Masters of Horror – The Washingtonians (TV)
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I've idly wondered what sort of snacks George Washington would have been able to nosh on, with those wooden choppers of his. I guess the plus side is, he always had a built-in toothpick… but no matter what, the meat to chew had to be awfully tender. The latest episode of Masters of Horror, The Washingtonians, addresses just this issue.
When Mike Franks' (Johnathon Schaech, who cowrote this episode with Richard Chizmar) grandmother dies, he is left her stately Southern Gothic mansion, and all its contents. He takes the long drive into the country with his family, wife Pam (Venus Terzo) and 10-year-old daughter, to check out his inheritance and to attend Grandma's funeral. He grew up in her house, and it always spooked him… especially the dark, dusty basement.
Before long, Mike's young daughter ventures down the rickety stairs and uncovers a magnificent portrait of George Washington, half-hidden in a shadowy corner. Turns out, the painting is concealing a very nasty secret about the Father of our Country… it's a handwritten note from him about his craving for succulent human-child flesh, and even contains a fork made from kids' bones.
Once the malevolent missive is deemed authentic by an expert historian (Saul Rubinek), Franks and his family become the targets of the townspeople, who will stop at nothing to protect the legacy of Washington… and his foodie followers, who still uphold the terrible tradition to this day.
The Washingtonians is an over-the-top black comedy in the same vein as Family and The Screwfly Solution (also season two), so if you enjoyed those episodes you should want to sink your teeth right in. The dialogue is funny, the acting is overt, and the gore is gruesome. Personally, I found the episode too uneven to fully enjoy, but I must say I've never heard of such a plot for a horror film (it's based upon a short story by Bently Little).
The episode is directed by Peter Medak, who also brought us The Changeling, Zorro The Gay Blade, and Anne Rice's Feast of all Saints. It debuts on Showtime at 10 p.m. on Friday, January 26.
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson