Quote:
Originally Posted by urgeok2
(Post 733000)
anyway - i dont know why you'd be 'done' with the conversation .. it's an interesting dialogue. (except a couple of my ex-bosses)
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Because it's a knee-jerk reaction when someone hits me where truth is.
Bitter? not so much on the harsh side, but I have my moments when I see very clearly a chick shaking her ass at my husband because she has grown up in an even MORE youth and beauty oriented miasma than I and thinks she can pull some stupid shit because I am older, so I couldn't possibly compete with her regardless of what he feels for me.
And I do not doubt this man loves me, because I have made it very clear where the door is if he is not happy, you dig?
He knows I am not the type to resort to dragging him down, or making it hard where the children are concerned. He has free reign to do what he wants and he has chosen to be a family.
Miserable? yes, sometimes I am quite miserable because I feel trapped and there is not a GD thing I can do about right now.
And to top it off, I am getting older, I do not get looked at as much now and honey-I
feel it. This is important to me, I am not sure if it's just a Hormone thing or if it was beat into me growing up. Probably a mixture of both.
Shallow? Yes, absolutely, but the truth is I was never approached by male or female because I was smart or a really good person.
And now I am old.
And I have not cultivated my mind or the sense of who I am . My fault, I take full responsiblity for that-but now I am left with not much except to raise some decent children. This is not a lament- just fact.
And before you say it, yes, I have steps in my life right now leading to change what I do not like.
Because I am a big believer in Life Is What You Make It