[_____V_____]

A young man was lost in a forest, when he came upon a small house.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

Man: ”I’m lost, can you put me up for the night?”

Chinese Man: “Certainly, but one condition - If you lay a finger on my daughter, I’ll inflict upon you the 3 worst Chinese tortures known to man!"

“OK”, said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, pretty and had a cute figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Late at night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear.

Near daybreak, he crept back to his room, tired but happy.

He woke up to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read:

“Chinese torture 1: Large Rock on chest."

Man: "Ah! If that’s the best the old man can do, then I don’t have much to worry about.”

He picked the rock up, walked over to the window and threw the rock out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read:

”Chinese torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”

In a panic, he saw that the rope that was already getting close to the end. He glanced down and noticed that the ground was about 100 feet down. Feeling that a few broken bones was better than being castrated, he jumped out of the window after the rock.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read:

“Chinese torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.”