Would you sugar-coat it?

[ChEEbA]

you know, maybe the sugar coating isn't just for the kids. How would you feel if you fatherd a mentally deffecient child? would you want to call him/her retarded? The love for your child shouldn't be any less unless of course you are a bitter angry selfish individual.

If it's about the parent, well...in all honesty, fuck that, I consider THAT an act of a selfish individual, I mean if you gotta resort to not acknowledging the reality of a problem to make it somehow easier on yourself, rather than your child...that's not right.
From my current perspective, it would be my love of the child that would prompt me to let them understand the situation as fully as possible, so that they could deal with it in whatever manner they need to, and start from a fully informed first step.
"Retarded" has become such an ASSHOLE of a word since it has been used for derogatory means...I wouldn't really want to CALL them retarded, but I would want them to fully understand their condition...Honestly, when I saw these kids over the years, it was a shame, I felt like they'd been mislead - even back then, I always wondered what the deal was going on in the parents head. I couldn't see a reason then, nor can I now.
It always struck me as kind of like lying...I guess everyone had their own ways of viewing the matter, and all I can offer is my CURRENT perspective...but it'd seem to me that being completely honest and open with the child would better prepare them for life...because if they never associate their condition with an insult from the beggining, would they not be less likely to receive a rude awakening from someone who will not only NOT sugar-coat it, but try to degrade them simply by stating fact in an disrespectful manner?

I've yet to see any valid reasons for this strange parental ritual, folks...step right up and enlighten me, if you can...

[jenna26]

Originally posted by barbra
maybe Im missing the point but I think if a child has a mental handicap then you should treat that kid like any other kid. they still want to learn and play and its not like they will never be able to live their life.

you know, maybe the sugar coating isn't just for the kids. How would you feel if you fatherd a mentally deffecient child? would you want to call him/her retarded? The love for your child shouldn't be any less unless of course you are a bitter angry selfish individual.

Its good that schools try and teach tolerance and unity by 'sugar coating' with words. What if you had never had the experiance with those children in school? Would you be so understanding to their handicap? You would understand it even less than you do now certainly.

In an ideal world, that is exactly the way it would be. A handicapped child would be treated like any other child. People would relate to them simply as a human being. But the world is a cruel place, children can be especially cruel. And sometimes it just doesn't matter if they are taught tolerance; they seem to lash out at children that are obviously different from them almost instinctively. It doesn't help that many adults can't even display any real level of tolerance or compassion.

But I think that it is actually more about the parents than the children themselves. The parents suffer along with their children and it must be a hard issue to face as a parent. To know what kind of world your child lives in and know how cruel that world will be. But at that same time, they want to be kind to their children and love their children unconditionally. So what is the answer? Honesty and kindness can often be mutually exclusive. Parents might feel they are being cruel to their own child if they are too honest.

In the end, I think honesty is best. And I wish people would wise up and treat every child,hell every person, with the respect and kindness they deserve. But that will never happen, because people suck. :D

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by meetthecreeper


I think people are generally cruel in a group, its the pack mentality, one trying to be the most popular in the group, being the funniest and so on.

I generally dont think the individual is going to come right out and say that someone is retarted or a mental case and such. I think individuals in most cases will do what they feel is right in their hearts.

I don't agree with this but for the sack of arguement lets say you're right about the pack mentality and that an individual might act one way with the pack and do what they think is right when they're alone, they're still not a good person.

You're acting one way when you're with the pack to impress them and try to be cool but when you're alone you want to be nice, all that makes you is a poser and ultimately a bad person. If you know what's going on is wrong then DON'T DO IT.

[urgeok]

I'
ll add my 2 cents tomorrow ... on top of every other god damn thing thats happened in the last little while - I got a wicked head cold this weekend - my throat feels like i've been eating razorblades and its kept me from sleeping - or posting here - for the last couple of days ..

i cant remark on anything that requires a little bit of thinking because my head feels like its full of wet cement ..

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by urgeok
I'
ll add my 2 cents tomorrow ... on top of every other god damn thing thats happened in the last little while - I got a wicked head cold this weekend - my throat feels like i've been eating razorblades and its kept me from sleeping - or posting here - for the last couple of days ..

i cant remark on anything that requires a little bit of thinking because my head feels like its full of wet cement ..

sorry dude, hope ya feel better

[urgeok]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
sorry dude, hope ya feel better

thanks -

my kid got if first - a slight cough .. i got the adult version i guess.

one thing at a time i can handle but its starting to pile up..
to make matters worse i had committed to a outdoor volleyball tourney saturday - i had to play but i just played setter position,,, and tonight i had a baseball game i couldnt bow out of because a lot of people were away... i told them to put me at catcher...

[Marroe]

mmmkay....this is a hard question. I would hope, like all other people, that I would never be put into a situation where I had a child with a disability...But it does happen, and it could very well happen to me. I honestly couldn't know what exactly I'd say unless I WAS in the situation, I would like my child to live as normal as possible....but when they were old enough, and at a point where they would understand, I would tell them about their disability, and help them live as normal of an adult life as they could with it. I could never stand to, or hear anyone else use the "retarded" when referring to a handicaped child.

[ChEEbA]

~BUMP~

[noctuary]

I don't have children, so of course I can't reply from that viewpoint. If I did, however... I don't think that I could bring myself to lie to my child in that way. I realize that most parents in this situation are bending the truth to avoid hurting their children, but I couldn't do it. In my opinion, it would be better in the long run for the child to hurt a little in the short term than to go through a life of self-deception. At the same time, however, I would attempt to teach them about the people that will prey on their weaknesses, so they could be prepared to deal with the bullies when the time came.

[ChEEbA]

Nice answer there. Yeah...my main thing would be that if the child was already operating at a diminished mental capacity, that they should at least be properly equipped with a realistic outlook. It would suck, no doubt...being told you were different...but better hearing it in a posetive, informative way, than to have the view of some ignorant asshole thrown at you when you weren't prepared for it.