Self Hating Rant

[bloodrayne]

I copy/pasted this for you, Ege...I really want you to think about it...I swear it's all true...Always try to think about what you HAVE, and not what you DON'T.......

Life is what you make of it, It isn't something that happens TO you, If you don't like it, change it......

Three steps to having anything you want in life...
1) Decide what it is that you want (that's the hardest one)
2) Figure out how to get it (There is ALWAYS a way)
3) DO IT

AND...We know who and what we are, far better than anyone else does, Our perception of ourselves is much more important than what others think of us (That means...Who gives a damn what other people think?) I'm going to be myself no matter what, I will only change something, about myself, if I don't like it

Just think about it, okay?

[Egekrusher]

I know exactly what I want: nothing.

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Egekrusher
I know exactly what I want: nothing.

Then I am afraid that is what you will have...I do hope that you snap out of this, Ege :(

[nv.]

(((egekrusher)))
you don't suck at life ..you just need a little help that's all. I think one time or another we all question ourselves/why we're here. I know this may sound gay...but just look at what you have in life. You have you're music (which is great btw) and your friends. Try relying on your friends more...I'm sure they know you more than you think. Just get out...go do something(not anything stupid). What do you like to do? What makes you happy?:D

[thEsounDofdirT]

dude seriously .. you have a good start on the music thing... if i were you, i'd concentrate on doing an album.. :).. it really worked for me...

[bwind22]

Originally posted by Egekrusher
Yes... wait.. how'd you know I'm losing my sex drive?

Yeah, it sucks.

Oh, and Dirt- great music man.

A better question would be 'How'd I know you smoke pot?' You didn't mention it once in your original post. Here's how I knew...

I could just tell by the way you were writing and what you were saying. It's easy to get depressed when you can't remember what you did an hour ago. That can be frustrating. Smoking pot, while enjoyed in moderation can be a fun laughy 'high', but when people start doing it too much (like all day, every day), it tends to make people look inward, at the core of your being. It causes depression because you know that you could be doing more with your life, but you just aren't because you smoke too much weed. You have become the stereotypical lazy stoner. It's an easy rut to fall into, but it's quite a bit tougher to pull yourself out. It can be done though, the key is to quit smoking the herbs completely for a while. After about a week of crabiness and irritability, you will suddenly find yourself re-energized and more motivated. Instead of sitting around watching tv or playing video games all afternoon, you will find yourself desiring to go outside and do stuff more. I think we can all agree that an absent libido would be depressing for anyone...

Loss of sex drive and loss of motivation go hand in hand with smoking too much weed for too long. (I have no problem with weed, but every once in a while, it's good to quit and clean your system out. Hey, even Snoop Dogg quit for a while.)

You should seriously consider quitting weed before quitting life.

At just the young age of 24, I have already known 5 people in this life that have killed themselves. 1 was over a boyfriend that broke up with her, 1 was over a girlfriend that broke up with him, 1 was because he got caught cheating on his wife, 1 was because of work and IRS problems, and 1 was ruled 'accidental' (I don't know too many people that hang themself on accident though.)

What do these all have in common? If you guessed 'Wasted life', you we're correct! They are all over things and people in this world that are not that important. Sure, it sucks when your girlfriend dumps you... Anyone that's ever been dumped can atest to that, but you don't go lay down in front of a train. That's not going to help anything! The only thing that will do is cause heartache to your friends and family. It won't solve your problem. Who's to say our pain from this world doesn't follow us to the next? How would you like to kill yourself only to find out that now you are stuck with the same pain and emotions as you were when you were alive, but now you are dead and no longer have any chance to feel better about things?

Just remember this Ege...

*Puts on his 'Annie' singing voice*

"The sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow! Bet you bottom dollar that tomorrow-"

Er... nevermind. I don't really know the words to that song. :rolleyes:

Look ahead. Instead of examining where you're at, decide where you want to be and make it happen. If you are into music, then put out a CD. If you like movies, write a screenplay. Do something other than sit around smoking pot and hating yourself. There's a whole world out there for you to enjoy. (Try to stay out of the Middle East though.)

[thEsounDofdirT]

yea... pot is a major depressant ... we studied it in psych.. how it really has much lower results as far as long term effects... but if it's overused it is just a downward spiral..

one reason i don't like to get drunk.. makes me get really depressed... i have a lot of shit that i keep away jus tto get by.. and when i lose my inhibition.. i see that crap

[fluffho]

Originally posted by bwind22
.1 was ruled 'accidental' (I don't know too many people that hang themself on accident though.)

a number of ways.. the more colorful being a s&m erotic type of thing which.... id rather not explain.

anyway, ege. dont give up now. the only time u can expend ur life is when u have expended all other options. otherwise ur just a selfish pussy. why do i say that? i know 2 dudes and thats all i see them as now. cowards

there are things that yuo want. your just thinking too negatively. the world, other people, the environment, money.. those things do NOT fuck us up or make us sad. WE, as in YOU are the one solely in charge of that.

there are not too many things that are, rather, they are perceptions. just like the chinese view the swastika as peace, flip it over and it means white power. all it is is a design but people put their own meanings into it.

same with you, something is bothering you. something bad happened (the gf thing im guessing) and thats all ur focusing on. how about all the little things that made you happy? how abou when yuo were happy befor. im sure it wasnt just 1 thing that was doing it, but severla. u need to find those

[bwind22]

Originally posted by fluffho
a number of ways.. the more colorful being a s&m erotic type of thing which.... id rather not explain.

lol. No need to explain, but that wasn't what happened to him. He was in his room by himself, his whole family was downstairs. His brother went to tell him dinner was ready and found him hanging from a hanging plant hook by a piece of plastic. His feet were kind of on his computer chair, but not enough to be holding any weight. It seemed like a suicide to me, but there wasn't a note. The cops said it was accidental because he had been known to do that thing where you put pressure on the veins/arteries in his neck and it causes a loss of blood to the brain, creating a 'high' (Kinda like a whip-it.) They said they thought he was doing that and just ended up passing out (while still with the plastic on his neck) and ended up accidentaly hanging himself.

Seemed kinda fishy...

[fluffho]

meh, it happens. although i think he woulda been better off sniffing air freshener than that.

anyway. i think one of the main things would be the fact that there was no note. i could be wrong but from that i assume that there really were no signs. that maybe he didnt seem very ddepressed or anything? also the fact that it happened while everyone was at home, right before dinner is odd. most people do it at night, NOT when everyone is home let alone awake.