[monalisa]

Originally Posted by Phalanx

Re: Thread topic.
Depends on the person, depends on the situation.
If it's a person you're close to, or in alternate cases want to be close to, I think the general feeling is that it would be good if they held you in at least fair esteem, and that if they didn't it might be a little dissapointing...
Perhaps if it's someone you look up to, or admire, or perhaps one that you feel you have something of importance to learn from, I think the situation would be more comfortable if you got the vibe that they deemed you worthy of their company/expertise.
Of course, it's not always a two way street there, as I'm sure many of you are aware...I guess the important thing down the line is to figure out whether in each case, that's indicative of simple personality incompatability, or something about yourself that you could/should change, and whether or not this person/relationship would be worth making said changes over, and furthermore if those changes would actually yeild results you consider sufficient. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, in which case, it's probably best not to take it to heart anyways, I think any kind of successful relationship, be it business or personal has to be at least someplace near equal participation/regard...if it's not...then it's not really worth all that much in the first place, and nothing you should dwell on any longer than neccessary...it'll just do your head in, when there's no answer you'll really ever arrive at, and be happy with.

Other than that, who really matters?
I wouldn't be cut up about it if somebody that I wasn't seeking friendship with, or say, didn't feel that I had anything to gain from, seemed like they didn't like me, or thought ill of me...what would be the point?
But I think it's important to mention here that just because certain behaviour, or views deliberately shoved in ones face can evoke a reaction, doesn't mean that a person is taking things personally, or to heart...a common misconception 'round these parts.

I have to admit, that I always do what I call "self checks", in other words, I always think could I have done or said something different or better in whatever case. and I tend to do that wherever I interact with people. Granted, I'm guiltly of caring too much about people and "the world according to Kathy" would be a very caring and fun and safe place to live. But that's not reality. I think everyone can only take care of their own little space in the world and hope others do the same in a positive way (call me PollyAnna). But I also know that I care too much a lot and just need to let it roll off my back like a duck to water more. Does that mean I need to care less, yes. And I find that kind of sad.