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#13
07-10-2006, 09:07 AM
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So...Maybe just a little soft...
__________________
...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be 
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#14
07-10-2006, 09:09 AM
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#15
07-10-2006, 09:10 AM
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Allllll Righty then, whadda delightful image.
__________________
Whatever The Fuck Ever
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#16
07-10-2006, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
Just be glad I didn't tell you guys ALL the details... Did you know if you cut an artery, it can shoot more than 15 feet across a room? Everyone gets their blood pressure checked from time to time, but ya never really stop to consider that pressure=FORCE...It was incredible....Luckily, the doctor was able to stop it in seconds, she said "WHOA...That's a good one!":D...Dustin said it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen, and only one nurse got hit (she was standing about 10 feet away, the spray got her)..I had never wondered how long it would take for the human body to completely bleed out, until that day...I mean, I had to be looking at AT LEAST a pint, right there in the air, all at once... Oh...And now we (Dustin and I) both know what my ovaries, uterus, bladder, and intestines look like :) I'm not even gonna tell ya about the spinal block...Cuz, apparently my vertebrae are too close together (my torso is very short, that's why I can't actually 'give birth', my uterus is on it's side, front to back, because it won't fit any other way, and the babies can't get out on their own)...So, the anesthesiologist had to try FOUR times to get the needle all the way into my spinal cord...The first time he said, "Oh sorry, that's not gonna work, I can't get this needle between the bones, it's getting stuck, the bones are too close together"...Then on the second jab I heard, "Well, that's not gonna work either, the needle is IN the bone now, it won't go through"...So, each time he goes a little higher (to the parts where the skin hadn't been numbed), on the third one I said, "That feels like it's in my kidney now", he said, "Oh no, I'm way up here, it's nowhere near your kidney", so I said, "I KNOW it's too high up to be in my kidney, what I'm trying to tell you is, it FEELS like it's in my kidney, so you are obviously too close to a nerve"..Then he says, "Oh, I see what you mean...Let me try again"...So, A little higher, and I let out a 'whoosh' of air, and he said, "Where do you feel it now?"...And I said, "Right where you jabbed it".....The preparation for the C-Section was WAY worse than the C-Section...It even made me sweat, which I thought was really weird... You men should be glad you can't get pregnant... Oh...And...It looks like I DID end up telling you about it after all :D
__________________
... If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be
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#17
07-10-2006, 09:40 AM
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Please tell me you camcorded this magical event so you can watch it at Xmas or on birthdays.
__________________
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#18
07-10-2006, 09:42 AM
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And, yes I DO know you were being sarcastic...But, I still really wish I had a tape..
__________________
... If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be
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#19
07-10-2006, 09:47 AM
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__________________
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#20
07-10-2006, 09:54 AM
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A hundred years ago, Christmas was a great time for telling ghost stories around the fire. Now it's a great time for scary zombie movies. Birth tapes probably would go over pretty well too! Especially the squishy ones.
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