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#292
03-21-2005, 04:49 AM
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Quote:
thats the way Goofy talks ! Garsh instad of Gosh .. etc .. man, who doesn't like Goofy ??!!! 'oooooooooohhh, the world owes me a livin.....'' 
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#293
03-21-2005, 05:18 AM
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Quote:
__________________
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#294
03-21-2005, 05:33 AM
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I hate having diarrhea, whatever the cause...hot food, stomach problems, doesn't matter...
(although I acknowledge that shitting liquid fire after a badass curry adds just that little bit more unpleasantness, that's not the point.) I hate the having to get up every five minutes, and the fear or venturing too far away from a toilet is a real bitch. Pretty much fucks up your day. Most annoying part? Sitting down to paint the toilet bowl in the most noisy, stinking, fucked up manner, wiping, getting up, and... !MOTHERFUCKER! ...time for the second onslaught. Y'all know it happens. Yep...that's my latest realised hate. As great as the comedy value is when it happens to someone ELSE, it's a GODDAMN BASTARD when it hits YOU, or should I say, when it SHITS you. ps: No, no diarrhea today.
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#295
03-21-2005, 05:56 AM
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some day i'll tell the scotch bonnet seed covered chicken wing story ... when i'm feeling particularily cruel...
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#297
03-21-2005, 06:01 AM
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scotch bonnets are evil....
true story. I was working in a produce store, and the week before we had gotten aa delivery of scotch bonnets that didnt look quite right. they looked more like small bell peppers, and they were not really all that hot. Anyway, the following week comes, and with it a new delivery. these ones looked normal, so one o fthe managers too one out and slied a tiny piece and tried it. he sat there for a few seconds and said "hey, these arent very hot either..." so, being a dumbass, i grabbed one and bit half of it off. once it got in my mouth, the manager said "oh wait, there it is. wow, that is hot." My mouth fucking exploded. i was coughing it out into a trashcan, my godamn head was on fire. i put half a loaf of stale bread in my mouth trying to absorb to oil, my nose was running like a faucet.... it took 10 minutes for the pain to subside and my godamn mouth was numb for the rest of the day. my eyes watered and my nose ran for a half hour afterward....
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#298
03-21-2005, 06:11 AM
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it was horrible HORRIBLE !!!
ok .. here goes. After volleyball (oddly enough) one night years ago - we went out for a bite in a place we'd never been before ... i asked for hot wings ... the hottest they had. 'oh you dont want those - they're really hot' 'yes i do ..' this went on long enough for me to be annoyed (at the time i could eat as hot or hotter than any west indian guy i knew) so everyone got their food and the different servers kept going ... is that the guy getting the hot wings .. bla bla bla ... So they finally came ... it looked like a plate of spagetti. thick tomato sauce covered with what looked like white cheese.. it wasnt cheese, it was scotch bonnet pepper seeds .. the hottest part of the hottest pepper on the planet.. so i took a bite and simultanously noted 3 things 1) they tasted like shit.. the sauce was garbage 2) they were hot 3) they werent cooked .. they were pink and bloody inside. I sent them back knowing full well that they thought i was wimping out .. So when they brought them back i had to eat them .. despite the shitty taste - because i knew they thought i was being an asshole despite their warnings. even if the wings had tasted good .. there would have been no way of telling after a couple .. the pepper seeds were completely covering the wings like snow ... they started a burn in my mouth throat and stomach immediately - but i kept eating (the burn gets worse when you stop) I will add at this point that this is the stupidest attempt at making wings hot i ever saw. They didnt care about how they tasted .. i'm sure the regular wings were shit too ... So the next day at work .. i'm getting that sweat on the brow .. the undeniable realization that the time to pay the piper was coming nearer and nearer. and when it came ... it was everything i could do to stop myself from screaming .. i never before or since experienced pain like that ... i thought i was going to have to go to a hospital... If i had a popsical to shove up my ass at that time i would have gladly done it .. Eventually i knew i had to make it back to my desk .... i could barely walk .. had to shuffle down the hallway like a 100 year old man in a futile attempt to keep my ass cheeks from touching each other. anyone with even the rudimentary understanding of the human ass structure knows how impossible this would be to do while walking. 2 or 3 hours later the pain subsided .. the tears dried up .. easily one of the most horrible experiences of my life ...
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