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#1
11-20-2006, 10:33 PM
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my Top 10 Celebrity Assassination Wish List
In no particular order mind you:
1) OJ Simpson - enough already ! You did it, you got away with it, stop reminding everyone. Lex Luthor might be the greatest criminal mind of this century, but you have the greatest criminal ego. 2) Jared Fogle (aka the Subway guy) - You were fat, you're not. You're still annoying. Go away. 3) Tyra Banks - You're wonderful to look at, painful to listen to. How exactly does a kid with Cancer need to be interrupted by your story of a struggle with trying to fit into your "fat jeans" compare ? Self- centered moron. 4) Dr Phil - What is our problem ? Giving dopey, egotistical Oprah castoffs their own show is a good start. Speaking of ... 5) Oprah Winfrey - you might have more money than God, but to pull the race card on a store when it's closed because it was closed and you are Oprah F'in' Winfrey ? Save that for some down on their luck southern family who couldn't get a table at Denny's. 6) Kevin Federline - You got to dance behind and under the sheets with Brittany. Guess what ? You're still an untalented moron. At least J Lo's first husband/ dancer guy finally took the hint his 15 minutes of fame were up and disappeared. Be gone ! 7) Judge Maria Lopez - yeah, you're female, Hispanic and a tv judge. guess what ? You're not People's Court Marilyn Miglian. Verdict is in : you suck ! 8) Maury Povich - If you seriously expect to have guests on under show titles like "Don't Stare At Me ! I'm Not A Freak !, why have show titles like that ? You almost make Geraldo's cries for justice over Jon Benet seem sincere. Dope ! 9) Borat's SC "victims"- you're college guys. You got free beer. Trying to pretend you're "victims" just makes you sound stupider than anything you said on film. Lawsuits like yours make the entire American legal system a joke (see #1- OJ Simpson) 10) Keith Richards - just to see if he'd die LOL CK 
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#3
11-20-2006, 10:42 PM
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Quote:
(NOTE: putting political people on the list might leave you open to visits from the FBI, etc since it is a public forum. Cross your fingers that someone who would choke on a potato chip might still try to use a hair dryer while in the shower :) . That optimism and backwards thinking keeps this country more interesting than, say, Guam). CK
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#4
11-20-2006, 10:54 PM
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I thought I was the only one who wanted to see Jared Fogle's ass capped!
Oprah is definatley on my list. I almost kicked my TV in after a caught a part of her show that had a episode about how she was addicted to mashed potatos. I'll have to get back to you with my list. All you motherfuckers already know which ginger shit filmmaking bastard is at the top. At Bam Fagera to it aswell.
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#5
11-21-2006, 02:29 AM
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Great list. Personally, I'd drop Tyra and replace her with Mel Gibson (she's just too hot, and he's nuts). I'd also drop Borat's "victims" and replace them with Borat. Finally, I'd replace Keith Richards with Tom Cruise. I'm with you on the rest.
__________________
Atheist Revolution
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#6
11-21-2006, 02:43 AM
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nice list..
i would choose.. tom cruise..get yourself some height macy gray...plz plz...'CHOKE' backstreet boys..admit it..your all fucken gay julia roberts..somebody said you could act...THEY LIED' britney spears...somebody said you could sing...'THEY LIED' mariah carey...so sluttyness does sell records. robbie williams..for fux sakes..take the socks out of your pants russell crowe...your about as hot as a tooth ache neil finn (nz singer)..your old..hurry up and die dave dobbin (nz singer) how many more retirement songs do we have to sit through. elton john...diana;s dead...get over it!! ok so i have 11.. can i reply 2wice :D
__________________
my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D
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#7
11-21-2006, 04:02 AM
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How about 33 celebs that I wish would fall off the face of the earth...
Justin Timberlake P. Diddy Paris Hilton Kanye West Michael Moore Bill O' Reilly Geraldo Rivera Tom Cruise Michael Jackson Star Jones Anna Nicole Smith Kid Rock Britney Spears Kevin Federline Oprah Winfrey Dr. Phil Lars Ulrich Rush Limbaugh Rosie O Donnell Madonna Pamela Anderson Courtney Love Janice Dickinson Fred Durst Nick Carter Aaron Carter 50 Cent Jay-Z Jessica Simpson Ashlee Simpson Hillary Duff Lindsay Lohan R. Kelly
__________________
   Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F--- out of everybody! -Sam Kinison
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#8
11-21-2006, 05:07 AM
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Wow.. You have crafted a list that is IMPOSSIBLE to disagree with...
Quote:
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#9
11-21-2006, 05:12 AM
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Ozzy Osbourne - What happened to you, mate? From the Prince of Darkness to the laughing stock of metal. From a Rock and Roll Rebel to covering Mississippi Queen? Go away; let us remember you the way you were.
Metallica - All of you. From now on, I'm just going to pretend you all died on the bus with Cliff Burton. Ben Stiller - The one character you play wasn't that funny the first time. Get lost, and stop making 500 movies a year. Mike Myers - Terrible. On the merits of Cat in the Hat alone, you should be destroyed. Robin Williams - You got your academy award. Now go away. Pending: Tim Burton - From stylistic genious to mediocre hack? I'm giving you a few more chances, then it's curtains.
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