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#1
02-17-2005, 10:11 AM
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your opinions please
i recently wrote this poem that is in the process of being published. I would like ya'lls opinions (good or bad) just be honest please.
DARK NIGHT The wind blowing, howling. Whispers are ever so near. Your heart drops to your stomach, your mind feels with fear. A tap on your window, a door coming unlocked. You try to keep it all out, but it can't be blocked. As you shiver and shake, in your bed you lay. Praying and waiting for the light of day. As you hear a dull moaning, your worst fears come true. The reapers by your bedside, steady pointing at you. When you ask what he's came for, you hear his skin crack as he grins. As the dread feels your heart, you know it's your life he will win. When they find you in the morning, cold where you lay. They know that there time will come, and the reaper will have them one day. 2/17/05
__________________
To live, is to suffer. And to survive, well, that's to find meaning in the suffering. 
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#3
03-02-2005, 09:23 PM
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it was scary.
im scared now of the reaper, your writing has changed my direction of thought. thank you, i needed that poem.:D
__________________
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#4
05-20-2005, 05:34 AM
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'nother bump
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#6
05-23-2005, 10:01 AM
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Awesome!
__________________
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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#8
05-24-2005, 07:40 PM
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You need to change "there" to "their" in the second to last line, publishers won't publish work with typos EVER.
This seems like a story moreso than a poem (in the fact that I don't really know what you're trying to say to the reader). Poems usually have a message, and this poem's really only seems to be "death is scary". You said be honest. :(
__________________
MISINTUPITATED- The act of removing the spine by use of fire. DEVESTED- The removal of one's vest. SCTUPP- To deficate on a woman after nonconsensual sex.
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