All, Awesome feedback. This thing is in first draft form so it is currently where it needs to be to be rewritten. That's the whole reason I started posting it here. I don't know what the hell Im doing
So I figured being here would give me a nudge toward how to rewrite it. Friends are to easy to please, I figured yall would be more honest. The next chapter will go up today or tomorrow. I have the entire thing but this forum wont let me post anything longer than 10k words so it takes a few posts to put up each chapter. The plan is to get it all up here and then take all of the feedback and go back at it.