Review of "Blood Cult" (1985) (DVD)

"I love horror movies. Slashers are my favorite. But make no bones about it. There are some really bad apples out there. Some disgrace the entire term "slasher" and definitely don't help out in the overall horror department."

If you looked up a movie called "Blood Cult" in the unwritten horror movie dictionary, you may read a statement similar to the one above. Maybe I should write that - but first, here is my review for this waste of celluloid that would have been better off if used for toilet paper.

Jesus Christ! Was this story awful, or was it horrible? I can't decide between those two words. A killer is striking at a Midwestern college. The murderer is killing women, taking one of their body parts, and leaving a gold amulet. The killings are being done by a group called (duh) the Blood Cult.

The acting - oh my God, the acting. I don't even know were to start. The actors sound like the people in one of those local cable TV lawyer office commercials. I am very vocal about the fact that I don't watch horror movies or any movies for the looks of the cast, but Blood Cult - geez - this movie has some of the ugliest people ever assembled in film history. What's worse, it has the ugliest couple in history, and they are playing lead rolls. They make out, time and time again. The lead female, who is also the cop's daughter, is a college student living in a dorm, and she has got to be frigging 40! It's bad. Real bad.

This movie had the same mood and feel as one of those library instructional videos you have to sit through in elementary and middle school. Seriously - it does. There is a scene in which the cop goes to the library to research the "Blood Cult", and it looks just like one of those videos. I was waiting on that old dude to ask questions about the card catalog. At least they spare us that. I think this director just bought a frigging camcorder and said, "Do whatever the hell you guys want."

There...my first 0. Why? I don't think I'll ever watch it again.

"Blood Cult" is probably at the bottom of the pile of slasher films. What's worse, this movie has a friggin' sequel. It's simply called "Revenge". I don't think I'll ever give that one a chance. I can't believe that this movie somehow made it to DVD. The DVD has nothing to offer. It has a "promotional" video which is an extra long crappy trailer, and that's about it. I can't believe I own this one. I bought it for really cheap - and used at that - but still, I own it.

The movie states on the back, and I quote, "Crafted in the tradition of such horror classics as PSYCHO and HALLOWEEN". Maybe they should say, "This movie is what would happen if 'Halloween' and 'Psycho' were both human, and Psycho took a nasty crap and Halloween puked right on top of it." That would be more believable. It also says, "After seeing it, you may never want to leave the safety of your home again." I was damn well ready to leave before the movie was half over, Blood Cult knocking at my door or not.