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Originally Posted by Kandarian Demon
I get what you're saying, and I don't disagree, actually. It's like I said, I can sound a bit cynical at times, but I was simply stating the fact (or what I think is a "fact", at least) that we're all at least at some level superficial - if that is the correct word.
You ask, IS it being superficial? Well - in a way yes, but if it's human nature, we can't really change it, and if we can't, then what good does it do us to blame each other for it? However, when it comes to judging someone on their income, as many woman in particular do, I have to admit that I find that extremely shallow... although of course, who am I to say what they should look for in a partner.
I think we, especially us woman, have an unrealistic idea of what romance is and should be... and I'm the first to admit that I would absolutely love it if my prince charming existed, but I am enough of a realist to know that he doesn't - if it makes any sense to explain it like that. There is the reality that we would like to be real, and then there's the actual reality that isn't quite as cute.
The fact is that if it was all about personality, which is a beautiful thought, we would all be pansexual. The difference between a close friend and a partner IS the sexual attraction.
BUT... I HAVE also experienced that feelings, including physical attraction, CAN develop even though you initially didn't feel anything at all and never thought you would. I've seen people whom I even considered unattractive turn into "hunks" right in front of my eyes.
Still, I'm 36, and I've kind of had to learn to accept that I can't attract a better half the way I happen to look. If I couldn't when I was 25, then I sure as hell can't now that age is starting to creep up on me. It sucks, to put it mildly, because I am the ultimate "nest builder" and never really wanted anything more than my own family. But - do I resent men for it? No, absolutely not... you can't blame anyone for what they're not attracted to. But a lot of woman choose to call it mysogyny.
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In regards to the fellow who said he 'wanted someone more feminine', if you were asking for the truth, and that was it... I'm with you, I wouldn't regret getting the truth. I want the truth.
You're right, I have been told of non-sexual attraction friendships that turn into sexual attraction marriage. Sounds wonderful. Personality, pheromones, spirits and God make anything possible. All the more reason to have a variety of friends. Funny, reminds me of the "When Harry Met Sally" scene about how men and women can't be friends. I don't believe it; it's just a complex humorous contemplation.
Along with friends becoming lovers, I've also seen attractions I never would have expected. I've dated women who were beautiful, and friends and family thought they were ugly. Some men like very thin, some very heavy set. Honestly, you'd be foolish to think no man would be sexually attracted to you. There may be statistically demonstrated physical attractiveness levels, but I assure you, sexual attraction is in the eye of the beholder. I'm absolutely certain there are men sexually attracted to you. And in an area near you. :)
And I should also say, I completely agree with you, that we all need to be thankful for the lives we have. That is to say, we must live in the now, and not think we can't be whole, happy and have a worthwhile life unless we have a spouse and/or children. You're spot on with that. With that understanding, we can accept a future spouse is possible, seek a mate, date, and accept we don't know if it will happen.