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#11
06-25-2006, 06:44 PM
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not really dirty but
there was this preacher every sunday morning he would stand outside the church doors and say "OPEN THEM DOORS OPEN THEM WIDE LET THE SPIRITS FLOW INSIDE"! well that went on for awhile finally the drunk who resided near the church got tired of it and walked over there with a brick in hand while the preacher chanted OPEN THEM DOORS OPEN THEM WIDE LET THE SPIRITS FLOW INSIDE, the drunk rared back to throw the brick the preacher shouted CLOSE THEM DOORS CLOSEM QUICK THAT MOTHERFUCKERS GONNA THROW A BRICK!!!!!! :o 
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#12
06-25-2006, 08:39 PM
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What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip. This beautiful young parapalegic was sitting in her wheelchair gazing sadly at the ocean when a young man walked by. "Why do you look so sad?" he asked. The young woman said with a tear"I've never been kissed." "Well I can take care of that" the young man said and kissed her gently, walking away pretty pleased with himself. The next week, there was the same girl in her wheelchair staring sadly at the ocean. "Now why do you look so sad?" he asked. She sniffled and said " I've never been fucked" "Well, I can take care of that too" he said. He picked her up out of her wheelchair, carried her gently to the end of the pier and threw her off, screaming "Now you're fucked!!!"
__________________
I'll kill you and your dreams tonight Begin new life Bleed your death upon me Let your bloodline feed my youth ------------------------------ Ssshhh....did you hear that?
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#13
06-25-2006, 09:06 PM
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not 'dirty' but,
how do you fit 6,000,000 Jews into a Volkswagon? In the ashtray
__________________
 ===  WATCH MY MOVIES(UPDATED: 5/7/08, "No Exit") RING OF HONOR: BEST WRESTLING IN THE WORLD  TOO GOOD FOR THE HDC BATTLE ROYALE
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#14
06-25-2006, 09:12 PM
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How do you fit 5 comedians in a Volkswagon?
Four in the seats and Richard Pryor in the ashtray.
__________________
I'll kill you and your dreams tonight Begin new life Bleed your death upon me Let your bloodline feed my youth ------------------------------ Ssshhh....did you hear that?
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#16
06-26-2006, 12:35 PM
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How many hampsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
__________________
Snow falling and night falling fast, oh fast In a field I looked into going past, And the ground almost covered smooth in snow, But a few weeds and stubble showing last. The woods around it have it--it is theirs. All the animals are smothered in their lairs. I am too absent-spirited to count; The loneliness incluces me unawares. And lonely as it is, that loneliness Will be more lonely ere it will be less-- A blanker whiteness of benighted snow With no expression, nothing to express. They cannot scare me with their empty spaces Between stars--on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home To scare myself with my own desert places. Desert Places--Robert Frost
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#17
06-26-2006, 05:02 PM
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What do you give an 80 year old lady for her birthday?
Mikey... He'll eat anything :)
__________________
www.tatteredrags.net
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#18
06-27-2006, 12:21 PM
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Mickey and Minnie Mouse were at their divorce lawyer's office.
THe lawyer says to Mickey: "So you want a divorce because Minnie is crazy?" Mickey replies, "No, I said I want a divorce because she is fucking Goofy!"
__________________
Snow falling and night falling fast, oh fast In a field I looked into going past, And the ground almost covered smooth in snow, But a few weeds and stubble showing last. The woods around it have it--it is theirs. All the animals are smothered in their lairs. I am too absent-spirited to count; The loneliness incluces me unawares. And lonely as it is, that loneliness Will be more lonely ere it will be less-- A blanker whiteness of benighted snow With no expression, nothing to express. They cannot scare me with their empty spaces Between stars--on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home To scare myself with my own desert places. Desert Places--Robert Frost
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