My Husband and I are Seperated.

[Soloman Kane]

It sounds like Adams the one with the problem & this might not have anything to do with you. I'am sure that you feel you'll be there for him but as someone whose dealt with his far share of people with substance abuse issues take it from me. He's going to have to hit rock bottom on his own & then realize what he's missing. Its hard putting the pieces of one's life back together when it's just you doing the work. All of this is going to take time & believe me when I say it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done but it will happen. I've been through this & it simply hurts to see yourself doing the work & the other person hurling themselves into the abyss. Hang in there it's a very very long road to travel but your right your daughter is worth it. My 2 cents for what its worth.

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by Soloman Kane
He's going to have to hit rock bottom on his own & then realize what he's missing. Its hard putting the pieces of one's life back together when it's just you doing the work. All of this is going to take time & believe me when I say it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done but it will happen. I've been through this & it simply hurts to see yourself doing the work & the other person hurling themselves into the abyss. Hang in there it's a very very long road to travel but your right your daughter is worth it. My 2 cents for what its worth.

that is what I have been trying to tell his dad for the longest time and he just keeps paying the bills when he quits his job and moving back in to help keep things going even though he has a wife at home. I aparently hurt his feelings yesterday because I told him to live his own life and let his son deal with the fact that his daddy isn't always going to be there to pick him up when he falls down. He wont listen. I bet he is there right now cleaning up the puke or taking out the beer cans with pee on them(another long story). He isn't going to stop drinking or hit rock bottom with his father there to help. He isn't going to fix his family until he does. I wish that this would end already.

Thanks for your two cents Soloman.:)

[stubbornforgey]

Em sorry for what ever the hells going on
over there ..but ..what exactly is the problem ??
Your pissed cos he drank rum..he's pissed cos you smoked..
and he's pissed cos of your sister and wal-mart..
'note'..never move family members in to your home...they tend to forget to leave after awhile ..and make themselves
comfortable in interferring with your relationship'/s.

Sounds to me like the both of you are still children who had a child ..
and such a beautiful child she is too....
Holy fuckery!!!

As for you mona lisa...
your man complains cos you drink too much water??
These aren't men...these are little boys ..but the shitty part about both of your stories are..
you allowed these little boys to rule you .. from the start of the relationship..
and has continued to allow them to dictate to you...even after having children...and ..now it becomes a problem...AFTER THE CHILDREN..
Because of that alone..these little boys will always have an input into your lives...they don't want/need wives..girlfreinds...etc..
THEY WANT THEIR MUMMIES..
send them to thier mummies and tell her to keep them untill they reach puberty..
fucking morons

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Em sorry for what ever the hells going on
over there ..but ..what exactly is the problem ??
Your pissed cos he drank rum..he's pissed cos you smoked..
and he's pissed cos of your sister and wal-mart..
'note'..never move family members in to your home...they tend to forget to leave after awhile ..and make themselves
comfortable in interferring with your relationship'/s.

Sounds to me like the both of you are still children who had a child ..

I don't know how sincere you were being when writing this but, this is how I take it...

The problem is my husband is an alcoholic and yes I let him "rule" me but, only because I wanted to work things out. I couldn't fucking help falling in love with him. I didn't want the good part to end. The bad part just kept getting bigger. And on another note, You have NO RIGHT to call me a child. You don't know just how grown up I am. The only thing that I care about is the safety and happiness of my daughter. I wanted to have a family. That is why I had my daughter and got married, aparently he really wasn't ready for the commitment or responsibilty.
My sister has only been with us a week and a couple days and she worked at around the same time he did and he slept all day so he wouldn't have ever seen her. Plus she wasn't ever really there. She visited her boyfriend a lot.

You know what, normally I don't let things like this get to me but, for some unknown reason how you put that really got to me. My entire life I have done nothing but, take care of my siblings and want a family of my own. I am so far from being a CHILD. I am done talking about this now. I can't deal with this shit anymore. For me to come here looking for some comforting words or to know I am not alone with this shit and to get someone who thinks it is just fine to call me a child when I am the one who left him for acting like one so that I can be the Mother my daughter deserves brings me right back down to where I was yesterday. Thanks for the kind words I guess. I'll be off now.

[monalisa]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
My dad does the same thing i lost weight like 25 pounds and he said it wasnt enough.

Good for you losing 25 pounds! That's great. When I was younger I got picked on because I was too skinny, yes skinny people get picked on too). I hate to tell you this, but the older you get, the harder it is to lose weight. So, my point is, you're doing a great job now. Feel good for what you have done, don't let anyone else put you don't and think it's less that the accomplishment that it is! Now, if I could only get myself to take my own advise. :confused:

[noctuary]

It always saddens me to hear about marriages failing. In this case though, it truly sounds to me like your husband is the one at fault. Alcoholism is a terrible condition, and good on you for removing yourself from that situation. You should realize that he can't be a devoted and loving husband to you until (or if) he gets his own head straight. To sum up, don't put all the blame on yourself. I know it's much easier to assume that you are the one with the problem, I've been there. But if you put things in perspective, many times you'll realize that you've done everything you could possibly do in the situation. I hope things work out for you. :)

[stubbornforgey]

Well, he got sooper pissed because i smoked a cigarette even though the other day he drank rum(his excuse was it is low carb) and then he left me at his families house where his cousins baby's first bithday was taking place and his dad took Christopher(Adams son) home so I got high with his sisters and his aunt well, when i got home he asked if i smoked anything other than cigarettes and i said "i didn't say anything when you drank rum the other day" he said "that doesn't matter" and i said "fine it doesn't matter", .......


Where in here does it say ..'he's an alcoholic'??
Or are we again supposed to be able to read your fucking mind????
You re read this and tell me again how this
sounds like a real adult discusiion..!!
Your both acting like children..hence..you both are..
Also ..point out to me where it says..
my sisters only been with me a week ..??
And again..show me where em questioning your motherly skills..
BTW..everything i write is sincere..and if you can't take my comments are something other than..then..
'stubborn mumbles under her breath'

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
Where in here does it say ..'he's an alcoholic'??
Or are we again supposed to be able to read your fucking mind????
You re read this and tell me again how this
sounds like a real adult discusiion..!!
Your both acting like children..hence..you both are..
Also ..point out to me where it says..
my sisters only been with me a week ..??
And again..show me where em questioning your motherly skills..
BTW..everything i write is sincere..and if you can't take my comments are something other than..then..
'stubborn mumbles under her breath'

You know what, You're right, I didn't state that he was an alcoholic. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before somewhere else but, that is neither here nor there. I'm sorry for the responce I left you. I am just not myself lately. I am so upset by the way he could act toward myself and his daughter. I also didn't tell you that my sister had only been there a week so, I apologize for that as well.

In all sincerity, how am I acting like a child?

[wood_elf_pansy]

Originally posted by noctuary
It always saddens me to hear about marriages failing. In this case though, it truly sounds to me like your husband is the one at fault. Alcoholism is a terrible condition, and good on you for removing yourself from that situation. You should realize that he can't be a devoted and loving husband to you until (or if) he gets his own head straight. To sum up, don't put all the blame on yourself. I know it's much easier to assume that you are the one with the problem, I've been there. But if you put things in perspective, many times you'll realize that you've done everything you could possibly do in the situation. I hope things work out for you. :)

Thank you for your comment.

[monalisa]

OK Woody Elf (better than Elf Woody. HA-HA, never mind). Go find a comfortable chair and kick back. Take a couple minutes to just breathe. Breathe in so your abdomen, not your chest, goes up and down. When you breathe out, imagine all nasty thoughts getting blown out with your breath. Sounds silly, but it helps me to relax.

Hope it helps,
monalisa