Hey Egekrusher, alot of people here know that I went through a lot of scary shit in my life. I have been through your experience many times. Even though I have a handle on it now, and for a long time, it comes back once and a while, most recently a dark period during the fall.
You obviously have alot going for you, and have retained interests in your music and some other things.......this is good, I have been at points where I have no interest in ANYTHING!
Consider seeing a therapist.......sometimes works and othertimes not but worth trying! Also think about these messages originated from nothing, or are a result ofwhat you have been told by other people. I know you feel like you don't want to change....that is depression.....you will find you get to the point where you are sick of being this way and want to fight it! think about the fact that you deserve the right to be happy as much as anyone else, and do positive things for yourself, spoil yourself even to make this happen! Really you have the responsibility of making your own life worthwhile.
Looks like a lot of people on this forum are concerned about you...so people do care obviously. The wanting to hurt other people comment is disturbing...but I think it is due to your being angry about being unhappy, and resenting people. Normal too when you are feeling this shitty!
Talk to your doctor about all of this too....it may even be related to an actual physical problem, where medication could help.
Good luck E! You can talk to me anytime if you want, or anybody else on this thread.....great supportive people here! Big Smile for you!
:D :
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