Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys (DVD)

When you pop a disc called Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys into your DVD player, you can’t possibly be expecting a cerebral cinematic experience. Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys definitely delivers the dumb goods, and it’s actually kind of fun at first.

Starring Corey Feldman (who seems to be emulating a disheveled Charlie Sheen) as puppetmaster Robert Toulon and Vanessa Angel (camping it up, big time) as toy-mogul Erica Sharpe, the movie is all about the battle for innocent souls. Sharpe wants to feed them to her favorite demon (Anton Falk buried in a really deplorable devil-suit), while Toulon wants to save them. Blade, Pinhead and Jester are practically — gasp! — good guys in this movie, while the foul-fannied Baby Oopsie, the silent teddy bear and the grotesque Jack-in-the-Box are out to kill anyone in their paths.

I’ve seen the Puppermaster films, but have never caught any of the Demonic Toys flicks; as far as the villains go, the puppets are a lot more inventive and inherently scary (though nothing is truly frightening in Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys — it’s much more a camp film).

Obviously, Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys is a low-budget film. The same segue shots (a truck driving though a gate, and the Toy Hospital sign) are used several times, and ghastly wardrobe is topped by even worse hairstyles, wigs, and extensions. The acting is mostly poor, but Feldman and Angel are fun — at least, they look like they’re having some fun. In having to deliver lines like, “Baby Oopsie kicked my butt!” you’d better have a sense of humor (either that, or teetering on the edge of bankruptcy).

Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys has been slammed in a lot of reviews, but it’s not the kind of movie that garners a lot of accolades anyway; the filmmakers know who their audience is and they cater to them. I was actually enjoying the movie at first, but I found myself getting terribly bored less than halfway through. The problem is, there isn’t enough attention paid to building the story, adding suspense, and giving the toys screentime. The death scenes are surprisingly tame, and the love-story angle is lame.

There are a few fun moments here and there, and if you’re an Angel or Feldman fan you’ll dig their shtick. Other than that, Puppetmaster Vs Satanic Toys isn’t much of a play-date.

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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson