The Last House on the Left (2009) Review
The Last House on the Left (2009) Review
A Remake in Foreclosure
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Horror honcho Wes Craven may have made more money and set cooler trends with his scary yet funny fright-flicks like A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream, but prior to that in the 1970s he put himself on the market with bleak, shocking and controversial movies like The Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes. (And yet, there was still a touch of slapstick those movies… both of the remakes shed that, and wholly embraced only their brutal beginnings).
Most of The Last House on the Left is totally given away in the trailer (even the ending!), so if you have not seen that yet, I'd advise you do not peek. If you have seen the original, then you might like to know that a lot's changed, including the parents' motivation for the ultimate revenge. In this version, their reaction is way beyond the pale. It's no secret the story is about a teenage girl, Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton), who gets kidnapped by a family of drug-dealing thugs on the lam and is viciously attacked.
Her parents John and Emma (Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter), exact horrible revenge on a dark, rainy night in their isolated cabin by the lake… the eponymous "last house on the left." But the less you know, the better. Furthermore, it's probably better if you haven't seen the '72 version. (I didn't, before seeing this, but I already knew everything about it.)
In the beginning, we learn that The Collingwoods have suffered the loss of their eldest son, leaving Mari feeling alone and out to prove something. She can take care of herself. She is a winner (swimming champion), and she is a survivor (that that, drug-dealing thug!). After she is kidnapped, Mari tries to appeal to the youngest and most malleable of the clan, Justin (Spencer Treat Clark). Justin's father, Krug (Garret Dillahunt), his uncle Francis (Aaron Paul), and the obligatory moll (Sadie, played by Riki Lindhome), are just too much for the teens to stand up to… and bad, bad things happen.
Meanwhile, back at the cabin, John and Emma are completely blindsided when everyone winds up seeking shelter from the rain. However, their confusion and fear quickly turns to rage and a deadly fight for their survival as they face off with the wily criminals.
The Last House on the Left has all the right thriller beats, and hits all the hot buttons, but it feels slick and perfectly paced to the nth degree, almost as if crafted by test audiences. It is — and I am not saying this is good, or bad — very reminiscent of the Funny Games and Friday the 13th remakes, as well as The Strangers. It looks gorgeous, the acting is tops, the villains are mean as hell, and the death scenes are nasty. However there is a difference between giving the people what they want, and being predictable.
The Last House on the Left is, unfortunately, predictable. Sure, it's worth a look for fans of gory home-invasion thrillers as it is not boring and everyone's up to snuff — but it's got no spark or ingenuity. I liked well enough it as it was playing out, but it's not a movie I'd seek out again because I had no emotional connection to it whatsoever.
Fortunately, the cast is stellar across the board. Dillahunt is a demonic delight as the baddie (stereotypical though he may be written), and it's a pleasure to see Goldwyn again on-screen (he's mostly directing these days). The two have a mighty battle that's quite a clash of the non-titans. (Unfortunately, there is a cheesy pop-lite cover of Guns 'n Roses' "Sweet Child O' Mine"… only Rob Zombie can get away with such heavy-handedness, and I don't know if even he would have dared this!)
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson