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[Stingy Jack]

Originally posted by Egekrusher
I'm working on my first story right now. It's about a peeping tom who takes things too far. That will be posted in a couple of days.

Well I'll be damned. And you said you didn't want to be a writer. ;)

[Mental Sidecase]

Originally posted by Vodstok

I love doing those essays, they are always educational :)

Vodstok+Education=DISASTER

[Mental Sidecase]

Originally posted by Stingy Jack
Well I'll be damned.

Jack of the Damned. In stores near you.

[Egekrusher]

Originally posted by Stingy Jack
Well I'll be damned. And you said you didn't want to be a writer. ;)

I didn't know what to write about. This is... let's just say I can identify with the character. It's not a true story, don't get me wrong, but it's basically what could happen if someone such as myself lost control.

[Vodstok]

well, good writing draws from personal experience, at least in some way

[Egekrusher]

A little preview, this is the beginning of the story. It's probably going to be a short novella.

I watched through her window.
She had no idea I was there, hiding in the bushes.
I was using the best pair of binoculars money could buy.
One hand was steadying them; the other was down the front of my pants.
I watched her as she stripped off her clothes, preparing to sleep. The excitement, the thrill of spying on her was almost more than I could handle. Her exquisite curves, the dark tan of her body, and her angelic beauty were mesmerizing.

I have been watching her for 10 minutes now as she undresses. Every second of that time has been a lesson in want and need. I knew that I wanted her, but I also knew that she would never go for someone like me. So I sit here watching, knowing that she can’t see me, becoming all the more aroused because of it.

Finally, the moment comes when she strips completely naked. My jaw drops, and my breathing becomes hurried. It’s all over at that point. I took fresh clothes out of the duffel bag that I am carrying and set them neatly on a stump next to me. I take off my soiled pants and underwear and fold them up, placing them in the bag.

After putting on the clothes, I get my binoculars back out and check her window to make sure she hasn’t seen me yet. She hasn’t, because she is lying in bed now. Good. That means I can get away safely. The sheer terror of being caught is overwhelming. I slip out of the bushes into her backyard and scale the wooden post fence separating our houses. When I land, I double check to make sure none of the neighbors saw me. It’s dark outside, and nearly midnight, so I’m fairly sure that I’m safe. I try my best to walk casually around the side of my house towards my front door, as if coming back in from a bonfire or something of the sort (though I don’t have any friends to have a bonfire with, but that’s beside the point). I don’t do a very good job of it, as I stumble on a step and land face first, nearly breaking my nose from the force of the impact. My neighbor, an old crazy cat lady, howls something unintelligible at me from her porch across the street. “Fucking drunk bitch”, I mutter under my breath.

I slowly picked myself back up, still disoriented from the blow to the nose, and nearly fall over again on the rickety old rocking chair sitting on the porch. “GODDAMMIT!!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. The cat lady stopped her taunting and gave me a horrified look, trying to yell about taking the Lord’s name in vain. If I hadn’t heard that same awful voice every day, I wouldn’t understand her, and as it was, I could only make out a few… choice words.

I opened the creaky screen door, cringing at the horrible noise that it made. ‘I really need to get that fixed’ I thought. The house that I was currently renting must have been 100 years old, though the owner claimed she had papers saying it was only 50, which, of course, I have never seen. The floor is covered in grime from years of white trash residents letting their spoiled children rub food all over it. The walls are a nasty brownish gray color that may have been white at one time.


Edit: Ok, I added a little more.

[Egekrusher]

Let me know if it's too disjointed, or leaves you scratching your head.

[Mental Sidecase]

Oh thats great... for a porno film. Permission to speak my mind? Good. Thats the most shittest piece of bull I've ever read. Or maybe its just because I only got a preview to read. Who knows. I'm not saying that its bad but to my taste, it sucks. I'm sure some one would like it and If I could read the whole story I'm sure I could even like it but that preview, to me, sucked. Good luck though. I know how hard it can me to make a story. Just try to relax your mind and just let you fingers take over with the keyboard. Don't think about piece after piece just... "go with the flow". It can make it a lot easier. And if you make a mistake or something you don't like in it, just leave it till you finished. Then look it over for mistakes and such. Theres a first draft, a second draft and the final draft. Sometimes more. Good luck. Let me know when you finish.

[Egekrusher]

It's supposed to sound like that Mental. It starts off as an erotic obsession and quickly degenerates to a psychotic one. That's all I can really give away.

[Mental Sidecase]

Oh, I see. Well like I said, be sure to tell me when its finished. You can call me "Freddy", by the way. But the normal mind does tend to say what it knows the name to be. And since my name says "Mental Sidecase" the mind will make you type it instead of "Freddy". Either way, I don't mind. Whatever way is easier for you. And if you don't know why "Freddy", then read the signature.