The "NO DRAMA" thread

[bloodrayne]

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.



"WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they all yours?"



"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.



She says, "Sit down Leroy."



All the children rush to find seats.



"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."



'This one's my oldest; he is Leroy" "OK, and who's next?"



"Well, this one, he is Leroy, also."



The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues.



One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!



"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?"



Their momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an they all comes a runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy."



The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"



"Then I calls em by their last names"

[monalisa]

Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the
entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

He is playing a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland when he asks the
audience for total quiet.

Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands, once every few
seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the
microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice with a broad Scottish accent, from near the front of the crowd,
pierces the silence ..

"Weill, fukin stop doin it then!"

[Thomasgeorge]

two indians are walking down a road one says
"buffalo cum"
the other says
"how u know"


"my ear is stuck to the ground"

[crabapple]

[Posher778]

A man goes sky diving for the first time, and he spots a blind man preparing for his jump. The man asks him, how do you sky dive if you're blind? And he responded by saying "I... jump out of the plane..."

The man then laughed and asked, "How do you know when to pull your parachute cord?"

The blind man responded with "I adapted to being able to smell the pine from 30,000 feet up."

Then the interested man said, "how do you know when to prep for landing??"

Then the blind man giggled and replied.....................................
















"When the LEASH goes SLACK!":D

[VampiricClown]

Originally Posted by Posher778

A man goes sky diving for the first time, and he spots a blind man preparing for his jump. The man asks him, how do you sky dive if you're blind? And he responded by saying "I... jump out of the plane..."

The man then laughed and asked, "How do you know when to pull your parachute cord?"

The blind man responded with "I adapted to being able to smell the pine from 30,000 feet up."

Then the interested man said, "how do you know when to prep for landing??"

Then the blind man giggled and replied.....................................
















"When the LEASH goes SLACK!":D

:confused:

[Dominion]

Originally Posted by VampiricClown

:confused:

That's what I said when I read that one.;)

[VampiricClown]

Originally Posted by pinkerton

The man spots a blind man. Most blind people have seeing eye dogs. He smells the pine trees and pulls the cord, now mind you the dog jumps with the man. The dog is on a leash so the man knows to be ready to land when the leash gives slack. Its the irony of the dog dying that is funny.;)

Ooooooh! Now I get it!!

Thanks for clearing that one up.

[Posher778]

pfft. There's always a crowd that doesn't get it
I think it's hysterical.

[VampiricClown]

Originally Posted by Posher778

pfft. There's always a crowd that doesn't get it
I think it's hysterical.

It is now that I understand it.

I wasn't thinking about the dog. :o