Captivity (DVD)

When somebody says, "You throw pretty good. For a girl." or, "That turtleneck looks good on you. It hides your double chin." it's not exactly a compliment. So when I say that Captivity is not as bad as I thought it would be, don't think I'm readying the dungeon screening room for part 2. I've seen quite enough of Captivity thank you, but I have to say that once was more tolerable than I expected.

Captivity, in case you yourself have been held in a dungeon for the past six months or so, is the seedy torture-porn horror movie that was released by After Dark Films amid controversy surrounding not only the misogyny-saturated story line, but the gratuitous billboards, bus ads, and taxi tops plastered all over L.A. and New York which showed graphic imagery.

Studio Briefing reported on March 30, 2007, "In an unprecedented action, the MPAA suspended the ratings process for 30 days for After Dark Films's horror flick Captivity after unapproved ads for it appeared … Referring to the unauthorized ads for the film, Marilyn Gordon, the MPAA's senior VP for advertising, said in a statement: 'The sanctions in this case are severe because this was an unacceptable and flagrant violation of MPAA rules and procedures.'"

In spite of all the publicity (any publicity is good publicity, right?), the film didn't perform at the box office and was lambasted by mainstream and genre critics alike. The Sunday Times wrote, "If you want to see the sexy blonde from 24 held captive in a dungeon by a psycho and subjected to various disgusting torments, then rush to see Captivity. Alternately, seek psychiatric help." Dread Central said, "Those praying for the death of torture porn can finally rejoice: Captivity not only hammers the final nail, it also buries the casket and pisses on the soil."

The nothing-new story introduces Paris Hilton-like blonde celebutante Jennifer Tree (Elisha Cuthbert) in her jet-setting fast-lane everyday life, then follows her miserable machinations after she's been abducted and thrown headfirst into a tiny, desolate underground chamber by an unseen sadistic freak who forces her into the most impossible situations imaginable. Before long, Jennifer discovers an ally in Gary (Daniel Gillies), a young man being held in an adjoining cell. Together, the clueless pair searches for ways to escape their dire situation... and somewhere along the way, the fall in love. Aw, ain't pain grand?

There are several moments engineered to be shocking (a bloody milk shake force-fed, a pet poodle gets blown to bits, a mom seduces her young son) but they really only come off as skeevy and sickening. The acting is over-the-top, the direction is fairly obvious, the story and characters ridiculous, and the two-twist ending is a real eyeball-roller.

So why didn't I hate Captivity? Simple: It wasn't boring.

I cannot even begin to tell you not only how many DVDs I watch day in and day out every week — from big budget studio movies to indies made on consumer-DV cams — but just how many of them are so dull, tedious and talky that I can barely remember anything about them just five minutes after I've removed the disc from my player.

At least with Captivity the pace is brisk, it's lurid as you can imagine, and there's nothing sacred when it comes to the gross-out factor. What's more, the effects and cinematography help bring these vile visuals to full fruition, and I could see everything in its gory glory. What's more the stupidity of the characters is laughable, and it's almost fun to see the actors squirming just under their skins as they themselves must have felt tormented in an altogether different way.

If you like your cinema sick, then Captivity unleashes the goods in spades. If you want your torture-terror with a little less recoil and a little more bang, then go check out Saw IV instead (now in theaters).

As for the DVD extras, you get:

• Six deleted scenes, including two alternate endings.

• On The Set Of Captivity

• Making Of Captivity

• English and Spanish subtitles

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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson