Them (aka, Ils)

French directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud are currently putting the finishing touches on their remake of the Hong Kong Pang Bros. hit, The Eye, in America. Before seeing their most commercial effort (starring Jessica Alba and everything!) go back and check out Them, a bare-bones thriller so stripped down it doesn't even have its underwear on. (Well, OK – sexy star Olivia Bonamy isn't wearing a bra, if that counts for anything.)

Bonamy plays Clémentine, the attentive, attractive girlfriend of frustrated writer Lucas (Michael Cohen). She's a teacher of French in a Hungarian school, and that's basically all you need to know. Because that's basically all you'll ever know. Things like back story, character development, exposition and your requisite hand-holding simply don't exist in Them. It's just them (Clem and Lucas) on the run from them (unknown assailants).

The chase begins after night falls on the couple's modest, lonely little house. It's dark, and the situation is made darker still by their power being cut, their car stolen, and their home invaded. The stalking and screaming goes on indoors for a bit, then travels out of doors, through the woods, and finally into an underground labyrinth.

Them never shows the antagonist's point of view, nor does it ever steer away from the plight of our chased couple — for some viewers, this will be an exhilarating thrill ride. For others, it will become tedious. I fall into the latter category.

Unlike The Descent, a British horror film with which is shares a few base similarities, Them is a one-note jolt. The de-saturated colors, shaky-cam, and downer finale don't help matters, but that's not to say there isn't talent o' plenty here — the acting is gritty and believable, the tension-level stays cranked tight, and the accoutrements (sound design, in particular) are all top notch.

When all (which is actually very little) is said and done, Them isn't all that.

= = =