I tried to be polite....

[Vodstok]

But NO ONE ever goes to the horror writers forum...

I cant be the only attention whore in here that is dying to get feedback on what they wrote, so get your asses in there and comment!

See? here's a link:
http://horror.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=30

you dont even have to hit your "back" button. Take your time reading, I can wait....

[Vodstok]

No replies, eh?


*Gives harsh look....*

[stygianwitch]

Originally Posted by Vodstok

No replies, eh?


*Gives harsh look....*

hope you're not glaring at me, i already posted down there ;)

[Vodstok]

Nope, not to you at all :)

I suppose i should have specified that this was for those people who havent been there yet :D

You are one of the good ones :D

[crabapple]

me 2! I read it too

[Haunted]

Very interesting story, Vod. You're right, it could use some work, but not in the sense of changing everything. I think you need to draw it out more. It needs more... meat. A little background on this particular area would be nice. Maybe develope a local legend, and play it in Glenn's head as he walks through. Connect the dots with the clues; I mean, okay, he finds them. I'd rather you give circumstances under which he finds them. That way you can build a lot more suspense and fear, not only in Glenn, but in your audience.

The two things that I think you should consider changing are:

1. The guy who hired Glenn... Maybe Glenn should be the Native American, because there are very few wealthy Native Americans in this country. I know this because part of my heritage is Native American.

2. I wouldn't give Glenn the job of PI. PI's generally don't do that kind of work. Maybe he's a hunter or even a bounty hunter with a noble reputation. Perhaps he's got a degree in biology with a healthy hobby in cryptozoology. Maybe the idea of monsters in the woods has always fascinated him.

Since who or whatever is there seems to know and/or like Glenn, maybe it senses his fascination and takes it as a sign of respect and awe.

[Vodstok]

Originally Posted by Haunted

Very interesting story, Vod. You're right, it could use some work, but not in the sense of changing everything. I think you need to draw it out more. It needs more... meat. A little background on this particular area would be nice. Maybe develope a local legend, and play it in Glenn's head as he walks through. Connect the dots with the clues; I mean, okay, he finds them. I'd rather you give circumstances under which he finds them. That way you can build a lot more suspense and fear, not only in Glenn, but in your audience.

The two things that I think you should consider changing are:

1. The guy who hired Glenn... Maybe Glenn should be the Native American, because there are very few wealthy Native Americans in this country. I know this because part of my heritage is Native American.

2. I wouldn't give Glenn the job of PI. PI's generally don't do that kind of work. Maybe he's a hunter or even a bounty hunter with a noble reputation. Perhaps he's got a degree in biology with a healthy hobby in cryptozoology. Maybe the idea of monsters in the woods has always fascinated him.

Since who or whatever is there seems to know and/or like Glenn, maybe it senses his fascination and takes it as a sign of respect and awe.

Nice.... i think all of those would be huge improvements... I think the research i had done for this story amounted to looking up in an atlas to see if the rockies did go up into canada. I dont think i had an internet connection for about 4 years after i wrote it :)

[tic]

Originally Posted by Vodstok

But NO ONE ever goes to the horror writers forum...

I cant be the only attention whore in here that is dying to get feedback on what they wrote, so get your asses in there and comment!

See? here's a link:
http://horror.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=30

you dont even have to hit your "back" button. Take your time reading, I can wait....

but I do
*sniff, sniff "no body like me" sniff, sniff *

[Vodstok]

Originally Posted by tic

but I do
*sniff, sniff "no body like me" sniff, sniff *

Originally Posted by Vodstok

Nope, not to you at all :)

I suppose i should have specified that this was for those people who havent been there yet :D

You are one of the good ones :D

Damn 10 character rule......

[tic]

:) :) :) :) :)