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#21
05-30-2007, 04:27 AM
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Glad you agree...I figured you wouldn't go on the warpath...
My only points made here are largely based on my (I'd like to think) realistic perception regarding lifestyle choices, and the kind've age one is at before they can and should be able to make such decisions on their own, and that crap I've seen/heard out of a lot of people. Judgement in spades. I like to think that I was being pretty realistic, even though I gather some people will not appreciate it, but hey...me shutting up won't destroy possibility of inevitable issues rising, eh? Anyhows, that's all. Just wanted to say I appreciate your mature, unbiased outlook.
__________________
It's not the bullet with your name on it you have to worry about...it's all those other ones marked "to whom it may concern." 
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#22
05-30-2007, 04:43 AM
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Phalanx, guess what, if a child finds an interest, they will explore it. Whether they are seven or seventeen. It is best to help guide and keep the child out of the ugly side of things. The fact Nova is trying to find things SUITABLE for her child and show an interest in what she does says a lot about her. You cannot keep a child in a closet.
You don't have to reply to defend yourself, I know I'm right.
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#23
05-30-2007, 04:44 AM
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Quote:
:o my so called staunch Goth kid still listens to ABBA
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my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D
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#24
05-30-2007, 05:15 AM
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Quote:
I suppose if a kid were to start torturing small animals then the parent shouldn't intervene and just let it run it'd course, eh? Let them explore that interest? Not saying it's remotely the same thing, but there are certain things that parents, as just that PARENTS shouldn't lead their kid down the garden path about. Things that may not even be "bad", or "wrong" (such as the goth culture), but due to negativity others put on it, could effect your child in a bad way...not to mention cause issues for the family involved. Maybe a smart idea would be a frank discussion at an age where they can understand judgement and prejudice, and the kind've shit they'll recieve from (and you know this) 75%+ of people out there? the kinds've people who call horror fans sick, and those that wear black at all "freaks"? This here is my main issue...a child of that age shouldn't have to have that shit brought into their life, and if you say that it wouldn't be, or it's not an issue...you're lying to whoever you're trying to convince, and you know it. The negative perception of goth culture isn't something I personally share, but I'm smart enough (not that it takes more'n a set of eye's and ears) to realise it's out there...and if I had a kid myself that wanted to dress in certain clothers...etc...sure, but no, I wouldn't allow for them to wear the clothes and apparrel out of the house all the time...I wouldn't allow it to become their standard, nor would I push the related music/movie/attitude/poetry...etc upon them until they were ready to explore it themselves...if you think a 7 year old kid saw some photos of goths, and immediately thought "hey now...what music are they into? what's their culture and lifestyle like" and actually thought about anything beyond the visual aspects, then I'd suggest checking into reality. To have a kid of 7 embrace more than just the clothes/apparel at so early an age is just irresponsible, and shows very little regard for the emotional development of a child...their self image will change in their formative years on the basis of where most kids get the majority of their input, other people. Teach your kid about all that in an unbiased manner, THEN let them explore on their own at a suitable age, while keeping a watchful eye. That? That's the guidance you refer to. Not, aw, they like it, fuck it, better let 'em just have their way...(or, in my opinion, the parents way) What "trouble" would a child come across if they were allowed to dress in the things they saw in these photos? Not much, right? This person is talking about checking music to suit, and for fucks sake, websites? C'mon if ever that's an invitation...not to mention the inevitable aforementioned negative input. If you seriously think a child is beyond emotional scarring by being told "not to listen to the nasty people", then a lot of things have been sugar coated for you, haven't they? Quote:
I like it. I think I'll go ahead and cancel my subs. to this thread though...seems it could be leaning towards an argument I have no time for. Have a good 'un.
__________________
It's not the bullet with your name on it you have to worry about...it's all those other ones marked "to whom it may concern." Last edited by Phalanx; 05-30-2007 at 05:26 AM.
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#25
05-30-2007, 06:10 AM
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I agree on everything you say cheebs..
I think in most cases parents tend to turn a blind eye towards what thier kids are up to..or..they can see but want thier kid to explore..which leads to more trouble than expected..or worst still [as in my case]..give in to thier kids demands. My girl caught me at a vulnerable time ..this phase came about after we buried my younger child..so although not to be excused..i suppose if she wanted to leave home and work as a hooker at the time..i suppose i would've shown her the door... But..i would also like to add..that if the child is given parental guidence..then there should be no real hassle.. another BUT...also as long as the child is shown that theres a good and a bad to thier chosen field. Is 7 too young for goth..or is 7 too young to be able to choose.?? Lets put it this way..would there be any problem if the child wanted to play rugby..??or go punk..?? 6 yr olds are rapping to 50 cents/many copy the sexually explixit dances portrayed in music vids and playing vid games depicting violence..watching movies depicting gang warfares. It all comes down to ..is the parent willing to step up and tell thier kid..ok..this is way out of your league..but i can offer you another choice. What i like about the thread starter is ..her child wants to try something new and instead of leaving it up to the her own devices or simply telling the kid 'NO' ..and no doubt will become rebellious and try anyway..to see what all the fuss is about. This parent is helping her and will also be able to monitor not only her music but also showing her that no matter what choices you make in life..you can always depend on me..or come to me for anything..I AM APPROACHABLE.!! which is a great thing to see . It helps in adulthood..believe it or not. :D
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my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D
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#26
05-30-2007, 06:10 AM
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Did I ever say just let them have it their way. You let them look into it with a watchful eye. Did I ever say just let them dive head first in? You assume a lot. Keeping them from looking into will just lead to them doing it anyways and resenting you. If you guide them in things they show an interest in, at ANY age, is the best practice. I agree that websites is not a good idea, but music that is suitable? I guess I am scarring my children by letting them listen to my music as well as the christian music my wife listens to as well as the kids music they like. I guess I am a horrible parent for exposing my children to things, SUITABLE for their age. Damn me to hell.
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#28
05-30-2007, 07:04 AM
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Quote:
I guess if anyone was to defend themselves, you would dismiss it as someone getting upset and defensive of your opinion - when their opinion may well be justified and significant to their own situation. Wake up, deary :(
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Understanding is a 3-edged sword Last edited by Shazbut; 05-30-2007 at 07:07 AM.
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#29
05-30-2007, 10:56 AM
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OMG...
Nobody..especially disresputes the way anyone else raises thier own children.. and the comments made from Phan makes sense or doesn't come across offensive at all. As parents we all have our own methods of child rearing.. as on lookers to others methods..we will always find faults or criticise... Have you not once..looked at another parent and criticised the way thier child misbehaves..or the way thier child eats too many sweets..blah blah..etc So please..
__________________
my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D
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#30
05-30-2007, 11:38 AM
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So Stubby, it is perfectly fine for him to tear into people, but the moment we return fire, we get OMG. Great double standards. He makes his comments on his idea of parenting, we are not allowed to respond back? Oh forgot, he has been here for a long time and we are newbs. Damn my ignorance.
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