My Husband and I are Seperated.

[novakru]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey

a thread that has no replies ..which states clearly to the person that no one gives a fuck.

I'm SO glad you said this! Because even though I am well aware that this response has nothing to do with me,it's something I have been wondering about for some time.
I got several PM's about cheeba calling me a cunt and how mean that was etc etc...but no one said a thing in the threads about it, so actually I now know what people really think of me here.
Thanks Stubborn.:)
I also realize how if someone is not liked by the higher ups here-how it's perfectly acceptable for them to be called a Cunt,even though the banning rules say otherwise about it.

[Posher778]

Originally posted by novakru
I'm SO glad you said this! Because even though I am well aware that this response has nothing to do with me,it's something I have been wondering about for some time.
I got several PM's about cheeba calling me a cunt and how mean that was etc etc...but no one said a thing in the threads about it, so actually I now know what people really think of me here.
Thanks Stubborn.:)
I also realize how if someone is not liked by the higher ups here-how it's perfectly acceptable for them to be called a Cunt,even though the banning rules say otherwise about it.

Dunno what's going on, but, why would people not like you? I think you're awesome. *motivational thumbs up*

[Haunted]

Nova, you are one of the few people that I would ever call a cunt. I think you're purdy cool.:)

Stubborn, preach it, sister!!:)

Trish, put your daughter first, and do what you gotta do, babe.

[Despare]

Originally posted by wood_elf_pansy
IYeah, he may be an alcoholic but, that is a disease. Would people leave there spouses because they had Alzheimer's?

That's disrespectful to anybody with Alzheimer's. I've had alchoalism effect friends and family and it's an addiction. Are you saying heroin addicts have a disease? Are you saying smokers have a disease? I've seen a few people work through their addiction and quit drinking completely... it's not that easy if you have Alzheimer's.

[meetthecreeper]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey

Who the hell is pouncing on her?

Maybe he was refering to me I dont know.

I wasnt pouncing on her. Sometimes people in abusive relationships need someone to slap them in the face so they can see what the world that they are in.

Trippin' of all people I would expect you to know that. You have had friends in abusive relationships.

IMO the best thing for an alcoholic is let them hit rock bottom without dragging you down with them. If he knows that he can always use her as a crutch then why is he ever going to change???

I said that I wish her and her daughter the best and I was speaking as a former child that had an abusive alcoholic stepfather. I saw all the mistakes that my mother made and the fact that she made excuses for that behavior because frankly, she was being selfish. "I dont want to be alone. no one will want me, he is the love of my life " that kind of shit. I have been there done that and have seen it time and time again with my own family and friends.

YOu can call alcoholism a sickness, addiction or whatever you like, someone makes the choice to take the drink its not forced on you.

I am sure that she can do much better than someone like that. She may not think so but I believe she can.

And lets try and have a civil debate instead of resorting to childish name calling and insults.

[stubbornforgey]

Its not a debate..
t was never meant to be a debate..
It was a response..theres a big difference. .
Em hungry...anybody got a spare taco ??

[stubbornforgey]

Originally posted by novakru
I'm SO glad you said this! Because even though I am well aware that this response has nothing to do with me,it's something I have been wondering about for some time.
I got several PM's about cheeba calling me a cunt and how mean that was etc etc...but no one said a thing in the threads about it, so actually I now know what people really think of me here.
Thanks Stubborn.:)
I also realize how if someone is not liked by the higher ups here-how it's perfectly acceptable for them to be called a Cunt,even though the banning rules say otherwise about it.

Nova..?? a cunt..??
cunts are useful..just ask dr phil :D

[Marroe]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
I'm probably going to lose the few friends I have, but I could care less anymore. Give her a rest already. She's new to the Mommy arena. And now has to accept the Mommy arena and the Dad being an alcoholic DICKHEAD, ASSHOLE, PRICK, SON OF A BITCH part of the commitment. I have news for all of you. Not everyone posts here with problems for attention. There are a few of us that know each other......THAT NONE OF YOU KNOW!!!! And not for reasons you may want to bring to surface. So stifle.; JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!! I'm a pig, I'LL ADMIT IT!!!! Proud to admit it! But I do it where its requested. But at least I can say it, admit it and move on. I wonder who needs the growing up more. Pouncing on the insecure and vulnerable seems so easy around here.

Not jumping down your case or anything, I know all of you are just going by what you've read...and the case may seem that her husband is an "alcoholic DICKHEAD, ASSHOLE, PRICK, SON OF A BITCH", but he really isn't. I'm very good friends with Trish and her husband. Fuck, I can't even say that in the past I haven't got shit faced drunk with him SEVERAL times, and that hasn't helped his situation at all. But I know her husband is a great person and loves Trish and his kids more than anything in this world. But he does have a problem, and it IS a disease, which he needs help with. I also know that if she leaves him for good, his life will never get any better. I've seen him sober more since they've been married than I ever have before...and that may not be saying a lot, but it IS saying a lot at the same time. He needs his loved ones to get better, and becoming sober after abusing like he has is no easy task. Yes, his actions lately have not been good, I can't say I'm too happy with his actions at this moment....but that does not make him any of those above mentioned things.

Trish, you and Adam are my best friends and I love you both very much...I'll always be there for either of you, anytime, no matter where I am, ok? And sorry I haven't been able to talk to you in the mornings, I'll try and wake up a lil early tomorrow so we can do that. I miss ya girly. Chin up.

[Despare]

Just because he needs help it doesn't mean it's a disease. I understand that it's a horrible thing and most people can't just "get over it" by themselves but it's self inflicted. I'm not trying to be unsympathic and I really hope this guy gets help because even the best of people can be stricken including a few who were close to me. Anyway...

National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre, University of New South Wales, Kensington.

OBJECTIVE: To expound the argument that alcoholism (or "problem drinking") is not best regarded as a disease. SUMMARY: Excessive drinking can cause physical disease and involve physical dependence without therefore being a disease itself. The "disease concept" of alcoholism is not needed to justify medical intervention or a caring approach to those who are dependent on alcohol. There is a specific and a general version of the disease concept of alcoholism. The specific disease concept, associated mainly with the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, is contradicted by empirical evidence and unhelpful for preventive and treatment responses to problem drinking, especially for the effort to detect and modify problem drinking at an early stage. The more general disease concept shares these disadvantages and is also ineffective in engendering sympathetic attitudes towards problem drinkers among the general public. It is more useful to view problem drinking as the result of the interaction between the individual's personality and the social context in which he or she has learned how to drink. CONCLUSION: For an effective and compassionate societal response to problem drinking, the disease model of alcoholism should be replaced by a social learning perspective.

PMID: 1545723 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

I know it seems trite to debate this type of thing but I think calling it a disease is disrespectful to people with a disease that can't be helped. If you have Alzheimer's you can't just go to a support group or get help from those who love you and get better. I guess it was the Alzheimer's comparison that got to me even more than calling it a disease. Oh well, if you're offended too bad, I'm outspoken.

[Marroe]

I've always heard it referred to around here as a disease. In any case, whatever it is, it's something he needs emotional help and treatment for...and something she's not gonna turn her back on him for just because it's hard to deal with. I get where you're coming from, and we've ALL had/have family members with actual diseases, doesn't mean this isn't an improtant issue...so please stop trying to make it seem like it's not with your facts. You really should't take personal offense to alcoholism being called a disease. It may not be classifed as an actual "disease", I don't really care if it is or not....point is it's something him and everyone around him have too deal with and is he doesn't get help it could turn into a life or death situation. Trust me, it killed my Grandpa, Uncle, and soon my father. No one is being disrespectful, and I'm sure no one is offended by us calling it a disease except you.