Bruce Lee vs. Angry Chimp [Archive] - Horror.com Forums

bwind22

07-13-2004, 05:49 PM

I have some friends that I have been arguing over this with for years now...

They say 'An enraged chimpanzee would be able to beat Bruce Lee in a fight.'

I say 'No way. That's utterly retarded!'

Then we argue and discuss our reasons for our beliefs over the next few hours and a case of beers. Anyways, I want to know what everyone on here thinks...

So here it is.... (And if for some reason, you find yourself having a difficult time imagining any reason this battle would ever occur, imagine this hypothetical... Bruce Lee is walking along one day when he enters a room. Upon entering, he spots four baby chimps all playing cutely in the corner. Well, it is a little known fact that Bruce Lee hated baby chimps with a passion so he wastes no time in delivering them his patented one-inch punch. All 4 baby chimps die brutally horrific deaths. The mother chimp, who had been forced to watch all of this from a surveillance camera, is now set free and put into the room with Bruce Lee where they must fight to the death.

There you go. Now no one has any excuse for not participating in this thread.)

Bruce Lee

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=bruce+lee/v=2/l=IVS/*-http://www.defend.net/images/bruce32106.jpg

vs.

An angry Chimpanzee

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=chimp+teeth+/v=2/l=IVS/*-http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/media/corel/chimp.jpg
http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=chimpanzee/v=2/l=IVS/*-http://www.du.edu/~vfernan2/chimpanzee.jpg

newb

07-13-2004, 06:04 PM

I'll take the chimp.
An adult chimpanzee weighs about 160 lbs and has the strength of 6 to 7 men.
I've been sitting on this information for about 8 years, just waiting for the opportunity to use it. Thanks man.

bwind22

07-13-2004, 06:05 PM

That's the same argument my buddies use. :D

But you didn't cast your vote.

newb

07-13-2004, 06:06 PM

Originally posted by bwind22
That's the same argument my buddies use. :D

But you didn't cast your vote.

done

Hate_Breeder

07-13-2004, 06:10 PM

What? Bruce Lee would hella stomp its ass. If it was a gorilla on the other hand.....

bwind22

07-13-2004, 06:13 PM

Lol. And that's my argument. Bruce Lee has been/was trained to fight. A chimp only has instinct. I think Bruce Lee would whoop a chimp's ass so fuckin' quick the chimp would never even know what hit it.

I think Bruce Lee probably could have taken an ape or gorilla too, but that's a tale for another poll.

kpropain

07-13-2004, 06:13 PM

Bruce Lee would pimp slap that fucking chimp like a cheap hooker....

newb

07-13-2004, 06:25 PM

Fuck wit me now Bruce

http://mail.guns.ru/Lists/firearms_r/Message/680-02-B/chimpanzee-glock.jpg

Hate_Breeder

07-13-2004, 06:29 PM

Originally posted by newb
Fuck wit me now Bruce

http://mail.guns.ru/Lists/firearms_r/Message/680-02-B/chimpanzee-glock.jpg

HAHAHA

bwind22

07-13-2004, 08:12 PM

Lol! That's a funny pic! Too bad Bruce Lee would still whoop his ass due to the fact that a monkey wouldn't be able to grasp the concept of firing a weapon! Still a funny pic tho!

mothermold

07-13-2004, 08:59 PM

i like bruce an all,but c'mon!the chimp's gonna win..like at those damn canines and they got thick skulls too!bruce better be wearing steel toes if he's gonna stomp a mud hole in that monkey's ass.:)

ShankS

07-14-2004, 12:30 AM

Not being funny, but the Chimpanzee, would probably and literally rip Bruce Lee to shreds....even though I'd want Bruce to win

Has anyone seen these animals in the wild, they are not an animal to be reckoned with when angry or on the defence, unless you've got a shark cage to hide in.

These animals are fiercely territorial, and anything that appears to be a threat on their territory or group... will end up dead. Chimpanzees have been known and it's on recorded, for their cannibalistic tendencies towards outsiders and within their own tight nit group.

A chimpanzee will not letup in a fight to defend it's territory. Fights between alpha males during mating season can last for many hours, if not days, and the loosing male is either killed or cast out of the group and left to die with bad wounds.

They will stalk and attack their target continuously until the enemy has fled or is dead. Their pain threshold is extremely high during these confrontations.

Along with extremely strong arms, weight and agility, they have very sharp teeth within a strong jaw

bwind22

07-14-2004, 12:39 AM

Originally posted by ShankS
Not being funny, but the Chimpanzee, would probably and literally rip Bruce Lee to shreds....even though I'd want Bruce to win

Has anyone seen these animals in the wild, they are not an animal to be reckoned with when angry or on the defence, unless you've got a shark cage to hide in.

These animals are fiercely territorial, and anything that appears to be a threat on their territory or group... will end up dead. Chimpanzees have been known and it's on recorded, for their cannibalistic tendencies towards outsiders and within their own tight nit group.

A chimpanzee will not letup in a fight to defend it's territory. Fights between alpha males during mating season can last for many hours, if not days, and the loosing male is either killed or cast out of the group and left to die with bad wounds.

They will stalk and attack their target continuously until the enemy has fled or is dead. Their pain threshold is extremely high during these confrontations.

Along with extremely strong arms, weight and agility, they have very sharp teeth within a strong jaw

All true but what about the fact that even a big chimp is still going to be smaller than Bruce Lee.

With Bruce Lee's fighting expertise, I would think he would be able to immobilize/paralyze/kill the chimp before the chimp ever even got a chance to execute one offensive move.

Bruce Lee would punch that fuckin' monkey so hard it wouldn't know what hit it and then, he'd snap it's neck before it even realized it was in a fight for it's life.

Good participation on this thread! I think it's funny how drastically people's opinions can vary on something as trivial as this! :D Keep it up! I want to hear form everyone on this!

ShankS

07-14-2004, 12:59 AM

Originally posted by bwind22
All true but what about the fact that even a big chimp is still going to be smaller than Bruce Lee.

With Bruce Lee's fighting expertise, I would think he would be able to immobilize/paralyze/kill the chimp before the chimp ever even got a chance to execute one offensive move.

Bruce Lee would punch that fuckin' monkey so hard it wouldn't know what hit it and then, he'd snap it's neck before it even realized it was in a fight for it's life.

Good participation on this thread! I think it's funny how drastically people's opinions can vary on something as trivial as this! :D Keep it up! I want to hear form everyone on this!

A chimp may be smaller in height when crouching, not forgetting Bruce was not gifted himself in the height department, however a large chimp can weigh anywhere around 175 to 200 pounds / 90kg / 12.5 - 13 stone. Their definition is very muscular and they have a thick bone structure. They can move with great speed, faster than most humans.

Its obvious that man and chimp will have very different combat styles, a chimp during a fight, will keep it's distance to defend itself, using objects around it self for defence. These animals are very intelligent, it will inflict big damage if its enemy is up-close. If it does manage to get hold of one of Bruce’s limbs, he will most probably be immobilised or worse, the limb will be snapped or ripped from his body.

It will be a difficult fight for Bruce. Unless he new how a chimp works, he's gona be feeling some pain in this fight.

Egekrusher

07-14-2004, 06:28 AM

Gonna have to go with good old Bruce on this one.

A chimpanzee may be faster than the average human, yes. However, when it comes to maneuvering in close quarters and speed, Bruce is the best there is, hands down. Speed wouldn't be a factor here for him.

Strength, on the other hand, may be a problem. Chimps are much stronger than humans. Strength, however, doesn't make up for the fact that when it comes to fighting, Bruce had been trained his entire life to fight.

In the end, it would come down to wits, and it would be a good fight, but Bruce would win.

Vodstok

07-14-2004, 06:37 AM

Bruce was a severely above average human, is intelligence, strength, agility and skill. A single rush from the chimp would probably result in a roundhouse to the head. Striong or not, the chimps neck could be broken very easily by bruce.

Bruce Lee > Chimpanzee

Hey, that rhymes... :)

bwind22

07-22-2004, 01:24 AM

Well judging by the votes, Bruce Lee is a 2.5 to 1 favorite to win over the angry chimp. Anyone else want to weigh in on this age old debate?

fluffho

07-22-2004, 04:52 PM

its not how big you are. its what u know

bruce all the way

bwind22

07-23-2004, 08:28 AM

Okay, since it's been determined that Bruce Lee would be able to whip the shit out of an angry chimp, let's move him up to angry gorilla and see how he does....

BRUCE LEE vs. AN ANGRY GORILLA

Who do you think would win in a fight to the death?

Egekrusher

07-23-2004, 08:29 AM

That ones a bit harder.

I'm gonna have to go with gorilla out of sheer strength though.

newb

07-23-2004, 08:30 AM

I thought the chimp would win so naturally I think the gorilla will STOMP his ass.

bwind22

07-23-2004, 08:32 AM

I'm gonna stick with Bruce Lee due to the fact that he knows how to fight whereas a gorilla is only going off instinct. If Bruce was able to anticipate what the gorillas next instinct would be, I think Bruce would be able to stay one step ahead. But you're right, this one is tougher.

I'll go with Bruce though. He's a bad motherfucker.

Vodstok

07-23-2004, 10:11 AM

I'd think bruce would have been smart enough to shotgun the banana eating mofo.

jay o2 waster

07-23-2004, 10:33 AM

I would officialy like to vote for the melting fetus!!!!!!!!!1

fluffho

07-23-2004, 02:06 PM

Originally posted by fluffho
its not how big you are. its what u know

bruce all the way

bwind22

04-15-2005, 09:32 PM

This is an ongoing debate between my friends and I and every time we talk about it, I feel obligated to bring this thread back up here and see if there are any new opinions on it.

So who would win a fight to the death?

Bruce Lee?
http://bruce-lee.gungfu.com/mainpic1.jpg

or an angry chimp?
http://cache.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/Images2005/monkey.logo.012505.jpg

bloodrayne

04-15-2005, 09:35 PM

Aww...This thread makes me miss Ege....What the hell happened to him, anyway?

Sedated_replica

04-15-2005, 10:20 PM

Bruce Lee is a actor! His fighting style was never proven too work. People say that he was SO great, they make him out too be this unbeatable legend.

Any MMA figher would have beat his ass.

Angry Chimp by flying poop fist

ShankS

04-15-2005, 11:25 PM

was thinking about this thread the other day.... after watching a couple of Bruce Films recently.

dantehorrorfan

04-16-2005, 10:27 AM

Originally posted by kpropain
Bruce Lee would pimp slap that fucking chimp like a cheap hooker.... LMFAO!!!!! i agree with kpropain bruce lee would smoke that little basterd

BlackWolf

04-16-2005, 01:36 PM

I got to go with Bruce Lee, I mean he's already dead how could a Chimp(or gorilla) kill him again?

Sedated_replica

04-16-2005, 02:36 PM

Originally posted by BlackWolf
I got to go with Bruce Lee, I mean he's already dead how could a Chimp(or gorilla) kill him again?

Maybe thats how he really died and no one wanted too say. a angry chimp ate his brain

newb

04-16-2005, 05:30 PM

HOLY OLD THREAD BATMAN

I'm gonno go with my original pick...the angry chimp.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v259/rockinmule/monkey.jpg

ItsAlive75

04-16-2005, 05:33 PM

that chimp seems more horrified than anything.

Chainsaw Guy

04-16-2005, 05:57 PM

Originally posted by newb
I'll take the chimp.
An adult chimpanzee weighs about 160 lbs and has the strength of 6 to 7 men.
I've been sitting on this information for about 8 years, just waiting for the opportunity to use it. Thanks man.

but bruce lee has the strength of 20 men

DraculaInDallas

04-17-2005, 10:35 PM

The chimp would kick Lee's ass......no doubt about it :cool:

ShankS

04-17-2005, 11:33 PM

I still say chimpy. :D

bwind22

04-18-2005, 12:08 AM

Bruce Lee would kick a chimp's ass. I can never understand how people think some little mokey could beat one of the fastest/baddest humans ever. (It's not just you guys either. I have this debate with my friends too over periods of long drinking benders.)

ShankS

04-18-2005, 12:10 AM

Originally posted by bwind22
Bruce Lee would kick a chimp's ass. I can never understand how people think some little mokey could beat one of the fastest/baddest humans ever. (It's not just you guys either. I have this debate with my friends too over periods of long drinking benders.)

no you are wrong, chimpy would wack Bruce with his geeetarh!!! then strangle him with the strap.

:D

BlackWolf

04-18-2005, 06:06 PM

Originally posted by Sedated_replica
Maybe thats how he really died and no one wanted too say. a angry chimp ate his brain
If thats the case then I think it time Bruce got his revenge, and kicks that ape's poo-flinging ass:cool:

bwind22

08-04-2005, 07:58 PM

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=bruce+lee/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=12pl53kl9/EXP=1123300642/*-http%3A//abc.net.au/news/indepth/featureitems/img/20011119bruce_lee.jpg > http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=angry+chimp/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=12ffnu0g9/EXP=1123300446/*-http%3A//www.davidsdoodles.com/images/Angry_chimp-website.jpg

filmmaker2

08-04-2005, 08:03 PM

Oh, the angry shrimp, definitely. Wait, CHIMP? I thought you said SHRIMP. Two totally different things

newb

08-04-2005, 08:34 PM

Well....this changes things a bit...if we are talking "Angry Shrimp"......then all bets are off....i pick the crustacean any day.

http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/sirrobhitch.suffolk/key/images/invertebrates/shrimp.jpg

bloodrayne

08-04-2005, 08:48 PM

Okay...Bruce is great, I'll give ya that...and I don't believe that any HUMAN could ever take him out...BUT...A chimp is a wild animal...and ANGRY on top of that?...You ever seen an angry wild animal in action?...Even a SCARED wild animal could rip someone to shreds...

You think that Bruce could take out a lion?...A panther?...A bear?...A wild boar?.....And chimps have the agility and speed that those other animals do not possess...as well as the sharp teeth that they DO have (and they aren't exactly physically weak either)...Bruce doesn't have those teeth...

Why do you think that martial artrists are taught to fight in the style of ANIMALS?...

A wild animal will fight to the death...No matter what injuries they may suffer during battle...

Elvis_Christ

08-04-2005, 10:10 PM

I always remember seeing the covers for kung-fu movies where dudes would fight bears and shit. Maybe those films hold the answer :p

Zero

08-05-2005, 09:20 AM

of course, since bruce lee is dead I think the chimp whoops the shit out of his rotting corpse (probaby just bones and dust by now) - now, if it was the corpse of a dead angry chimp vs. the corpse of the dead bruce lee - well that's a whole different story. . .

Haunted

08-05-2005, 09:29 AM

*Pulls out hippie guitar*

Angry chimp, O' angry chimp
Bustin through jungle
Helen Hunt can't calm you down
That Bruce Lee joker is just a clown
Angry chimp's gonna bare his fangs
Angry chimp's gonna jump up and down
Angry chimp's gonna rip Bruce Lee
A new one
If he needed one
But he doesn't anymore 'cause he's dead
Flower flower flower flower flower flower
Pot p-p-pot
Smoke a toke of the pot
The pot p-p-pot

Go Angry Chimp!!!

AUSTIN316426808

08-05-2005, 09:33 AM

I'll take Bruce Lee.

Zero

08-05-2005, 10:11 AM

Originally posted by Haunted
*Pulls out hippie guitar*

Angry chimp, O' angry chimp
Bustin through jungle
Helen Hunt can't calm you down
That Bruce Lee joker is just a clown
Angry chimp's gonna bare his fangs
Angry chimp's gonna jump up and down
Angry chimp's gonna rip Bruce Lee
A new one
If he needed one
But he doesn't anymore 'cause he's dead
Flower flower flower flower flower flower
Pot p-p-pot
Smoke a toke of the pot
The pot p-p-pot

Go Angry Chimp!!!

I'm going to be laughing about that all day - I think you should record it - I see Platinum!!!:D

bwind22

08-05-2005, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Okay...Bruce is great, I'll give ya that...and I don't believe that any HUMAN could ever take him out...BUT...A chimp is a wild animal...and ANGRY on top of that?...You ever seen an angry wild animal in action?...Even a SCARED wild animal could rip someone to shreds...

You think that Bruce could take out a lion?...A panther?...A bear?...A wild boar?.....And chimps have the agility and speed that those other animals do not possess...as well as the sharp teeth that they DO have (and they aren't exactly physically weak either)...Bruce doesn't have those teeth...

Why do you think that martial artrists are taught to fight in the style of ANIMALS?...

A wild animal will fight to the death...No matter what injuries they may suffer during battle...

A boar? Bruce Lee could take an angry pig.
A panther, lion, or tiger... That'd be a pretty good match...
A bear could maybe take him unless Bruce plucked out his eyes or something.

AUSTIN316426808

08-05-2005, 10:42 AM

I get the whole powerful,agile animals with long sharp teeth argument but you've gotta remember gladiators did it in Rome.

I know they had swords but anything someone with little skill and a sword can do I'm sure Bruce Lee could do.

AUSTIN316426808

08-05-2005, 10:55 AM

Frank Dux could've beat him

bwind22

09-27-2005, 12:45 AM

Frank Dux eh?

I'll have to go search online to see who that is...

bwind22

09-27-2005, 12:50 AM

Okay, I figured it out. Are you talking about the real Frank Dux or JC Van Damme playing Frank Dux?

And who could he take? Bruce Lee or the chimp?

zwoti

09-27-2005, 12:51 AM

Originally posted by bwind22
Frank Dux eh?

I'll have to go search online to see who that is...

the character that JCVD played in bloodsport (real life martal arts champion and not some ballet dancer)

bwind22

08-10-2006, 01:36 AM

I just felt like bumping this because, quite frankly, it is the best thread ever.

AUSTIN316426808

08-10-2006, 01:40 AM

Like I said Dux would kick a chimp's ass.

bwind22

08-10-2006, 01:46 AM

Yeah, I agree. Any trained fighter should be able to take out a monkey. It's hard to believe how many of my buddies will argue this until they die though.

roshiq

08-10-2006, 02:52 AM

...sorry 2 say>> no doubt...Chimp'll gonna blow up Mr. Bruce's brain!!:p

so I like 2 bet on Angry Chimp! :cool:

bwind22

08-10-2006, 02:56 AM

Originally posted by roshiq
...sorry 2 say>> no doubt...Chimp'll gonna blow up Mr. Bruce's brain!!:p

How can you make a statement like that without offering some support?

How is a chimp gonna blow up Bruces brain?

Angra

08-10-2006, 02:58 AM

Originally posted by bwind22
How can you make a statement like that without offering some support?

How is a chimp gonna blow up Bruces brain?

Because it´s a terrorist chimp.

Zero

08-10-2006, 08:01 AM

Originally posted by bwind22

How is a chimp gonna blow up Bruces brain?

i wouldnt' blow Bruce's brain - - - I'd blow his mind!!

bwind22

08-10-2006, 10:33 PM

What blows my mind is the fact that the chimp has 9 votes.

kpropain

11-22-2006, 05:18 AM

Here ya go Bwind:D

bwind22

11-22-2006, 05:37 AM

Awesome! Thanks!

Okay, so there' snew people here that probably haven't voted yet... Cast 'em bitches! Help settle one of the world's greatest debates...

Who would win a fight to the death?

Bruce Lee in his prime

vs.

The most ferocious and pissed off chimp there is

The Flayed One

11-22-2006, 05:43 AM

I'm going to go with the angry chimp.

Here's an interesting read from The Straight Dope. It's not about chimp vs. Bruce Lee, exactly, but I think it gives some good info.

Dear Cecil:

The other day I told some friends a story about how when I was 14 and living near Washington, D.C., I saw this 90-pound monkey at a carnival who could literally pick a grown man up and toss him out of a boxing ring. A crowd of people listened to a man (probably the trainer) dare anyone to stay three minutes in the ring with what appeared to be a large chimp. There was a fee to try your luck and a $100 reward if you stayed in the three minutes. Well, I'll tell you, I saw these big guys get in there with this monkey and get tossed right out. It seems the trainer had this whistle and whenever he felt inclined he would blow it, which was the signal for the chimp to do his thing. It was a delightful experience (to watch, at least). Anyway, I don't think my friends believed me. So you have to back me up, Cece: isn't it true that a 90-pound chimpanzee can throw a full-grown man through the air? --Tom M., Chicago

P.S.: Their great strength notwithstanding, is it possible to keep chimps as pets?

Dear Tom:

Chimpanzees look mighty cute trucking around on their roller skates, wearing funny hats, and going "ook, ook," but when roused they are vicious little bastards and not to be trifled with. Blessed with a muscle structure considerably superior to that of Homo sapiens (if not nearly as fetching in a bathing suit), chimpanzees can handle almost anything that comes along. Three drunks at a carnival would be no sweat.

It's a lot easier to get a chimp in roller skates than it is to get him to pump iron--hence, most of the data on chimp strength is anecdotal and decidedly unscientific. In tests at the Bronx Zoo in 1924, a dynamometer--a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring--was erected in the monkey house. A 165-pound male chimpanzee named "Boma" registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.) In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it.

As you might deduce, therefore, the word on keeping chimps as pets is a big negatory. Chimpanzees can never be fully domesticated; they're aggressive by nature and sooner or later they'll start to threaten their keepers in subtle ape ways that the untrained eye won't recognize, until one day--blammo.

But maybe you're thinking, I'll just keep the little beast until it starts to act tough, and then toss it back into the jungle. Wrong. A chimpanzee brought up in captivity won't be accepted by its brothers in the wild. Shunned, the citified chimp will either starve to death or be set upon by a simian hit squad. No matter how you look at it, keeping a chimp as a pet is dangerous and inhumane.

--CECIL ADAMS

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html

Disease

11-22-2006, 06:04 AM

So now you've got the thread back bwind, what are you going to do with it?

bwind22

11-22-2006, 06:57 AM

I'm gonna marvel in it's glory and hope that more people weigh in on this age old debate.

newb

11-22-2006, 08:06 AM

I wonder what ever happened to Fluff ho.

I still say the angry chimp.

Roderick Usher

11-22-2006, 08:21 AM

As much as I love, respect and fear Bruce Lee, The Chimp would quite literally rip him to pieces.

ShankS

11-22-2006, 09:27 AM

Chimp still gets my vote. :D

Burning in Hell

11-22-2006, 09:55 AM

Ahah, so this is the infamous Bruce Lee vs Chimp thread!

I'm going with the chimp all the way on this. Thing is, not only chimps are stronger and faster, but they are also a hell of a lot more resilient than humans. Bruce Lee's roundkick would probably hurt the chimp less than one of his mother's slaps when he was a kid!

stubbornforgey

11-22-2006, 10:02 AM

a good match..
but the chimp allllllllllll the way

'i was wondering where this was ..LOL

kpropain

11-22-2006, 10:13 AM

I wonder what ever happened to Fluff ho.

I talk to her occasionally on myspace...

stubbornforgey

11-22-2006, 10:16 AM

kpropain

11-22-2006, 10:20 AM

so true..
plus all bruce lee had as his sparring partner was chuck norris ..
the chimp has zero :D

winner all the way for the chimp !

Actually Bruce used to train with Dan Inosanto alot, one of the most accomplished martial artist ever...

PR3SSUR3

11-22-2006, 10:26 AM

I'd say the chimp would kick Bruce's crumbly skeleton all over Lake View Cemetery and probably wouldn't even take a single hit back.

stubbornforgey

11-22-2006, 10:29 AM

Actually Bruce used to train with Dan Inosanto alot, one of the most accomplished martial artist ever...

ahhh so wise grasshopper

still ..zero's protege' all the way :o

Zero

11-25-2006, 07:20 AM

ahhh so wise grasshopper

still ..zero's protege' all the way :o

"oh grasshopper-san, when you can snatch the stinking dung from my monkey's paw, then you will be a warrior"

the_real_linda

11-25-2006, 07:30 AM

id go with bruce lee but id think if jet li got involved he's kick both their ass's

Spec7ral

11-25-2006, 05:40 PM

id go with bruce lee but id think if jet li got involved he's kick both their ass's

bruce lee would shitkick jet li with a hand tied behind his back.

stubbornforgey

11-25-2006, 11:00 PM

bruce lee would shitkick jet li with a hand tied behind his back.
be pretty hard considering ..BRUCE LEE IS DEAD :o

Spec7ral

11-26-2006, 10:18 AM

be pretty hard considering ..BRUCE LEE IS DEAD :o

everyone who's anyone knows that bruce lee and tupac run a crepe cafe in the bahamas

Zero

11-26-2006, 10:24 AM

i ate there once - the crepes are fabulous and light - the latte, however, left something to be desired

the_real_linda

11-26-2006, 12:10 PM

bruce lee would shitkick jet li with a hand tied behind his back.

you just know he wouldnt......he's overated big ass stylee

bwind22

11-26-2006, 10:22 PM

It never ceases to amaze me how many people think a wild animal could defeat a human trained to fight. Bruce Lee would kick the angry chimp's ass. I don't even think the chimp would get a single move of offense in before Bruce fucked it up.

Elvis_Christ

11-27-2006, 01:44 AM

This thread should be punched in the face.

Spec7ral

11-27-2006, 02:03 AM

This thread should be punched in the face.

a regular punch or a one inch punch?

Elvis_Christ

11-27-2006, 02:05 AM

Steven Seagal pimp meets windshield Out For Justice styles.

Spec7ral

11-27-2006, 02:20 AM

:eek: EGAD!!!

stubbornforgey

11-27-2006, 02:44 AM

this thread actually got 9 fucken pages !!LOL

the_real_linda

11-27-2006, 03:22 AM

10 now.........mwah ha ha ha

bwind22

11-27-2006, 04:23 AM

This thread should be punched in the face.

I can sense your jealousy. It's okay. Not everyone can create threads as unbelievably awesome as I can.

bwind22

02-13-2007, 12:31 AM

http://www.primatestore.com/karatechimp.jpg

http://www.blogdecine.com/archivos/Bruce-Lee-001.jpg

AUSTIN316426808

02-13-2007, 01:49 AM

Oh for God sakes let it go man.

bwind22

02-13-2007, 03:07 AM

Oh for God sakes let it go man.

Let it go? LET IT GO?

The poll is tied 17-17 so clearly the debate rages on!

:D

DP McCoy

02-13-2007, 03:30 AM

Let it go? LET IT GO?

The poll is tied 17-17 so clearly the debate rages on!

:D

18-17 in favour of Bruce now!

can't get enough gore

02-13-2007, 08:20 AM

I can sense your jealousy. It's okay. Not everyone can create threads as unbelievably awesome as I can.

lol.....*bruce lee roundhouse kicks chimpanzee in the face*

snap!!!!!

chimpanzee is dead

The Mothman

02-13-2007, 08:22 AM

Bruce Lee is already 6 feet under..so its a given who's gonna win.

can't get enough gore

02-13-2007, 08:26 AM

Bruce Lee is already 6 feet under..so its a given who's gonna win.

ya i guess you are right

jackie chan vs. ape???

who would win????

bwind22

10-06-2007, 04:54 PM

Is Bruce Lee the decisive winner now? It's been 19-18 for 6 months now.

Freak

10-06-2007, 04:57 PM

It appears Bruce is winning by 2 votes.

the_real_linda

10-07-2007, 07:44 AM

Bruce Lee!!!!!!!!!!!!

knife_fight

10-07-2007, 08:11 AM

all humor aside, Bruce Lee could destroy anyone.

the_real_linda

10-07-2007, 08:13 AM

all humor aside, Bruce Lee could destroy anyone.

exactly... :D

_____V_____

10-07-2007, 08:14 AM

all humor aside, Bruce Lee could destroy anyone.

Wonder what the 21 voters who chose The Angry Chimp have to say about that...

GorePhobia

10-07-2007, 09:53 AM

Well it's now all tied up 23-23 I guess the first to 25 votes should win!

ferretchucker

10-07-2007, 01:11 PM

I took the chimp.

the_real_linda

10-07-2007, 02:10 PM

bruce leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

Disease

10-07-2007, 02:36 PM

I voted so long ago, I think I took the chimp?

ferretchucker

10-08-2007, 06:48 AM

I just think that a chimp would win because it goes insane. Bruce lee has moves but would they be enough for the blind fury of a chimp?

bwind22

10-08-2007, 09:41 AM

I just think that a chimp would win because it goes insane. Bruce lee has moves but would they be enough for the blind fury of a chimp?

I do not think the chimp would land a single move on offense before Bruce Lee had it knocked unconscious or dead.

jenna26

10-08-2007, 10:06 AM

ferretchucker

10-08-2007, 10:08 AM

if the chimp was enraged enough, it could definetely win.

missmacabre

10-08-2007, 10:21 AM

Bruce Lee> everything

end of story.

bwind22

10-11-2007, 10:14 AM

I think this might be my most favorite thread ever now (it gives me a great new topic for drunken discussion), so kudos Bwind. Can't believe I haven't been in here yet.

My vote goes to Bruce Lee.

;)

I'm glad you like it. It is a great drunken debate, which was originally how it came up between my friends and I.

Disease

10-11-2007, 10:17 AM

You know, the chimp is making a comeback, this could get ugly...

Dante'sInferno

10-11-2007, 10:25 AM

Bruce Lee> everything

end of story.

Werd ^

GorePhobia

10-11-2007, 11:13 AM

Bruce Lee wins!

ferretchucker

10-11-2007, 01:21 PM

I wonder what Zero thinks on the matter.

bwind22

10-11-2007, 08:42 PM

Bruce Lee would kick Zero's ass.

bwind22

06-07-2008, 09:00 PM

Any of you new fuckers wanna weigh in on the greatest debate of all time?

Zero

06-08-2008, 01:42 AM

bah - i still say i that at this moment i could kick bruce lee's ass - of course i'd need to dig him up first (although decomposition might make it hard to figure out which part i his ass)

hiya bwnd - what's up?

bwind22

06-08-2008, 09:28 AM

Same shit, different day. Hows it going Zero? Whats new around here?

Zero

06-08-2008, 11:25 AM

not too much. i've mainlybeen focused on V's awesome battle royale game. it has been amazing good fun.

bwind22

06-08-2008, 10:33 PM

Soooooo.....

What's V's Battle Royale game all about?

Ferox13

06-09-2008, 04:38 AM

We need more monkey talk on here...

And btw any one is insane to think that Bruce Lee would survive more than a few seconds very a Gorilla.

A male adult chimp would definally fuck him up too.

How about Fedor vs a Chimp - i think that would be better match...

ShankS

06-09-2008, 04:42 AM

Flipping Lee and this chimp, they still fighting after all these years! :)

Zero

06-09-2008, 05:17 AM

Flipping Lee and this chimp, they still fighting after all these years! :)

heya shanks! how's it going??

newb

06-09-2008, 04:43 PM

Soooo..... Anyone care to paraphrase how V's Battle Royale game works?

got some time---->http://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33412

414 pages
4,132 replies

not quite paraphrased;)

actually if you skim the first couple of pages....you'll get the drift

Psycom5k

06-09-2008, 05:41 PM

Zero, Newb, V, Psycom, Disease, Shanks, Elvis - Glad to see you're all still hanging around.

At least somebody is glad i'm here. :D

Soooo..... Anyone care to paraphrase how V's Battle Royale game works?

I'll break it down real quick for you a little later, I got something to do right now and I gotta go.

X¤MurderDoll¤X

06-09-2008, 11:29 PM

so how's life, bwind?

bwind22

06-09-2008, 11:38 PM

so how's life, bwind?

Well, overall good. Wife & dog are well, job's fine, yadda yadda yadda. Not much new. I did just get back from Vegas a couple weeks ago though. That was fun. Lots of poker, sports betting and beer.

In world news... I've been pulling for Obama for ages so that's all good, but gas prices just jumped .23 a gallon in my neighborhood today so that's not.

Psycom5k

06-10-2008, 12:15 AM

Ok bwind heres how the BR was played, We first signed up, then we were assigned to teams, we were set team challenges, then winners of the challenges got to go into the "hunting zone" with the losers. The winners had guns that were assigned by V and they got to shoot whoever they wanted to out of the losers. Now we all started off with 4 healthpoints each , the challenges were a bunch of questions, and you were given a certain ammount of points per question, for every 5 points you get you get a healthpack.

We started with alot of people, and 3 teams, then switched the teams to other teams, then to smaller teams so there were more teams, then we were put into one final set of teams, until we broke up into singles, then it was the top 5 challengers to win got to hunt the losers, and it kept going down until there were only 5 people left, and then came the 5 judges, who gave us each a special question, and they got to shoot you if they didn't like your answer. if they liked your answer they gave you guns, and you got to shoot whoever. those who got the guns had the advantage. Those who didn't got killed, and now its down to the two last.
THats pretty much it. I know its kind of jumbled but its 4 am and I don't really care. Oh yeah by the way, surprisingly I made it to 4th place over most of the ones that were expected to win the most(Rayne, Urge, ext.) Don't ask me how, because I don't know how i did it.

bwind22

06-10-2008, 01:28 AM

Psycom5k

06-10-2008, 10:49 AM

Not a problem. Like I said sorry for it being all jumbled like that. It was like 4 in the morning and I was half asleep.

bwind22

07-05-2009, 04:05 PM

Here we are 5 years after the question was initially posed to the forum and the vote is STILL too close to call. This is surely the greatest debate this forum has ever witnessed.

The Mothman

07-05-2009, 04:08 PM

I barely remember this thread, but apparently I already voted in it.

Zero

07-05-2009, 04:11 PM

everyone knows that bruce lee would have no chance

newb

02-24-2010, 08:02 AM

Bump

THE CHIMP IS WINNING BY 2

.................................................. ..........

Ferox13

02-24-2010, 08:39 AM

Its back...

I realsie bwind22 is just trolling here..

I've been posting on an MMA board for since '97 and this comes up every now and then..

For off - as cool as Bruce Lee is (i'm a big fan) - hes about 125lbs soaking wet. Also despite what ppl think he wasn't a fighter and never competed. He definally had street fights and the controversial scrap with Wong Jack Man but he didn't fight like say Mohammed Ali or Royce Gracie...

Now a male chimp can range any where up to 200lbs - they can lift 7 times more than a human. When a chimp attacks it bites - goes for soft area gentals and face with horrific results..

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00521/man-with-no-nose_68_521494a.jpg

http://www.starsareblind.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Charla-Nash-After-Attack.jpg

On the forum I mentioned the conclusion was that Bruce Lee would last seconds with a chimp....

There was a question of either Brock Lesnar or Fedor Emelianenko vs a mussled chimp and still most ppl when for the primate...

scouse mac

02-25-2010, 12:25 PM

Cant believe I missed this thread until now.......

Angry chimp filled with primal rage would cruise it

Doc Faustus

02-25-2010, 12:29 PM

Does Bruce Lee have a gun?

Zero

02-25-2010, 04:00 PM

bah - the monkey always comes strapped

bloody_ribcut

02-25-2010, 04:16 PM

Bruce Lee easily.

Ferox13

02-25-2010, 11:44 PM

Bruce Lee easily.

Give reasons..

Serious thread needs serious explanations...

:)

Elvis_Christ

02-25-2010, 11:47 PM

I remember the cover of some martial arts movie where some dude was fighting a beer.

Let's face it if any human fights an animal the animal is doing to be drugged to fuck.

Ferox13

02-26-2010, 12:54 AM

I remember the cover of some martial arts movie where some dude was fighting a beer.

Let's face it if any human fights an animal the animal is doing to be drugged to fuck.

That was Willie WIlliams - that guy is as cool as fuck*...

That was back in the 70's when martial arts were cool aand having a black belt meant something..

*well hassling that bear wasn't that cool but other than that he was a hip cat..

bwind22

02-26-2010, 07:31 AM

Bruce Lee does not have a gun and the chimp is not drugged.

I think Bruce Lee would win this fight in seconds. He was too fast and is a trained fighter. I really don't even think the chimp would get 1 offensive move off. Lee would drop it with his first strike or possibly a 2 hit combo, but I don't see it lasting long at all.

P.S. I most certainly was not trolling when I posted this thread. It's a very serious debate that has raged between my friends for years.

Ferox13

02-26-2010, 07:57 AM

I think Bruce Lee would win this fight in seconds. He was too fast and is a trained fighter.

Bruce Lee never fought competitively - hes not what i'd call a trainined fighter. He is definally a martial artist and an actor but not a fighter.

The only chance that Bruce Lee would have is to the KO the chimp with his first strike (since he would have the longer weapon ie the kick). I really can't see this happening - and if it didn't the chimp would be on him (in grappling range).

The chimp would be too stong to dislodge at this stage and too close to strike effectively mean while the chimp would be chewing on Bruce's face and genitals.

Also Bruces training was geared torwards human physiology - he would not be used to striking a chimp - also because it being lower/smaller than a human it would be harder to punch..They also weight between 130-200 lbs and have five times the strength of humans..

Their bones are a lot denser and their skulls much thicker too..

Zero

02-26-2010, 08:05 AM

I remember the cover of some martial arts movie where some dude was fighting a beer.
.

i fought a beer last night and it definitely won - of course it brought along a six pack of friends

_____V_____

02-26-2010, 08:06 AM

i fought a beer last night and it definitely won - of course it brought along a six pack of friends

Someone go get my shotgun. We are gonna have redhead monkey stew for dinner later.

bwind22

02-26-2010, 09:36 AM

Bruce Lee never fought competitively - hes not what i'd call a trainined fighter. He is definally a martial artist and an actor but not a fighter.

The only chance that Bruce Lee would have is to the KO the chimp with his first strike (since he would have the longer weapon ie the kick). I really can't see this happening - and if it didn't the chimp would be on him (in grappling range).

The chimp would be too stong to dislodge at this stage and too close to strike effectively mean while the chimp would be chewing on Bruce's face and genitals.

Also Bruces training was geared torwards human physiology - he would not be used to striking a chimp - also because it being lower/smaller than a human it would be harder to punch..They also weight between 130-200 lbs and have five times the strength of humans..

Their bones are a lot denser and their skulls much thicker too..

I realize chimps are stronger and have denser bones, that's why it'd have to be in the first hit or two that Bruce Lee would need to win. If the chimp got a hold of him, the chimp would win. So the question is really whether or not the chimp would get ahold of him.

P.S. I think you are being a little too literal. This is more of a hypothetical question and Bruce Lee could really be replaced with any bad ass human... Brock Lesnar, Steven Seagal... Whoever... It's really a question of whether the toughest human could defeat an enraged chimp in a fight. Bruce Lee is just a representative for the tough human.