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#1
06-30-2004, 07:10 AM
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bored
send in your best and worst jokes
a man has a woman on his back and somone else asks him why. so he says im going to a fancy dress party as a turtle so the other one says whos that on your back then and he says thats michelle. its the best i can do 
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#2
06-30-2004, 07:11 AM
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Um ... why do gorillas have big fingers?
Because they have big nostrils.
__________________
FROM GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES AND LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT, GOOD LORD DELIVER TO US! Old Scotch Invocation -- adapted by Stingy Jack Stingy's Horror DVD Collection
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#3
06-30-2004, 07:12 AM
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That is terrible... In a "groan, but that was funny" way.
A man comes home early from work one day. he runs up stairs to suprise his wife with flowers, when he hears some noise. Slowly he walks into the roo, and finds her naked, stardling another man. He shouts "What the fuck are you doing?" His wife looks at the other man and says "See, i told you he was stupid"
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#4
06-30-2004, 07:13 AM
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a man phones up a take away and says do you deliver and they say no we do lamb chicken and beef
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#5
06-30-2004, 07:14 AM
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#6
06-30-2004, 07:20 AM
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jesus, those are bad fatty, but i keep laughing....:)
A koala lands in LA. After 12 hours on a plane, he is a little horny, so he finds a woman on the street and proposes that they have sex. She tells him "Okay, but you know, I'm a prostitue..." He says he doesnt care, he wants some, and is thrilled that a woman actually said yes. So they go to his hotel room, and he is a manly koala, so they finish in about 3 hours. once he is done, the koala starts putting on some clothes and is getting ready to go out. The prostitute says "Hey buddy, you have to pay before you go." He gives her a funny look. "huh"? The prostitute opens a drawer and pulls out a dictionary. (this hotel is interested in education:rolleyes: ) she pouints to the word Prostitute and reads out: "Prostitute: A person (usually female) who has sex for money" The koala goes "Oh, okay, but that doesnt matter. I'm a koala" "So" "Look that up" So she reads: "Koala: Small, bear-like marsupial from Australia that eats bush and leaves"
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#7
06-30-2004, 07:24 AM
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hehehehe a typical koala
a butcher said he fired a young man for sticking his dick in the bacon slicer. so the customer says (obviously not horrified) what happened to the bacon slicer so he says i fired her to
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#8
06-30-2004, 07:24 AM
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Okay, so you all know Gandhi. Although many would say he was a great man, he actually had a lot against him. He would walk around, oftentimes barefoot, and spread his ideas of peace. These walks, of course, would mess up his feet, giving him hard callouses on his soles. Also, he would fast often, and his oral hygeine left much to be desired. Because of these things, by the end of his life, he was very thin and frail. In fact, you could say he was a
Super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis! :D Anybody get the pun, there? I can't type my jokes. I'm more of an improv guy ... and I need facial expressions, too. <sigh>
__________________
FROM GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES AND LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT, GOOD LORD DELIVER TO US! Old Scotch Invocation -- adapted by Stingy Jack Stingy's Horror DVD Collection
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#9
06-30-2004, 07:27 AM
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think i get it
man has 5 testicles and the doctor says good god how do your pants fit and he says like a glove a man has a steering wheel down his pants and the doctor says how does it feel and he says its driving me nuts
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#10
06-30-2004, 07:31 AM
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Quote:
Two guys are driving through texas. They get pulled over. The state trooper walk up to the driver's side, and whacks the driver in the forehead with his nightstick. "we dont much care for speeders in texas, boy. Dig out your license and registration." he then walks around to the passenger side, taps on the window. The passenger roll sit down, and the trooper whacks himin the forehead, too. "What the hellwas that for?" said the passenger. "I'm just fulfilling your wish," "My Wish?" "Yeah, a mile or so down the road, you would have told your freind 'I wish he would have tried that shit with me.'"
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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