My Bloody Valentine: 3-D

I'd recently re-watched the hilariously bad yet endearing 1981 original, so I was all set as I donned my special glasses and had my aspirin at the ready for the press screening of My Bloody Valentine: 3-D. I did my homework, and I knew all the players: Sometimes uneven but underrated director Patrick Lussier was at the helm, beautiful babe Jaime King had the lead, and Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike, Kerr Smith was one point in a jagged love quadrangle. (In fact, Smith was one of the first actors I ever interviewed [for The Forsaken] when I got started in this fun romp I call a career).

As someone who's not overly fond of horror remakes or eye-straining 3-D tomfoolery, I went into My Bloody Valentine: 3-D knowing all the facts, but with fairly muted expectations. Little did I know that I'd have such a great time, I'd be rushing back to see it again the very next night!

The movie, which does employ several 3-D "gotcha!" gimmicks as well as subtle immersion into the story and character-driven moments, begins with a flashback of what happened in Pennsylvania's Hanniger Mines 10 years ago. It was February 14, when the owner's college-age son Tom ("Supernatural" star Jensen Ackles) set a chain of events into motion which led a psychotic miner Harry Warden (Rich Walters) to kill some 22 people. Careless Tom was enjoying himself at the big holiday dance when it happened.

Having fled in shame, Tom returns home a decade later to collect his now-dead dad's ashes and inherit the family's tarnished legacy. Nobody's exactly leaping with joy to have the stern young man come back to town. His old flame Sarah (King) is now married to his ex-best friend Axel (Smith), who has recently become the town's sheriff. Axel took over from retiree Burke (the venerable Tom Atkins), who always harbored bitter feelings after having to shoot and kill Warden. Even the executor of the Hanniger Will, the seemingly benign elderly local gadabout Ben Foley (Kevin Tighe), has nothing but outright disdain for Tom.

Then, a strange thing happens: The grisly pick-axe murders start up again. It is the ghost of Harry Warden? Has Tom's return triggered fury in a latent killer? Is it (and was it) Tom himself? All these questions are answered in the end, which is what makes the movie so much fun to see twice… now, don't get me wrong: it's no Usual Suspects or Angel Heart puzzle, but armed with your knowledge, it's a kick to go through the motions again and pick up all the hints and clues showing whodunit.

Having seen far more 3-D than I'd care to (from Vincent Price's House of Wax, to Friday the 13th 3, to Beowulf, to Bolt), I must say that My Bloody Valentine: 3-D makes the very best use of the medium I have ever experienced. The gory and violent death scenes spatter blood most gleefully outward, while the breasts bounce up and down in the gratuitous nude scenes (totally expected and welcomed in this hard-R horror world!) — but what you may not realize is how drawn in you get into the minutia of the everyday worlds of these characters. Screenwriters Todd Farmer and Zane Smith gave Lussier an array of layers (for an unapologetic horror movie) to draw from. There are people with shades of gray; a plausible pool of (ever-dwindling) suspects; indoor and outdoor locations, including expanse and claustrophobia; and just enough comic relief to punctuate the seriousness of the situations.

The actors all do their parts very well — from the bit players (Selene Luna) to the main attractions (King) — but there's a certain scene-stealer I'd like to single out. Not because she is buck-naked throughout one drawn-out and pivotal suspense scene, but because Betsy Rue is a damn fine actress. As the feisty and spirited Irene, she gives a truly fearless performance in every sense of the word — her presence and demeanor reminded me of a handful of legendary ladies from the gory, glory days of yore: Jenny Agutter, Adrienne Barbeau and especially Linnea Quigley. Rue's definitely got the chops to make to wear the scream queen crown if she so chooses (this is her first horror movie).

I'd love to ramble on more about Atkins, to recount all the awesome death scenes, cool homages to the original and such, but this remake is definitely one best seen for yourself (twice!).

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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson [1]