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  #281  
Old 11-08-2006, 04:15 AM
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That reminds me of a poem in a book I've had since I was nine or something like that:




It isn't the cough
That carries you off.
It's the coffin
They carry you off in.
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  #282  
Old 11-08-2006, 04:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bloodrayne View Post
This one is REALLY old...and pretty silly...

I still thought I'd post it just in case there's the slightest chance that someone here may not have already heard it


A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,
when behind him he hears:
BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER...

FASTER...

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is
pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The lid opening wider and wider.

The man doesn't want to see what's inside.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...






and,











Stops the coffin.


:D
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  #283  
Old 11-20-2006, 03:13 PM
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Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Eileen,
says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you
get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said
proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking
her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant
get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once
in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like
how money feels in my hand. And lastly, instead of you
going out shopping, you can stay right here at home
and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
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  #284  
Old 11-20-2006, 03:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newb View Post
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Eileen,
says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you
get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said
proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking
her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant
get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once
in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like
how money feels in my hand. And lastly, instead of you
going out shopping, you can stay right here at home
and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

'spits her coffee'

LMAO
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  #285  
Old 11-23-2006, 01:10 PM
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrCmOTnFEFY


:eek:
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  #286  
Old 11-23-2006, 01:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Flayed One View Post
:eek: is right :eek:
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  #287  
Old 11-25-2006, 04:08 AM
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HAHA!...Now YOU GUYS have that song stuck in YOUR heads, too :p
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If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit

My Karma ran over my Dogma

God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him

I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
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  #288  
Old 11-25-2006, 04:22 AM
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That coffin joke was terrible, oh my.
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  #289  
Old 11-25-2006, 04:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disease View Post
That coffin joke was terrible, oh my.
HaHa...I already know that :p
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...
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit

My Karma ran over my Dogma

God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him

I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
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  #290  
Old 11-25-2006, 04:34 AM
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give me a better one then or I'll flood you with bad ones!
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