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#1
08-25-2004, 06:05 AM
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Corpse Refuses To Rise, Despite Family's Insistence
South African Corpse Fails To Rise
JOHANNESBURG South African police are going to court to demand the burial of a 77-year-old man who has been dead seven weeks, despite his family saying a "prophet" had foretold his resurrection, police said on Tuesday. Free State resident Paul Meintjes’s body was returned to his family late last week after the local mortuary refused to store it any longer. The body was kept in his widow’s room for three days before officials said it was a health risk and ordered it returned to the mortuary. "The body is OK -- it is still recognisable," said police spokesman Captain Sam Makhele in Bloemfontein. "But after a few days out of the fridge the smell was not OK." The police hoped a magistrate would decide soon, but it was not clear if the family would oppose the move, he said. Meintjes died on July 1, but has been in South African newspaper headlines ever since, with his family at loggerheads with other members of their small farming community over his anticipated resurrection. Police had no dealings with the Durban-based "prophet" and could give no more details about him, he said. South African media has named him as a former bank manager, who has since gone to ground.
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...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be 
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#2
08-25-2004, 11:31 AM
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*shakes head* you just shouldn't believe everything you're foretold...
...yeah, I'm sorry...
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#3
08-25-2004, 12:02 PM
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That was actually a good pun. i didnt think they existed, but they do...
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#4
08-26-2004, 07:14 PM
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If the family is worried that the body will ressurect after he's been buried, just cut his head of first. Problem solved.
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They make...Headcheese! They take the head and they scrape out all the flesh, except for the tongue! They use the muscles... the eyes, the jowels, the ligements and everything! They don't throw nothing away!
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