With a title like Hellhounds, I was hoping for a "man-eater" style horror movie along the lines of When Animals Attack, or I would have gladly settled for the other possibility: A supernatural chiller set in Satan's kennel of sin. What I wasn't expecting was a mythological story set in ancient Greece. Still, I was open-minded… for about 5 minutes.
As the opening credits rolled on this cheaply made, slapdash sword and sandals blood-fest, I thought it was funny the director had the same name as the kid from Silver Spoons ("Ricky" Schroder, but last I heard that actor had adopted the more mature moniker of "Rick", so I didn't think it could possibly be him… well, guess what? Yep - it's him, and he really should have changed his name altogether in this case!). What I didn't think was so funny was the bad acting, terribly storyline, and even worse CGI, all evident very early on.
Starring Scott Elrod and Amanda Brooks as star-crossed lovers Kleitos and Demetria, the movie follows what happens when one of them (guess which?) is kidnapped as a virgin sacrifice by an evil lord or the underworld, and one of them (guess which?) charges forth to the rescue. Of course, Kleitos can't go by himself — he's got a know-it-all sidekick and his geeky little brother with him. The look, feel and dynamic are similar to the Hercules TV series, but the tone is not: Hellhounds takes itself far too seriously for viewers to have fun with it.
There's an awful lot of walking and talking in Hellhounds, and not much in the way of epic battles, swordfights, or hellhound horror. (Not that there's a chance these paper-dogs could be in the least scary.) The story is lackluster, and the dialogue isn't even so bad it's good… it's just bad. I can see why the actors would take these jobs — it's work — but was this really a story Ricky Schroder just had to tell? I mean, a director shoulders a lot of the responsibility and accountability and this could NOT possibly have looked good on paper. My only guesses are: somebody's blackmailing Schroder, or he has one helluva overhead.
There is some violence and gore, but it's so poorly done via CGI superimposed over real actors, it loses its impact. The only halfway decent visuals I can single out are the practical makeup jobs, especially those on the damned souls stuck in Hades. (But that's not enough to recommend Hellhounds.)
There are no special features or additional release materials on the DVD. (Thank Hades for small favors!)
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