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#11
12-10-2003, 12:19 PM
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hey that was a nice one
both the jokes were funny and i liked them...hmm..... i see i have competition hahahah.. :)
a guy and a woman are having wild sex.... after they are done.. the guy says that he needs to smoke, wheres the lighter..... she says.. that its in the drawer..... so he opens it to take it out.. in the drawer he sees a picture of a man...... so the man is scared, hes like is he your husband and she says no i am not married.... hes like is he your boyfriend... she again says no.... then he finally asks who is it god damn it... she replies thats me b4 the operation ...............hahahahahahahaha just imagine the guys face,, hahahahahhaa:D :)
__________________
i swear i have a heart of a kid............................................... ........on a table in my room!!!!!!!!!!! 
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#12
12-10-2003, 06:07 PM
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what can i say i cant tell jokes even if my life depended on it... boohoo.
__________________
"Cut him," Machine said. "Cut him while I stand here and watch. I want to see the blood flow. Dont make me tell you twice" Machine's Way -by George Stark
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#13
12-10-2003, 06:15 PM
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Q- what did ed gein say to the officer that arrested him..??
A- come on have a heart!! ha Ha yeah I know it is hilarious
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#14
12-10-2003, 06:26 PM
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heres one
mickey mouse and mini mouse get a divorce, they go to court and the judge heres both sides. after the trial the judge approaches mickey and says "Mr. mouse throughout the whole trial i could not find any evidence that your wife was crazy." then mickey says "i never said that she was crazy i said she was FUCKING GOOFY."
__________________
leave me here in my stark raving sick sad little world
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#15
12-10-2003, 06:27 PM
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Okay, prepare to be blown away, folks...
Q: What do you call a group of of singing bloodsuckers? A: A vamchoir! C'mon, you know you love it...
__________________
www.CalabreseRock.com www.CalabreseRock.com www.CalabreseRock.com www.CalabreseRock.com www.CalabreseRock.com
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#16
12-10-2003, 06:28 PM
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ok
man walks into a bar.....the man looks over to the seat at the end of the bar and there is another man sitting there drinking shots........the other man says to the first man........he i bet you 20 dollars that after i drink this shot i can jump from the 5th story of that building and live......the man takes the bet and the guy takes the shot and jumps off the fifth floor.....the first man laughs and says stupid bastard and takes the twenty buks and walks back into the bar....he sees the man sitting over on the stool right where he saw him the first time......this process is repeated 3 more times each time the bet raises by 50 dollars and each time the height raises until they are standing on the roof of this 50 story buildning........well the other man jumps off ......he hits the ground and the first guy says .....shit if he can do it i can....so he jumps off....well the second guy walks back into the bar 300 dollars richer and the bartender say ........DAMNIT Superman if you keep fukin with the customers i wont get any more business....... :D :D :D
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#18
12-11-2003, 12:03 AM
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hey
keep up the good work guys,,, keep sending jokes... i love them,...
h superman jokes ,,,, haan how about this one.... Superman in a bar crying, how no one wants to have sex with him.. so the bartender suggests man why dont you just fly down and rape them in a matter of seconds... cause you the fastest guy on the face of this earth,, the girl wouldnt even know what happened. hes like yea you right.. so he's flying around all of a sudden, he sees wonder woman lieing naked on the roof with her legs spread open.. so hes like what a perfect target... so he flies down, screws wonder woman and flies back up again... wonder woman looks up and says what the hell was that..Invisible man replies i dont know but my butts on fire.. hahahahahahhahahah:D
__________________
i swear i have a heart of a kid............................................... ........on a table in my room!!!!!!!!!!!
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#19
12-11-2003, 12:26 AM
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okay how about this one
superman is flying over metropolis and he's feeling really horny, really horny!!!! at one point he sees wonderwoman lying in the sun on the top of a roof...NAKED he thinks, well, Im faster then a bullet, Im going for it and she will never notice so superman flys on wonderwoman, fucks her and goes away wonderwoman screams "wtf was that!!!!!!" And the invissible man said: "I don't know" :D I know dumb, I just saw hollow man again lol
__________________
the act of slow piercing is a transcendent spiritual event. there is no pain just sensation you observe the body, experiencing the sensation, surrender to the experience feel the indorful lush as the surgical steel slices through
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#20
12-11-2003, 01:21 AM
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got a few...
youve probably heard this one;
1:A blind guy and his dog walk into a bar (no, this isn't the one where you say "you think the dog would've avoided it"), the guy is half way up to the bar when he and the dog stop, he grabs the dog by tha tail, and starts swinging it around and around in circles. The bartender, not really diggint the apparent animal cruelty, goes up to the guy, and asks what the fuck is going on...The blind guy replies, "relax, he's used to it, I'm just taking a look around" 2: q-Whats stiff in the morning and makes women scream? a- S.I.D.S victims (I know I'm gonna get shreded for that one, and the next one, but hey, they aint my originals) 3: q-Whats black and blue and hates sex? a- victims of violent rape 4: Theres this bum, who on his birthday, had actually managed to save up $20 - just enough cash for a fuck at the cheapest, scummiest whorehouse in town. So, he goes into the eatery/bar in the front, tells the barman what he's after, who then makes a phonecall, hangs up, turns back to the bum, and says "That'll be $15. they're all occupied at this time, feel free to have a seat and wait" So, the bum has a seat, hands the 'tender the $20 and buys a jug of beer with the remaining fiver. Now, as he's about 3 glasses into the beer, he's getting kind of peckish, seeing all the other patrons eating nearby. Just then, as though in answer to his prayers, a woman in a white apron comes out of the room in the back, which the bum figures must be their kitchen, as she's carrying a large container full of what seems to be canned tomatos. She places the container down under the bar "door", and goes back into the kitchen. The bum's quiet hungry by now, and asks the 'tender if he can have a few of "thosse thingsh in there" to eat. The 'tender gives him a "weirdo" look, but says "whatever does it for you my friend...they'll only be thrown out tomorow" Now, this guy was used to eating some pretty fucked-up stuff, rats, garbage, half eaten mouldy burgers....So, he goes for it, one after another of these tomatos, which are a little soft, but in some truly excellent sauce. On his fifth tomato, a young hooker comes up, sits next to him, and quickly turns away, muttering something and goes over to the next waiting customer. This happens twice more, and when the fourth hooker sits down, and says "no way!", going with yet another guy, the bum speaks up to the 'tender. (I'm not gonna waste my time typing drunk-talk, but he's wasted by now, having had the whole jug) "I'm sick of this kind of treatment, it's my birthday,I'm sure I was here before that last guy, I paid you in up front, and all youve done is given me these lousy tomatos from your god-damn kitchen, whats the problem?" "Well," says the bartender, "First of all, that's not the kitchen, it's the on-site "clinic", and those are NOT tomatoes, they're abortions" ok, well, thats it from me...looking foward to the hate-posts...:p Last edited by cheebacheeba; 12-11-2003 at 01:23 AM.
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