The Bleeding DVD Movie Review

The Bleeding DVD Movie Review
Directed by Charlie Picerni. Starring Michael Matthias, Vinnie Jones, Rachelle Leah, Michael Madsen, DMX, Kat von D, and William McNamara. Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson
By:stacilayne
Updated: 01-29-2011
 
Mike Hammer meets Hulk Hogan with a twist of Blade the vampire killer, in this very, um, interesting horror thriller called The Bleeding.
 
Of course, we all know "interesting" is Hollywood-speak for "bad". However, I must admit that I didn't find The Bleeding altogether unentertaining. I liked the Fast & The Furious connection, what with all the souped up hotrods, including a custom Mustang and a sweet Corvette, both of which take center stage (thankfully) quite a bit.
 
Michael Matthias is the voiceover narrator, star and face of the film and while he is not at all incompetent, he comes off slightly comical in his serious approach to the inherently goofy material — and he really should have left the cinematic philosophical soliloquies to the real gumshoes. (But even Philip Marlowe channeling Lee Strasberg while holding an Academy Award could not make a VO like this work: "I don't know how my brother got transformed into this pure and evil king but if he is in fact evil, fuck him. He ain't my brother no more.")
 
Matthias plays Shawn Black, a muscle-bound meathead who loves fast cars and faster women, and who's going nowhere fast in life… until he finds his purpose as a vampire killer after his brother (Cain… yes: Cain, played by Vinnie Jones) becomes one of the undead. Multi-horsepowered pedal to the metal chases in hails of silver-bullets cloaked in pithy pre-trigger pulling exposition go on for about an hour and half. The machination are mainly, it would seem, to introduce the stunt-cast (these notorious names include Armand Assante, Kat Von D, DMX, UFC ring-girl Rachelle Leah, and Michael Madsen as a preacher). It's quite the motely pit crew. Lack of story acceleration aside, there are some pretty ambitious, well-executed stunts and the makeup effects are fun.
 
The Bleeding is reasonably entertaining if there's nothing better on Spike TV, but if you're looking for a good'n gory vampire movie with necking-biting and solar-sparked meltdowns, keep on looking. Not only is Black's weapon of choice a shotgun, but so are the vampires'! They'd rather shoot than suck, and they're better behind the wheel than they are flying on the wings of a bat. Even so, though The Bleeding isn't a watershed moment in vampiric cinema… at least it's not another Twilight.
 
There's a decent collection of extras on the DVD, mainly focusing on The Bleeding's strong points (stunts, cars, effects, pyrotechnics) but there is one on the not-so-strong points (actors... hanging on set with the likes of Jones and Madsen looks like about as much as watching reruns of the "A-Team" on Telemundo).
 
= = =
Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson
Latest User Comments: