European English...

[_____V_____]

Inspired by the latest "Horror novel" thread by bleeding_angelgirl, I wish to share this (didnt want to post in that thread because...well...they are still "wrighting a novel") :-



European English :
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".



- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.



- In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.



- By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".



- During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.



- Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.






poor Shakespeare...must be turning in his grave eh?

(hint...for amusement purpose only)

[ferretchucker]

lol. Knowing tony blaire, he would be willing to do that. Can't wait til the conservatives take over again. BRING BACK MAGGIE THATCHER! Bloody europe is ruining england. I consider great britain a continent in it's own right. Thank god we didn't turn to the *shudder* euro.

[_____V_____]

If it ever happens...

Will that be regeneration?

or degeneration?





stuff to ponder about...

[newb]

[QUOTE=_____V_____;














- Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.






[/QUOTE]

hee hee.......reminded me of Siegfried from "Get Smart"




which BTW holds up very well....I have been watching the first season and its funny as hell.

[AmericanManiac]

Thanks for the lesson now I can go tell my mom I learn German today! :D I didn't think I was going to be able to read that last sentance but, I suprised myself and got it!

[ferretchucker]

did you do that yourself or get off it a website because it is just hilarious

[_____V_____]

It was a forwarded email from a friend.

Thought it was insanely funny so posted it here.

[Papillon Noir]

That's the funniest thing I've read all day. :D

[stubbornforgey]

txt messaging ruined the english language..
txting i say and hip hoppers who can't speak clear enough

[ferretchucker]

when I read a text I read it as it is. i.e - I pronounce txt, tckst