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  #81  
Old 03-24-2009, 09:53 AM
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He looks like Kevin Smith as the Punisher.
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  #82  
Old 03-24-2009, 10:01 AM
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Pretty decent effort Ferret, but Renegade is much leaner, meaner dude. That one looks like a real Muhammed Ali with guns.

He isnt a heavy hitter like Arnie or Stallone. Think more in the lines of Kurt Russell-ish kinda persona.
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  #83  
Old 03-24-2009, 10:16 AM
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How does this do?

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  #84  
Old 03-24-2009, 10:21 AM
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Thats certainly an improvement.

Lose the machine gun from the left hand, put a .45 in his right, double holsters under arms (one of them having the other handgun), longer jacket, lesser hair, rough chin, scar on neck, slightly bigger goggles, insignia of death on chest and a wolf/bird of prey as a sidekick, and you got him. :)
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  #85  
Old 03-24-2009, 11:03 AM
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I think this is what you're after. :p

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  #86  
Old 03-24-2009, 11:10 AM
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Okay, to get folks pumped up I'll do a little preview. This time featuring Brix

INT. Roland Kassir's Mansion - NIGHT

FADE IN:

Cigar smoke fills a large room decorated with only a desk and a chair on both sides of it. The desk is on the opposite end of the room from the windows, which take up an entire wall. In the chair with it's back to the wall is ROLAND KASSIR (50s) a drug lord. He's bald and a scar runs from the center of the top of his head down to his right ear. A black cane with a golden handle is leaning on the desk. It looks fairly new. A younger man in a baseball cap opens the door and pokes his head in.

KASSIR'S EMPLOYEE
He's here.

ROLAND KASSIR
Check him first and send him in.

KASSIR'S EMPLOYEE
Yes, sir.

Kassir's employee closes the door, a few moments later the door opens and a large, muscular man walks in. He's wearing a brown trenchcoat over a black T-Shirt and jeans. His brown steel-towed boots leaving indentations in the floor. There is a scar across his cheek and one from his left eyebrow to the temple The shoulders of his trenchcoat are dripping with rain. This is BRIX. He remains standing.

BRIX
You know, normally the desks are in front of the window.

ROLAND KASSIR
I'm aware. I wasn't... satisfied with that arrangement.

Roland rubs the scar on his head.

ROLAND KASSIR
Have a seat.

BRIX
I'm fine. What do you want?

His voice is like rocks in a washing machine.

ROLAND KASSIR
(nervous)
Okay... Right. As you know there has been a lot of trouble stirring up lately because of the kids who think they can just come in and take my town with their hallucinogens and party drugs. You see what I'm getting at?

BRIX
How many of them?

ROLAND KASSIR
There's three in charge. I know your rates.

Roland slides a large stack of CASH in front of Brix. He takes his left hand from his pocket and returns it with the stack in hand.

ROLAND KASSIR
You're not going to count it?

BRIX
I know you're not stupid enough to try and pull shit on me.

ROLAND KASSIR
So can you get the job done?

Brix pulls both hands from his pockets, reaches into his coat and pulls out a shiny, gold-colored desert eagle. There is blood smeared on the knuckles of his right hand.

ROLAND KASSIR
How did you get that in here? I told him to check you.

Brix smiles and stands up to leave. When he exits he leaves the door open. Roland calls for his employee, nothing He stands up and limps out of the door only to discover his employee slumped against the wall, a large dent where his face used to be.

FADE OUT


Last edited by massacre man; 03-24-2009 at 12:19 PM.
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  #87  
Old 03-24-2009, 11:15 AM
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Very nice! BRIX is prett badass.
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  #88  
Old 03-24-2009, 12:01 PM
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Great work. It flows really well.
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  #89  
Old 03-24-2009, 12:26 PM
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Awesome! Kudos for proper format. :D
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  #90  
Old 03-24-2009, 01:44 PM
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Thank you for the kind words everyone. Anybody else looking to put in their characters?
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