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#1
03-31-2005, 08:07 AM
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Drunk Tries To Pass Breathalyzer By Eating His Own Shit
DUI Suspect Eats Feces
Toronto, Canada -- An accused drunk driver tried but failed to foil a police breathalyzer after stuffing his mouth full of feces. "I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," South Simcoe Police Insp. Tom McDonald said. "I've never heard of anything like this before," said the 28-year police veteran. Arrested Sunday after his Ford pickup was pulled over on a highway just outside of Barrie, the 59-year-old driver was loaded into a cruiser and taken to a police station for testing. En route, Sgt. James Buchanan said the prisoner vomited, urinated and defecated in the rear of the car. After arriving at the station, he said the man grabbed a handful of his own waste "and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyzer machine." It didn't work, Buchanan said. The motorist was charged with impaired driving, plus driving with more than 80 mg of alcohol in 100 ml of blood in his system. "This fellow was in dire need of help. It's bizarre, but the effects of alcohol can make people do strange things," McDonald said The cruiser took two hours to clean and "it's back on the road."
__________________
...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be 
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#3
03-31-2005, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
__________________
stop the world - I want to get off 
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#6
04-01-2005, 11:45 PM
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Out of all the dumb things I've done when I'm drunk, it has never occured to me to do that. :D
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