Drunk and Insane, so I can TOTALLY get away with this shit

[novakru]

So
I am about to be left
My husband and I have been together since 1996
September 13th, 1996 was our first date
We had the lady that introduced us come with us to this crappy, old western bar with fucking LINE DANCING
I hate country/western but goddammit, I HAD A FUCKING blast.


We never really was apart after that, except for a few days here when he had get fresh clothes.


My grandmother died.






My cat is too skinny.
My head hurts if I stop drinking.


I am pathetic.

[GorePhobia]

I am so sorry all this stuff is happening to you. You are a great person and don't deserve to have this shitty stuff happen. I wish you all the best of luck with everything going on and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones on the passing of your grandmother.

We are all here for you and if you need a shoulder or ear let us know.

I am always here to talk to. I have been through A LOT this year and it helps to have someone to talk to.

[The Flayed One]

Ease into it. One step at a time. Rage when you must, cry when you need to, and heal at your own pace.

Remember, there is always that giant PM option up there for those of us you feel comfortable with. Just in case you need a private session.

[novakru]

THX Gore
You are the man!

Yeah, I go in and out of complete despair because there are many
MANY other things going on in my life I feel very incapable of handling right now.
Then I go through times where I know I will be ok no matter what.
It depends.


It gets better
sometimes

[novakru]

Ease into it. One step at a time. Rage when you must, cry when you need to, and heal at your own pace.

Remember, there is always that giant PM option up there for those of us you feel comfortable with. Just in case you need a private session.

I like that...ease into it
Very nice!


I think right now I need attention
hence the thread-lol

I feel in need of many males around me to boost my spirits a little, it is never easy for a woman to realize her man just doesn't dig her anymore.
My husband said he still thinks I am beautiful but I think he fears for all the money he is going to have to pay me.
I am just not the type to go out bar hopping so this man hunt is a bit stalled at the mo.
I had a good time one night after Gumdo practice when 4 of the boys stayed and chatted me.
It's amazing how much males can do for a crushed ego:)

Not that I don't enjoy my girlfriends...it's just a different appeal, you know?
And right now, I am a bit burnt by females...in RL that is....

[Dante'sInferno]

Sorry to hear that.I wish you the best in the future and you know i'm here if you want to talk.:)

[Painfulldeath]

Yeah Nova you're not alone in all of this. Life can give you a pile of shit. It's up to you to shovel it and grass will grow again. That was my way of offering support. :)

Edit: I definitely feel for you. It's not going to be an easy time no matter how positive you look at things. But you know what, you're gonna live through this and hopefully come out of it stronger and even happier than before. If you wanna talk about it I'm sure there are better people to do so but I'm there too. You keep your head up.

[Vodstok]

Just remember, BE CAREFUL. You first guy or two afterward are most likely going to be "rebound guys" and they need to at least have an idea of that. I was the "first guy after the first real relationship" rebound guy for every girl i dated before Bree and it sucks thinking on ething then finding out that you ended up making them feel better for a short time, but they dont need you any more.


that being said, BE CAREFUL...um ER (Carefuller, it should be a word) because for every guy who pays attention because he genuinely cares and wants you to feel better, there are 30 more who think "dude, emotionally fragile chicks are easy pickin's"

[urgeok2]

i dont normally like participating in threads like these because they are depressing - plus i think that the advice people give is the advice people found effective for themselves... there is not much hope that anything anyone says will apply to the person asking for it - nor will they take it even if they do because these threads are more about venting and seeking support.

come to think of it - the 1st post wasnt even asking advice - (but due to the nature of it - advice is given)


that being said ... i'll offer some - this one time - and i wont expect results ... but... just in case...


I'm 47... and recently became aware for the 1st time that we are not immortal.
The clock is ticking - we're racing toward the grave. NOW is the time to be happy - make every second count. I know that some folks - thanks to an unfortunate chemical balance - are incapable of being happy - at least not by choice.. and not on a regular basis.

i have no advice if this is the case ..


however - if the unhappiness derrives from a series of circumstances and events that are proving to be too challenging .... here's what i do: its something i learned from work.

there are times that i get hammered by the sheer amount of work that gets thrown at me ... its a very task oriented job with shifting priorities.
I almost lost my mind about a year and a half ago when my already job and a half workload was effectively doubled .. i nearly lost my mind.

The only thing that saved me was writing things down. When you are being hit in 10 different directions and things are all swirling around in your head - you cant get a fix on anyone thing. you have no goal, no focus, nothing gets resolved or accomplished because you are too overwhealmed.

i started writing task lists - sounds simple - but it worked. I did one thing at a time .. no matter how small - i was able to get a foothold and see progress.

i found that this simple technique worked just as effectively for personal life situations.


what is going wrong .. make a list.
how to tackle each one - sugestions for solutions for each item.



also - what is going right ? .... why am i going through this ?
(most of us will answer : the kid/s)

its nice to see a running list on the other side of the page for balance.

sure - some things are going wrong ... but theres things going right.



i did this for a friend of mine recently.

she has terrible luck with guys .. single mom...

the minus side was obvious ... but she wasnt paying any attention to the positive side.


she's attractive
she has a good job
she lives comfortable in a home in a decent neighbourhood.

i know that when thing suck - it's tough to look around at the people beside you who's lives are a worse hell than yours - and feel lucky about yourself - but it's a nice tool to use to get some perspective. There are people surviving with worse odds against them. how do they do it ? are they just stronger ? are you willing to allow yourself to believe you cant be that strong ?

if so - thats something else i have no advice for ..


but i do believe in itemizing the things that are keeping you from happiness ... and brainstorm each one for a solution. what you come up with might not work ... so you go back and start again. at least something positive is coming out of it, you will know that at least you are attempting to try something ,and things will be resolved sooner or later. progress will be made.

ever problem has a solution. sometimes things are more simple than they seem. but untill you can see the whole picture clearly ... you'll just be spinning in a whirlpool of misery.... and life is too short to spend 5 more minutes like that.

and by the way - alcohol is the worst fucking answer to any problem...

[Papillon Noir]

@Nova

I'm so sorry this had to happen, but there is nothing worse than a one-sided relationship and if he can't see what a wonderful person you are then he isn't worth your time. You will find happiness and someone who treats and loves you the way you should be treated.

Also, get a good lawyer and get him for all he's worth. You'll feel better. :)

[_____V_____]

What Urge said, word for word.

And remember, I am but just a PM away.

[Posher778]

I like that...ease into it
Very nice!


I think right now I need attention
hence the thread-lol

I feel in need of many males around me to boost my spirits a little, it is never easy for a woman to realize her man just doesn't dig her anymore.
My husband said he still thinks I am beautiful but I think he fears for all the money he is going to have to pay me.
I am just not the type to go out bar hopping so this man hunt is a bit stalled at the mo.
I had a good time one night after Gumdo practice when 4 of the boys stayed and chatted me.
It's amazing how much males can do for a crushed ego:)

Not that I don't enjoy my girlfriends...it's just a different appeal, you know?
And right now, I am a bit burnt by females...in RL that is....

More importantly, i'm coming to seeee youuuu.

[novakru]

Awesome advice
Thank You all for that from the bottom of my heart, and I will absorb it all...
and use it (yes, urge)

My kids are definitely what kept me waking up in the morning on more than a few occasions these past months.
And so I don't have an education or a great career to fall back on, I will make it alright in this world...I have no doubt something will come along that will be fun and hopefully fulfilling.


I think I will be much better off actually without someone constantly telling what a nothing I am, but I am so used to him and I truly loved him at one time and if I scrape off the pain, probably still do.
He will be in for a big surprise if he thinks he will be better off, that man doesn't even know how to fold his socks. And all the women he thinks he's going to play with, lmao, he is going to be really shocked.
.. yeah baby drive your little young arm candy around in your fucking MERCEDES-LMAO.
Anyway...


Vod: lmao
I am NEVER going down that road.
My men(yes, plural) will know nothing of me except my body (and that will be done safely-don't worry)
Never again will a man have my heart, mind or soul- that's some precious items I am locking away.

I can be happy with no one and Rayne knows exactly what I'm saying here.:cool:

[newb]

What Urge said, word for word.

And remember, I am but just a PM away.

I'm gonna have to agree with urgeok 100% as well [ great advice urge ]




even the alcohol part.....sure I may come across as a beer-guzzling fool...but alcohol IS a depressant. It has no effect on me because I'm an old fuck and have been around the block enough to have pretty much full control.

[stubbornforgey]

So
I am about to be left
My husband and I have been together since 1996
September 13th, 1996 was our first date
We had the lady that introduced us come with us to this crappy, old western bar with fucking LINE DANCING
I hate country/western but goddammit, I HAD A FUCKING blast.


We never really was apart after that, except for a few days here when he had get fresh clothes.


My grandmother died.







My cat is too skinny.
My head hurts if I stop drinking.


I am pathetic.



Novak sis

I wish there was something ..me or anyone in here can do or say
to make the hurt go away..
I truly wish that I could be there in person to give you a hug..
anything ..
but all I can offer you now is

We love you and we are here xxxes

[Doc Faustus]

I suggest you rent Hideous Kinky with Kate Winslet. Also, you have my number. I'm mostly around. As a writer, the chance of me being busy is ridiculously small. The chance of me having my phone off for no good reason are slightly higher, but the chance of me being busy is small until the job picks up.

[hacelikewhoa]

Wish you all the best novakru. Love is so enlightening, yet so terrible. If you are unhappy I think leaving is the best thing. There are too many vulnerable, dependent women in the world; so many good women trapped in their unhappiness when they deserve the world. If anything good comes of this I think it would be strength, definitely.

[monalisa]

I'm not gonna try and give you any great advice, it's all been said before. And I think Urge has some really good ideas. They can actually help in other areas of life too. I'm a list maker (to simplify the concept) myself, and it really does help. But I will tell you this, I was in a one-sided relationship for 12 years and since I got out, I feel so much stronger and better about myself it's incredible. From what I understand, he initiated the split, but you know what, he may be doing you the biggest favor of your life. He may live to regret it once he realizes that he lost a great woman, but you can move on and be a better stronger person.

And you can PM me too, any time you want. You WILL get through this, trust me. :)

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandma too. She's at peace, remember that. That's what helps when I think of my parents.

And keep the cat with you. You'll probably end up spoiling it and it'll get fatter. :D

[novakru]

Thank you:)

Yeah, I was unhappy for awhile.
I think our vacation this year back in August really made me see how fucked up everything was in our life...and so, I told him what I felt and he said, well, I am unhappy to-so lets make other arrangements.
It was shocking to think he could let go so easy, with no working on it... no.. let's get some help.
I never felt lower in my life... because he thought that I was that unimportant.
I think that what happened truly is that he saw how I stopped adoring him and he just couldn't take it...that if he actually had to WORK on the relationship it would be easier to just find a new person to put him back on that pedestal.
So basically, his ego has ruined this marriage with children.

All he had to do was give me real love...I am a completely loyal person and that's not too much to ask IMHO.


I am ok though, I lose my mind several times a day but I will be fine.
And I think Mona is totally right, it will make me so much better, because I have been a lost soul long enough.