~Wildfire~

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by barbra
fingers aren't going to help. people have to stop playing heaad games with one another. I see guys and gals keep 'score' all the time. they are always like, well he cheated on me so Im gonna do the same. If people could just be honest and fucking let go of all their conditioning then maybe people would raise better children.

then again Im waiting to go out and super bored with an opinion on everything.

You and I think alot alike...same with me and hellboy. I agree with both of you 100%...everyone loves to play games...that's not what relationships are about. If somebody cheats on you, just get rid of him/her...there's no reason to "get back at them".

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by barbra
they are always like, well he cheated on me so Im gonna do the same.

Why DO people do this?...If it is to 'get back at them' it isn't possible...This is why:

1) When they did it to you, YOU didn't DESERVE it...They WOULD deserve it...So...They did it for no reason other than their own personal gain, and they KNEW that they were being dishonest...You would have a reason, you would feel justified...It would NEVER really be 'even'

2) How can making YOURSELF just as bad as they are, make anything better?...Don't demean yourself to take revenge on someone else...You're really only hurting YOURSELF even more...And of course, for every argument after that, you have given them a weapon to use against you..."So what? YOU did it, too"...And, they'd be right...

You would never be able to trust them again...Even if they NEVER cheated again (which wouldn't really be very likely, but there are always exceptions)...The relationship would always be tense because of what had already happened...That's really no way to live...

It really is best just to walk away...THAT's how you 'get back' at them...Teach them that they can't do things like that to people and just get away with it...

Once again...Problem removed=Problem solved

[barbra]

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
You and I think alot alike...same with me and hellboy. I agree with both of you 100%...everyone loves to play games...that's not what relationships are about. If somebody cheats on you, just get rid of him/her...there's no reason to "get back at them".

I hate relationships, I like dating. BUT seems to me a LOT of people jump into the sex thing. after going out once or twice I will usually kiss someone to see if they are scared of me (most people are intimidated by me) and you know, boys seem to think that if your tounges touch its booty time, they jump right into the gropping, its like they aren't even comfortable kissing me, their lips are all stiff and they can't flow with me but they want to have sex??! what the fuck kind of sex can you have if making out isn't working?

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by barbra
I hate relationships, I like dating. BUT seems to me a LOT of people jump into the sex thing. after going out once or twice I will usually kiss someone to see if they are scared of me (most people are intimidated by me) and you know, boys seem to think that if your tounges touch its booty time, they jump right into the gropping, its like they aren't even comfortable kissing me, their lips are all stiff and they can't flow with me but they want to have sex??! what the fuck kind of sex can you have if making out isn't working?

LOL. Yeah, I remember those days...luckily I don't have to deal with that anymore...but you're right. Everybody's so used to just jumping in and having sex right away that they don't even know HOW to just kiss, or be romantic...take things slow. It's actually very sad.

[barbra]

BR,

I think people keeps tabs/score because they just want an excuse to fuck. to each their own really, if you think your vagina is trash then treat it like trash I suppose. Some men might like beef curtains. boys get to be dogs cause their shit doesn't get worn out. do guys get uti if they have lots of sex?

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by barbra
BR,

I think people keeps tabs/score because they just want an excuse to fuck. to each their own really, if you think your vagina is trash then treat it like trash I suppose.

Exactly. People just want to have their cake and eat it too.

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by barbra
BR,

I think people keeps tabs/score because they just want an excuse to fuck.

Thanks for clearing that up...I never really thought of it that way...I suppose I was only seeing the 'cheated on person' as a victim...But, you're right, I'm sure that there are quite a few out there that are just as bad as the cheaters...


As to Hellboy's comment about women who stay with cheaters, beaters, and abusers (physical, mental and verbal...It ALL hurts)...I sometimes tend to blame the women...NO, they didn't ASK for it...BUT, if they stick around and keep coming back for MORE, they ARE asking for it...

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I won't do it again"...How many times do you have to hear that shit, before you KNOW it's shit?...Don't buy it...

If women refused to put up with this shit, the men would HAVE to stop doing it, because they would have no one TO mistreat...And that goes BOTH ways...Women can be the 'bad guy' sometimes, too

[jenna26]

Originally posted by bloodrayne

As to Hellboy's comment about women who stay with cheaters, beaters, and abusers (physical, mental and verbal...It ALL hurts)...I sometimes tend to blame the women...NO, they didn't ASK for it...BUT, if they stick around and keep coming back for MORE, they ARE asking for it...

I have been in two abusive relationships (one got physical twice, one was verbally abusive and also a habitual cheat), unlike many women after the abuse started I got out fairly quickly. But having been there, I understand why they stay. They stay not only out of fear, they also stay because they remember the person they fell for in the first place. Usually the person they become is not the person they seemed to be in the beginning. It is just so easy to become wrapped up in someone, to define yourself by that person when you have no confidence in yourself. I spent a lot of time evaluating myself and how I could be "fooled" by these guys and the answer is simple; they seemed strong during a time when I felt weak. Love, or the desire for it, can make you really stupid. And it is a sad thing to have to admit that you have fallen in love with a creep; you don't want to admit it. So some women ignore the warnings in their heads and stick it out, blaming themselves every step of the way for the actions of the person they are with. It is pathetic and sad, but true.

[bloodrayne]

I feel sorry for you Jenna, I really do...But, I am truly glad that you were able to get out of that situation....I blame a lack of self-esteem on these things...And the abusers use that, as well as help to develop it, and tear you down to KEEP you 'stuck' with them...

[jenna26]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
I feel sorry for you Jenna, I really do...But, I am truly glad that you were able to get out of that situation....I blame a lack of self-esteem on these things...And the abusers use that, as well as help to develop it, and tear you down to KEEP you 'stuck' with them...

Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for the ones that don't have enough respect for themselves to tear themselves free. :) You either wise up and get out, or eventually you just let yourself die inside. Not a hard choice to make, when you look at it that way, but most don't see it that way. They don't realize how bad it can get; one of the reasons I think I was able to find the strength to stand up and walk away is because I have seen it happen to others. I know women who have let themselves be defeated like that.

But you are absolutely right, they prey upon that weakness. Then exploit it to keep that person where they want them.