the process?

Screenwriter Guy: Well, he kills a child in a nod to the original movie.

Producer Guy: Won't this take away the sympathy from the original monster?

Screenwriter Guy: I wouldn't worry about that.

Producer Guy: Well, it's just that, originally, the monster was a sad creature who kills a child unknowningly. Won't having him do that on purpose turn him into a douche?

Screenwriter Guy: Alright, listen, sir. I'm going to need you to get all the way off my back about the sympathy thing.

Producer Guy: Well, okay, then. Let me get off of that thing!

Screenwriter Guy: So... what do you think?

Producer Guy: Well, it has a Shakespearean actor, a big cast, a main character as an afterthought and backstories and subplots we did not really ask for. So I think it will win all of the awards.

Screenwriter Guy: Great.

Producer Guy: But I do have one last question.

Screenwriter Guy: What's that?

Producer Guy: It says here that he kills Helena Bonham Carter and turns her into a Beetlejuice-like weird monster who leaves Frankenstein to be with the monster.

Screenwriter Guy: What about that?

Producer Guy: Well, she's dating Tim Burton now. Won't that combination lead to over twenty years of typecasting?

Screenwriter Guy: I wouldn't worry about that.

Producer Guy: Ok! I won't then.

Check out Ryan George and Pitch Meetings at www.youtube.com/@PitchMeetings

Thank you to Ryan George for the idea for this and all the funny reviews. Keep up the good work!

This Land 2023 ★★★½

I kind of enjoyed this one, though they go a bit heavy on the ominous music sometimes.

As a result of a timeshare mishap, a blue family and a red family have to share a condo, only to find out they are meant to be the victims of a cult sacrifice. The blue family's mom Ava also bears the trauma of losing a child, which leads to some on the nose imagery.

It's a bit of slow burn, with the tension between the families leading to inevitable comparisons with Get Out. At least, they made things a bit more nuanced with the blue kid taking a liking to the red dad and the moms being polite to each other at first. Not to say that there are no clichés in there. The red dad is a cop and the blue dad is a pot smoking teacher. But I give this credit for showing/trying to show that life always turns out more complicated than you want it to be. Oh yeah, and the blood gag with Dakota? Totally classic Shelly.

Everything comes to a confrontation during a game of some Monopoly-ish game. And then things escalate with some typical cult stuff, a good climax and a solid, decent ending. With one cult member channeling Henry from The Purge. That was kind of funny.

A solid, entertaining flick that deserves some (more) love. Check it out.

Ps: In the category “if you know, you know”: Corbin is the third man.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:34 PM

third date 2019 ★★

Date from hell with not much else to offer.

The only moment that stands out is when she goes all Doctor Gordon on her hand.

Born to Be Blue 2015 ★★★★

Let's get this out of way first: I am “just” a fan. Someone who enjoys listening to Chet's music, his trumpet and his voice. Am I a connaisseur in any shape or form? No, I'm not. I have not really read any biographies or seen documentaries. So don't expect any claims about how wether or not Hawke has the mannerisms down or such and such.

What I can say, is that it's a beautiful tragic story about somebody with a unique, amazing talent and at the same time a self destructive personality stronger than himself. Than he can or wants to be.

I cannot say wether or not this portrayal of Baker is correct. A charmer with good looks who somehow always manages to get in his own way and unwittingly makes life hard for the people around him. With a final shot of Jane/Elaine echoing a line of the song “Hurt”: Everone I know goes away in the end. Which happened to be written by somone who, at that time, was struggling with his own drug demons.

But Ethan Hawke is certainly well placed to portray this type of character. He makes you sympathize with Chet, in spite of everything, and see what his few friends saw in him. At the end of the big dramatic scene, we see him in a dressing room with the choice between methadone and heroin. And I was struck by how part of me was going: don't do it, brother. Don't do it. Sidenote: as a fan of Pontypool, it was nice for me to see Stephen McHattie back as Chet's father.

It has a lot of beautiful music and performances. So the “superficial” Chet-fan has plenty to enjoy here too. And throughout the movie, I kept wondering wether Ethan Hawke did some actual singing here. Would give it an extra cachet, in my opinion. Leave a comment if you know more.

As I am writing this, I am struck by the fact that you can enjoy Born To Be Blue as a biopic, but also as a tragic love story, not unlike Leaving Las Vegas. So certainly worth your time, in perhaps more than one form.

Rorschach 2015 ★★

Spengler and Stantz in the field. No proton pack, no Venkman, no witty dialogue.

One or two somewhat disconcerting moments (hence the second star) between a lot of nothing and then... that's it? Alright.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:36 PM

Halloween Ends 2022 ★

As a stand alone film, this would/could work.

I can certainly see where they are coming from.

They are trying to do something different and that's admirable. They're also setting up the legacy for when Michael Myers should be biologically dead and I'm cool with that. Zombie Michael is no option, fair enough. So they go wih this. Tapping into contemporary issues like mental health and suicide: applaudworthy.

But this as the pay-off to the final trilogy? After two whole movies of build up? No. Just no.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery 1997 ★★★

Went in for a rewatch. It turned out to be just the kind of fluff I needed at that moment.

I'm surprised how many of the jokes still stand after all this time.

A solid comedy and a perfect fit for subscription platforms.

Duyster 2021 ★★★★½

Good lord, what a pleasant surprise.

I'm familiar with the expression “living up to expectations”, but can we make “living up to hope” a thing as well, along with “as good as I had hoped”? Because the premise certainly had given me hope. A FF made by people from my neck of the woods, even with a similar accent. Cool.

So did I in my heart of hearts want this to be good? Of course I did. Only natural.

So was I a bit biased going in? Maybe a tad, but also weary. Because it would be terrible if it sucked. And a lot of found footage does. Let's not mince words: this is the downside to democratizing the fillmmaking process the way this genre does, a virtue not unlike punk rock. When any random schmo can grab a camera, low budget talent will find a way to come to the surface. But many will also try and fail. The same way not every punk band can be The Clash or Bad Religion. And for every Bad Religion that pops up, there are ten bands that are simply terrible.

This is not the case with Duyster. From the opening shot, the characters and their dynamics are well and clearly set up. Anyone who has ever done a group project in secondary school, high school, community college or college can on some level relate to the dynamics within this trio. Or recognize themselves in either Milan, Nora or Bas. The film crew being down on their luck at first is a nice reminder of [Rec] as well. Wonder how intentional this parallel/reference was.

The scares are very well dosed throughout the movie, which in my opinion is a key factor to this subgenre. One thing I noticed is that the bad found footage go way too long without anything really happening. Props to Thomas Van Brabant and Jordi Ostir for their direction and timing here. No details because I don't want to spoil anything. But suffice to say that this is great stuff.

We do get a bit of the running and the screaming and the “oh my god” that typifies found footage movies, but then it pulls a swerve that you can not possibly see coming. All I can say is: the less you know, the better.

Make sure to find a copy with English subtitles, because this is really worth checking out. It's certainly going in my found footage top ten, I just don't know where yet.

For the Belgians and the Dutchmen reading this: Jordi also has a podcast on Spotify called Klokslag 12, where he and his cohosts Dennie and Lorenz discuss all things horror related. I really recommend giving that a listen on either Soundcloud or whatever other medium of your choice. Fun fact: Dennie and Lorenz have a cameo in the movie as well. See if you can spot them.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:40 PM

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil 2010 ★★★

A solid comedy of errors, somewhere between traditional comedies and self aware meta horror stuff like Scream, You might be the killer and so on. Not that surprising since both leads have a background in comedy.

Two lovable hillbillies run into some snooty college kids and hilarity ensues when the latter mistake for psychotic killers. Leading into very funny slapstick-like situations and kills.

But the sweet moments come from the heart to hearts between Tucker and Dale. When Tucker tries to crank up Dale's self confidence. And lord love him, it all works out in the end.

For people looking for something sweet and innocent and with no pretensions about what it wants to be.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil 2010 ★★★

A solid comedy of errors, somewhere between traditional comedies and self aware meta horror stuff like Scream, You might be the killer and so on. Not that surprising since both leads have a background in comedy.

Two lovable hillbillies run into some snooty college kids and hilarity ensues when the latter mistake for psychotic killers. Leading into very funny slapstick-like situations and kills.

But the sweet moments come from the heart to hearts between Tucker and Dale. When Tucker tries to crank up Dale's self confidence. And lord love him, it all works out in the end.

For people looking for something sweet and innocent and with no pretensions about what it wants to be.

Kickstart My Heart 2022 ★★½

Kickstart my heart aka Final Destination: Interlude. What with a car running down our heroine not unlike the bus crash in FD1 and with special effects similar to the ending of FD4.

So then Jeanne-Caudia Van Damme ends up in limbo between life and death with a dead brother/son and a whole lot of ass to kick in order to survive cpr. And she does. Hurray!

Enjoyable in you don't ask (too many) questions.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:41 PM

Armageddon Time 2022 ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers.

Armageddon Time is a beautiful story about a young dreamer searching his way in life in the last days before Reaganomics and the war on drugs and what not.

Paul is touched by Kandinsky and wants to find his voice in art. therefor not playing by the rules of the schools he goes to. Also shown in his bonding with Jonathan/Johnny, a storyline depicting the racism of the seventies. The dreamer beating to a different drum. Though Paul, in a way, ends up betraying Johnny as well. Leaving him behind, partly as a conscious decision, partly because there was not much else he could do at that point. Only, as grandpa tells him, stand up to the bullies who say hateful things about his friends.

Also the dynamics in the family are very recognisable. With the bullying brother and most of all the parents, conflicted between the values they grew up and the changes they experience and have to face. How they mostly just want a better life for their children than what they have and thus (un)consciously end up pushing them towards conformity.

Anne Hathaway and Jeremy Strong deliver very good performances in their respective parts. Hathaway as the housewife wanting to expand and have an impact on society, complete with the wolf traps on her path (like the kid thinking he can do anything because “mom runs the school” when she's “only” in the PTA). Or the dad, torn between stern parenting and a looser style of raising his children. The clearest example being the scene after Paul and Johnny get caught smoking a joint in the school bathroom. Be nice to mom, or she'll set the dogs on ya. Anthony Hopkins is the kind, supportive grandfather, whose passing results in a cathartic moment for the family.

Throughout all of this, the 1980 election is playing. It just so happens that earlier in the day, I saw a Bill Maher monologue in which he claims Ronald Reagan was in fact the original teabagger and the source of many of today's problems surrounding income equality. In that aspect, it does not seem like coincidence that Fred Trump gets to speak at Paul's new school. Donald never makes an appearance as such, but I did sense an implied link. Though I'm pretty sure that The Donald, contrary to Reagan, never called any of his wives “mommy”.

A lovely document of its time and a feascinating cinema experience. Certainly worth seeing.

Ps: Curious to se emore of Jeremy Strong. If there are any roles of his you would like to recommend, feel free to leave them in the comments.

The Houses October Built 2014 ★★★

This review may contain spoilers.

A found footage that hovers around the solid mark.

Par for the genre is the slow start. The different haunted houses are good for a few jumpscares, but nothing really special. It's only after the altercation with the clown that things really go south.

The scene with the tongue is pretty scary and, as one character puts it, the scare of being in the dark and not knowing what's going on or where to go. A decent sommaton of the subgenre.

The ending certainly delivers and you feel for the protagonists as the carnies toy with them and finally bury them. What's beyond me, is a) why these people would drop everything around Halloween to teach these kids a lesson (instead of waiting until early november) and b) how the hell this got a sequel.

Solid FF. Maybe no top 10 material, but certainly on the list for people who just found the genre and want to do some exploring.

Healing 2020 ★★

A girl goes over to a spiritual healer in order to debunk his methods and expose him as a criminal.

The story depends mostly on the tension between the main actors, but I did not really sense that. Maybe partly because the dialogues were hard to understand and the Swiss accent did not really help.

A good and mysterious twist at the end, sure, but that does not save things.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:46 PM

This Is the End 2013 ★★½

Not as fun as I remember.

Some funny bits in there, like obnoxious Michael Cera, the masturbation argument between Franco and McBride or the womp womp moment when Franco gets "saved". And the Backstreet Boys at the pearly gates will remain cult.

But the overall mushy and lovie dovie atmosphere as a cover for the jungle of Hollywood is not as hilarious as the makers had hoped for.

Inside 2007 ★★★★½

Inside certainly earns its place in the realm of French extremes. A European, more extreme version of The hand that rocks the cradle, if you will. In that it appeals to similar fears, just in a very different way.

The opening has you in the right mood, but is positively tame compared to what comes next.

The tension is great. Who is this lady and how does she know all these things about our lead?

The knife on the pregnant belly shot goes up there with the finger in Raw. Good stuff.

Sure, they bring in a few extra characters to up the death toll. But it does manage in giving a false sense of security. And we get gnarly head shot and Sarah stabbing her mother in the throat with a hairpin. As you do.

Throughout all of this, you wonder how the ending will top all of this. And then the ending... fuck me, that ending. A great topper to a very violent and gory film about what are in essence very human things.

Well recommended for fans of more extreme stuff.

Bury the Bride 2023 ★★

Went into this one because of the premise. A bachelorette party terrorised by the groom. Sounds good. Oh, and Scout Taylor-Compton is in it, the lead from Rob Zombie's Halloween.

It's a mediocre vampire fest with a few obligatory jump scares and a bland ending.

The dialogue?

Redneck: Says some redneck stuff.
Sassy girl: Oh... my... god. You're so stupid.
Redneck: stfu (or something like that)
Sassy girl: something something f-bomb bla bla bla two more f-bombs yadda yadda

So that's a lot of who cares.

A few good kills are enough to earn this movie its second star.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:54 PM

Guest 2020 ★★★★

Nice little short with an eerie atmosphere.

We get no backstory on Stewie the stop motion puppet or on why he is scary as fuck. Which ends up making him more scary. Because reality will not be as scary as what you imagine.

Good stuff, this.

Piggy 2018 ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers.

This Spanish Carrie makes you feel sorry for the main character.

It also succeeds in being pretty mean spirited, as the only one not on her case is a High Tension-like killer. You have a sunny day too, sweetheart.

Though I did have the impression almost everything was said in 15 minutes. Apparently, this was turned into a feature length film last year. Curious how that turned out.

Tommy Jarvis

06-27-2023, 12:55 PM

The Gathering 2001 ★★

Back to the DVD collection for something from the early 2000s.

An American girl goes (back) to England and before we know the whats and whys and hows she is run over by a car in the kind of town where you expect to run into Simon Pegg exchanging insults over crossword puzzles.

She gets away from the accident with amnesia (very handy) and soon starts having ominous visions (spooky). Between hooking up with Ioan Gruffudd (who does an amazing Rocco Siffredi cosplay here) and being harassed by townies, Christina Ricci and the screenwriter put the pieces together.

Because it's all related to a vague story about a buried church, which results in a solid opening kill, a piece of wood that allegedly belonged to the cross that held Jesus and an orphanage where child abuse took place... because of course it did.

At first, you still want to buy it, but when the screenwriter started tying in the JFK assasination and the KKK, it became a bit too silly for me to still follow. And of course the ending being par for the course. Oh no, that thing that we saw coming from the very start happened after all. Oh well.

But the pace is solid, the execution is not too bad and there are worse things than seeing Christina Ricci running around doing stuff.

Fun for people who like religious horror and Christina Ricci-fans.

No Time to Die 2021 ★★★

This review may contain spoilers.

Well, I never thought I would live to see James Bond have his Maury Povich moment.

James Bond, in the case of little Mathilde, you are (not) the father.

So yeah, that happened.

The whole movie felt like a final love letter to Daniel Craig. A way of hammering home in no uncertain terms in that it's really really really time to bid this Bond farewell and greet the new incarnation. Including a heroic sacrifice moment. They want you to be doubly sure that this James Bond is really, really dead and gone.

It goes together with an overall solid, entertaining action movie. We see Daniel Craig do all the narrow escapes and stunts and fighting. They keep you on the edge of your seat and the cast are well in their place. In my opinion, Ben Wishaw and Naomi Harris are growing in their respective roles as Q and Moneypenny. If he can do banter (and leave out the “boy, we sure are old” crap), Ralph Fiennes can make a good M.

The main downside is the darkness of it all. Both literally (so many scenes in the dark) and figuratively. There's not much to laugh here, apart from maybe the comic relief moments with Ana De Armas. And yet, the material is there. Their scenes from the earlier movies show that the dry wit banter between Q and Bond can work. Why not use that more here? To lighten the atmos and make the final sacrifice hit that much harder.

Apart from that, Rami Malek can sometimes be scary and yet, he does not make a memorable Bond-villain like Goldfinger or Blofeld. Also, with Christopher Waltz in the cast, the link with the interrogation scene in Inglorious Basterds is quickly laid and Rami does not match up.

Malek and Lea Seydoux's character are kind of characteristic for this movie. I can kind of get it and kind of see it, but a certain meh-factor inevitably always slips in.

Also, your opening bit lasted longer than a Simpsons episode. About 20 minutes until the opening credits. Maybe trim down a bit then.

That said, it still has its qualities: it's certainly entertaining and I can empathize with Craig-fans having to wipe away a tear at the end. For the rest of us, it's just a decent popcorn muncher. No more, no less.

Tommy Jarvis

06-29-2023, 10:01 PM

Terrifier 2 2022 ★★★★★

Terrifier 2, answering the question: what would a gorefest be like with the warped creativeness of Mortal Kombat and the hilarious genius of Braindead?

Don't foster illusions about plot, this is just a two hour splatstick rollercoaster ride. And it's awesome.

My personal favorite is Art and the trick or treaters.

Why is mine so sticky? Holy shit, is that hilarious.

Jurassic Punk 2022 ★★★★

Jurassic Punk is the kind of documentary you want to root for.

Steven Williams looks authentic. He does not come across as this slick storyteller that wants to manipulate you. It's more like: Here's my story, think of it what you will. You don't like it? Alright... I don't give a fuck.

It tells the whole story. How two artists came together over their love for Alice Cooper. How they developed a collaboration that changed the history of cinema. Through movies like The Abyss and T2. My goodness, how many amazing people were involved in T2.

Also nice to see how they got Robert Patrick to discuss his time with Williams and Hape and how they shaped the liquid T2. Because for all the famous people that are namedropped through the course of the film, not many of them seemed willing to talk to them. Afraid of peer pressure? Who's to say?

But most of all, it's an ode to the unsung hero (credit where credit is due: he is mentioned in the jurassic park-episode in The movies that made us). The rebel that went against the grain to prove his point and make his name. With the moment with Spielberg's producer as a culmination. Only to be followed by a neary complete lack of recognition. Spaz does not get the spot on the Oscar stage, Spaz and Hape do not get the recognition.

Who does? Some jerk who does not understand their craft. They are/were too rough around the edges for the mainstream and the A-listers. The weirdoes who did not know how to poltic themselves into the spotlight. Instead of constantly craning their necks to see if somebody more interesting comes by, they went wandering around and ended up in the forbidden room. Oh... my... god. And surprise surprise, George Lucas is a bit of a dick.

Jurassic Punk is a two chord punk rock documentary for movie buffs. Are always complaining about Netflix documentaries being too slick? Check this one out then. Let's see if you can walk the walk.

Tommy Jarvis

06-29-2023, 10:04 PM

Capsules 2023 ★★½

Capsules is a Gen Z Cronenberg about 3 students tripping on, for lack, ExTacy. ET trip home, indeed.

Luke Momo presents an overall entertaining ode to college life. All about the joys of both learning and getting laid and baked. Not necessarily in that order.

Managing to write college kids as likable is already a feat in my book. Apart from that, the autopsy scene and the break in in the old man's house show potential. Makes me want to see more of Luke Momo and Kate Pittard (Maya).

A movie that shows potential, but the underwhelming ending keeps it from getting a third star.

Also, just one thing: you worked in a “that's what she said”-joke, but no that's a paddlin'-joke? In spite of having a character named Jasper?

Oh boy. That's a paddlin'.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai 1999 ★★★★

I must have seen Ghost Dog at least ten times. It's one of those flicks that still keep their edge after so many rewatches.

There's always something new to find in this absurd mix of styles.

There's the crime element with the mobsters vying for power in the organisation. It also had me counting down to the first fuhget about it. Spoiler: it comes about ten minutes in. Or the comedy bits. The mob bosses all look a bit cartoonish, the scene with the names of the rappers and mobsters got a laugh out of me,... and the bit with Cliff Gorman rapping along with Flavor Flav is pretty funny too.

In the middle of all this, we find Forest Whittaker delivering one of the better performances of his career. In a way, he is one of those consumate professionals who, not unlike Harry Dean Stanton, should have got more recognition from mainstream crowds. Yes, the role was written for him, but he still manages to give Ghost Dog this misterious vibe, while at the same time being believable as the super organised and efficient professional hitman. Like the scene where he whacks Valerio. Guy never saw it coming.

At the same time, Ghost Dog's character has something warm and gentle to him. Like in his scenes with Pearline or with the ice cream salesman. A perfect example of the type of oddball characters that somehow always seem to inhabit Jarmusch's universe.

It never fails to entertain and/or intrigue. This time wondering about the cartoons Vargo's daughter watches. From Betty Boop at the start to Itchy and Scratchy at the end. Wonder if there is a metaphor in there.

Until the next rewatch.

Tommy Jarvis

06-29-2023, 10:11 PM

Watcher 2022 ★★★½

Watched Jun 11, 2023
TommyJarvis’s review published on Letterboxd:

Chloe Okuno brings us Watcher, a slow burn thriller/horror about a young lady who moves to Romania when her husband gets a job opportunity there. And, wouldn't you know it, a serial killer lurks around in Bucharest at the same time. Oh, rats.

In a way, this movie reminded me of Spencer. Not just that it is more about setting mood and building up atmosphere, but also in the amount of time that our main character spends alone. Making the movie rely heavily on Maika Monroe's performance.

And she delivers. Often just relying on facial expressions and body language to convey her dread. Over here, Netflix decided to not subtitle the Romanian spoken parts, which does enhance the sense of loneliness. And of course the growing paranoia. That feel when everyone is out to get you, making for easy parallels with Rosemary's baby or The Game. With a finale that is part predictable and partly has a good twist to it. Also, a nice little eerie shot of a plastic bag. Well done.

At this point, I can safely you can blind buy/rent any horror that Maika Monroe is in. Other than that, this is for fans of slow burns.

Tommy Jarvis

07-01-2023, 11:19 PM

The Strange Thing About the Johnsons 2011 ★★

A comedy more messed up than a lot of horror movies.

For the people who think Lars Von Trier and Happiness are too cheery and sunny.

Holy shit, Ari.

The Burial 2023 ★★★

The Burial is one of those movies with some interesting ideas. The kind of good sounding stuff that has you say: with a bigger budget, this could be really great.

A young man named Brian gets a call from his estranged brother Keith who's apparently in deep trouble somehow. Along with his girlfriend Molly – I will not be ignored, Brian! – he drives up to the place where Keith – aka discount Daniel Radcliffe – spends his days. And then of course things go south.

That's where this movie's qualities kick in. How little by little, the secrets are revealed. What happened in the past between the brothers and how it's affecting them now, making this movie a good metaphor for toxic (family) relationships. What's now haunting them. A ghost? First looks more a stalker, to be honest. How they still team up in these difficult days.

The reveal and the ending is something that you can easily make to look very silly, and I totally understand how some people would think that it does. But the fact that I was still engaged in the dramatics though the actors were not always that great... to me, that does also prove my point that there's potential in there.

Maybe five or ten years, someone will do a great remake that lifts this one to its full potential. Right now, it's only for you if you are the kind of movie (who) very persistently see the glass as half full.

Tommy Jarvis

07-01-2023, 11:22 PM

Hounded 2022 ★★★

Like many movies in the genre, this has a few titles flying around: Hounded, Hunted,...

The story? A few burglars/robbers get caught on the one gig after one of them explicitly states he wants to quit. Guess who dies first? Uhu.

The plot is your typical generic action horror thriller. A bit of class warfare, a bit of hinting at abuse, a bit about tradition,... The baddies are dressed like fox hunters. Which is kind of logical, but mostly makes for a cool movie poster.

No great shakes, but still entertaining and Samantha Bond makes for a good villain. The kind of stuff you would come across and afterwards go: hmm, that was better/less bad than I thought it would be.

Come to think of it: this would be great for Netflix, actually.

Sleepless in Seattle 1993 ★★

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see "Fatal Attraction"?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!

Not going to lie. This movie got a few laughs out of me and Tom Hanks can be genuinely funny. Oh yeah, and Bill Pullman is totally fucking underrated.

That said, it's still a rom com, so I was closer to yawning when I should have been fawning. Also, the secondary story lines (like Victoria and her cackle) were annoying and boring.

So what did make my heart melt, were the shots of Pike. What does that say about me? #therapist #curiousquestions

Tommy Jarvis

07-01-2023, 11:44 PM

The Unholy 2021 ★★

In The Unholy, Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays the type of down on his luck reporter that, up until a few years ago, would have Fox News go: When can you start?

He ends up in a small town named Banfield where a little girl named Alice (sweet Alice) is supposedly healed by the virgin Mary. He lets go of his initial scoff and starts investigating.

And then we get the same old unimaginative tripe we've seen before. Demons, a change of heart, false hope, a dramatic finish, every so often we get a reminder that a demon is involved... There is nothing wrong with religious horror as such, but when you're doing a religious horror... Wether you want to or not, you're competing with classics like The Omen and The Exorcist. So by default, you've set the bar pretty fucking high for yourself. Then you have to do better than a cookie cutter story or a cast that does not grab you. Not saying that the girl playing Alice did a terrible job, but it does not help that seeing makes you think of other horror movies or wonder what Imogen Poots or Maika Monroe could have done with this character.

It's not all bad. We sometimes get some nice imagery, Jeffrey Dean Morgan does what he can with the material he's given and I can see how the character arc he goes through attracted him.

It's just that the whole thing did not do much for me.

Carnosaur 2 1995 ★★★★

If anything, this came right on time. Just the type of stupid I needed to unwind after a stressful day.

Seeing Miguel Nunez made me smile. I used to love Tour of duty, so I was already familiar with him (kinda, sorta) but seeing him in this type of cheesy bullshit just warms the cockles of my heart. Especially with how he hams it up in this one. Pity he did not get more screentime in this one.

The story is tremendous B-movie schlock with a rag tag group of mercenaries, a last minute escape and, of course, nuclear weapons popping up somewhere.

And this gang? They are something. Cliff Deyoung plays a major with as much authority as Frank Burns in a Schwarzenegger-movie.

Burns: I'm giving you an order.
Hawkeye: Please do, Frank. We've never ignored one of those.

The rest of the group? There's Miguel Nunez, a bearded dude that looks like an attitude era-wrestler, a woman who seems to be channeling a different personality in pretty much every scene she is in, a macho who looks like he should be in a hair metal band. And the kid they find reminded me of Randy Quaid's son in Independence Day.

Roger Corman is going tease on us here, keeping the gore until the very end. The result of that is that the opening carnage looks like a fight scene from either the A-Team or a Bud Spencer movie. And it was glorious.

Have you sat through all of this and not seen this gem yet? Then haul ass over to the joetoebs and do so. You know you want to.

Tommy Jarvis

07-01-2023, 11:48 PM

BRUSH 2020 ★★

A horror short about a woman who gets a brush that she most assuredly did not order.

Too many flaws to really be entertaining. After all, there's only so much you can do with a brush.

Also, was that supposed to be ghost? Or maybe a clone of this Lauren character? Is she supposed to kill her? Take over her body?

I don't need everything explained to me in tons of exposition, but this story raises more questions than it answers.

Tunnel 2021 ★★★★

Good stuff, this.

I really liked the way they worked out the hallucinations and the score showing the mounting sense of dread and despair on the part of the main character.

Props to the actor here. I can imagine that there must at least be a teensy bit of temptation there to either overact or ham it up. This actor does neither, but uses his body language and movements very well. Making sure that, together with the score, instills a mounting sense of dread in you.

So go on over to Youtube and check it out.

Tommy Jarvis

07-01-2023, 11:49 PM

Blaze 2022 ★★★½

One of the downsides to not always knowing the plot going in: you get blindsided by something you did not expect.

Based on the cover, I expected a main character creating a dragon as a venging angel, wiping out those who wronged her. And in a way, it still was. I just expected something more in the line of Teeth.

Now we get a fantasy fairy tale about a girl dealing with the aftermath of witnessing a murder and rape. Hiding from the trauma, gathering the courage to speak, lashing out at her father in the process.

This movie is full of metaphors. The dragon as a protector, just not in the way I expected. Her room as a place for her to hide. The judo as the motor for her growing courage. Not to mention the fact that, at the end, this whole story is a metaphor for coming of age and sexual awakening. With a touching, cathartic moment near the end.

Not for everyone. 30 seconds in, you will get an idea of wether this is for you. But those who enjoy it, will do so thoroughly.

Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 2020 ★★★½

Taylor Tomlinson delivers a more than solid performance on her first Netflix special.

The stories meander a bit all over the place, but the laughs come at a solid pace and in the end, that's all that matters. The lego joke is the one that comes to mind first, but there are plenty of others.

Tommy Jarvis

07-02-2023, 12:40 AM

Creep 2004 ★★★

I recently came across this one on one of those hidden gem lists that you can find on the Yoewtjoewbz. In this case, hidden gems of the twothousands. Or noughts or noughties, if you will.

Franka Potente plays Kate, a German woman living in London. She is on her way from a party to a club where she is hoping to meet George Clooney (who is supposedly in town). Come to think of it, it would have been funny of they could hire a lookalike for the final scene, with the joke being that she does not recognise him.

Anyway, while waiting for the last train, she falls asleep and... whoopsie Daisy. Now she is stuck in the London tube. Rats.

Does this movie have it's flaws? Yeah. You need a good bit of suspension of disbelief to get by some stuff. Like the drug dealer/rapist somehow getting on the one train passing by after the last one left. Or the whole mad scientist gone awry idea behind the killer. How he set up shop in the tube network and got his lab and his gynaecologist chair down there? Never explained. Not that a possible explanation would be closer to plausible than to silly, but still.

That said, Creep does have its qualities. It has some solid kills (Guy the coke dealer and Jimmy the homeless guy) and a few eerie moments like the rape attempt and the subsequent moment when the killer grabs Guy. Or the death of Jimmy or, earlier on, the bit when Mandy disappears. Also, what is the deal with Jimmy and Mandy having (exadurated) Scottish accents? Is that supposed to be some hamfisted nod to Trainspotting or just taking the piss out of Scots in general?

It is entertaining enough to keep you invested and I can see why people would want to consider it a hidden gem. Four star masterpiece? Nah.

Asteroid City 2023 ★★★★

I just love getting lost in Wes Anderson's universe, filled to the rim with kooks and quirks. And, of course, the typical Wes Anderson mannerisms like the symmetrical shots. First example that comes to mind is when Schwartzman and Hanks are on the phone.

I also love how he always manages to bring together this wonderful ensemble cast with too many people to name here. Suffice it to say that some of them are simply amazing in this: Tom Hanks as the loving grandfather and the (somewhat) hostile father in law. Or Edward Norton as the playwrite.

Maya Hawke is adorable as the school marm trying desperately to maintain some level of authority. The Blum as the alien (because of course he is) in in only one shot and he immediately makes an impression. Scarlett Johansson is excellent as always and is anyone more in his place than Bryan Cranston's narrator?

In short: beautiful scenery, great actors and enough oddities and chuckle moments to keep me going. That's more than good enough for me.

FryeDwight

07-02-2023, 02:11 AM

TaeKwonZombie

07-03-2023, 03:07 PM

I finally saw High Tension! Also known as Haute Tension, and Switchblade Romance, it had a nice twisty ending I did not see coming...

FryeDwight

07-05-2023, 02:12 AM

I finally saw High Tension! Also known as Haute Tension, and Switchblade Romance, it had a nice twisty ending I did not see coming...

You and Me both::shocked::..pretty brutal film too.

THE GUEST LIST (2022). Very good REELZ doc (on TUBI) about the horrific Feb 2003 fire at The Station nightclub in West Warwick Rhode Island that could have been prevented so easily if greed and foolishness had not been involved. Good interviews with many of the people who are affected by the tragedy; particularly Joe Kinan, who was the last survivor pulled out of the building. Despite the shitty hand fate dealt to Him, He shows how human spirit can prevail. There also footage of the event, so be prepared. ****1/2

DeadbeatAtDawn

07-05-2023, 06:09 AM

Run Rabbit Run, 2023. 6/10

Directed by Daina Reid

https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Run-Rabbit-Run.jpeg?w=1000&h=563&crop=1

Possessor, 2020. 8/10

Directed by Brandon Cronenberg

https://pa1.aminoapps.com/7705/a136fc548c6c275528f63112f3f9250091f34b72r1-500-324_hq.gif

Tommy Jarvis

07-05-2023, 09:41 AM

Godsend 2004 ★½

Bla bla technology... bla bla bla cloning... bla bla bla they're going too far... Robert De Niro yadda yadda yadda

But you yadda yadda'd over the best part.
I mentioned cloning.

No. All jokes aside, this one is not likely to pop up in any retrospective on either Robert De Niro or Greg Kinnear. Kinnear at least tries, but De Niro phones it in.

Leash 2018 ★

Now I know what Otto felt like when he walked out of the stoner pot palace. Because this is flagrant false advertising.

This is not about football. In fact, it's just background noise. A plotline that could have easily been dropped all together. That would not influence the story at all.

For the lines between patriotism and xenophobia to be blurred (as the plot synopsis claims), you would need a story that's a lot more complex and layered and nuanced. Sadly, we don't get any of that. On the contrary. This is almost offensively simplistic.

All we get is a stereotypical gang of racist Welsh women bullying a Polish girl. The waisters beating up on the good girl. 5 on 1 of course. At least, they realised that it would be too rich to have a Welshman complaining about a foreigner not speaking proper English.

No revenge. Little or no pay-off. An ending with no rhyme or reason.

You can undoubtedly do powerful movies about racism and how it occurs in football stands and what not. This movie did not do that. At all.

Cocaine Shark 2023 ★

One of the first in a what will probably feel like a nearly endless slew of Cocaine Bear knockoffs.

The main cop, Sonny Drebin*, wants to catch a dealer and stop him from selling a shark related drug he designed. When he should know nothing beats swank. Also, he immediately gets addicted to it himself. It's awesome.

Yes, it's only 1 star, but I had a ball. I simply love this kind of trashy schlock. Between the terrible practical effects and the lackadaisical delivery – Yeah, we exist and stuff. Should we sound badass now? Whatever. – this movie has all the “qualities” to deserve a place in the “so bad they're good” lists along with other gems like The Room and so on.

I love how their idea of tripping on drugs looks like an epileptic episode. Or how they managed to sneak in a Brian Pilman lookalike hostage taker. How do they overpower this mean machine? Super easy, barely an incovenience.

Or the mere idea that the lead probably accidentally shaved his beard before the end of the shoot. What do you mean, you thought we were done? Oh well, guess we will have to work that into the story now. Somehow.

*What else would you call with a Tubbs-beard, a wish for Sonny Crocket-toughness and a Leslie Nielsen-style voiceover? It's amazing.

Tommy Jarvis

07-06-2023, 09:09 PM

Casting Kill 2023 ★★

A case of the cover photo being more appealing than the actual movie.

The idea of an id fraud killing actors is not that bad, but this needs a bigger budget to really have an impact. Now the few somewhat interesting moments drown between the unconvincng acting, the (mostly) offscreen kills and the forced, tacky ending.

Not really recommended.

Mukbang 2022 ★★★

Entertaining short with with a nice, albeit goofy, cartoonish idea behind it.

Tommy Jarvis

07-06-2023, 09:09 PM

Things Heard & Seen 2021 ★★★

For me, this was an overall entertaining haunted house flick. To call it truly memorable would be an exaduration, but it had enough going on to keep me invested.

After seeing her in both this and You should have left, I hope Amanda Seyfried finds more solid haunted house scripts, because the genre does suit her. Alex Neustaedter is solid as the boy with the heart of gold. The movie also features Karen Allen and Natalia Dyer, but their talents are pretty much wasted since they don't get much to do.

Of course, it follows the tropes and has no pretensions about reinventing the wheel. A decent style exercise can have its merits as well and this one does.

Not sure about one thing, though: Was the husband posessed (perhaps by the killer from past times) or is he just a miserable character by nature?

Tommy Jarvis

07-09-2023, 05:58 AM

Good Bye Lenin! 2003 ★★★★½

This is a great example of the beauty of cinema in its purest form. From the premise to the cast, the characters and the emotions they portray.

It starts with a premise... Be honest, as much as we all love this movie, try telling it without making it sound closer to Weekend at Bernie's than to Sophie's choice.

Nonetheless, this is where the cast shines. Daniel Brühl dazzles you with his performance, showing just how far Alex is willing to go to keep the jig up for the sake of his mother. Endlessly searching for a pot of Spreewald which, to any Westerner, would now probably taste awful. Or the very touching moment in the library with Sigmund Jähn. What? So they all look at him like he is crazy, who cares? If this is what makes mum happy, then by gum, that's what we'll do.

The movie is tsjock full of these touching moments: Alex and his sister meeting their father, or when Katrin Sass's Christiane confesses the deep secret she carries behind her facade of feistiness. And I cannot go without mentioning the scene where Kristiane leaves the building and is confronted with the changes of the past months. A very powerful image of somebody having the rug pulled from under them. Cinema magic at its best. You don't need words, since the images tell you everything.

The secondary characters only add layers to the drama. Arianne who works at Burger King and fully embraces capitalism. Leading to a brilliantly filmed confrontation with her brother. Saying, without explicitly going there: Verdammt, this is not about politics, this is about our mutti, scheisse. Or his friend Denis, a tv repairman from the West with hopes of becoming a director. He willingly becomes a pawn in Alex's game as an East German newscaster, complete with that awful Rudi Völler like stache. Also giving the director an excuse to squeeze in nods to both 2001 and A clockwork orange, copying the speeded up sex scene in the most unsexy setting imaginable. Intentional?

Because don't get me wrong: there are times when this movie is bust a gut funny. Like the bit with the Coca Cola banner and the ensuing fake news bit about Coca Cola being a socialist drink and all. (And yes, history has unintentionally added another layer to these images. But then I would digress.) Or the East Germans gathering in a sex shop. Holy crap, you mean this is possible here? Das kan doch gar nicht.

It's not a political movie, but it does show you how the changes affected society. The bank scene with Ariane and Alex in my opinion highlights the contrast between the endless waiting in the DDR and the rat race in BRD. Sigmund Jähn and the professor fall from grace, breeding the kind of bitterness and resentment that perhaps help explain certain later developments in this part of Germany. Alex and his girlfriend Lara – magnificently portrayed by Chulpan Khamatova – find an apartment where they can move in. Affordable? Empty. The previous owner just split after the collapse of the wall. Leaving behind the moccha fix and all without blinking an eye. To hell with it all. Implicitly saying more than a pamflet movie ever could.

Well recommended. For everyone.

Tommy Jarvis

07-09-2023, 05:59 AM

The Blackwell Ghost 2017 ★★

From what I understand, this sets up later sequels. I hope it picks up steam in part 2, because apart from one scene and a few special effects here and there, this was pretty unimpressive.

Kristy 2014 ★★★★

Let's get the neg out of the way first. Yes, the idea behind the cult and their motives is laughable and ridiculous. And yes, that lifts some of the suspension of disbelief.

Those who do that, would do themselves a disservice. And even they have to admit the whistling is creepy. Kristy is a pretty good horror with a home invasion motif (with the campus being her home over the Thanksgiving weekend).

A good part in this is the lead. Props to the screenwriter for writing a main character as likable as Justine is here. You really want to root for her here, not in the least because of the great performance by Haley Bennett. A feeling that adds to the eerie moment in the shop.

Another thing that this movie show off very well is her heroin prowess. With a lovely bit of foreshadowing at the beginning, hinting at her determination to get along on her own. Yes, she is scared. Who would not be when a gang is after you, being effective enough to kill pretty much anyone crossing your path. But this baby does not need training wheels. She is a certified badass. Show, don't tell. These people get it.

Oh yeah, and it has a pretty high kill count too. That pleads for it too.

Kristy, an overlooked gem that deserves more love and attention. Check it out.

FryeDwight

07-11-2023, 12:45 AM

Tommy Jarvis

07-14-2023, 03:49 AM

Goosebumps 2015 ★★½

We start with the typical single mom teacher and her son Zach, aka the star of Young Chandler. They release a load of monsters and Narnia-ish shenanigans ensue.

This is a style exercise that comes with all the genre tropes: the silliness, a few groanworthy puns, an unfunny side character, a sad farewell, a happy ending,...

But it's not all bad. Jack Black is good at this PG family friendly stuff and his physical comedy fits this type of film. Admittedly, this movie got a few grins and chuckles from me and Slappy had his moments.

Not saying that this is geat, but I'm pretty sure that there's a lot worse in this style.

Under the Shadow 2016 ★★★★

Let me be clear from the start: this is for fans of slow burns.

Also, it's not just a ghost story. It's also about the horrors of war like taking care of somebody with a bomb right next to you ready to explode. Or the horror of being a woman in late eighties Iran. Where she can neither be a doctor nor go out without her veil.

The Djinns come into play, but at first only subtly. At that point, the scares come more from the bombings from Iraq. They then slowly start to manifest themselves by taking prized possesions. First Dorsa's doll Kimia. In the case of Siheda, it's her VHS tape with a Jane Fonda fitness video. The only bit of rebellion that she has left. It all has this did you see something vibe, reminiscent of Amityville and Poltergeist. All build up to a final confrontation with imagery that hints at the dream sequences in ANOES.

I liked this one for several reasons. Telling religious horror stories from the perspective of different religions is a nice change of pace and the djinns (seem to) offer very intersting storytelling material. It also weaves in the horrors of society, so it's not just the usual “the devil is coming for power” exposition. The acting is well done – though sadly, I have not seen these actors in other flicks yet – and I appreciate the fact that Netflix offers the possibility to watch this movie in Farsi.

Not for everyone, but good and different.

Sculpt

07-14-2023, 07:12 PM

NOW MORE THAN EVER:THE HISTORY OF CHICAGO (2016). Very good documentary of the iconic band from the humble beginnings up to their induction into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Lots of footage of them performing and I was marveling at HOW GOOD Terry Kath and Danny Seraphine on their instruments (GTR and Drums) and HOW much the band lost after Kath's accidental (and stupid) death. The only complaint I've read have mentioned that the narration by members of the band (the four remaining originals also produced) tends to be biased. Perhaps, but We weren't there and several key members like Manager/Producer James Guercio, Donnie Dacus (gtr player after Kath) and most tellingly Peter Cetera declined to be interviewed. While I liked a lot of their singles, it really went downhill after Terry's death and the dominance of Peter and producer David Foster who came out with all sorts of goopy ballads (very popular ones) that just didn't make it for Me. Obviously this is for fans, but a casual (Me) or even non-fan will enjoy this. ****

I look forward to seeing it. I love the older and the Foster era Chicago hits both.

25 or 6 to 4, Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?, Just You 'N' Me, Saturday in the Park, Feelin' Stronger Every Day, Wishing You Were Here, Baby, What a Big Surprise, If You Leave Me Now... those are great songs.

But come Chicago XIV they just lost it. The next set of radio hits with Foster were fantastic! I loved em:

Hard to Say I'm Sorry/Get Away, Love Me Tomorrow, Stay the Night... I would say I love those as much as any of the previous hits.

I also loved Hard Habit to Break which was actually written by Steve Kipner/John Lewis Parker. I Know Kipner from writing some Olivia Newton-john songs like Physical, Heart Attack, Twist of Fate.

Along Comes a Woman is a good song from Cetera/Mark Goldenberg. I loved You're the Inspiration when it first came out. I heard it so much, I don't want to hear anymore. lol

Amaltheaunicorn2023

07-16-2023, 04:39 AM

[IMG]https.338141071.7946/poster,504x498,f8f8f8-pad,600x600

DeadbeatAtDawn

07-16-2023, 06:57 AM

Quicksand, 2023, 5/10

Directed by Andres Beltran

https://www.heavenofhorror.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Quicksand-Review-Shudder.jpg

God is a Bullet, 2023. 6/10

Director: Nick Cassavetes

https://images.kinorium.com/movie/shot/2731556/h280_51785876.jpg?21686227034

FryeDwight

07-19-2023, 01:28 AM

IRREVERSIBLE (2002). >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>SPOILERS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Very controversial film told in reverse order dealing with a brutal rape of a pregnant woman and the seeking of revenge by her husband and former lover. Lots of swirling spinning camera work and the constant hum of infrasound made some viewers nauseated (maybe that was deliberate by director Gaspar Noe, whose films are quite confrontational) and begins with one of the most violent and brutal scenes scenes I've ever witnessed.

The notorious rape beating scene is truly nasty and seems to go on forever, particularly as a stationary camera films it as though You are right there. I will give kudos to Monica Bellucci who is very convincing and after seeing the happy beginning (actually the end of the film) with her discovering her happy news and being radiatingly beautiful. To me, it makes her ordeal more horrible.

More of an ordeal and not anything You really would want to see. *1/2

hammerfan

07-21-2023, 07:45 AM

The Blackwell Ghost 2017 â˜…â˜…

From what I understand, this sets up later sequels. I hope it picks up steam in part 2, because apart from one scene and a few special effects here and there, this was pretty unimpressive.

He's made a total of 7 entries so far. Apparently, he's working on #8. I really enjoy these films. So much so, that I bought all of them on Prime. If you're on Facebook, he has a group on there.

Tommy Jarvis

07-21-2023, 11:43 PM

Kuru 2017 ★★½

A family on the prowl for food for their cannibalistic son.

No great shakes, did not do much for me.

Weinstein 2018 ★★★½

Comprehensive story on the rise and fall. It gives you a pretty complete picture of what happened.

Sound of Silence 2023 ★★

Mediocre Italian haunted house movie about a ghost who can't stand the radio. Or maybe he just likes KBBL.

It starts off okay, but then it just gets worse. With increasingly bland jump scares, a boyfriend who's just there to get possessed and an end scene that drags too long.

Tommy Jarvis

07-21-2023, 11:46 PM

Scary Movie 2 2001 ★★

I was in the mood for something stupid and this one did not disappoint.

Some of the jokes are dated, but I still got one or two chuckles. And truth be told, Anna Faris is pretty good in this type of goofy shit.

The Grudge 2004 ★★★★

I cannot put my finger on when exactly, but I know that I have seen this one some time in the past.

All I can say is that this has been a ball.

The jump scares are set to perfection. You get that great sense of paranoia, of not knowing where the danger is coming from. Something is coming to get you and it can come from anywhere and at any time. Everybody remembers SMG in the shower, but the jump scare in the bus does the trick just as well.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is great in this one. Her Karen immediately garners the viewer's sympathy. I also like Ryo Ishibashi (the business man from Audition) and his performance as the cop spearheading the investigation; and special shoutout to Bill Pullman, reliving bits of his performance in The Serpent and the rainbow. Only a short appearance, but it still leaves an impression, because it's Bill fucking Pullman.

Is it culturally adapted/watered down for Western audiences? Maybe so. The resulting flick is a great piece of enterntainment. And a few people will use this gateway drug to get to the real J-horror. All for the better.

Jeepers Creepers 2 2003 ★★

A boring sequel to Jeepers Creepers. Justin Long is replaced by a bus filled with generic slasher fodder. At least they're coming home from a game and not going to a party.

That said, the monster did look pretty good and it had a few good moments to save it from a one star rating.

Also... Scotty doesn't live.

Tommy Jarvis

07-21-2023, 11:46 PM

The Dick Maas Method 2020 ★★★½

A comprehensive journey through the career of Dick Maas. With all the ups and downs that came with it.

From the conflicts with the producer (who looks a bit like Youp Van 't Hek nowawadays) over the international success and praise. But over the course of their lives, all humans take some bad decisions and then a dream turns into a job, a friendship goes sour,... At times touching, at times very funny.

This is an ode to dreaming big and the can do spirit. A must watch for people who love cinema magic and a type of underdog... You say “no way” and they say “watch me”

Tommy Jarvis

07-21-2023, 11:47 PM

Vivarium 2019 ★★★★

Vivarium is an odd little offering.

The civilised world should be close and yet, you are somehow completely isolated. And there is no way out.

Granted, you also need some suspension of disbelief to get past all your questions concerning things like building permits, missing persons reports (especially with both main characters working for a school and so on).

We follow Tom (Jesse Eisenberg) and Gemma (Imogen Poots) as a young couple looking to buy a house. Imogen Poots delivers a solid and layered performance and Eisenberg brings what is probably his most likable character since Zombieland. Sidenote: Why a guy who is regularly cast as an annoying little pipsqueak is now a gardener all of a sudden is an... interesting choice. But anyway. Moving on.

The way they get lured by the creeper real estate guy had a tone that reminded me of Speak No Evil, with harm coming to people too polite to say “thanks, but no thanks”. Also, get a load of this real estate guy. Something tells he was raised by a Nic Cage character. Also, I'd rather buy a house from Terry O'Quinn's character in The Stepfather than from this guy.

I was immersed in the atmosphere. Their attempts to escape, the confrontation with their adopted artificial/alien son, their disturbed relationship with the “child”, Tom's digging a hole,... and the ending. Which I will not spoil, but suffice it to say that it will inspire very little fist pumping or bumping.

Vivarium. For an off the chain movie night.

Tommy Jarvis

07-21-2023, 11:49 PM

The Grudge 3 2009 ★★

A few good moments here and there, but it does not nearly pack as much of a sting as part 1.

The Things We Cannot Change 2023 ★½

This movie has several issues, but it's not as terrible as this review will make it sound.

The main problem is the acting. Sometimes it reaches Tommy Wiseau-levels, discount Magneto has his delivery ruin his good look and I am still wondering what discount Megan Fox was going for. But whatever it was, it was more funny than compelling.

The script was a bit too non sequitur at times, though it has some nice bits and ideas here and there. Long story short: with a few rewrites, Blumhouse or a similar studio could turn this into something decent.

Now? More nah than yeah, I'm afraid.

Tommy Jarvis

07-21-2023, 11:56 PM

He's made a total of 7 entries so far. Apparently, he's working on #8. I really enjoy these films. So much so, that I bought all of them on Prime. If you're on Facebook, he has a group on there.

Thanks for the tip. I'll check out part 2 and 3 some time.

What's the name of the group?

Amaltheaunicorn2023

07-29-2023, 04:20 AM

https://i.cbbp

DeadbeatAtDawn

07-29-2023, 07:20 AM

The Flood, 2023. 4/10

Directed by Brandon Slagle

https://static1.moviewebimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/the-flood-casper-van-dien-film-2.jpg

Splinter, 2021. 7/10

Directed by David Bryant

https://www.eyeforfilm.co.uk/images/newsite/Splinter_Still_3_small_600.jpg

Cobweb, 2023. 7/10

Directed by Samuel Bodin

https://64.media.tumblr.com/907d357323533f0614d8c97a79eab1c0/b9ad849e27eedb8d-47/s540x810/aa6851954295e7c4a30923e3be648fb08c649a3b.gifv

Little Bone Lodge, 2023. 7/10

Directed by Matthias Hoene

https://media3.giphy.com/media/HDugg8m8mLErb7lqob/giphy.gif

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:14 AM

Talk to Her 2002 ★★½

I totally see the movie's appeal.

How it's about unconditional love, being there for somebody. How it challenges the traditional image of masculinity. For fans of Euro cinema, this can be gold.

It just did not do that much for me when I watched it this time.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:15 AM

The Devil’s Candy 2015 ★★★★½

Recently had this one recommended on a podcast. Holy moley, is this up my alley.

This has a great atmosphere. Case in point being the combination of the paintings along with a haunting score. Great stuff.

Speaking of the score, it's great how this amazing makes heavy metal go together so well with the images. No greatest hits, no generic filler. It added to the movie.

Not to mention the actors. All of the main cast were great, but I'd like to specifically mention Ethan Embry as the obsessed painter and Kiara Giasco as the daughter. Pruitt Taylor Vince made for a convincing killer. Also nice to see Leland Orser again.

Good atmos, solid ending with a good pay off. Certainly going for a rewatch some time later on.

Needless to say: well recommended.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:16 AM

Jason Hates Selfies 2016 ★★★

Short, sweet, a nice shot and a solid kill.

Pretty much all you can expect from a three minute short.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:18 AM

Halloween: Resurrection 2002 ★½

Trick or treat... muddafukka.

Is this the worst one in the series?

Clickbait 2016 ★½

Your typical horror short, making the most of the a tight budget and a positive spirit.

These people made a movie, which is more than my sorry ass will ever do.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:19 AM

Halloween II 2009 ★★½

Well, it is still Rob Zombie. So yes, you will get a lot of screaming and cursing and civil conversations going from 0 to 100 in about three seconds. Also, what's the deal with making Loomis so arrogant and self obsessed?

That said... the nightmare sequence in the opening was well done. Rob Zombie can create tension and I thought Octavia Spencer was good in this one. I liked Brad Dourif's portrayal of sheriff Brackett. Could this be one of the gentler performances in his filmopgraphy? In a Rob Zombie flick of all places. Go figure. Also nice to see Weird Al and Margot Kidder get roles.

Now, I understand that fans give this movie flack for the mom and the white horse, but as a common theme, it's worked out well and it does deliver for a few amazing visuals. Then again, letting a main character come to her end in this way; just to to get a cool visual... That might be a bit too much. Shifting the drama between Annie's death and Laurie's would help.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:21 AM

Arnold 2023 ★★★★

We follow Arnold from his childhood in Austria over the various stages in his life up until where he is now. As the embodiment of the American dream.

Is he arrogant? Yes. And... It all depends in what way you see it. Is it the a-hole kind of arrogant or is it the kind of arrogance that says “look, I know what I'm good at, being good at it makes me feel good and I do not want to hide or deny that it does”. He acknowledges his past mistakes, though that is a lot easier to do when your hits outweigh your misses.

His political career... Not sure how I feel about that, since I don't have a full picture of what his policies were like. Certainly in retrospect (with what came after), it's easy/easier to see him as the sort of poilitician you would now consider a “sensible Republican”. I am aware of his envionmental policies and that, of course, makes him look good. Then again, I could be unaware of some of his other policies. But I did finding myself nodding in agreement in his approach to things like bipartisanship.

Does the series shy away from the scandals? It does not, in large part because it can not. I can certainly see how some people might feel the series glanced over it in the larger scope of things. And I can also see the point of view that says “we don't want this to overshadow all the good things he accomplished”. Plus we will never know what he really thinks and how his mind has “evolved” over the years.

To what degree was it a truthful representation of Schwarzenegger and how much was spinning? Not sure. What I can say is that the man has charisma and a half and he can certainly make for very charming company. And that this series made for amazing television and a very interesting time document.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:23 AM

Wolf Garden 2023 ★★★

Let's be clear from the start: if you don't like slow burns, then you had better skip this review. You want movies to “make sense”? Same rules apply.

For the others: this is a well done slow burn werewolf horror. Particularly for what looks like a low budget affair.

We follow our main character William, as he and his girlfriend Chantelle retreat in a cabin in the woods. He seems to have some sort of issue with going into the public eye, but we're not sure why. At first, you think that he's on the run from criminals, but later, we find out that there are other elements at work.

I liked how this movie sets up an atmosphere where you're hardly ever really sure on what is real and what is not. Especially the scenes with Chantelle do a good job at gradually revealing what is really going on. Director Wayne David (William) and Sian Altman (Chantelle) give okay performances (certainly good compared to some of the wooden performances I've seen in other low budget horrors) and you can tell that they have a bit of chemistry. Would not surprise me to see that they are a real life couple as well. The only silly moment was the scream William gave at one point.

However... as daring as it is, the non linear storytelling is a bit off putting. If you rely on atmosphere as much as this movie does, then you are better off, in my opinion, with a straightforward storyline that keeps the viewer (more) invested.

That said, I still give it three stars. As a child of the era of Clerks and Blair Witch, I do have a certain fondness of these low budget movies that manage to pleasantly surprise you as a viewer. If you can feel that, give this one a check.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:28 AM

Horror in the High Desert 2021 ★★½

For the most part, I did not think all that much of it. Not that it was bad, it was just the faux documentary style we had seen before with things like Lake Mungo and, in a different style, The Poughkeepsie Tapes.

It's sad that this seemingly nice and smart young man disappeared, but for the most part it's just a recount of what happened. So yeah, put that in the slow burn category. Also, a score is already weird in a FF and here, it seemed overly dramatic. Like it was trying to mimic an overly sentimental missing persons program. Sometimes, it became annoying, like with one of the sister's last fragments. On those moments, it's better to let emotions speak for themselves.

Only late in the film do we find out he has a blog and that's where the found footage part kicks in. It has a few scary moments and the silence creates some tension, but it is difficult to keep it up. That said, the final jump scare is very effective.

There's better FF and there's a lot worse.

Tommy Jarvis

08-03-2023, 12:32 AM

The VelociPastor 2018

In total, it's five stars, no doubt. In breakdown...

As a genuine movie, it's a half star for effort. Nothing went well.

As a schlock fest, it earns the other four and a half stars. This feast of ludicrousness was a thing to behold. You cannot keep from overdosing on the sheer relentless onslaught of silliness, non sequiturness and general what the fuckery.

Well recommended for those going in with the right expectations. Watch this with your (wittiest) friends and just get ready to cackle your ass off.

MichaelMyers

08-04-2023, 06:15 AM

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

DeadbeatAtDawn

08-07-2023, 10:41 AM

The Passenger, 2023. 7.5/10

Director: Carter Smith

https://s3.amazonaws.com/static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/the-passenger-movie-review-2023/the-passenger-movie-review-2023.jpeg

Insidious: The Red Door, 2023. 6/10

Director: Patrick Wilson

https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Screen-Shot-2023-04-19-at-9.53.04-AM.png?w=1000&h=563&crop=1

Talk to Me, 2023. 7/10

Directors: Danny Philippou,Michael Philippou

https://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/talk-to-me-3.jpg

The Ghost Within, 2023. 7/10

Director: Lawrence Fowler

https://cfm.yidio.com/images/movie/240580/backdrop-640x360.jpg

FryeDwight

08-09-2023, 03:30 AM

NO ESCAPE-1994. Decent flick which borrows a lot from 1973's TERMINAL ISLAND and THE LORD OF THE FLIES. Convict Ray Liotta is not exactly a model prisoner (and seems to really be a glutton for punishment::shocked::) so is shipped to an island manned by convicts and after escaping from a nasty faction, finds himself with a more civilized group, but there are threats of attacks from the other group (all I could think of was LOST)-can "Lone Wolf" Ray join with another group to ensure a happier life?

While it's a little long, not a bad flick and worth a watch. ***

Amaltheaunicorn2023

08-13-2023, 04:38 AM

[IMG]https

Tommy Jarvis

08-14-2023, 01:28 PM

Becky 2020 ★★★★

I really enjoyed this one.

It's a basic home invasion flick, but I was really entertained from start to finish. It has some great visuals like the opening montage flipping back and forth between the prison yard and the school yard.

The story itself is no great shakes, but it does give the film a nice excuse to see Joel McHale (if I'm to believe Tubi commercials, he's fricking everywhere these days) and Kevin James outside of their usual terrain. Maybe it's because, apart from the odd trailer, I have “missed” Paul Blart and the likes, but I bought Kevin James as a neonazi. Even though he's Purge Election Year-levels of subtle about it.

The main part, though, is the gore. A lot gorier than you would expect based on the actors you're most likely to recognize. I'm not going into detail, but you might be done with smores afterwards. And Paul Blart keeps his... eye out for somebody. The main course being the unlikely adversary going all Terry Funk on these criminals. With kills most likely to please Chucky-fans. Sure, it helps that the giant has a change of heart and that she has Diego by her side, but in the end, Becky does all of the heavy lifting here. You don't have to like Becky, but you have to recognize she's a badass.

For fans of either gore or home invasions.

Haunted Forest 2007 ★★

Hikers looking for some kind of treasure and some sort of tragedy involving the ghosts of native Americans. Not overly captivating, but I've seen worse.

In a word: meh.

Tommy Jarvis

08-14-2023, 01:29 PM

Baby Blue 2023 ★★★

After one of their projects did not go so well, a trio of students takes the advice to get into true crime. Judging to what Netflix has to offer in that section (all the serial killer or things like I am a killer and what not), that's not such a bad suggestion. But, naturally, they get more than they bargained.

This was very enjoyable. For what look like a low budget film, the acting is pretty good, the characters are likable enough to sympathize with and you have a cool looking killer who seems to be channeling Bill Paxton in near Dark. The look with the sunglasses and the blood covered mouth will immediately take you back to the bar scene. A bit of a similar cheekiness too.

The script manages to build up tension. Sure, the guy doing the dumb shit is exactly the guy you would expect to do that, but it's a nice pay off to his character build up. Also, Beans had the most of a character arc compared to the others.

Certainly worth a check.

The Roommate 2011 ★

How to best describe this one? One of those conveyer belt “horror” where the studio execs show they “know” what the fans want.

Rip off a good chunk of Single White Female, add in some Fatal Attraction (but this time, it's a cat instead of a rabbit). Add some bland drama and you have your bland thriller with an equally bland cast. For me, the best performance was Billy Zane as Professor MeToo. This kind of cocky, somewhat sleazy character fits him perfectly. The others try their best with what they are given and that's not all that much.

Tommy Jarvis

08-14-2023, 01:32 PM

Vanilla Cake 2016 ★½

Short film about a psychotic family's birthday party.

A “16 year old” stabs his mom getting him the wrong birthday cake. Talk about a temper tantrum.

And then that thing happened they alluded to at the start with the talk about the departed father.

Oh no!

(shrug)

Oh well.

Bill Hicks: Relentless 1992 ★★★★★

A relentless onslaught of laughs and insightful jokes. One of the greatest comedians ever on top of his game.

From the bullshit behind wars over aliens landing in fucking Fyfe, Alabama to a solid repertoire of dick jokes.

A much missed hero of comedy.

Tommy Jarvis

08-14-2023, 01:33 PM

Friday the 13th: Death Curse 2019 ★★★

Maybe not much plotwise, but their heart is in the right place. You can tell that they love the series. The references to the series seemed more subtle: a quick photo of “aunt Ginny” (Amy Steel) and a reference to a line by Martin the caretaker. And that's about it.

More room for a fes solid kills and the final confrontation with, admittedl,y a good idea and an equally decent approach and execution.

Hard Candy 2005 ★★★★½

Good lord, was this intense.

The movie lives up to the premise. What you get is a very well crafted thriller about topics we as a society are not always equally comfortable talking about: torture, pedophilia, child abduction,... and even (slightly) touches upon topics like adulthood and age of consent at one point with Hayley's line about a girl being able to “imitate a woman” without necessarily being one.

The writing kind of solves the ethical dilemma by turning Wilson's character into a genuine monster where we only ever so often get a glimpse of what lurks beneath his socially adapted exterior. Page's character is painted as a sort of venging angel. In that aspect perhaps closer to Bronson in Death Wish than to the girl from Audition.

It's not gory, certainly when knowing that the film at one point involves a castration scene. Having said that, I doubt a lot of men were feeling completely comfortable when Hayley got to the actual cutting. Hence creating an atmosphere found in some great horror movies where your imagination fills in the blanks left by the movie.

Also, this is a movie that relies heavily on the performances by the main actors and they do it very well. Wilson and Page create a fascinating power dynamic where the upper hand shifts at several points in the film.

Great stuff. It got under my skin. Certainly recommended.

Tommy Jarvis

08-14-2023, 01:34 PM

Craving 2023 ★★★½

A fun little flick in the vein of the second half of FDTD. Four drug addicts come down upon a bar with waittress Felissa Rose and then a standoff ensues.

It floats along at a nice pace and it gets a nice, gory ending. The first flashbacks make it a tad messy, but that works itself out over the course of the film. The pace was okay, the characters were no Shakespeare, but kept you invested. And the ending was a good pay off. My impression: somebody loves his creature features. With perhaps a dab of Cronenberg and/or The thing thrown in for fun.

For fans of decent low budget productions.

Tommy Jarvis

08-14-2023, 01:35 PM

Oppenheimer 2023 ★★★★★

One of THE big productions of this summer. A grand biopic with a suitable ensemble cast. Even if you don't enjoy the movie, you will get your fun from the pop quiz in recognizing everyone in this flick. Oh, there's Florence Pugh. Hey, it's Ken Branagh as Niels Bohr. And who is that guy playing the lawyer?

Not that that's necessary, though. The three hours just flew by. All with relevant information to make the picture of Robert Oppenheimer as complete as possible. As a man with flaws and as a man who is aware of his flaws and his mistakes and how he has to live with them. Without any attempt to make him too likable. Somebody confronted with the type of choice bobody should have to make.

We see the whole rise of Oppenheimer and the conception and production of the bomb. With the final test as the big climax. Complete with Hollywood style tension. Will we be able to go through? Will it go well or will we all die? Factually correct? Probably not everything, but you forgive the tension for storytelling purposes.

And also a picture of a time where things got done. We want to realize this groundbreaking technology. What do we need? Build a city in the middle of nowhere? Then... let's build a city. So it was written, so it was done. Oops, we forgot kitchens. Fine. Let's fix that. Living in an era where a lot of have lived through or are living through an infrastructure project turning a seemingly endless farce with an equally endless stream of Nimby's, politicians, lobbyists and general ne'erdowells who keep shit from getting done... That came close to home too.

And of course the hearings afterwards. With Nolan's vision telling how even groundbreaking techniques and world changing events can go sour because of things like personal pettiness and vindictiveness. All over a tiny throaway conversation between Oppenheimer and Einstein. With RDJ in an amazing role as Strauss. And Cillian Murphy in an award guarateed performance as Oppenheimer. From an abandoned hospital bed to the Oscar stage? It might just happen.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 2007 ★

Military types do shouty bits in bursty bursts and fight mountain dwelling rapists.

From a movie that the Wrong Turn franchise is indebted to, we somehow went to a poor man's Wrong Turn.

FryeDwight

08-15-2023, 12:19 AM

Tommy Jarvis

08-15-2023, 01:24 AM

HARD CANDY is certainly very intense. Two extremely unpleasant people playing "Cat and Mouse" with one another. I thought it was quite good.

Thinking back on it, Wilson's character more than likely was guilty of what Ellen accused him off. After He finds out that the "Procedure" wasn't done, You figure He would have gotten the Hell out of there pronto! Instead He goes back into the arena for more abuse::confused::.

I think the element of revenge and humiliation was present too.

Him wanting to get back at her for doing this to him is stronger than his common sense.

DeadbeatAtDawn

08-15-2023, 04:44 PM

Mother May I, 2023. 6/10

Director: Laurence Vannicelli

https://www.highonfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Mother-May-I-2023-Movie-Ending-Explained.png

The Last Voyage of the Demeter, 2023. 8/10

Director: André Øvredal

https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/MCDLAVO_UV028.jpg?w=1000

The Communion Girl, 2022. 7/10

Directed by Victor Garcia

https://image.tmdb.org/t/p/w1920_and_h800_multi_faces/54IXMMEQKlkPXHqPExWy98UBmtE.jpg

America Latina, 2022. 6/10

Directed by Damiano D'Innocenzo, Fabio D'Innocenzo

https://static-sg.winudf.com/video/image/660b131d-7a17-4fb1-b9d3-5cfa2ee6c1fa.jpg

FryeDwight

08-17-2023, 12:40 PM

THE RUINS (2008). Four somewhat shallow people vacationing in Mexico join up with a guy going to meet his brother at a Mayan ruin. Once there, They discover they have walked (literally) into a nightmare.

Without giving too much of the plot away, Leonard Maltin describes TR as "A cross between THE DESCENT and THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS" which pretty much describes it perfectly. Although none of the characters are a bargain, they still don't deserve what happens. A decent thrill and a few serious gross-out moments. ***

Amaltheaunicorn2023

08-18-2023, 08:17 AM

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Tommy Jarvis

08-19-2023, 12:56 AM

The Hills Have Eyes 2 2007 ★

Military types do shouty bits in bursty bursts and fight mountain dwelling rapists.

From a movie that the Wrong Turn franchise is indebted to, we somehow went to a poor man's Wrong Turn.

3AM 2017 ★½

Monotonous, not much going on.

Tommy Jarvis

08-19-2023, 01:01 AM

Todd Tarantula 2023 ★★

This 2023 release is best described as a graphic novel style interpretation of one of the weirder David Lynch movies (Mulholland drive, Lost highway,...). So expect a plot that sometimes (seemingly) lacks in coherence.

The titular Todd finds out that a) his father is killed (in a dream) and b) that his bike is stolen. So he looks for his bike and tries to reconnect with his father. Who in real life is still alive. Kind of. Sort of. You'll find out.

The plot was sometimes a tad too confusing to keep me invested. And the acting has its ups and downs. Particularly the dialogue just before the bar fight sounds less like Blade Runner and more like a Nostalgia Critic skit.

That said, I did like the visuals (the colours give it something serious comiccy) and while I picked on the plot, I also want to mention that the script has some good ideas like the time travelling.

Two and a half stars. It would be a stretch to call it entertaining, but it certainly had qualities.

Blood Thirsty 1999 ★½

A vampire flick without fangs and a look and two leads closer to a softcore porno than to horror. You would expect the male lead to look like Andrew Stevens, but this guy gives away more of a Billy Burke-vibe.

Since it's the late nineties, one of the leads auditions for a band with generic indie/alt rock and a Dollar Store Nick Cave as their lead singer.

I kept expecting to see Tommy Wiseau walk in. Hahaha! What a story, Celia.

hammerfan

08-19-2023, 09:09 AM

Currently watching Ringu

MichaelMyers

08-20-2023, 01:38 PM

UNFRIENDED 2: DARK WEB

DeadbeatAtDawn

08-21-2023, 05:03 PM

The Mistress, 2022, 6/10

Director: Greg Pritikin

Megalomaniac, 2022. 8/10. ::love::

Director: Karim Ouelhaj

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/3736bdb3-97bc-47b8-a473-d6f6742ab586/disturbing-trailer-for-the-extreme-horror-movie-megalomaniac.jpg

Dariuss {screener} 7,5/10

Director: Chris Politana

IVIjNZFPxcY

DeadbeatAtDawn

08-22-2023, 07:34 AM

Tell Me a Creepy Story, 2023. 7/10

Directed by:
Samuel Dawe
Félix Dobaire
Stuart Graham
Paul Holbrook
Luke Konopasky

https://images.sr.roku.com/idType/roku/context/global/id/9ac07a1a8ccf5817934245a9489b16d5/images/gracenote/assets/p24420544_v_v12_ab.jpg/magic/396x0/filters:quality(70)

Amaltheaunicorn2023

08-22-2023, 07:37 AM

[IMG]https://im0,strp/aggie_by_zakeno_d5jswrh-350t-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiO

DeadbeatAtDawn

08-25-2023, 05:52 PM

Mob Land, 2023. 8/10.

Directed by Nicholas Maggio

https://blurayauthority.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/moblandhdpub-1536x864.jpg

The sound track was phenomenal.

FryeDwight

08-27-2023, 04:50 AM

SELECTIVE OUTRAGE(2023). Recent Chris Rock standup has lots of funny moments, but the best is towards the finale when He discusses the business concerning Will "Slappy" Smith. ***1/2

Tommy Jarvis

08-27-2023, 08:22 PM

SELECTIVE OUTRAGE(2023). Recent Chris Rock standup has lots of funny moments, but the best is towards the finale when He discusses the business concerning Will "Slappy" Smith. ***1/2

Good stuff indeed.

Tommy Jarvis

08-27-2023, 08:25 PM

Strange Way of Life 2023 ★★★★

Only 30 minutes in a movie theatre. 35 if you count the trailers and announcements (turn off your phone, enjoy the movie, try our passes, yadda yadda yadda). The average Bond/Marvel blockbuster has hardly warmed up in that period. Almodovar uses it tell an entire story. Yes, Almodovar. The first name is not even necessary anymore at this point. He's become his own brand.

And yes, it has gay cowboys. But, for the South Park-fans out there, no pudding. Sadly.

But this is not even that much about their relationship. And yes, the parallels with Brokeback Mountain are obvious. With Jake reminiscent of Ledger and Silva closer to Gyllenhaal.

What is about then? You can tell from looking at the two leads and the feelings they emote. Mostly in their facial expressions and body language. With nearly every shot in their scenes together brimming with emotion. This is the type of regret you understand more and more as you grow older. The regret that has your body and mind say “if only I had...”. If only I had the courage back then to...

The movie is also about inner conflict. About being torn. Between your principles and your feelings. Between following your heart and doing what you think is the right thing, in both justice and life. Between what your work can turn you into and what you think life expects from you.

Cinema at its purest. Not for everyone, but the ones who are open to enjoying this, will be touched by it.

The Outwaters 2022 ★★★★

I went into this one with mixed expectations. On the one hand, the trailer looked good and it was programmed on a festival, but at such an hour that I could not attend the screening. So that makes for a bit of anticipation. On the other hand, I understand that there were mixed reviews. Like a lot of FF, it can be hit or miss. Depending on where said viewer is at that specific moment.

Well, as far as I am concerned, this one certainly delivered.

Sure, we get some of the standard build up trying to get us to relate to the main characters. In this case a band who, I believe, is recording a video for one of their songs. And sure, we get some characteristic “did you hear that?”. But other than that...

The Outwaters walks the right line between explicit and implicit. The physical harm happening to the characters and the state they are in mentally. A state that answers the question “why do they keep filming?”. For all we know, he probably does not even realise that he is filming anything in the first place.

A state where you are never really sure which part is reality and which part is hallucination. Where did that blood come from? Where did that wound come from? How did they find that? And yes... What the hell is that?

I will not spoil the ending, but I will say that I cannot remember feeling this uncomfortable since watching Be My Cat. A kind of discomfort that stuck to me for the rest of the evening.

For fans of FF, this can be some seriously scary shit.

Tommy Jarvis

08-27-2023, 08:49 PM

Deadly Species 2002 ★½

A poor man's predator with scientists and vague evil people. It also has gratuitous nudity (among others discount Shannon Elizabeth), the fountain of eternal youth and monsters... I guess they are supposed to look like Predators but they more resemble The creature from the black lagoon. And the dubbing... my goodness, the dubbing.

Only if you are in the mood for cheesy fun.

Bermuda Island 2023 ★½

Lost meets Dollar Store Predator. With ditto effects and acting.

Half star for the pretentious sounding metal head. He was kind of funny.

Reign in Darkness 2002 ★

This Blade wannabe is the Bechdel equivalent of the scene where Homer makes the lie detector explode.

The only mystery here is how this got greenlit in the 21st century.

Tommy Jarvis

08-27-2023, 08:50 PM

Barbie 2023 ★★★★

Alright, time to see what all the fuss is about. Heads up: this wil be a long ass review.

Before we get started, two quick things. One: earlier tonight, I saw a 2000s vampire flick that offered screen time to a total of four(!) women. Only one of them had a single line of dialogue and that's over 70 minutes in. One of them was literally just there to kiss the main antagonist, the second was just vampire fodder and all the third one did was walk and scream. To quote Brad Jones reviewing Voiceless: “I've seen women better represented in gay porn”.

Second: In one of his books, Mark Kermode tells an anecdote about a conversation he had with one of the producers on Titanic. He tells about how he rants (and I do love my Kermode rants) to her about everything that does not work in the movie, everything that does not make sense and so on and so on. She then gives him a warm smile and says in a friendly tone (and I'm parafrasing): “Everything you just said is completely true. There is just one problem: you're not a teenage girl.” As in: Yes, it's true what you say. But it does not matter, since the people who this movie is for don't give a crap about that. The same way the average guy does not care about how Arnold never has to reload.

So that kind of sets up the mindset I was in when I sat down to watch this. I should not watch this movie as if it was for me, because it's not meant to be. This was for the group of teenage girls sitting right behind me who laughed at all the right beats of this comedy. Because yes, Barbie is also a comedy and in the words of Jerry Seinfeld: the laughs don't lie. (And for full disclosure: the irony is not lost on me that I'm mostly quoting men so far.). The girls laughed, I... sometimes laughed and sometimes chuckled, so as a comedy... it worked. Simple as that. It's a solid comedy, certainly in the first act. Margot Robbie excels, she really has the part down. Ryan Gosling is funny as Ken in a goofy kind of way (Also, was evil Ken meant to look like Vince Neill? Because I was digging that.) and Michael Cera is funny as Allen.

Then the infamous second act. Yes, it gets preachy at times and if you are an observant person/viewer, it does not tell you much that you don't already know. I can both see how it's annoying for some and, at the same time, also where it's coming from. As I mentioned at the start of this review: the culture that does not bat an eye at the portrayal of women in movies like the vampire flick meantioned earlier is a thing a lot of women/feminists have to contend with. I.e., if you have given Michael Bay a pass for his portrayal of women, then giving this movie shit for their portrayal of men kind of makes you a hypocrit.

This is also one of the flaws this movie has. A five star masterpiece keeps you immersed and has you going “hell yeah!” from start to finish, not “Ok... ok... I get it. I... know.” So yes, the portrayal is sometimes black and white and sure, it's pretty on the nose at times. And at the same time, its portrayal of women on women bullying with the Weird Barbie thing. Just one quick sorry and we're good. What has to be years of pent up frustration and what not... gone, just like that. Having heard women in the media talk about how women can often in fact be more cruel to each other than men are (or even could be), I could not help but be struck by how quickly and easily, this movie glosses past that. Also: first time she appeared, I could not help but raise my hands and go: of course. Of-fucking-course it had to be Kate McKinnon. Again, perfect casting. Nailed it. Also also: part of me can not help but wonder how this would work as a double feature with Mean Girls.

Then again... this is fricking Barbie. In a way, she is about as cartoony as The Expendables and that's part of the point. A good part of this movie is also a nostalgia trip for women who grew up playing with Barbie and I'm pretty sure that, during the countless hours spent in their rooms, they (or the guys growing up with GI Joe) did not come up with plots as intricate and flawless as, say, 12 angry men. Once you understand that, you also understand that it's wrong to go into this movie expecting this level of intricacy. After all, it's first and foremost entertainment for a large audience. Otherwise, it would be four hours long and then people would bitch about it being too long. But slice it into four one hour episodes on Netflix and people will happily “binge” it. Go figure.

Not only that, it also ignores moments like the one where Barbie literally apologizes for taking Ken for granted. Or the self aware joke about casting Margot Robbie. Or the great cameo by Rhea Perlman. And how do you combine your criticism of the film and its portrayal of the sexes with the blatant hommage to Stanley Kubrick that it opens with?

You can argue about the themes and message of the film. For my sentiment, it was a tad too much either/or and a bit too little and/and. And even that can lead to good conversation themes, given enough good will and empathy from all involved. Also, that does not take away from the movie's many qualities. Well made, well told and perfectly cast. You can see it as a great popcorn muncher and if you want, it can offer food for thought. And for the coming decades, there will always be little girls who benefit from this “yes, you can”-type of message.

Four stars.

Amaltheaunicorn2023

08-29-2023, 05:00 AM

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Sculpt

08-31-2023, 02:01 PM

Dracula Untold (2014)
5/10

A rather tedious version of the Dracula story. The story harkens back to a flavor of the original Brad Stoker novel. Dracula is Vlad the Impaler, who was as tribute to the Ottoman Turks in the 15th Century by his royal father to be trained a soldier in the Sultan's elite Janissary corps. The exposition is he became a feared military leader, known for impaling the conquered. He gives up these ways and returns to Transylvania to rule as prince.

He has a family and the Turks come back and demand his son as tribute to the military, just as Vlad had been. As his kingdom is outmatched, he turns to a vampire in a cave to give him powers to save the day. He can take on the powers for three days and avoid becoming a permanent vampire if he's able to resist drinking blood.

Tommy Jarvis

09-02-2023, 02:17 PM

Cabin Girl 2023 ★★★

I would like to know what the budget on this one was. I also like being surprised by these low budget horror affairs.

A van girl streamer (people call her an influencer, but we never see her hock stuff) moves into a cabin after an accident. I'm sure that won't come back to bite her in the tush.

Things starts heating up when her new dream home – then again, streamers and influencers always end up with stuff they totally love, wink – turns out to be the former home to a supposed witch. So get our share our witchypoo possession and small town collusion. All leading up to a nice twist with a predictable red herring that, in the end, does not completely work out the way I thought he did.

All sounds pretty by the numbers and sometimes, it kind of is. But as a style exercise, it worked for me. Rose Lane Sanfilippo made for a believable vlogger, Sam Ingraffia fits the role of the small town doctor and Austin Scott does a good job as the boy with the heart of gold.

For those willing to sit through low budget trash in order to then stumble across this stuff.

Killer Book Club 2023 ★★½

Proving once again that hype and Netflix don't match. When Netflix hypes a horror, it's (usually) time to get sceptical. I have a soft spot for non-English spoken horror in general and – since Rec and Voces – Spanish horror in particular. So I dove in and gave it a try.

Killer Book Club is an all in all okay style exercise that borrows (very) freely from source material like Scream and I know what you did last summer. From the premise to the tone to the character. There's a shot of Nando that reminded me of Ryan Philippe and another gives away a bit of a Skeet Ulrich-vibe. Also, the book signing. Am I the only one who saw that and immediately JLH go “What are you waiting for, huh?!”

Also, what's with the text dubbing? The original langauge is Spanish, the dialogues are in Spanish and yet, for some reason, all the texts and even the headlines in a clearly Spanish newspaper are in English. I don't know what's more annoying: the pandering to the more lazy part of the audience or the fact that for a lot of people (the ones willing to listen to a language they do not necessarily understand), this will come across as half assed.

As I said, it's a style exercise, so it follows the tropes of the meta horror, with the self referential lines and what not. So we get the characters turning on each other like in I know, the Scream-style of communicating (at least they are now apping instead of calling).

So a lot of it is ripped off with just a tiny few tweeks here and there. That said, a style exercise can have its merits and the merits of this film are a decent pace and good kills with a good division. It has some good gore and Professor MeToo and the killer(s) get the most gnarly kill.

(Only) for slasher fans looking to expand their collection. And for fans of Spanish horror. No Voces, but kind of fun in its own way.

Tommy Jarvis

09-02-2023, 02:19 PM

Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice 1992 ★★½

This sequel picks up at the logical place, in the aftermath of the original COTC. With the press swarming the small town of Gatlin right after the evens and a nice excuse for a few shots of police discovering decomposing bodies.

No sign of neither Linda Hamilton (obviously) not Peter Horton, but now our lead is Terence Knox (from Tour of Duty) as a down on his luck reporter stumbling across a story. He finds out what's going on while at the same time hooking up with their landlady. And at the same time, he reconciles with his grumpy estranged son who jsut so happens to mekt the heart of the local hot girl. What can I say? Nineties movies were convenient that way.

It does not take long for things to pick up. Isaac and Malakai may be gone but Mordekai is more than ready to pick up as the next in command. Especially when joining forces with Michael, who just happens to be the son of the love intrest. All making for a neat little package. www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqLijhBRddo

While the special effects are okay, I cannot help but think that the kills (and the ensuing effects) nearly all have a touch of the cartoony to them, making them less scary and more funny. I mean, one of the characters literally has her house fall on top of her. The only way it could be more Roadrunner-y would be if someone had written ACME on the front door.

But the opening kill with the reporters is kind of cool, Terence Knox is always reliable and the rest of the cast is not too terrible either.

Two and a half stars for now. Maybe a rewatch will win me over for the third one.

Return to Sender 2022 ★★½

Over all entertaining mood piece about a recovering alcoholic who is tortured by... Amazon? Is Bezos more evil than we thought?

All jokes aside, it is a bit odd to see someone so scared by unsollicited products. Especially since they are related to neither her recovery or some paranoid conspiracy plot. To me, those are more odd than scary. All the more kudos to the lead for keeping me invested.

The ending was a bit out of nowhere and odd, though it did make for a bit of a scary moment with the audio.

Two and a half stars.

Tommy Jarvis

09-02-2023, 02:20 PM

Dylan’s New Nightmare 2023 ★★★★½

With this level of storytelling, you could very well deliver an amazing, exciting full length feature.

The dream sequences were scary again and this Freddy was a great blend between the meanness from the first movies and the cheesy jokes from the latter. And Miko Hughes is pretty god here.

Sooner or later, a studio has to see the soundness of this investment and threw a few million at these people.

DeadbeatAtDawn

09-03-2023, 06:28 PM

3 Dead Trick or Treaters, 2016. 8/10

Director: Torin Langen

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Amaltheaunicorn2023

09-05-2023, 08:24 AM

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FryeDwight

09-07-2023, 02:12 AM

LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE (1993). Not bad Lifetime film of a woman involved in a car accident after leaving a party-the driver of the other car dies but tests found He was drunk, but were there other circumstances? To make matters more confusing, the woman in the accident becomes friends with the widow of the deceased.

Usually, Lynda Carter gets called on normally for her looks (and She is quite lovely here), but she's pretty good as a woman who has doubts and really wants to do the right thing. I mainly watched this for Dee Wallace who is great as the grieving friend. And things kept moving along enough for Me to stay interested in the outcome.

Decent score by Les Baxter (who did a lot of AIP films, many of them the Poe pictures)and Lynda sings over the closing credits. **1/2

DeadbeatAtDawn

09-10-2023, 03:16 PM

Night of the Caregiver, 2023. 4/10

Director: Joe Cornet

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Pollen, 2023. 4/10

Director: D.W. Medoff

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DeadbeatAtDawn

09-11-2023, 05:43 AM

Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon, 2021. 7/10

Director: Ana Lily Amirpour

https://assets.americancinematheque.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/06152250/Mona-Lisa-and-the-Blood-Moon-HERO.jpg

Tommy Jarvis

09-14-2023, 08:40 PM

The Day After Tomorrow 2004 ★★★

Say what you will, but nobody does adrenalin fueled brain on zero popcorn fun quite like Emmerich.

And main characteritis helps you survive all of that without a scratch.

Personal Shopper 2016 ★★★

Personal shopper was an interesting thriller. Kristen Stewart plays a student who works as a personal shopper for a society figure. Spending your whole days in fancy shops, trying on expensive clothing, living in Paris, hopping back and forth between Paris and London,... I think there are a few people I can sign up for that.

However, there is of course more to it than that. She also tries to get in touch with her deceased twin brother and at the same time she gets texts from some stranger who appears to be either toying with her and/or stalking her.

As a thriller, it was enjoyable, but the story did not really know where to go. With the result being that both the murder subplot and the brother plot could have been fleshed out more. But we get some interesting sequences while she is trying to get into contact with her brother and the shot where she finds the body is well construed. Also, Kristen Stewart does a solid job here as the lead girl, going back and forth between bewilderment, curiosity, terror and being appaled.

For people who like their mysteries a bit different.

Tommy Jarvis

09-14-2023, 08:43 PM

The House on Pine Street 2015 ★★

A pretty unmemorable haunted house flick. A few decent effects and ditto jump scares (barely) earn it its second star.

Skin & Bone 2022 ★★★½

An entertaining short with ghosties and the growing tension between a farmer and the drifter she employs.

The director had the mood down, the actors are solid, and not to spoil anything, but the ending does add a new dimension to the term the GOAT.

Also, extra half star for Amanda Seyfried's singing voice.

Death Metal 2016 ★★★

More cartoony than scary by far.

But some good carnage and some fun gore and all in all enjoyable. if you're in good for a laugh.

Ps: Michael Dalmon (with his look in this short) could make for a good Charles Manson.

Tommy Jarvis

09-14-2023, 08:44 PM

Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street 2019 ★★★★

For the second time in little more than a week, I've ventured into the universe surrounding ANOES. Only this time in a completely different way.

Because... while part of it, if not a large part, is about the series and Freddy Krueger, it's certainly not the main focal point. That would be the life and journey of Mark Patton, the man portraying Jesse Walsh, aka the first male scream queen. We follow him thoughout his life and times, with (more than) a few aspects making it unbelievable.

From how comfortable he was with his sexuality early on (not an easy feat in less supportive times) to him finding his way to the stage as an actor. Culminating in a beautiful Cher-story.

The movie that made him, also broke him. But not as much as the scriptwriters did and the impact of the AIDS epidemic was even worse. As someone who was a child during the Reagan-era and who hit puberty around the time that condoms became a common thing, I was (kind of) aware of the epidemic, but at the end of the day, it was far away. Something to be careful for, end of story, no more than that. And you kind of knew that a lot of people died and certainly a lot of gay people, you just did not give it that much thought, since you were too busy with your own life, discovering girls, music, movies and what not. In a way, this movie was an eyeopener, a lot more than a movie like Philadelphia was. Philadelphia raised awareness about gays, this raises awareness about AIDS. Mark telling about Tom, his disease and his passing really hits home how big the stigma and the self loathing must have been to have certain thoughts. Not to mention how small things could have had an immense impact.

We see the hell that Mark went through as a person (chances are the line about not seeing a person for a year will make your eyes misty), and you immediately had an image of all the nameless gay actors who fell between the cracks in the system of that era. He tells about his personal life, how he pulled himself off the grid and how he built a new life. Only to find out about the impact he had and then start a new life, touring the convention circuit and being a champ at it. and you immediately see why he says that. It was touching to see how many people drew courage from his portrayal of Jesse and how it inspired them to lead their lives and and all of them help shift the needle of aceeptance. I loved the analogy with the Crispin Glover dance and you know what? The universe is richer with both of them doing their own thing than with one copying the other.

One of the two highlights of the documentary is the reunion with the original cast. You can still mistake Kim Myers for Meryl Streep and over the years, Robert Rusler has only become more handsome. And while he does not say much in this movie, you can tell that Robert Englund is a kind, warm soul, supportive and accepting. The reunion is warm and you can see that these people respect each other. With a telling conversation between Rusler and director Jack Sholder.

The other is the confrontation with writer David Chaskin. With Mark Patton wanting him to admit that he knew what he was doing more than he let on or wanted to admit at the time and see the impact of that an of some of the stuff he said. Knowing his experience and how he still feels the consequences (“You wrote it, btu I'm the one getting called f****t a hundred times a day”), you can perfectly imagine Mark being bitter and vinctive about that. And while, yes, some of that is there, I was also struck by the perspective he still had and his willingness to reconcile. Making this kind of story more likely to awaken pepople than some of the more extreme woke people on Elon's thingamajig (x or whatever the fuck he calls it a month from now).

A touching and moving story to go out your way for in order to see it. And part of me hopes that it also somehow gave Wes a bit of happiness and pride in the many ways his creation has meant so much to so many people.

Tommy Jarvis

09-14-2023, 08:46 PM

Nightmare Radio: The Night Stalker 2023 ★★½

An anthology of a handfull of mostly forgettable stories surrounded by a radio DJ being stalked by an obsessive fan. Play misty for me meets MeToo.

Most of the stories were pretty forgettable, but the last two has some solid gore and special effects. Candy may be no Adrienne Barbeau when it comes to radio voices, but the two actors do a good job here and it does have some good tension and imagery with a good scare in the studio. With perhaps a bit of an underwhelming (and a tad predictable) ending.

Two and a half stars nonetheless.

House of the Dead 2003 ★

Gruß gott, Herr Uwe Boll! :-)

Tommy Jarvis

09-14-2023, 08:49 PM

Beau Is Afraid 2023 ★★★★

This certainly was a very trippy experience.

We encounter Beau Wasserman, a man living in... well... he could be in group therapy with Carrie White and she would ask “Are YOU okay?”.

Beau is the kind of mousy voiced character that always somehow manages to get himself in (deeper) trouble. Or at least deeper than before. Either in spite of his good intentions or without even having to do anything at all. Like that accident after which he is out cold or in coma and then somehow ends up with a psychotic version of mister Feeny (with a little bit of Annie Wilkes thrown in for good measure).

And from there, it keeps getting weirder and weirder. Just the people in that house alone. There's a couple with Misery-levels of warmth and pleasantness that only have you wonder about what lurks beneath the surface. Also because the director is Ari Aster, the (uncrowned) king of unheimlichkeit. Jeeves – an army veteran with PTSD out the wazoo – can snap and go on a killing spree at pretty much any given moment. And the daughter... well... first, she hates Beau, then she makes him smoke what I hope is weed before she takes her life in an unexplicable way and the only thing you need to know that everybody somehow ends up thinking that it's all his fault.

He then ends up with a bohemian theater community and then it gets really weird, with fashbacks and flashforwards, with Beau reuniting with his childhood crush, having sex with her and then somehow ending up killing her in the process (again, through no fault of his own).

And, as contradictory as this may sound... the more I was confused, the more I was fascinated. I wanted to know what came next, create some order in the chaos and you know what? I just wanted everything to end well for the poor bastard.

This movie is not for everyone. It might make you uncomfortable to the point where you want it to end of turn it off. But that level of discomfort is what it had in mind as a goal. So you know what you are getting into when you watch an Ari Aster flick. Also, when the end seemingly comes out of nowhere, I could not help but think “that's it? I want to know more”.

If any of this has swayed your confidence in the slightest, then you might to give this one a skip. But if you are touched by it, it will be profoundly.

Bayi Ajaib 2023 ★★★½

Amateur sales pitch: this movie opens with a pregnant woman being raped by what can only be described as Father Christmas in pyjamas. Just the right amount of what the hell to get you as a viewer intrigued.

The general is nothing special. Life in exchange for wealth and prosperity and all the trouble that come with that. Add a conventional twist ending and you are done.

What comes in between can best be described as an Indonesian knock off of The Omen with some good effects (with the possessed child looking like a better version of Threefinger) and decently worked out dread. Not to mention the father, whose moustache and sometimes jovial and sometimes ruthless demeanor kind of reminded me of Daniel Day Lewis' character in Gangs of NewYork.

For fans of religious or non-English spoken horror.

Deathly 2015 ★★★

An entertaining short with a nice jump scare and a well worked out revenge theme.

I'm glad the makers got Alan Ruck to star in this one. Not just because it's nice to be able to recognize people in the cast. Also because he looks innocent and sympathetic enough to give him the benefit of the doubt, longer than one perhaps should.

That said, the last shot seems a bit redundant. Perhaps better to end on the family photo.

FryeDwight

09-15-2023, 02:16 AM

THREE TO TANGO (1999). Absolutely dreadful "comedy" involving a married Business Tycoon who, to ensure some work being done for him, hires a client (whom He believes is gay) to spy on his girlfriend to make sure She is not hit on by other boyfriends. Of course, the Spy (who is not gay) and the girlfriend fall in love.

This plays very much like a FRIENDS episode, lots of forced antics to provoke laughs, all sorts of cutesy moments and a quite disparaging attitudes towards gay people. Neve Campbell talks as though She has ingested helium and Matt Perry is basically playing the same doofus He played on that lamentable (albeit quite popular and long running::confused::) series. 1/2

Amaltheaunicorn2023

09-16-2023, 05:06 AM

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classic_horror_fan

09-17-2023, 07:11 AM

"Safe Zone: The Making Of Safe Zone" is actually a feature length comedy mockumentary on a failed zombie film. It has a good realistic outlook on what it is actually like trying to make a feature length film, especially on a low budget, which is a lot different from how a lot of people think it is. It also has plenty of interviews and behind the scenes footage. It even has a lot of scenes from the failed movie that are actually cool and intense looking. The zombies are also cool and intense looking themselves. There is also a bizarre eye opening scene where a meth good ties and up and screws a female zombie, only to get shot in the heart for it. There is also a scene with Lumpy Trunks the clown turning into a zombie while performing at a kid's birthday party, eats everybody at it, then to get wasted by John the zombie hunter, only John also has to blow his own brains out afterward due to getting bit while in his process, followed by a funny behind the scenes shot with the actor who plays John then getting up to say, "Okay." The director gets onto a trip into thinking he is making a Sundance ready zombie film, only to have everybody else clearly see the project is falling apart more and more as it goes along. He even has his main actors quitting left and right with his replacement actors not even doing that good, if even showing at all. He then needs to get back into a warehouse he was shooting at, but its owner was charging too much to use it anymore. It eventually twists to a sad but touching ending to where you can feel sorry for he guy, with a lot of emotion clearly being there. This one has a similar plot and humor to "Diary Of The Dead," "The Dead Hate The Living," "Not Another B Movie," "Cut Throat," "American Zombie Film," and the like. ::cool::