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#1
04-08-2006, 06:25 AM
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If Real Life Was Like MySpace...
If MySpace was real life...
You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly. At night when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me." Bands go to your house and ask you to give them a listen because they see that you like a band they sound nothing like. Anytime you walk into someone's house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight. You would look your very best at all times. Some people would be holding their right arm out straight in front of them at all times. There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds. Bands with 3 song demos could book stadium tours. Most people would walk around with a full size mirror 2 feet in front of them. Your driver's license would have hearts around your name and/or a quote from an emo song next to your picture. EVERYONE would have a diary. Any random thought in your head would be shared with everyone. People would inexplicably be stuck in their homes for hours unable communicate with the outside world because some asshole put up a large white wall in front of every door and window with a note attached saying "Sorry, but an unexpected error has occurred". Tila Tequila would know everyone in the whole world. You would struggle over the time it takes someone you like to add you to their top 8. 19 year old boys wouldn't own shirts and 19 year old girls would not own pants. If you're a fat girl, people would only see you from the shoulders up. People would be able to photoshop out pimples on their face. Girls would always be posing, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered two feet off their face. Your attraction to someone would be based on their favorite clothing label, their favorite band, and a survey. All females are bi and all males drive import muscle cars. The phrases "Yo," "your hawt," or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex. Lesbian women would not allow anyone with a penis within 50 yards of them, not even to deliver a pizza. It would be perfectly acceptable to blurt out any random filthy perverse sexual thought at any random woman/man you thought was "hawt" as a first greeting. It would be no more unusual to see a man walking around displaying his erect, naked penis than it would be to see random women running around in a g-string w/nothing covering their breasts but their hands. Everyone would make $100,000 a year or higher. There would be alot of underage strippers in the world. Everywhere you would walk, an image of Angelina Jolie would be behind you. Forbidden would actually be hot. It wouldn't be odd to have Brad Pitt in your circle of friends. Hello Kitty would be a real person. During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later." When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance." You would have to paint your walls using Thomas Myspace Editor codes in your apartment. Stewie from Family Guy would be your best friend. In your circle of friends you would hang out with Scottsdale bars and clothing lines. When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your fucking ass off. "Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's. "Fuckin MySpace!" is the only universally known term in any language to show anger. People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog.
__________________
...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be 
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#2
04-08-2006, 06:47 AM
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I wouldn't have any friends, and every time I opened my mouth I'd be singing Nina Simone sing "I Put a Spell on You." Oh yeah, and I'd be exceedinly whiny, a la my blogs...all three of them.
__________________
By the time you're twenty-five they will say you've gone and blown it. By the time you're thirty-five I must confide you will have blown them all
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#3
04-08-2006, 08:58 AM
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Quote:
OH...Wait a minute... :eek: :eek: :eek:
__________________
... If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be
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#4
04-08-2006, 12:19 PM
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That's interesting...
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#5
04-08-2006, 12:34 PM
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I'd have six friends but tell everyone I have eight. Everything would be black and green. and someone would always be yelling, "Yeah Toast!!!"
__________________
Life may be hard and you may get scared, But, that is how it is so, be prepared. I want you to know that the world is mean, On the other side of the fence, grass isn't always green. Look to a friend or someone you trust, Holding them close is kind of a must. You'll need to be strong and not too proud, If you are afraid, just get loud. Stand up for what it is you believe, If you fail, dont give up and leave. Be yourself and don't let anyone change you, To yourself always, and I mean always, stay true. Follow your heart where ever it leads, But, remember life goes on when it bleeds. No matter what happens I will always care, Give up on you is something I wouldn't dare. "Everybody needs a little wood" peace and out... ~The Wood
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#6
04-08-2006, 12:39 PM
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hahahahahahaha
myspace sounds kinky.. btw..you all 'hawt'
__________________
my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D
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#7
04-08-2006, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
__________________
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#8
04-08-2006, 07:07 PM
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In your parts, Kemal....In YOUR parts?
If real life was myspace...I'd laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and call everybody a complete loser/attention starved on assumption, then shoot myself through the roof of my mouth.
__________________
The door opened...you got in..:rolleyes:
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