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#1
01-10-2006, 12:22 AM
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
Tenor: There's a song that I recall my mother sang to me,
Spriggs: (Sighs.) Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in when I was ninety-three. Spriggs: I-diddle-di. [Spoken] Who was that bum? Bluebottle and Spriggs: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po (Bluebottle has dropped behind.) Spriggs: [Spoken] Keep fired up. Keep up! Bluebottle: [Spoken] Keep up lad. Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po, lad! Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po! Bluebottle: Lad, po lad, Spriggs: Yiddle i po, Both: Ying tong, ying tong, Spriggs: Yiddle, Bluebottle: Ying tong, ying tong, Both: Ying tong yiddle i po, ying tong, ying tong yiddle. Bluebottle: [Spoken] Ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po (raspberry). Spriggs: Oh! Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle I po! (Frantic trumpeting followed by three huge drumbeats.) Bluebottle: Yiiiing, ying tongy tongy, ying tong yiddle I po, ying tong yiddle i po. Secombe: What a lovely melody divine! Bluebottle: Yi-i-ing, ying tongy tongy, Milligan: Get off the record, sir! Bluebottle: Yiiiing, ying tong, ying tong yiddy, po, Milligan: Get away! Bluebottle: Dig-dig-diggun, dig-dig-digga, ying tong yiddle I po. Seagoon: Hear that crazy rhythm, driving me insane, strike your partner on the bonce (thump), Eccles: Ooh! I felt no pain. Seagoon: (Screeches.) Seagoon, Bluebottle and Eccles: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying. Soprano: Take me back to Vienna... (melodic raspberries) Bloodnok: Ohhh! Eccles: Ooh! Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the... (ceiling collapses) Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: [Distant] ...tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po. (They all dash forward.) Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle I po, Spriggs: Where's he going, lad? Bluebottle: I don't know... Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po. Seagoon: LOOK OUT! Bluebottle> Ey! (They all dash back into the distance.) Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: [Hurriedly] Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle I po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po. (They all dash forward again.) Ying tong... (Bomb falls and explodes.) All: [Pinky-and-Perky style] Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po. Yiiiing, tongy tongy tongy, yiddy diddy diddy da doh, ying diddy, Ying tong diddle, yiddledy boo, (Thigh-slapping followed by a raspberry) Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle, ying tong yiddle i po, Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po, oh! Last edited by ShankS; 01-10-2006 at 06:20 AM. 
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#3
01-10-2006, 04:15 AM
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Quote:
tis a luv'lee diddle poo shanty thar'
__________________
my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D
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#4
01-10-2006, 05:42 AM
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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#5
01-12-2006, 09:49 AM
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I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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#7
01-13-2006, 01:57 AM
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Is this stuff from The Goons?
__________________
  Battle Royalty, 2009 @Wolf_Scousemac
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#8
01-13-2006, 02:08 AM
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Quote:
goddamnit that's fucked up.
__________________
how 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served inna dirty ashtray? Budduskey:i am the motherfucking shore patrol,motherfucker!i am the motherfucking shore patrol!give this man a beer. "Repent, Harlequin!" said the Ticktockman. "Get stuffed!" replied the Harlequin, sneering.
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#9
01-13-2006, 03:20 AM
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but its funny as hell!:D
__________________
Hang the body in the shed Using meat-hooks through the legs Catch the blood as it drips from the stump Like the others from the past The naked belly, full of cysts Smells so good, I cant resist I know inside this ones the best As I eat the rotting chest
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#10
01-13-2006, 01:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
how 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served inna dirty ashtray? Budduskey:i am the motherfucking shore patrol,motherfucker!i am the motherfucking shore patrol!give this man a beer. "Repent, Harlequin!" said the Ticktockman. "Get stuffed!" replied the Harlequin, sneering.
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