The Gate and The Old Man.

[massacre man]

Ok, this just happened to me, I thought this was funny, so anyway.

Me and my friends, Cody and Bob, were at this beach in my neighborhood, at the little area where you can back your boats off of the trailer into the water there's a gate that's locked, me and Bob were leaning on it, Cody said "Dudes, stop you're gonna break it." and I tried to freak him out so I yelled "Oh shit!" and started running into these brushes next to us, so did Bob, then some older guy started yelling at us and told us to stay there.

I walked out of the brushes thinking "What does he want?" I looked and the gate was actually hanging off the hinge. I was about to just run on home but Bob and Cody kept saying "oh shit, oh shit, let's do what he says" and I knew they would tell them if I had ran, so I thought "fuck", this man, he's at least 50, and retired from being a cop, I'm assuming he's pissed that he's not a cop anymore, but anyway he told us to sit on our hands, we did so.

He went on about the gate, it only slipped off the hinge, me and Bob were even about to put it back when he said "Don't touch it!" We sat, he tried lecturing us, he said "Now, Cedarhurst's upstanding citizens, this what you guys do for fun, you could be picking your noses or jerking off or something." Yelling as the little kids rode by on bikes, he kept saying we were on "the sauce" and going on about how he used to be the man and how we have to answer to the man and going about his obsession about the man.

After about an hour a cop came, took down our names, numbers and addresses and interrogated us behind his car. Cody was worried he would be kicked out of his now since he got in trouble, I was interrogated last, I said Cody had nothing to do with it so he wouldn't get in trouble. Then Cody had to piss, the guy who lived in the neighborhood took Cody back into the brushes where nobody could see so he could piss. The cop got pissed off at me and said "I know you're lying, Cody told me he was on it" then he sat me back down and then drove us to our homes, I was last.

I got out of the car, my parents walked outside, the cop went on and said it was destruction of property and gave us a court date. My parents didn't care, they were just mad they would have to pay, we got in my dad's truck and went to the gate, it had already been put back up. Somebody did a half-ass job when it was first put on, so it easily slipped off the hinges, it wasn't even broken, it was perfectly fine now. My dad and I walked down the road and found out where the guy lived as Bob and his parents showed up, my dad talked to the guy and said he would just fix it so he wouldn't have to pay for it. Then Bob and I's respective mothers talked to him, Bob and I were next to them, he started making things up like we were shaking the gates, when they asked about him calling us "bastards" he denied it, and when they asked about the "picking your nose and jerking off" thing and he stuttered and said "N... N... No, I said pickin' your nose and bein' jerks" and then he went on about he was just trying to teach us a lesson, so I get to go to court in June because some asshole can't stay in his own goddamn business when me and Bob were putting the gate back and he so rudely interrupted us, told us we should jerk off, and watched our friend pee.

Fucking dandy.

[Disease]

Old people are very precious about gates, my mum's like that, and her gates are so old!