Mortuary (DVD)

Tobe Hooper's had a rather tumultuous career in the horror movie biz — reaching incredible highs and plumbing some rather abysmal depths. He's had such a long run that inevitably, a lot of his output is going to fall somewhere in the middle. That's where Mortuary is; far from terrible, but not exactly the second-coming of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre either. (If you'd like the middle-ground narrowed even more, I'd say this is better than Dance of the Dead, but not as good as Toolbox Murders.)

The story follows the Doyle family — recently widowed mom Leslie (Denise Crosby), and her two kids, teenaged Jonathan (Dan Byrd) and precious little girl Jamie (Stephanie Patton) — as they make a new start in a new town. Leslie, a trained embalmer, is going to run the rundown Fowler Brothers Funeral Home. If this place is prime for a "new start" I'd really hate to see their old digs… the ratty residence looks ready for the Last Rites itself. Surrounded by a mud bog and swarming in a creeping mold, the place is less than home-sweet-home. But it's the perfect setting for a horror movie.

The family gets their first hint that something is not quite right when furtive movement is spotted in the mini-cemetery that flanks their home. Then stories come to light about the horribly disfigured creature who lives in one of the tombs; it's said that Bobby Fowler (Price Carson) is out to get anyone who tries to tread on his territory. To make matters worse the meandering mold is beginning to grow, and the corpses that Leslie's recently embalmed won't stay dead.

Mortuary is reasonably well-acted. Byrd is the standout, as he's proven himself already in two great horror outings (the Salem's Lot remake, and The Hills Have Eyes remake). Alexandra Adi is good as Jonathan's love interest, but is miscast as a teenager (she was 30 when the movie was shot). Cream-puff Courtney Peldon comes through surprisingly well when the heat is on, and Denise Crosby is believable as the beleaguered mom. Everyone, with a few missteps here and there (it looks as though there wasn't a lot of time for rehearsals on some of the scenes) is relatively up to snuff when compared with other straight-to-disc fare.

The weakest things about Mortuary are the uninspired cinematography and the egregiously inferior CG effects. The makeup effects are pretty good, if a bit overdone, but the shots of the growing mold, the Lovecraftian well, and various moments of murder (an arm going through a body, and a decapitation) are more laughable than scary. That's a shame, because an otherwise decent script (funny dialogue and a good story) and deft direction (Hooper moves things right along and gives you plenty of info in every scene) are marred by sub-par visuals.

The DVD has a lot of additional release material, which is sure to please Hooper's fans.

First up, there is a commentary from Hooper, along with two members of his regular production team, Alan Somers (producer) and Andrew Cohen (associate producer, editor).

Some of my favorite comments include a story from Hooper, in which he talks about eating his lunch on top of one of the "pre-owned" coffins, then later finding out that the corpse who once occupied it left a little bit of himself behind. This, according to Hooper, is "corpse jerky." During a scene that shows vomit flowing from one zombie's piehole to another, Hooper says, "Mouth to mouth puking — I get off on it." Spoken like a true master of horror!

There is also some discussion of one of the screenwriters, Adam Gierasch, writing in a rather punishing role for himself. (Jace Anderson is the other screenwriter.) He plays an undead piano teacher, Mr. Barstow, and he had to undergo several hours of makeup each day. One of the commentators muses, "Was it worse for him, or for the makeup people who had to deal with him?" The trio jokes about Gierasch doing rewrites in full zombie regalia, and what it was like seeing the "monster" working in another capacity between shots.

The Making-of featurette runs nearly one hour and it covers everything you ever wanted to know about shooting Mortuary. Some members of the crew talk about the "haunted" location, and the eerie goings-on. It seems that every horror movie has to have a back-story like this. If I had a dime for every one I've heard in the past few years, I'd have enough coin to rival the tooth fairy.

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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson