Friday the 13th: Vetting the Voorhees' - The Top 10 Jasons of All Time
Friday the 13th: Vetting the Voorhees' - The Top 10 Jasons of All Time
Counting Down the Voorhees Villains.
"Dude. That goalie was pissed about something!" That was the understatement of the decade in 2003's Freddy Vs. Jason, but the stone-cold silent slayer got his start way back in the 1980s and at the time he wasn't so much into hockey and hacking. He was more about the breathable burlap sack and the ice-pick (his very first official murder didn't happen till he tracked Alice — Adrienne King — from the 1980 original into the sequel a year later and skewered her temple).
Still waters run deep, and Jason is no exception. It can't be easy as an actor to portray a character that's masked and says nada — and yet make him somehow your own. That's where killers like Freddy Krueger, Pinhead and James Bond have it a little easier. At least they can toss out a bit of clever repartee or a cutesy quip before dispatching their victims. All Jason's got is a head-tilt and a wide-sweeping right; I guess that's why he's considered pretty interchangeable when it comes to the thesps and stuntmen who've been cast to portray him over the years.
But people do argue there's a lot to said for the mute murderer and how his crimes are conveyed. Here's my own take, counting down from the "worst" (there is really no bad Jason, IMHO) to the best and most badass.
Oh, yeah… major spoilers are ahead, so consider this line your yellow caution tape.
10. Ari Lehman (Friday the 13th 1980) may have originated the role of Jason, but he never killed anyone. Still, he has a helluva reverse swan dive.
9. Warrington Gillette (Friday the 13th Part 2) is the least imposing of the killers for a couple of reasons. One, I never liked bag-head Jason; and two, he's so easily tricked by Ginny. But he was just getting his sea-legs as one of the most lauded slashers in cinematic history, so I do cut him some slack.
8. Richard Brooker (Friday the 13th: Part 3 in 3-D) does indeed get kudos for being the first hockey-mask Jason. However, Jason gets his ass handed to him by two chicks: Fox and Chris (just before he kills them, but still…) — he allows himself to not only get his own machete through his noggin, but he's also hung out to dry in the worst way possible.
7. Harry Shearer in "The Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror IX — Here Jason is seen in a not-so-quiet moment, chillaxin' with creepy cohort Freddy (foreshadowing their big screen face-off a few years later on the big screen) on the Simpsons' sofa.
6. Tom Morga/Dick Weiand (Friday the 13th: Part 5: A New Beginning) isn't even Jason (he's an impostor, avenging the death of his child, ala Pamela Voorhees), but I do have a soft spot for him. That soft-spot's probably in my head, but in the words of the other faux Jason above, "Whaddya gonna do?"
5. Ken Kirzinger (Freddy vs. Jason, 2003) spurts blood, runs like a sprinter, and outwits, outlasts and outright slays the competition in this divisive, over-the-top romp.
4. C.J. Graham (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives) is fun, because he's quite possibly the most ironic Jason of all — his smirky kills include those already "dead" (paintball party); coloring a happy face in blood red; punishing a credit card holder for "never leaving home without it", and giving one would-be football star reason to regret not wearing her helmet.
3. Ted White (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter) was playing Jason like it was the last hurrah (of course, it wasn't) and boy, does he give it his all. High-chieftain of the signature head-tilt and master of the machete-thwack, it's White who really shows Jason's true colors in slickery style.
2. Derek Mears (Friday the 13th 2009) — Mears may be the least-traditional Jason (he slowly tortures one victim, and holds another captive) but he's dropped the jokiness and gone for realism ("realism" given the milieu, mind you) in that he plays it like Jason is a survivalist who knows the woods like the back of his own deformed hand and has the mental means to spring-load his hunting grounds with booby-traps to die for.
1. Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th Parts 7-10 [New Blood, Manhattan, Hell and X]) — True, Hodder's been in the worst movies of the lot — especially X, which is a fave of yours truly but is pretty universally reviled — but how can he not take the decapitation crown with so many kills to his credit? The hulkiest, bulkiest Jason also had the time to perfect a style and he stuck to it throughout all four of his bloody bows. Hodder owns.
And just for good measure and flaming comments of hate, here are my favorite Friday movies, in order
- Friday the 13th (because it's the original)
- Friday the 13th Part 4 (Tommy rocks it)
- Friday the 13th Part 2 (Ginny is the final girl of the decade)
- Jason X (Jason in space killing with cryonetics)
- Friday the 13th Part 5 (Violet's robot dance is the bomb)
- Friday the 13th 2009 (because it's slick and brutal)
- Friday the 13th in 3-D (it's cheesy and I love Shelly)
- Friday the 13th Part 7 (Telekinetic Tina rocks)
- Freddy Vs. Jason (props for its audacity and monster mash-ups are always fun)
- Friday the 13th Part 6 (Jason lives thanks to supernatural resurrection)
- Friday the 13th Part 8 (Jason goes to hell, and so does the audience)
- Friday the 13th Part 9 (A regrettable, forgettable ferry foray into Manhattan)
Latest User Comments:
| When Staci Met Jason... | |
| Yay, Staci Layne ! Finally some props for the scantly-apreciated JASON X. The virtual Camp Crystal Lake was the last stroke of genius had after going to 3-D. Looking forward to the reboot! | |
| 02-14-2009 by wiederhorn | discuss |