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| View Poll Results: How do you use toilet paper? | |||
| Neatly folded. |
   
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2 | 22.22% |
| Jumbled up. |
  
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4 | 44.44% |
| I use my hand. |
  
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1 | 11.11% |
| I have a walnut stuck in my ass. It hurts. A lot. |
  
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2 | 22.22% |
| Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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#1
07-21-2004, 10:39 AM
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Toilet Paper: Fold or Jumble?
When you wipe your butt, do you fold the TP or do you just jumble it up? Or do you use your hand? Ewww...
__________________
Bwind22- "Great minds think alike... And all others wind up with shit on their hands." 
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#2
07-21-2004, 11:12 AM
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We just keep an old Sears Roebuck catalog in the outhouse. While your waiting you crumple it up a couple of times to make it softer...
__________________
"Tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out. Nosferatu, Does not this word sound like the call of the death bird at Midnight? You dare not say it since the pictures will fade into dark shadows, ghostly dreams will rise from your heart and feed on your own blood
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#3
07-21-2004, 11:28 AM
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Keep an old corn cob in the outhouse, it can be a little rough at times though
__________________
I was not born to live a mans life, but to be the stuff of future memory. 3 can keep a secret if 2 are dead. I've never been nice my whole life....but, I'll do my best to be sweet. I keep my standards low, so I'm never disappointed. The next words out of your mouth better be some Mark Twain shit, cos' I am going to be chiseling it on your tombstone. Trample the weak, Hurdle the dead. Forgive your enemies......after they are slain. The God I believe in aint short of cash mister.
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#4
07-21-2004, 11:30 AM
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Actually, I wrap the paper around my hand a few times before I commence wiping. This way, I avoid any fecal residue getting on my fingers.
__________________
FROM GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES AND LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT, GOOD LORD DELIVER TO US! Old Scotch Invocation -- adapted by Stingy Jack Stingy's Horror DVD Collection
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#5
07-21-2004, 11:43 AM
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dont bother with paper, I just ring up some brass, and she comes round and licks it off.
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#6
07-21-2004, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#7
07-21-2004, 12:04 PM
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when we went camping as kids we used newspaper sometimes.....read it first while dumping, the wipe crap on the shit thats printed in it.
when camping as well, a mate once took a dump in the middle of a cow field, the cows just stood there looking, mooing and eating grass, we was in stitches for ages afterwards, I think I pissed myselff aswell laughing.
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#8
07-21-2004, 12:08 PM
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This reminds me...:)
when my fiance's family was here a couple of months ago for her college greduation, a bunch of us went to the beach one day. it was foggy as a motherfucker, you could barely see 20 feet. i had to piss somethin' fierce, so i wandered about 200 feet or so from everyone and stood there in the middle of the day, on a beach, pissing my little heart out. toi anyone who could make out my silhouette, it just looked like i was standing there :D
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#9
07-21-2004, 12:09 PM
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When I was a kid, we started up a nature club. This was supposed to be a very Thoreauvian club, with a complete fall back to nature. We chose to abandon all modern conveniences, including toilets and toilet paper.
So, one afternoon I took a shit in the bushes and decided to wipe my butt with some leaves. Suffice it to say, the leaves were dry and crumbled inside of my crack, sticking there. It was quite uncomfortable. This was when I decided that such a club was bullshit.
__________________
FROM GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES AND LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT, GOOD LORD DELIVER TO US! Old Scotch Invocation -- adapted by Stingy Jack Stingy's Horror DVD Collection
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#10
07-21-2004, 12:11 PM
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Did oyu ever get the crumbles out of you butt? C'mon man! Dont leave us hanging......
Get it? "Leave us hang... Never mind. I'll go sit in the corner. Im a bad monkey....
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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