We've all seen at least one (OK, one hundred) horror movies that begin with stranded motorists, a desolate setting, and an isolated, seedy motel run by a lone, creepy clerk. 1962's Psycho certainly didn't start the trend, but it popularized it and the tried and true formula has not been given a rest yet.

Voyeurism is another common theme in many horror movies, and that's here too. Plus the obligatory rat-infested tunnel, cockroaches, and gooey vomit. Let's not forget the botched 9-1-1 calls, cars that won't start, people shot through with more holes than a collander and yet still live, and so on…

It's true that Vacancy covers no new ground whatsoever and doesn't even try, but fortunately the star power helps. Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson play Amy and David, a bickering married couple each at the end of their individual ropes, stuck together in a car on a long, night drive that of course goes off-course and puts them into deadly danger at the no-tell motel.

While both actors are known for certain types of characters (she kicking ass in black leather, he as the perennially sweet boyfriend) each have range and they do an excellent job here in spite of aggregious script-induced limitations. The material is far beneath the thesps, but if you're a non-squeamish fan of Beckinsale or Wilson, you might like to see their twists on the "victim" role.

Once Amy and David are checked into their dank, grungy room, they decide to kill some time by watching the VCR tapes stacked atop the TV set. At first, they think they are simply viewing some low-budget torture porn horror movies, but soon recognize the "set" in every movie as the very room in which they reside! Somebody's making snuff films, and Amy and David are being made ready for their close-ups! (I needed to add those exclamation points to try and keep my own level of enthusiasm up.)

What follows are routine chase scenes, indestructible villains in ridiculous Halloween-style masks, running, crying, screaming, near-rescues and declarations of love between the doomed couple — all set to a screeching soundtrack by Underworld's Paul Haslinger and surprisingly dreary cinematography from Pulp Fiction's Andrzej Sekula.

Vacancy boils down to a Saw film without the canny killer, Hostel sans the humor, and The Devil's Rejects missing the nail-biting tension.

= = =

Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson