Fun In An Elevator

[bloodrayne]

One of the guys from the club (Josh, if you remember him) just sent me this...I thought it was kinda funny...



Fun In An Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say "Oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: "Mmmm... tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

You guys got any?

[ItsAlive75]

Quote random "The Patriot" lines in a shrill, piercing shriek.

[filmmaker2]

Get on an elevator going up, but instead of facing the door like everyone else, turn around and stare at them in a really scary way for two floors.

Then get out. Then run up five or six flights of stairs and greet the occupants when the elevator door opens again. Tell them, "I heard what you said about me!" Make sure you're smiling and your eyes are wide open when you do this.

[massacre man]

me and my friend got in an elevator once and i whispered to my friend really loud (only one other person in the elevator) i whispered "is that the one Nick was talking about?" and he said "yeah" i just looked at him and reached into my coat pocket then we just started laughing the guy just started breathing real hard

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

How can you not have fun in an elevator?

Squeal "weee!" all the way to your floor.

[dantehorrorfan]

Originally posted by massacre man
me and my friend got in an elevator once and i whispered to my friend really loud (only one other person in the elevator) i whispered "is that the one Nick was talking about?" and he said "yeah" i just looked at him and reached into my coat pocket then we just started laughing the guy just started breathing real hard

LMFAO!!!!:D

[urgeok]

i have a friend who will fart in an elevator and when someone gets on, he loudly blames his wife ...

this wouldnt be funny with anyone else but this guy kills me and his wife doesnt even care ...

[The STE]

sex...

















































...just don't forget to stop the elevator...:(

[dodge50]

THE ENGINEER, a true story to my disgrace.


I use to work as a lift engineer in the south of England, and for all those of you who have never been on the top of a lift before there are top of car controls. You get "Car", "Off" and "Top" plus up and down buttons, this allows you to overide the lift buttons and basically take the lift to any floor although the doors don't open in this mode. In England every lift door can be opened with a door key to allow access when the lift isn't there, what you do is call the lift, press a button to send it down and jump out, as the lift goes down you pop open the doors and this stops the lift moving due to the door stops (it shuts the power off), then you can climb on top and close the doors again. After a second if you don't select "Off" or "Top" the lift will merrily carry on with it's job.

Anyway I had just got on top this lift in a thirty floor block of flats and was checking my tools, I left the lift running and people were still using it. I heard these people talking so I waited till the lift got to their floor and they got out. The lift went off again to I assumed a floor call, so I stopped it mid floor. After about thirty seconds I heard this grizzling and a feverish banging of buttons. I peered through the hole where the surveilance camera was and saw a little boy of about ten who must of got on at the same floor as the others. My evil and un-thinking side took over and I said in a deep menacing voice "Little Boy". The kid froze and looked round so I said it again with more menace "LITTLE BOYYYYYY". He went fucking apeshit. He was screaming his head off and banging on the doors, luckily he was to short to reach the alarm button which was above the others. I flicked the controls back to car and was praying for it to return to it's programme and go to a floor, ANY floor. After what seemed like forever the lift kicked off with this kid climbing the walls and crying his eyes out, and went to the nearest floor. As the doors opened he ran screaming out the lift and down the corridor. I took the lift down and fucked off fast and denied I was ever there that day.

I am not proud of this incident but.......
When I am sober I feel really bad about this :(
When I've had a drink I laugh my bollocks off :)

If that kid ever reads this "Sorry"

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by dodge50
My evil and un-thinking side took over and I said in a deep menacing voice "Little Boy". The kid froze and looked round so I said it again with more menace "LITTLE BOYYYYYY". He went fucking apeshit.

For some reason, I had the Tall Man in my head when I read that part...I wonder if that kid had ever seen Phantasm...and if perhaps, that was the image running through HIS mind, too......