Ninja Assassin Movie Review
Ninja Assassin Movie Review
Not nearly as stealthy as its namesake.
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Much as I like the stars, the setup, and the general look of V For Vendetta, I never saw it. That film's director (James McTeigue) and producers (The Wachowski Bros.) reteam now for Ninja Assassin, a blood-drenched dance through deadly original source material scripted by J. Michael Strazynski. If the hamfisted Ninja Assassin is any indication, then I haven't missed a thing and don't need to see V For Vendetta after all.
I will acquiesce Ninja Assassin does have several kickass sequences which totally work in a self-contained manner. Unfortunately, there are some serious story and acting issues which I found impossible to overlook. If all you want is gore and action, not unlike the uber-violent videogames that inspired this tale of terror, then perhaps you'll find the flick worth a peek.
Here's the lowdown: A deeply troubled and angry mercenary named Raizo (played by Korean pop star Rain) teams up with Europol librarian, Mika (Naomie Harris, best-known to horror hounds for her role in 28 Days Later), and together they fend off and fight nefarious underworld types. There's a somewhat supernatural undercurrent to the pulverizing proceedings, but it probably won't be enough for genre fans. (Or fans of logic, sense and reason.) What's more, the uber-villain, played by martial arts popcorn movie 80s-fave Shô Kosugi, comes off far too cartoony; therefore the flashbacks to Raizo's abusive past at his master's hands lose their punch.
The story is definitely loopy beyond all comprehension and the license taken (I won't even call it "artistic license") is gobsmacking. The egregious overuse of CG and the too-dark cinematography is unconscionable… but, I have to bring it back around to the pure adrenaline killing spree aspect of it all. There's an impressive opening sequence which grabs attention right away and sprays a helluva lot of wetwork. There's a cool Cube meets Resident Evil (and lots of others) man-slicing scene that's sure to induce chills, plus a scrappy sequence in a public restroom that would make even William Lustig think twice about using that last stall.
So, I have to give it up just a little bit, because Ninja Assassin has a suspenseful slasher angle to it which sets it apart from most films of this genre.
That is not to say I recommend Ninja Assassin. In fact, here's my disclaimer: This review is meant for educational purposes only. Void where prohibited. Any resemblance to persons living or undead, is purely coincidental. Some assembly required after rope-dart action scenes. Batteries not included. Watch only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not watch while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Apply only to affected area. May be too imbecilic for some viewers. This supersedes all previous notices.
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson
Latest User Comments:
| Ninja Assassin - meh | |
| I read your review of Ninja Assassin and agree with it. I was bored to tears by story and the action choreography wasn't inspired enough to make up for it. . . although there were some very cool moments with the ninjas sneaking out of the shadows. I guess is not any better or worse than some of the Ninja flicks produced by Cannon Films back in the 80s. . . (my personal favorite being the outrageously violent "Revenge of the Ninja") | |
| 11-30-2009 by bfeeney | discuss |