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-   -   your opinions please (https://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13819)

babygirl20 02-17-2005 10:11 AM

your opinions please
 
i recently wrote this poem that is in the process of being published. I would like ya'lls opinions (good or bad) just be honest please.

DARK NIGHT

The wind blowing, howling. Whispers are ever so near. Your heart drops to your stomach, your mind feels with fear.

A tap on your window, a door coming unlocked. You try to keep it all out, but it can't be blocked.

As you shiver and shake, in your bed you lay. Praying and waiting for the light of day.

As you hear a dull moaning, your worst fears come true. The reapers by your bedside, steady pointing at you.

When you ask what he's came for, you hear his skin crack as he grins. As the dread feels your heart, you know it's your life he will win.

When they find you in the morning, cold where you lay. They know that there time will come, and the reaper will have them one day.

2/17/05

tom-tom 02-28-2005 04:02 AM

It seems ok but i can't really give a constructive critism as i don't write poetry, only fiction and horror...
good luck with the publishing...

bloody_ribcut 03-02-2005 09:23 PM

it was scary.
 
im scared now of the reaper, your writing has changed my direction of thought. thank you, i needed that poem.:D

Vodstok 05-20-2005 05:34 AM

'nother bump

Lady Mary 05-20-2005 10:24 AM

I love it!! I can see why it's getting puplished!! Great to see someone finally achieving their dream!!!!

The Lady Mary

The_Return 05-23-2005 10:01 AM

Awesome!

Nyder 05-23-2005 11:03 AM

Very beautiful and haunting poem! :D

Question: do you fear death?

ItsAlive75 05-24-2005 07:40 PM

You need to change "there" to "their" in the second to last line, publishers won't publish work with typos EVER.

This seems like a story moreso than a poem (in the fact that I don't really know what you're trying to say to the reader). Poems usually have a message, and this poem's really only seems to be "death is scary".

You said be honest. :(


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