Teeth
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I learned so much from watching Teeth. I learned that men lie to get sex; that dogs will eat just about anything; and that it's really, really important to floss twice a day.
Here's the lowdown on an educational little fright flick called Teeth: Young, beautiful, blonde Dawn (Jess Weixler) is passionate: Passionate about celibacy and remaining true to Jesus, that is. She’s the ra-ra girl for her school’s Just Say No club (called The Promise), of which there are surprisingly several members. However, some of them are just hoping to use their members on the innocent adolescent ladies who simply don’t know what they're missing. These are the kinds of guys who like their women with mouths closed, and legs open… until they meet Dawn.
Dishy Dawn, you see, has a rather unusual physical abnormality – the scientific term is Vagina Dentata, and the layman’s meaning is that she’s got a set of choppers in her cooch. This crazy concept is nothing new; it's been a feminine fable for generations and not too long ago there was even another indie of this ilk, Penetration Angst, starring Fiona Horsey as the beleaguered babe. (However, Penetration Angst was much darker fare meant to shock and scare; Teeth is more darkly comic and purposely thought-provoking.)
Her congenital condition is quite unknown to goody-goody Dawn (what, no severed tampons somewhere along the way to give her an inkling?), but an early and very traumatizing event has affected her entire family: most notably her step-brother (John Hensley), who was left with a horribly scarred finger, a penchant for backdoor entry only, and a strange longing for Dawn.
Similar to Lucky McKee's May, but not as dour in its approach, the story focuses firmly on its idiosyncratic but likable heroine. Weixler shines as a young woman who's both innocent and naughty, while also maintaining an interesting balance of cunning and naiveté. Dawn is the rare blonde horror movie teen whose arc you actually want to see through from beginning to end.
Which is not to say that Teeth isn't without its problems. It's more a curio than a classic, but it's reasonably fun, quirky, gory, sexy, silly and smart all at once — not a bad way to spend an hour and half in a movie theater, and certainly worth the price of admission for those desirous of supporting unique ideas in our genre.
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson